I used to feel that too ... I understand.

I was 11 when my own heart was viciously shattered on the ground and stomped on for good measure by my best friend at that time ... a best friend I had had for 7 years before that ... She left me broken and beyond repair. She's the reason I"m sworn off dating girls.

It took me another 11 years to attemtp to put the pieces together ... I had no relationships in high school. period. And when I finally decided I should look again, I was met with one guy who was so far in the closet that at the first hint that someone might find out about him, he stood me up and erased me from his life completely ... One who would much rather have dated much older men ... one who fed me empty promises so he could get his way with me and left the first instant he could telling me not to contact him until I could learn patience, all the while he was lusting after another guy he couldn't get at that time. I'm 100% sure he was cheeting on me ...

I know hurts. I know emotional pain. Emotional scars leave hidious marks that the world can't see, but affect us each and every day. I'm still getting over them myself ...

I met my mate almost a year ago and he did the impossible ... he mended my shattered, broken heart. He showed me love and compassion and gentle protectiveness ... he wiped away the cracks in my heart like they were nothing more than cobwebs ... He made me whole again ...

There are still scars, but they are slowly fading.


What I'm trying to say is that I have been where you are. I know how much it hurts. I gave up finding anyone who would love me and never hurt me again ... And that's when I found him. There is still hope.

Maybe you just need to avoid relationships for a while ... You stumble through life and try to focus on other things ... and without warning, something just "clicks" with someone. You'll know they are the right person because they will do everything in their power to make you the happiest you can be. That is when you know you're on the right track. They will not just say things to you ... no ... they will show you. They will show you every minute they can that you are worthy of their protection and their devotion ... that is love. As long as you are happy, they will be happy.


I hope I have reached you in some way to show you that there is hope.


Maybe you can try setting a goal for yourself?

Something for you to prove that you don't need anyone who will lie and betray you. You don't need them, and you can be much more successful without them. Show the world how great a person you can be. A way to slap them in the face. A way to show them that you can be a truly amazing person and they never deserved you in the first place. Sort of like a little constructive revenge.

Prove to them that you are not the girl or wolf they carelessly tossed aside. That you are much more than that and they can't touch you at all.


I hope this helps.

Talon

Sorry that it took so long to reply to this. I've been busy, and wasn't able to give a proper response.

But...thank-you. I hear what you're saying. I want to believe that the same can happen for me. I don't want to be so pessimistic.
I know that I don't need people like that, and I have been separating myself from people who do that, as of late.
But it's hard finding a mate when you're a furry lesbian in the military.
"Normal" girls find it weird, and there aren't very many furry lesbians.
Idk. Seems impossible sometimes. x_x

Don't get me wrong. I don't need a mate. I just hate being lonely.

Oh, I very much understand. Most of the gay guys I came across were complete pervs and thought of only one thing ... Finding a guy who wasn't an entire perv and who wanted me for just being me took searching to the opposite corner of the country.

Considering how many people there are in this world, you'll find her eventually. But only when you both need each other the most.

Like you said, you don't NEED her right now, but you don't like being lonely. That's where friends come in. We fill the space until you find her, and we stick around to help where we can.

All I can really say is that I understand what you feel right now. I kept praying every day that I would find someone who could just be my best friend so I wouldn't be so lonely. I wasn't expecting him to be the perfect guy he is for me ... He doesn't act gay at all ... and I'm much more feminine than I am masculine (I don't dress it though. I'm not interested in that side of the gay stereotype. I just prefer jeans and a shirt). I ... I'm more into understanding how the minds of both genders work. It helps when I try to help someone feel better. My mate was looking for a football player and he found me instead ... and I hate football ... How's that for ironic :P

It will happen when it happens

In the mean time, talk to new people, make new friends. I can guarantee there are a lot more people who understand what you're going through that you realize.


(Let me know if I'm being pushy ... I sometimes tend to do that without realizing it when I get into my "wise advice" mode ... )

Nah, you're good. Lol.

I'm pretty set for now. I have my roommates, who are furries, and they, along with our other furry friends, are my world. I'd probably be dead without them, honestly.
But yeah, I know it will. I'd just prefer I not be a greymuzzle by the time it happens. Ya know?

Yup! I can agree with you there. I didn't want to be grey by the time I found mine either! So I know your concern.

It's good to hear that you have a lot of friends to support you


... There's a song I came across which describes my life exactly. I don't know what you think of country, but this one is called Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts.

It's about taking all the wrong paths to find the one person you are looking for to spend the rest of your life with, and how you never realised that in choosing that broken road, the one that seems to lead to nothing but heartbreak, it leads you straight to the one you were looking for. One of the lines mentions wanting to take all the time you lost searching for them and giving it to them, but they just take your hand and tell you it's okay because they've been there and they understand.

I love that song because it's also not very specific on what gender is addressing who. So it fits for both a straight couple and a gay/lesbian couple as well.

I actually like Rascal Flatts. I'll have to check that song out.

Okay I'm interested to hear what you think of that song.

Made me cry a bit. It's very good song.

Yeah, I cry every time I hear it. Particularly the part about wanting to take all the wasted years and give them to the one you love.

That's what I want to do. I just want to live my live over with my mate by my side the whole time ... the two of us sharing childhood memories ... but we wouldn't have met and fallen in love the way we did if it hadn't been for us searching for each other ... and we both understand and accept that

This is very true. Maybe I can find what you guys have one day.

I hope you do. I really hope you do find it.

Absolutely love this. It's very beautiful. :)