I disagree

Yeah that's the one. I dunno, I just felt really ashamed after it, like someone was judging me from behind going all "look how shallow, how dare they?". Siigh, this is why I don't partaque in self indulgence much beyond drawing for myself, I get overwhelmed by a giant feeling of guilt. The fact that I'm getting no response so far only adds to it.
I don't really feel better comparing myself to the people who draw porn and stuff either... I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of from drawing porn for money, even if it's quality may be "bad" by my standards. They succed at getting business more then I do.
That being said I feel a little better now after sleeping, and won't renouce to my goal to get that monster. It's a highquality plush from a great artist and worth every penny. I wish I got a little more response by now tho, time is running out and they're very limited (andmaybei'mbeginningtothinki'monmyhighhorseforthinkingiwouldreachitevencouch)
Thanks for trying to cheer me up, it means a lot still <3