Marvelous, I do say! As of yet, I find no particular error in plotting; however, the two year downtime between the two setting off is slightly contrived, as it would've made more sense if they had walked in opposite directions at the same time. In hindsight, I do believe that the largest problem with your work was the format with which it was posted: Most readers would give up on a story by the time they'd download it, so it would be ideal to change that as well, perhaps .txt format because you use a more standardized arrangement and because it is automatically shown on the FA server. Otherwise, I very much enjoyed this piece, and I shall eagerly await more from you: you've got quite the talent with you. Just make sure your story doesn't end up conveluding, confusing, or tedious without reason, like most of my work. I wish you well for a job well done.

Sincerely,

Poke.hub

Alright, I'll keep that in mind. And the two year thing is because I wanted Blazer to feel as if he has someone to catch up to.

You are awesome, buddy! Can`t wait to read more adventures~

First and foremost, I have to say that I think the thumbnail you chose for this chapter is a pretty good match to Blazer's character, heh heh. I'd say your series is off to a pretty decent start, even if I kinda don't know what exactly is going on, and by that I mean there are a few things that weren't explained as well as I think they could have been. For instance, Blazer's sudden realization that he wanted to become an explorer; that part confused me more than anything. Here we have someone apparently ready to give up on life, a savior tells him to try and live for something, and almost immediately upon hearing this, he knows what he wants to do with his life, now? A couple of things to consider in regards to that scene: for one, Grove wasn't even an official explorer at the time being, and moreover, this chapter didn't exactly explain what an "Explorer" did other than...well, explore!

The growing-up story between the two brothers was charming, to say the least, and, aside from the two-year gap, I felt it was reasonably paced. On that note, I'm not entirely sure why Blazer had to wait two years to start off on his own, even if you already mentioned that you wanted him to have someone or something to catch up to; for one, Blazer evolved first, right? I'd think that would at least put him ahead of Grove (even if he somehow kept losing all of his sparring matches despite sheer type and evolutionary advantage XD). The chapter ended off on a good note, as we at least know what Blazer intends to do next instead of blindly exploring in hopes of something happening.

So a few things could use a little more detail or explanation, but all in all, I'd say it's a pretty decent introduction. And it looks like I have a second chapter to look over, so I'll give it a read in the near future!

Just keep in mind this was meant as a prologue. All this was meant to do is provide Blazer with a backstory so you can better understand his character. The two year thing is because Grove is two years older than Blazer. Xp