Here it is, another depresso journal from yours truly, it's been a while this time at least.

My aunt died to cancer yesterday. March - May is a truly cursed time period for my extended family it seems. Thought I wouldn't be too affected as we weren't too close, but attending her funeral today was gut-wrenching as she died quite young. No parent should have to bury their daughter. My whole mood/mental health has been spiraling these past few days and this kinda sealed the deal. Made me realize I have treated quite a few people wrong, some stemming from my own mental health issues, others from me being a regular old dickhead sometimes. Working on those terrible traits of mine, bit by bit, albeit maybe too slowly.

I am very drained, mentally and emotionally. Sometimes I feel whatever friendships I've got left are slowly drifting apart. Perhaps this is just one of my many delusions I make myself believe (self-loathing my beloved). I dunno if it's just me but many interactions lately just feel a lot... colder and one-sided.

One a more (slightly) positive note, I am proud of myself for sticking to my 3D stuff, though my motivation sometimes... really wavers and I almost get convinced I am absolutely terrible at it and to just give up as I usually do. Still, I don't... somehow. I wanna get into modelling more, but I feel like I am stretching myself a bit too thin between animating and learning to model for now.

Go tell your bros you love them, btw. You never know.

(I am ok, do not worry about me, I am just venting)