So again typing a journal rambling away.

I often feel in life that I am walking through infinite black and whites,
while so many seem to be able to dance away in the gray.

I can never seem to understand this and often feel old,
as if sitting with a record playing a slow crackling tune.

This music is so clear to me so on tune, as if speaking to me.
I see so many others all in the gray dancing to something that warps.

I do not understand this music, as much as I try to.
I feel in the gray I become lost.

Its almost as if these people float,
knowing there way through the ever shifting strings.

I feel if I should step into the gray...
I would surely fall.

Thousands of squares,
The potential for structure.

People often tell me the gray area are peoples judgement.
To this I understand, but do not fully agree.

I see the shifting strings as something to be mapped.
A guideline to be made.

I feel this allows people to venture off the black and the white,
While allowing those who cannot dance in the gray to not sink.

I feel often alone in this place of thinking,
still watching all the people dancing,
still not understanding which lines are which.

What is black and white if there is no structure,
No general guideline a place to stand.

I fear if everyone was to stay in the gray,
Then it would surely swallowing both the black and the white.

With no black and white there is no equality and no protection.
Without the gray we lack ability for things to change.

There will always be gray for those that journey,
New things to think of and new angles to come from.

Why not add it to the black and white.
To try and understand it and find the best routes.

We have traveled much of the planet,
We still delve deeper to find more.

We have traveled to the moon,
built telescopes to see the stars.

All of that constructed on black and whites.
So why is there still so many black and whites.

To me gray areas often seem to be a place,
An excuse, purely to gain leverage in a situation.

I don't like this,
It scares me.

I like knowing my beat,
I like enjoying a rhythm

Doesn't matter the tempo,
As long as I can follow it and dance to it.

It's like music in general for me,
it creates an atmosphere

Enjoying the soft slow vibrations of a Cello,
Feeling the passion understanding the scene.

Take that away...
Things feel gray