You changed jobs for the better of your family. Whispering to me I'll be home, no more late nights. I believed, I hoped we could reconnect, rediscover us. I had joy in thoughts of fmaily time and a father involved with his young. I blindly believed; I dared to hope and dream again...
How could I have been so stupid, so blind, so believing. You are once again not here. Our offspring suffering from the lack of your precence. Me in tears at the pain of broken and empty words. Seeing our oldest with responsiblities she shouldn't have to bear for so long and one so young.
Me? What about me? I have to be strong for them. I have to hold their world together on my shoulders. I have to hide the tears and bury the pain. The wounds are still there from so many broken vows. For better or worse. I see your life is better...mine and MY youngs' getting worse. In sickness in health, I am at your side..in sickness I am alone; expected to be the strong one, expected to smile and carry on.
Hell I am not even close enough to be the trophy. I am the help that gives you benefits. That shoulders all responsibilities of raising the young. You make me feel unworthy to be seen with you, so I am seen alone by friends. You begrudge my asking of you to show me to the public, yet you pout and mood when I say no to time together in the home.
I try to become numb to the pain, to bury it down or forget it is there. Then you go and twist it in a new way. You plunge that knife even deeper, and don't even pull it out...for the next time when this one has scarred.
I have to keep going, with a smile on my face. I have to smile and endure through your affections. I am strong. I have to be strong so our girls will be strong. I shall endure, suffer, be patient with anything you throw at me...every slight, every broken hope and dream...I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH! For the sake of our young.. I WILL GET OVER YOU!.