Howdy. Happy Holidays and an upcoming new year.


I’d like to summarize my last journal, and then share a recap of this year, and what I plan to do next.



To summarize my last journal, to keep it to the most basic story and sentiments:

My joy for toons comes from the deepest well of love in my soul and a need to express feelings through toony kinks on just about all ends of the spectrum. However, my relationship with kinks when explicit sexuality is involved is impacted by previously hidden childhood trauma. Yikes! Spiraling into the sexual side of kinks threw me astray from my true desires, because the traumatic pull of my soul won out in its call to cope with the unbidden and hidden trauma of my being. Thankfully, the loving relationships I managed to develop outside of the sexual side of kinky toons managed to rekindle my senses and help me recover my true soul. Their support helped me to then face the totality of my traumatic experience and how it had painted the path of my life and art going forward.

That journey to begin healing from my trauma took me my whole life until now to complete. And it’s online side started with me joining DeviantArt as StrangelyFox and joining some silly pokemon flattening group and then posting in FlattenedCartoonFurries on YahooGroups. I started off just wanting to share the ideas I liked and wanted to see, because I couldn’t get them off my mind. I didn’t realize I was desperately searching for friends and validation after being thoroughly deprived of it. I didn’t realize that the temptation into pornography would spiral into a Ready-And-Waiting Trauma Cope that wanted to unravel across the rest of my life. I didn’t realize just how badly that Trauma Cope and desperation for friendship and validation would destroy my perspective~

Now I’m full of love, pain, and re-gratitude. That’s regret and gratitude combined. And hopefully there’s some wisdom and insight in there with me as well…

Then I gave my wishes:

I wish I never hid from truth.
I wish to be more honest and courageous for myself and everyone.

I wish I never sought familiar, traumatic patterns out of fear for the new.
I wish to be more love affirming and encouraging in my relationships.

I wish I never learned to copy my mother’s anger.
I wish to be able to hold more love and pain to increase my empathy.

I wish I never made myself a useful tool for other’s interests.
I wish to have more self-respect and search for the love I deserve in relationships.

I wish to always seek meaning in the sentiments of others to know who they are.

And I wish for my misery and struggle to be useful, if not at least entertaining, to others~


So that’s my last journal summarized, and I’d like to add to it the following conclusion: I clearly have absolutely zero business making porn and tormenting myself. I shouldn’t be putting that kind of energy out into the world, especially when I have so many better ideas and things I could do for myself and others. So I’m going to conclude my time playing with explicitly NSFW kink art with my Magnum Opus to Tantric Toons/Idun. Because I’ve found my peace in pornography, and I’ve found the friends I’ve been able to joyfully engage it with. And this last comic is essentially dedicated to how: I have found where I belong in this realm, and now that I have, I realize I must leave such love behind, because no matter how much I do belong there…

I have a greater calling to which I belong to, and now that I’ve stuck my landing and gotten to where I wanted to be in the realm of smut and sexuality? Well, it’s on to the next thing, right?




To summarize this year:

I started this year by writing poetry every single day to capture my traumatic and whimsical feelings. I’ve written well over 1,000 poems since the start and it has truly helped me find and define my emotional centers and understand my nature, and impact on others better.


Alongside poetry my writing took me swinging hardcore into Text-Based Tabletop roleplaying, so much so that I take on being paid hourly for it. I can’t express how much a dream come true that is for me! I created my Mush Mountain module back in later 2024 and then ran it repeatedly across 2025. From that one single module the campaign exploded into multiple stories and campaigns creating a woven network of stories happening in a singular world. This is the world of Dandy Toons.

Throughout the year I’ve been writing lore, abilities, objects, characters, and mechanics for Dandy Toons as something that is essentially homebrew rules for D&D 5e. I’ve done this alongside 300ish Roleplay Logs from the sessions I’ve run in Foundry VTT with over a dozen friends. I’ve had the help of my friend Butini working on something with me so we can present the roleplay logs in the coming year and share them in a way that I believe will be fun!

I’ve experimented with my art a tremendous load, thanks to Dandy Toons, and begun embracing an entirely new artistic angle, and I’ve really enjoyed that. I’ve loved learning the thrill of talking about stories and conflicts between OCs with my friends and then drawing images out of scenes and ideas together! Embracing a very fun, but also dramatically serious roleplay style has invigorated my artistic bonds and given my friends and I new ways to play and talk around our art and ideas, and the emotional memories we create with them are profoundly moving, for better and perverse! I’m really looking forward to sharing the stories in 2026!!


And here are my plans for 2026:

I expect I’m gonna produce a lot less digital art and less kink art. I’m going to reduce and constrain my usage of Clip Studio Paint, my drawing program of the last several years. I love it so much, but its time with me is ending. Version 1 is failing to work properly, and I don’t want to be on a subscription to Version 4. And I think that my willingness to use Clip Studio Paint is stopping me from using other, better programs that will fit my needs going forward: like Blender and Godot.

I really, really feel like my impulse to learn Game Dev(and anything else) is heavily held back by my inclination to lie in the realm of comfort as “King Dimmer who’s a Paper Thin Winner”. I like it too much here, doing what I do as I do. And I’d really like to constrain my 2D artistic impulses to more important projects, or to otherwise limit it entirely to me and App. So what this means is: if I take commissions in the future? It’ll entirely be YCHs, or TRADITIONAL ART, like Pyrography.

I’m getting into Crochet, it’s fun. Gonna make plushies for myself, maybe I’ll expand that. I have a keyboard and musical inclinations I’ve been neglecting. I have my pyrography tower I want to finish… I so clearly have many things I want to do, and I’m too cozy being a flat bozo all the time~ I’m never gonna leave, but I’m gonna do it different.

Anyway, that’s me.

Thanks for reading. I hope you’re all having a great holidays and a New Year, and I hope your convictions run as strong as your emotions. I hope that your determination is as strong as your dreams scream loud. I hope that your reach can clutch for those clouds and find a solid grip that will give you the next lift you need into a better chapter.