Hi everyone, best wishes.

No meme intended. I want to hear what love can mean for you in various contexts, since I use the word quite liberally, but when I think about who I love and why I love them, I feel the real meaning of "love" for me coming on.

I am aromantic, so I don't feel love for people in the romantic/"I want to date/marry you" kind of way. Thusly, I'm not interested in romantic relationships of any kind.

However, I do feel a great amount of love for people close to me, including my close friends. You can call it platonic love, since that's an apt way to describe it.

The thing about my love, though, is that it doesn't really go away... not in the sense it might for others, at least.
I've made a lot of friends over my years in the fandom, and I will readily admit that I can get easily attached to people. But I love people for more than the fact they make me happy like good friends do, I love them for who they are as an individual.

I believe deep down that humans are beautiful creatures and that we all are amazing in our own unique ways. I believe that deserves appreciation. I have an immense amount of faith in people and in humanity. And I believe that, while people can change for better or for worse, that those people are still born and made a certain way.

I've had my share of drama over the years. I've been torn up for being depressed and anxious, because my mannerisms make those friends uncomfortable. My first ex cheated on me way back in 2016. I've been groomed as a minor. I've been stalked in various corners of the community and harassed to the point of begging our mutual friends to make them stop. I've been told to do very bad things to myself. I've been ditched for very minor differences in beliefs. I've been betrayed and lied about for absolutely nothing.

These were all done to me by people I once considered deeply close to me. I am no longer friends with them nor do I dwell on our loss or yearn to have them back in my life.
But I still love them.
I don't cling on to the old memories we made. I hold them close to me and remember the good times. Even if they've turned into a person who would go so far as to cause trauma to me, my love for them as a person doesn't just fade. It's still there—maybe it's less intense, but it still hums along in my chest.

Of course, I still might disagree with their actions, their beliefs, or otherwise believe they deserve any repercussions for their actions. But I believe in justice, not vengeance.
Hate is an extremely strong word to me. I don't hate anyone in my life, even the ones who have done the worst to me. I just hate what they did to me.

None of this sits in my mind and stews, no. Only the trauma/shifts in my mental state do, but that's a given; big wounds will hurt for a long time.
But if any of these people were placed in front of me right now, I wouldn't run. I wouldn't scowl. If anything, I would probably smile. Because deep down I know that in that person is the friend I used to have. Maybe they're dormant, maybe they're still the exact same person, but life is a bitch and screws us up as individuals in many different ways.

You won't see me get on my knees and pray to have my old friends back. Instead, you'll see me bid well with warm wishes.
I think it would be wonderful to see those people who have hurt me change and be better from what they did to me. I'm not upset if they hurt me. I'm only upset if they continue to hurt others through their actions. I'd like to see them improve.

I feel this way because I believe love can solve almost all of these problems. I don't believe that a lack of love is the cause to every problem, every drama, every fight... but I believe in healing through love.
No, not the kind of love where we give hugs and kisses as a reward for others' misdoings. The kind of love where we don't hold things against our aggressors. The kind of love where we can respectfully keep our distance while having remotely positive interactions. The kind of love where we can put aside anger and hatred and instead strive for peace and resolution.

I know that this isn't everyone's policy, and I wouldn't expect most to adopt it. But it's my policy.

All it really means is that, as my friend, I will stand by you through every bump and every crack. I'm not invincible; your actions can and will hurt me. I will bend and I probably will break if you try to snap me in half. But I'm not going to let that rule the domain we share.
I will always keep faith in my friends to be the person I know they are deep down, the one they've shown to me. You're not going to break my trust by hurting me in these ways. You're just going to break my heart.

But hearts will heal, and they always will continue to until the bitter end.

I'm not going to call it some kind of unconditional love, because I'm sure that love can be broken somehow, I'm not some perfect creature who people should look up to and think like, and I'm not going to act like I am. But I will say that I carry my love for a distance and amount of time I'm sure most wouldn't for their own (valid) reasons.

I'm sure my policy isn't perfect. I'm sure it gets me into some bad situations and has possibly led to pain and heartbreak at some points. But it's a policy that makes me happy, because continuing to see the positivity in my friends and ex-friends, even when the shadow of evil tries to creep up and drown it out, makes me happy. Holding faith in the good parts of people brings me comfort in life.

I got a little long-winded there, so if you read all the way then big thanks for that. It's just one of those nights where I reminisce a bit and am curious how others feel about the same thing. :)

I'm not a perfect friend by any means. But you're always safe with me. I don't give up. And I will maintain that policy so long as I'm breathing.


Have a good rest of your evening.