I dunno if anyone is going to read this.

After a lot of stuff that happened I just had to sort of take a break from it all. I don't really know how to explain how I felt but I guess I just didnt feel like getting on or even looking at my Sona. I'll admit I have been quite flakey on second life and stuff, but this time it felt a lot different. Money that I would normally pump into commissions I pumped into other things. I just kind of lived my life I guess instead of the sort of fantasy I was trying to live through my fursona. And when my life finally caught up to this fantasy and it became reality...it just didnt have the same feel anymore because I was living my truth. The whole thing about my parents accepting me was just wish fullfillment perpetuated through this fantasy I built for myself (I am sorry for lying about that). It was a lot worse.

It took years for my mom to come around. My parents finally came to visit me for christmas. They are coming to see me again this year. I felt pretty guilty for perpetuating lies and a false narrative of what my real life was like. This dream and wish I had and it just felt like I was lying. So everytime I looked at my Sona I felt that guilt. Serina Franizzi was made to escape and create a fantasy world where I am pretty and accepted. Only when I started living my life and my truth did I start to feel good about myself. When I started to pass (I did not lie about being trans) did I begin to feel great. I felt like the fantasy was no longer needed anymore and it just reminded me of a lot of icky things.

I am only now starting to feel comfortable. I am happy and engaged. I have a good life. I am thinking about returning to this, but not really sure what to do. So I hope you will all give me a little patience. If I avoided you by not responding or ghosting, please understand I was just trying to distance myself from...well my sona and any memories attached to it. I will start trying to keep in touch.