HUNTIN' FOR PEOPLE TO LOVIN' CATCH RATHER NON-EXCISTANT.

Pan-Af

It has been a frevelious couple of weeks for Mr Redante as yet another mate has dropped him for another. sick tired of waiting for people to knock on his door, the sand dragon sets out to find the one, but how is his quest going so far? We asked him onboard of a ship on the ocean named 'looking'

"Hopeless, either they are taken, or too young, or too old. I'd like someone who is more like me.. and who is single ofcourse. that helps." The Dragon stated as he looked out on the horizon.

Further news from the Sand dragon has let us know 'not to worry, it'll be alright, but if anyone happens to be intrested...you know where to find me'


NEW RECORD ATTEMPT BY YEONEN, CROSSING THE MAIN BY TRICYCLE? "THE MAN HAS GONE BELLS."

A Yeonen from Arberdeenshire has recently announced to try and cross the channel on his heavily modified tricycle, which now features a 700 foot long hull, forty-seven luxiourious cabins and a twin heavy duty diesel engine. he is said to leave shore at the Newshire port, cruise-dock. and is expected to make an two day journey to the other side in just 24 hours. We wish him good luck!

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OTHER NEWS

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RECORD BREAKER BROKE MORE THEN THAT, TRACK MANAGMENT WOULD LIKE COMPENSATION. Pg - 2

HEAVILY POLLUTED AIR CLEAN! FLUSH THE TOILET MORE OFTEN, SAYS LOCAL PLUMBER. Pg - 3, 4

NEW SET OF LINGERY ON THE MARKET: INVISI-WEAR! NOT FOR PEOPLE WITH SHINEY CLAWS OR ACROBATS. Pg - 5,6

SPORTS: BALLSY BALL-JUGGELERY WINS THE MATCH! 344-324 UDE VS FC SALIN. Pg SPORTS

ECONOMY: TWATY PRECENT DOWN. Pg ECONOMY

RAILROAD FINISHED: "IT WAS A BLOODY MONORAIL YOU IDIOTS!" Pg - 9

THE TRAIDS MONTY PHYTON OF ADRIANIAN? LAUGH BUT TRUE. Pg - 10

NEW COMPANY ESTABLISHED, FORGOT THE NAME. Pg - 11, 12, 13