I mean that rather Digitally.
I have a few things that I want to get off my chest. No particular reason, I just want it out, judge me however you wish.
If you've seen my gallery, you've noticed that it's got more than a dozen images and... only gifts.
Yes, there is not a single "Commission" in my gallery, all gifts from my friends.
Now I'm sure some of y'all are thinking "Wow, what a freeloader, didn't pay a single dime and 13 images in their gallery?!", well, here's why: I live in Iran.
That is no surprise to anyone who knows me here, hell, I even have an icon of it on my profile, but one thing that most people don't know is that Iran has a lot of sanctions, basically a penalty if we don't comply with other countries, now what does that have to do with anything? Well, Iran has gained a LOT of sanctions from 99% of the planet for being the embodiment of arrogance, one of which is "Being forbidden from sending and receiving money from outside of the country".
Meaning, my country literally lacks the ability to pay for ANYTHING that comes from outside of Iran, everything we have is either from the few countries that still have business with us or it's smuggled.
And where it really shines is with digital goods, any application you can think of? Pirated.
Movies? Pirated.
Games? Pirated.
Yes, me and my whole country are technically criminals, but we literally have no choice, we CAN'T pay for it.
We have the option of paying the movie/game stores, but even they have to download it illegally,
so, our options are either
A: Pirate it.
B: Pay someone to pirate it for you.
We have no excuse but the fact that our hands are tied.
I've played a lot of games and have paid for none.

Now, why am I saying any of this?
Well, out of guilt.
Y'see, over the few years that I've been here, I've Watched a lot of users and they have a tendency to journal their watchers with life updates, nothing new, really.
However, I see some people going through some emotional times and I just... ignore them.
A loved one is sick, they're gonna be evicted soon, it's their birthday, they got married and what do I do? Just give my condolences or congratulate them? Or do I just say nothing and seem like a heartless jerk who ignores them at their harshest times?
I WANT to send them money, I see the "Shiny" option I think to myself "I wish I could give them a couple of bucks.", because here's the thing, I am rich over here!
I have about 11.9 million Rials in my bank account, but I can't send a single dime to my friends!
One thing I really hate is being able to help, but someone else stops me. My entire country stops me from helping people out financially when they need it.
One of my friends here has to work 24/7 just to pay his rent and another wants to find medicine for her pet horse! And I can't do jack shit!
I feel pathetic.
I know I'm technically not guilty, but I look myself in the mirror and all I see is someone who doesn't deserve friends, this bitch can't even spare 1/1000th of the fortune for their friends' hard work.
Every time one of my friends gives me a gift, I give them minimal instructions, I don't want to be demanding at all when they're giving me this privilege.
"Just put it on the side, work on it whenever you want."
"Gender? Oh, whichever's easier for you to draw."
"Take your time, I'm not in a hurry."
Afterwards, I use every gratitudinal compliment in the English Dictionary.

I still don't feel like I deserve them.
I've made it one of my life goals to finally get out of this prison of a country and help my friends, pay their rent, help their pets, go to a convention with a certain one of them, they need comfort and I want to give it to them.
It's definitely one hell of a challenge, but I WILL do it.
I will get out of here, I will help my friends and I will... CONSIDER paying for games from then on. xD
Yeah, I'm still kinda cheap on that department, but I really want to help my friends.

So, yeah, I wanted to get that off my chest.
There's a chance I will receive a well-deserved backlash for this, but oh well.
I love you all, and I am sorry that I cannot help you beyond texts.