DRAWING IS EFFIN' HARD!!!!!

OK, since my last journal post, I've been making my most conscious effort in years to actually put on my big boy pants, pick up my pad and pencil, and start drawing again. I figured just dust off the old 'How-To' books, maybe pick up another one, get a box of No. 2 pencils and I'll bang out a fursona pic in a day or two. Yeah... about that.

Seems like the skills I had back when I was 14 didn't just hibernate and wait for me to tap into them again. Oh nah, nah, nah... They packed up and got the hell outta Dodge. Lack of encouragement and the feeling like my skills would never amount to nothing made me put down my drawing pad for what I thought was for good. So basically, at 29, I have to learn to draw all over again!!! That realization, and all it entails, is one gigantic kick in the balls. And as for my first few attempts at making a decent fursona pic? HA! Never gonna see the light of day! Those pages are torn out, dipped in kerosene, burned to ash, the ashes mixed into wet concrete, made into a large ball, and tossed into the deepest part of the coldest lake in the state.

I have to admit, I didn't do ANYTHING creative for days after my last post. I instantly fell into that deep hole of depression and negative thoughts.

"Oh, GOD! I'll never be as good as Wolfy Nail or Jay Naylor or Kadath or Freckles !!! No character I could ever create will ever be as popular as Jack the Reaper or Fisk or Puzzle or Zig-Zag!!! I MUST BE A TERRIBLE PERSON!!!"

Yeah... that kind of thinking is poison an artist. Especially new ones. Not going to lie, I considered deleting this account and just going back to spectating the fandom again. Until I mentioned that to a non-furry artist friend of mine. I almost got smacked. Trust me, critters, this guy knows his shit. I once saw him draw Conan the Barbarian in INK, standing in the rain and holding his sword to the sky on a lunchroom NAPKIN. And it was so easy for him, he just blew his nose in it and tossed it in the trash. He asked me a question the other day that hit me like a slug to the chest.

'Everyday you neglect your art, it will neglect you for 2. How long have you been neglecting your art?'

A bit confused? Basically, it means that for every time you hold back, every time you let your skills slip and don't polish them, don't push them and stop learning, you are doing yourself a GREAT disservice. After that, I decided to keep my FA page. Not only that, but I decided to dedicate at least an hour a day to studying new methods and recovering all my art skill. So, dear reader, I make to you this promise:

I PROMISE TO SUCK ASS AT DRAWING, FOR AT LEAST A YEAR!

NOBODY starts out drawing like Jack Kirby or Todd McFarlane. And nobody should expect to just jump into making masterpieces after a long period of not picking up a drawing tool. Thinking otherwise is the recipe for a quick death for your career as an artist. SO what am I going to do? I'm going to take a good hard look at a lot of my favorite pieces of art. I'm getting a few How-To books, not just about furry, but about different style I never even considered before. I'm going to not expect much of myself for a long time, knowing that every time I put pencil to paper... I'll be improving. I'll be honing those skills I've let fall into a comatose to bring them back to life.

I just wanted to get that out, critters. I know there's a lot of struggling artists out there, and a lot of artists who hope to be good enough to show their stuff someday. And plenty of artists who WANT to be artists, but are too afraid to even pick up their No. 2 and start. My honest advice?

Start. And don't stop. Ever. You don't stat driving like Dale Earnhardt your first day of Driver's Ed. You don't swim like Michael Phelps your first time in the deep end. And you won't put out art like your favorite artist your first time with a sketch pad. Keep trying, keep working. And don't worry if anyone tell you that you're not good enough. Agree with them, in fact.

"You're right. I'm NOT good enough. At least, not yet."