It's been 2 years since I updated my last journal. Im not very active online the way I used to be I just kinda scream into the void on bsky and otherwise keep to myself. This is probably going to be kind of a bummer but I don't really know how many of my friends are still active here. Sorry to those I've lost touch with I hope all is well despite the state of the world. I am mostly keeping it together things are at least steady in terms of my family's ability to get by.

Currently I'm conflicted on the state of my online presence and the art I have documented online. Unfortunately over the past few years I have slowly been reducing my online presence both because I need to for my mental health but also because my mom was stalking me online. During quarantine my mom outed me to my grandparents I guess in an attempt to idk disown me? Im not rly sure what her end goal was. After my spouse and I got our house she threatened me multiple times and I went no contact. After I did that she continued to try to distance me and my family by finding my online accounts and showing people my furry NSFW to prove what an evil pervert I am because I must be fucking animals if Im drawing this kind of filth. I am very very grateful that my grandma didnt buy into this. My grandma and I have had difficulties in the past and there are still things we do not agree on but she was able to see something was wrong with the way my mom was trying to paint me as some kind of irredeemable villain.

It's hard for me but because of all of this Ive stopped really posting any of my NSFW art online and Ive thought a lot about deleting what I have up right now. I wish I didnt feel this way because I really like having my art online regardless of content and quality because I like having multiple homes for all my art. If something ever happens to a hard drive or if another site goes down I have my art somewhere so I can save it again and keep it.

I lost my house as a teenager and most of my possessions couldn't be saved. Theres so much childhood art I wish I could look back on and I deleted my old devianart account before it happened so its just gone now. I am probably overly attached but its just made me really averse to deleting stuff. If I do delete all my NSFW I dont know if Ill repost it but will probably just have to back it all up and keep it stored so I have it. If I ever take commissions again NSFW will still be allowed I just won't post the comm.

Sorry like I said this was kind of a bummer but I felt somewhat nostalgic unloading my thoughts on a gallery journal. If I go through with the purge I'll post another journal saying so ig. ILU BYE BYE