Not much happening. Just dealing with the typical family and self health issues. As soon as I got started drawing again I had to take my aunt to the hospital. She's in really bad shape, same as the uncle I've been caring for. They're okay but he had to be admitted to an old folks home and I think she's next.

Recently myself been quitting a medication that caused me to go nearly 3 weeks with the worst insomnia I've ever had. I think I've slept maybe 8 hours total the whole time. Caused me to fuck up and drink heavy again because nothing else seemed to get me to fall asleep...but of course because I have a hard time with alcohol, I drank for 4 days. I'm fine now but I blackout when I drink and go into this like auto pilot mode where I do stupid shit, lie, say awful things, etc; it's like someone else takes over. According to my doctor, I have what can be described as "Jekyl and Hyde syndrome" (I forgot the real name) where my brain chemistry flips and I go from being a generally nice guy to a monster. It's been a challenge to live with. Struggled with alcohol for 15 years but as soon as I started ADHD medication I've had a lot more control. It went from 5 days a week of blackout drunk (I barely recall that time) to 1-2 times a year. I've been under a lot of stress lately so it's understandable I slipped up. The only reason I openly talk about it is because I want others to see just how bad alcohol can be and hopefully prevent them from doing the same. Also it may help some who are struggling to get tested for ADHD.

Did quit smoking though; that went a lot easier. XD Also looking forward to having a job again after 3 years. I quit to take care of my family members (who in return moved in and payed my bills) but that's been really exhausting. Found a place that makes electronics which is right up my alley. Pays good too. It's been hard finding work when you haven't been employed for 3 years; companies get very confused until you explain it.

Sometimes because I don't know what to write here I just put my stream of consciousness and hit post just to clear old journals.

I know i'm an open book. A weird one, but it's kinda my trademark. I don't care what people know about me. I own up to all of it. If local people know about me, who cares if the world knows?