The two stories last journal are frozen a bit with work going along.

I'm maybe an hour in to finding out my Dad passed in the hospital, already in rough shape. I...

Right now I don't know what to do with myself on that news. Already missing those closest to me and there is even less around. Feeling like a shell of my former self, missing what makes me, me. The emptiness, the nightmares, the words I fumbled over and beating myself up...

Do I keep going? Should I, on the face of a world that has become so cold in the last few years? What hope is there left to reflect on this soul? Any good news would be great, but damned if I know if I will get any. Or deserve any.

Never stopped writing. If an audience of 100, 13, one, or just me, that's been constant. Wish I had more to show for it, I suppose.

https://gofund.me/85aee1e44
Past the funeral I deleted my post of the gofundme. Without insurance, us brothers had to pool together cash to pay. At this point there is 2k left of costs and people still donating, so leaving this up if someone wanted to. Buh, thanks for everyone who donated for his sake. All of this is hard.