Alright, I'm going to rant, so if you don't want to read, I understand. A-hem.

Last december, my mother and my step-father of 13 years got a divorce. No problem with me there, really. He was a jerk, and I was very glad to see him go. I was pretty happy with the arrangement, until I found out that he was taking the dogs with him. That crushed me. I loved my dogs way too much, and to suddenly have them snatched away from me left me extremely empty and hollow inside.

I didn't say anything to my mom for a long time, because I figured that the divorce was hard for her, and I didn't want to make it harder by being a whiner. So I bottled it up, crying only when I was safe in my room at night or when I was outside by myself. Every time I saw someone walking a dog or playing with a dog, I burst into tears. Still do, actually.

Well, three days ago, mom surprised me by coming home on her break from work. I was surprised (and embarassed) because I had seen my neighbors playing with their dogs and I was sobbing pretty hard. When mom asked me what's wrong, I spilled my guts, about how I was getting really depressed, about how I cried every night, and all that stuff, ending with "And I just really want a dog, mom. Can I please go to the pound and at least look at a some? Please?" Now, I'm 19 years old, and I've never begged for anything in my life, especially not a dog. I was seriously begging, pleading, and still crying hard.

She looked surprised, and then said "I'm sorry that you're sad, but a dog will ruin the carpet." And then she got up and left for work again, leaving me staring after her, devestated.

So yeah, I guess I'm worth less than the carpet in our living room. That's a nice thing to find out, isn't it? After I just spent months being depressed secretly so I wouldn't make her worry about me. And I know, the minute I say anything about the situation, she'll get mad at me for brining it up again and 'starting this fight again'. Like I've started it so many times before *rolls eyes*

So I'm more than a little depressed and angry right now, which is extremely unusual. If I'm anything other than happy and chatty, people ask me if I'm sick or feeling alright.

Any opinions on how to bring this back up to my mom? Like, maybe to plead my case a little more? She can see I'm depressed, and has asked me frequently if I'm feeling all right, but she refuses to do the one thing that will fix it because 'it'll ruin the carpet'. It's not like I'll even be in the house very long. I'm moving out in less than a year, and if I get a dog from the humane society, chances are it'll already be house broken, fixed, and updated with shots. And I'd pay for all the supplies needed to care for it, of course. *sigh*

End of rant. You may browse in peace again ^_^