Blaraghhh sorry its been so stupidly long since I've updated. I wouldn't be surprised if anyone's unwatched me by now.

Been spending most time trying to fight off anxieties I've been getting and its been preventing me from posting here and some other places.

STUPID. I KNOW. But true. >T

I just get terribly afraid of getting people upset due to dumb mistakes I made in the past and its been hindering me from talking to my peeps, most of them anyway. Or fearing my peeps eventually turning against me in general or some awful thoughts like that. As much as I miss talking to them all.(Guess I've been listening to/watching too many dramas/soaps) I also have a bad habit of taking things too personally but I'm just emotional dummy like that BLUH...

Anyway, I really need to move on since whatever past blunders made were AGES back but I dwell on things far too much its unreal. I feel I'm really dense and scatterbrained all the time but I don't mean any harm. I'm just terribly clueless sometimes and have a bad habit of fading away from others when I feel as though I made a royal screw up and had them think less of me.

Through time I have been getting a little better with a few peeps but its not quite enough! I just need to make myself feel completely comfortable around you guys again.(or more comfortable at least)

So, yeah, I apologise greatly to anyone who's been trying to get a hold of me 'cause I've been too much of a wimp to look at comments/notes etc. I also apologise for this ridiculous journal but I needed to get my word out in case you guys were thinking I was a jerk for not saying anything to almost anyone for the longest time. Or if anyone got concerned. I'm really not one to express my BAD FEELS to the net so I normally keep them to myself. ;c

Moving on from the emotional windbaggery.

I've still been drawing all throughout this time and working a little more in trying to improve. I've been putting all my stuff up on my tumblr. http://parushine.tumblr.com But I'll hopefully be crossing over stuff from there to here. Not everything but the more recent stuff I like.~

I've also been getting INTO HOMESTUCK PRETTY HARD (still far behind though soobbb) and I've been in fanart mode so I might do those if anybody here would be interested since I figured it may even be popular on this site but I haven't been looking. @ @;

But back to the main point that I'm sorry again if anyone got worried/concerned/wants to bite my head clean off about me not being around and I missed you all very terribly... > <

Pretty likely that I'll feel dumb in the morning for posting this but again, I want you guys to know
as feelings shouldn't be bottled up. Though, I hope I don't have to make such a 'weh weh' journal
again in future...I just want to show art and be happy! And I'm pretty sure you guys don't want to see me all 'WOE IS ME.' all the time.


TL;DR Shiney/Paru needs to man up and grow a pair.


I really hope everyone's been well, though. Its been so long and I now feel extremely out of the loop! 6 - 9;;