A long time ago, I made a mistake. I took something said the wrong way and I turned to someone else for what I thought I wanted. I became involved with Roger after assuring multiple people, including Norn, that I was reliable and could be trusted with their feelings and the wellbeing of the social environment I'd created at the school my character was an important figure at. I entered a relationship with my character out of loneliness and as a result I imploded that social environment and was removed from that position. I wasn't aware of what was happening with him in that timeframe at the school, or I was willfully ignorant to the abuses and OOC rumormongering taking place, and if I had known it would have gone differently and I would have broken things off sooner. He was being a creep to people I valued, Norn specifically, and I didn't see what was happening. I hurt the feelings and the trust of Norn and Virakev and Rala and everyone who relied on me by being controlling and manipulative, not facing my mistakes and making amends, and trying to shield him from the fallout of my problems for years. I kept Norn especially from being able to trust me anymore. When she confronted me about it I side-talked about her to others out of a misplaced sense of defensiveness, ruining her own social circle when they were forced to take sides which ruined things for her as well. It was a place she never should have been put into. I shouldn't have done that, he wasn't worth the time and the energy that I spent on trying to keep anyone from being hurt. By doing that I betrayed people I never should have. If I had the choice again I wouldn't have gone to him, it was only a temporary solution to my own shortcomings and it wasn't worth that effort. I exposed her to abusive people like him and I should have protected her. It was a mistake as a whole and an attempt at some kind of 'normalcy' that I knew he couldn't provide, but it was a mistake to try with him. He crept around with people I valued, harassed others and I tried to cover things up or apologize on behalf of those issues. I promised Norn especially that they'd always have a special place with Annamaria. That there would be an important adoption storyline to make up for me messing things up and I made a big deal about it, and when things got hard I became selfish and pursued my own goals over working harder to improve what I had in that time. I was emotionally abusive, manipulative, selfish and avoidant and it's going to be a long time before I feel like I'm worth that position again, if ever. I despise that I turned to someone like that for comfort. I should have taken hold of my actions and been mature. As such I haven't been able to move forward in my life emotionally from that place and it drags on me every day, and I want to make a public accounting of what happened. I want to make it better for the people I messed up. I'm working on that and I hope I'm doing better.