I hate my father. I could fill a book with how terrible he is.
But I pretended to love him to get money from him.
My entire childhood, I was raised by fear of him.
But this isn't about that.

"I missed my mom's final performance"
Back when I worked at Johnny Brusco's Pizza, my mother was going to do a final performance before her retirement.
My mom is a music teacher at high school. Long ago, she asked her students what video game has the best music. They voted on Final Fantasy VII. So my mom went online, found sheet music from the game, uploaded it to her music creation program, and reworked it into something high school students could play.
Here's the result: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCeuiyejDVw&t [skip to 2:00 to skip her speech] This was back in 2008.
Fast forward to her retirement performance, communicating with her students, she found and reworked music from several games for her students to play. Everyone was excited, As she also asked her students to cosplay! My mom did that too, dressing up as her favorite game: Tetris!

And I missed it. I had to stay at work and wash dishes and clean the store or I would be fired. And if I didn't have a job, my dad would throw me out and I'd be homeless. 100% of people tell me I should have left anyway and gone to the performance, but I let fear of being homeless get the better of me.

Because I'm Stupid.


"Tim stole $10,000 from me"
Back when I was living in dad's basement [unhappily] My friend Tim invited me to move into his apartment and be roommates. Desperate to escape my dad's basement, I accepted, having saved up about $8000. He said rent for me would be about $200/mo. I can do that.
Every month he needed $1,000, spinning tales about late fees for bills that didn't exist. For a year, I was giving him $1,000 a month.

He didn't STEAL money from me, I GAVE the money to him. Now I'm broke, living paycheck to paycheck.

Because I'm stupid.


"I don't want this car"
Dad HATED my 2012 Toyota Yaris. Because it has 250,000 miles. And it's still going strong. But it needs about $1600 in repairs from taking damage.
So dad gives me (Or a more likely story, bullies his wife into giving me) My stepmom's old 2009 Ford Fusion, with 100,000 miles, as she's getting a new car. I drove it for a while, it handled like a boat, and for a mid-size sedan got an ABYSMAL 20 miles per gallon, and with a GARGANTUAN fuel tank, it took me $100 a WEEK just to keep the damn thing fueled up to do my job of pizza delivery. I told my dad and stepmom such and he SCREAMED and RAGED at me for being so ungrateful. "If you don't like it, Sell it!" So I did. Good lord that pissed him off.
I'd had it. I dropped the bomb. I don't need his fucking money anymore; I told him everything. How much I fucking hate him. How I hated him sense I was 8 years old. His constant abuse, his inability control his temper, his blowing his stack over trivial things, that's why I hated living with him, That's why mom divorced him, That's why my older sister lives with mom.

So after that in a desperate attempt to win me back, every birthday and Christmas he sends me a card saying how much he loves me with a check for $500.
I told him to stop sending me money, I don't need his fucking money anymore, and I don't need HIM, Deleting a free source of $500 every birthday and Christmas.

Because I'm Stupid.


"Selling a car"
As for selling the car, one of my co-workers desperately needed a car. So I sold the $5,000 car to him for $2000. My car needed repairs, so if he paid to get my Yaris repaired, he can pay off the remaining difference. After $1,700, he still owed me $300. He managed to pay $120 of it. The rest he traded for favors and doing my chores at work to pay off the difference, Robbing myself of $3,000.

Because I'm Stupid.


"Destroyed Yaris"
Sometime later, some asshole ran into me, destroying Yaris. My insurance pays me $1,000 for a car that had 300,000 miles on it and was burning oil. They get away scot-free, So much for liability only. Fuck you, State Farm.
For a month I had to use a rental and work in-store [I hate cooking pizza] because I can't deliver pizza in a rental car. After lots of searching, My boss says his uncle is selling a Honda Fit with 20,000 miles for $4,500. Turns out it was a Honda Fit with 200,000 miles. And I paid $4,500 for a $1,000 car because the rental was hoovering up what little money I had left, meanwhile my stepdad found a Yaris for $12,000, but it was probably in a much lower value state, like the Fit.

Because I'm Stupid.


And to top it all off, I've been delivering pizza for years. Papa Johns, Pizza Hut, Mafia Mike's, Johnny Brusco's, Gambino's, and now Sarpino's. And I still make mistakes delivering pizza. Wrong address, forgotten drink, forgotten, dessert, and I seem to be getting WORSE at my job!? I'll take a delivery and return the Store, forgetting I have a second delivery in my car already! Now that second delivery is late!

BECAUSE I'M STUPID.


I realized I'm a bitter old man blaming everyone and everything but myself for my own damn mistakes.
They say "Live and Learn", well, Seems I'm not learning anything, so maybe I've lived long enough.

Because I'm too damn stupid.
Not retarded,
STUPID.