I feel like every fourth journal is me apologizing for never being online. Hopefully this will be my last hiatus for a while

Life has hit me pretty hard this last year. I've been living of campus and away from family for about a year now, and things are finally stable... ish. Six months ago, I made a lifechanging discovery: I am not, in fact, bisexual. I'm gay. Queer as a three dollar bill. Long story short, I began recalling long-repressed memories of my childhood and early adolescence, the details of which I'd prefer not to discuss, and realized that the reason I always tended to lean more towards men and the reason my relationship with my girlfriend was difficult and felt unnatural was because I'm honestly not attracted to women. I guess I was just subconsciously trying not to be gay to win the approval of... well, I'd rather not say who. I guess being closeted bi felt like a decent compromise.

My now ex-girlfriend has been incredibly supportive and kind, and we have parted as very close friends, which I'm grateful for. I came out to my mom just before Christmas, and she agrees that she and I should warn the rest of the family up to the idea before I come out to them. Most of my friends know, and some of my coworkers at Target, but I haven't announced it on any form of social media, and next to nobody at my school knows.

So I guess this is my first time coming out to a group of people all at once. Not a very large one, but a group nonetheless. I just felt like I needed to have some aspect of my life where I can be out in full, some sub-cultural fragment of who I am that doesn't have to hide or lie. I'm not ready for the world to know, but I'm not willing to keep it a secret. So this is me, officially stating in some social medium, that I am gay, and proud of who I am.

Sorry if this got overly personal or ranty, I just wanted it off of my chest. I love all of you beautiful people.

-Marrok