Good Evening FA. I am writing this journal quite late into the night so I only plan to be brief, I promise.

So lately I have been wondering where my place is within this Fandom, struggling to find myself amongst so many creatives I view and interact with online. (Although, don't take this the wrong way. I am not leaving this highly creative Fandom I adore!) It would be for this reason that I haven't posted much here on my account, both art or journals. Perhaps my searching for meaning here is restricting my creative flow. I need to go about this differently moving through 2020. I will be sure to elaborate further in the months to come.

On a positive note. Over the last year I felt like I had excelled growing more as a social person. My plan now for 2020 is to find more about who I want to be, who I am and my career goals for later life. Referencing my previous journal you can read how the struggle has interfered with my Art too. I do have a bunch of ideas in my head I would love to put to paper honest, but, I feel like before I can go ahead with any artwork I need to first discover "me". A broad topic. Whether that be in the form of my interests, Sexuality, art direction or just general personality; I have so much I need to learn about myself. Growing up I rarely explored anything about "me" instead often just affixing towards pre-defined goals, never diverting to experiment. So many useful questions left unanswered that could have been a huge benefit to my career skipped or ignored outright, leaving its apparent bad influence throughout my many artworks; come to think of it, perhaps that's why I can't finish anything... huh.

So in 2020 I plan so much more. Even if you don't see it right away on FA or my twitter, in the background know that every day I am trying to learn more about myself.

So until the next journal, I will sigh off for the night.

Lp