The other night, My dad went on a rampage on my brother and then took the rest of his anger out on me and my sister, He said some things I'd not like to repeat but It realy depressed me. I was just lying in my bed for about 30 minutes with things rushing through my mind from Sadness to anger to suicide thoughts. But I decided to text my friend shawn. Heres the conversation.

Me: Shawn. Tell me. Whats the reason worth living if your only loved ones dont love you anymore?
Shawn: R u Depressed and I take it u told your mom ur bi.
Me: No. My dad let me have it and said i'm not trusted or loved by him anymore. So i truely find no reason to live anymore.
Shawn: Dont (F-Bomb #3) kill yourself!
Me: Nobody knows im bi yet. But if i dont come to school. I've committed suicide. Why? Because im not loved by anyone anymore. So whats the sense in that?
Shawn: So what are they mad about if you didnt tell them your bi.
Me: My dad says i'm untrusted and unloved by both of them and i'm a complete mess and unfit for society and hes supprised i've lived this long without getting the shit get kicked out of me.
Shawn: So why are you untrusted?
Me: I have no (F-Bomb) clue!
Shawn: Wow he randomly said that and you didnt tell him or your mom your bi.
Me:No. And I'm still telling them. If he thinks i'm holding somthing that big in he may yell at me more. I'm so (F-Bomb #2) Scared.
Shawn:Your mom still loves you and your brother and sister you guys are hr life.
Me:...
Shawn:My mom is worried now because you started txting me during Homework and she wants to know if she can do anything to help.
Me: No this is a family probalem, sorry for bugging you.
Shawn:Your not bugging me. Did somthing happen when you got home. Not trying to make a joke but could your dad be a little drunk?
Me: My dad dosnt drink. And this happened like 20 minutes ago.
Shawn:And you realy have no idea why you cant be trusted.
Me: No. He says i'm a mess and untrustable.
Shawn:You didnt murder your sister did you?
Me: No
Shawn:Its always darkes before the dawn tomaro may be the best day of your life but you have to be around to experience it. You cant loose hope.
Me: I already have.
Shawn:Screw your dad I know that you couldnt have dont anything to make your mom to turn against you.
Me: Well my dad has never lied to me about that. So i just feel realyemp right now. And I just want to run away from this life but where would I go is the question.
Shawn:If you off yourself you go to hell acording to the bible. Try expressing how you feel like writing a song or somthing.
Me: I'd rather not.
Shawn:Well I'm just giving sugestions. To help you through this.
Me: Well I appriciate it.
Shawn:Do you have any pets
Me: Yea a dog.
Shawn:Im sure your dog still loves you
Me: He only wants food from me.
Shawn:Wow my dog still loves you
Me: Your dog has never met me!
Shawn:My dog loves everybody. If a rober broke in, he'd lick them to death
Me: Remind me to rob your house one day.
Shawn:Lolz see she loves you already.
Me: Still. If I do get kicked out. I'd rather die than leave my own house.
Shawn: *Sends me msg with song*
Me: Wow...
Shawn:So do you feel better or worse?
Me: I dont exactly know
Shawn:It has that effect on people
Me: I'm so confused right now
Shawn:about what?
Me: Life shawn life
Shawn:Life is scary
Me:That it is
Shawn:People think theyre scared of death but there realy scared of life
Me: Ya
Shawn:But you need to choncer your fears
Me:I guess
Shawn:No its the scaryest thing anyone can do and you have to.
Me: And I dont know how.
Shawn: talk to them. Ask what you did and how you can fix it.
Me: which is the problem.
Shawn: Talking is the hardest part.
Me: My mom is coming home soon. I'll ask her
Me: I'm to scared to talk to my dad. Hes in a bad enough mood already.
Shawn:...
Me: Exactly. And telling her the next part will be even harder.
Shawn:The Bi thing?
Me: Bingo
Shawn: Was his namo
Me: Ya ya

And thats where our conversation ended. He realy helped me with this. But i'm still realy depressed, I mean it helped, But i'm just so confused with everything right now...

~KyleTheFoxx