So recently, my ex and I have been getting into a lot of confrontations.

I won't say who this person is, but after I asked him to keep something between us, he told pretty much everyone (because he felt the need to, I guess), apologized multiple times, I threatened him (what else are you suppose to do when asking doesn't work?)because it could have possibly ruined my most precious relationship with the man I love because he can't keep his ignorant bitch mouth fucking shut, and now I'm getting evil and cold looks from everyone.

After I told him that if my boyfriend now finds out, and that if he breaks up with me, (I didn't say this directly, I said "I'll come to you first" and "I'll seek you out") I would break his neck with my hands. And possibly a very, very dull axe.

So when I THOUGHT THIS WAS OVER, I came home to a blackmail message. He called me a bitch, sassy, ignorant, and rude and that I shouldn't go around threatening people if I have no way to back it up. And that if I'm going to pretend to be an adult, I need to pretend to act like one and not just say it. And that if I ever threaten him again, that he'll tell everyone and not give a fuck.

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So you guys, I want to say this, and this only: I am not an evil, bitchy, rude, crass, ugly, cold-hearted person like people think. Yeah, I get defensive easily and over think things and worry and I'm depressed and anxious a lot because I'm battling it. I truly am. A lot, lot, LOT of high school students say those things, but I wanna be sincere. I'm just a 'realist', as people say. I try and see the logical, but positive sides of situations. And though I'm only 18, I try to handle the toughest of situations in an adult-like manner. But I lost it in this case. Because I've lost a lot of people dear to me, for reasons I couldn't control, I feel very affectionate for my friends and family, and especially the person I'm with as a personal relationship.

With that being said, a lot of people come to me for relationship advice, work advice (dealing with bosses/co-workers), friends, and family. I'm not trying to sound important, but they seek me out directly. I'm literally put on this earth, living and breathing, to help those I care for. I want to do nothing else besides be there for other people.

Am I shaming the guy who blackmailed me because he's a good, genuine person. All he was doing really was standing up for himself. And that's in no way a bad thing. But when it comes to insulting me, and possibly sabotaging my relationship with anyone, I'm gonna put my fists up. He deserves happiness, but I do too.

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So to anyone else who has been in this situation or have depression/anxiety like I do, I wanna connect with you and make sure that you guys are okay, too. So, my notes are always there and I'm online a lot. And since I talked to my boyfriend about it, he completely understands and we're together and still as happy as ever. And everyone deserves love, and it's the best feeling in the world to share the love in your heart with someone you care for. But if you're ever in a bind or having problems at school or at home...I am here. Truthfully and completely. I am a real person, with real problems too. I keep things confidential, always. One hundred percent. I just hate the feeling of being broken and alone, and I don't think anyone should feel that way.

The bottom line is, whoever reads this, I'm here for you. And please, don't hesitate to send me a note at any time.
I love you guys.