You know the hard thing about breaking up with some is the feeling of guilt and remorse after words . Then the getting use to the fact after you sever that tie you realize you're alone . Sure you have friends and family , but you're alone cause now you have a hole in your very center . The very center of your world is now empty . I guess it really depends on how thjngs end . But if its just cause your can't the stress or the complications of the daily life with the other person you talked feel alienated from all things around you . You go on trying to live your life but that feeling stills tugs at you lkke you're missing something at your very core . Its easier said than done trying to walk away from from someone who loves you and tries to make you happy . I guess throw some insecurities and daddy issues andmyou get what I've kinda walked into . Tryjng to drown myself in my art work and music only does so much . Especially when you have to stil, live in the home as they do . No one man is island but damn does sure feel like it . I think I've just alienated myself from everyone . Im trying to get back to a place i wasmbefore with myself and the more I try to find that center again . The more I find myself alone in the dark . Most the days following the break up has been really hit and miss . It hurts when you feel like you can't talk or explain your complete reasoning for taking the action you did . Especially when every explanation is met with some form of turn around , or misconception of being right or wrong . I mean how do you try tk twll someone everything that weights down your heart ? I hate either playing the villian or the victim . But I guess no matter what the role you play is casted on you by the other side . My mind works in different ways than other people's . And because of this I find myself constantly misunderstood for my actions or ridiculed for the decisions I make . I wonder if this is how some of the greats in history felt ? I've known I've been a bit odd or crazy . Shit I know if I just opened my mouth in front of the right people I would be carried off to the asylum for I hear and see . I constantly battle with my inner demons and always find myself in stalemate . You end up seeing the world for what it really is through a mad mans eyes . All of the beauty and all of the nightmares that we unknowingly walk by and ignore . We're to the point we just except what we see and never ask or say anything . And those who do are marked radicals and crazy people . Having the knowledge of whats right and wrong is dkctated on how we decide to live . Yet we're always fighting and competing against each other that we do not see what could really be accomplished through co existing with one another ........I think I need to go see a shrink about some of shit . I mean really open up cause this crap is tearing me apart ....