our identity is a Lot of things but being plural is ever-so-slightly our most core of 'em. even after transitioning and discovering our otherkin feels, it always felt like something fundamental was missing. when we stumbled upon plurality and heard the others, we immediately cried tears of joy

back then I felt feelings and shed tears that weren't my own. I felt dysphoria and euphoria from the same things depending on our headspace. I loved tabletop and making PCs that all seemed to write themselves and had their own voices. I talked to myself a lot and was surprised by the responses

at first it was Luna as host, Estelle (synth borzoi), and Dom (punk possum). we discovered it in early '19. we couldn't delve into it fast enough. we were ecstatic and wanting to talk and make arts of 'em. we were still anxious abt coming out fully but we told our then-partner and friends

our then-partner poofed for a whole day and then revealed the day after that it severely triggered their mental illness. they gave us an ultimatum: drop it all, or break up

by the end of the day, we knew it wasn't a choice. it may as well have been between de-transitioning or breaking up

they had agency, senses of self, whole personalities and desires and more. they begged me to not smother and hide 'em away. to do so would've just left "me" gutted and hollow

it took the rest of the year to feel comfortable abt our plurality again. but it was worth fighting that fear

we've changed so much since with new headmates, names, identities, genders, kinks n more. even hosts have changed over to Rodrigo/Violeta in '24. now we mostly feel like a loose collective/hivemind. 'tis why we use "us" so often (tho both singular+plural pronouns are fine when referring to us)

in retrospect it was present in some form as early as our tween years. we suspect we're traumagenic, but origins are irrelevant. we can't imagine ourselves ever integrating into a singular self. none of us want that

we're simply a multiplicity of selves, and we're happiest that way