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Two weeks on, and my heart still bleeds.

I can't help but feel at fault for his death.
I feel like I made the wrong choice.

I've received his ashes now, but I struggle to hold the bag that contains them.
I can't believe that's him. It can't be. He was so much more than just a small bag of ashes...

As you can probably tell, I'm not coping well with this loss.
I had a routine with him, my Biggles. He'd always be in the bathroom resting...
If I stayed up late at night, he'd come begging for attention...

If I was in the kitchen, he'd sit at the gate and do his adorable little tricks...

He really was a character. I loved him so much... But even love must have its limits...

I bought two Tiffany kittens last week. Two beautiful girls. 18 weeks old, but born around the same month Biggles was.

One of them looks so much like Biggles, minus the short nose.

I named her Miss Biggles, in honor of the late, handsome prince, Mr Biggles.

She's so sweet and talkative, but she can't even meow properly, and her temperament reminds me so much of Mr Biggles.

The other, I named Sasha. I'm still unsure about the name for her, it's not really sticking for me yet...

She's super cuddly and so very perky. Her eyes are so gorgeous too.

I worry about them as they're still young and everything that had happened regarding Mr Biggles had left my wallet the lightest it's even been in years, meaning if anything happens, I may have to dig into my long untouched savings. So, I'm praying it doesn't come to that.

If you'd like to see pictures of the new kittens or of Mister Biggles, you can find a bunch of them or request them in my discord server, the link to which I've got listed on my profile page.

It doesn't feel it, but I just hope I made the right decision for Mr Biggles.
My biggest regret is that I may have taken away however many years he still had left.
People tell me I couldn't have known how things would go.
They're right, but I'm still the person responsible for him.

I still remember the last words I spoke to him, before and as he passed...

"I'm right here bubba. I'm right here..."

Oh Biggles, you joined our family so late, but you left a lasting impression.
I won't forget you. I refuse to. You were my duty to protect and care for.
I will continue to do so, even as you rest in the afterlife.
I hope you know how much I love you, how much I miss you and how much I want you back.

Please, rest easy my little champ. You had an amazing life. But even the most sweetest of princes must rest...