Hey it's flabadabo. Da dood who made this account like 3 years ago but only posted like 3 things. Tbh it would be ideal to change that. Buuut sometimes my cave man brain gets depressed when life decides to shit itself. I'm sure a lot of people can say the same. Though, not nearly as many can say it's a result of being bullied the fuck out of throughout their entire life and not getting a severe ADHD diagnosis until being in their 20s. Unfortunately I can. Yeesh, what a big turd to deal with, right? I'm not going to claim Im the most depressed little bird in the whole world, but it's been really debilitating throughout school, the last college class I flunked before I dropped out, and all the shitty jobs I jumped between. Later on I found out having an unhealthy social life during childhood can make a brain work even worse throughout life in addition to my neurodivergent as hell genetics. Also, I read some kind of article that said people in undeveloped countries with genetics associated with ADHD were more nourished. Supposedly, I'm a "hunter in a farmers world". Thankfully I have been getting mental health treatment, but taking ADHD medication long term has not had the most desirable results. It does its thing when it lasts, then I come crashing down like an airplane when it wares off waaay earlier than it should. There's hardly any times nowadays I feel alright without putting some kind of mind altering substance down my throat. Speaking of which, I check all the boxes for being at high risk for substance abuse. ADHD? Yup. Bullied? Not just that but rejected by society in general for being unproductive. Genetics in parents? My grandfather fucking flew drugs over country boarders, selfishly made my dad pay for his legal trouble, and is probably dead. My dad himself is autistic, the poverty-like house I grew up in was always cluttered like shit due to neither of my parents even bothering to say something about it unless they knew visitors were coming. My mom must also have some mental issue too, considering that. During all my time in school my behaviors were impulsive, sometimes without any social consideration. My brother and sister were socially accepted better, but all five people in my family have social quirks to this day. Thankfully, my dad has escaped the poverty my grandfather put him in years ago. However, his behavior is so damn autistic my mother is going to divorce him after my siblings move out. As for bro and sis, I have no doubt they will be successful despite being socially weird. The difference between them and I is they had eachother growing up, being only 2 years apart. Me though? The surgeon general saying loneliness is an epidemic wasn't wrong. Despite the fact I have a better social life than ever before, the behaviors of isolation I've built up over all my life are going to need a lot of re-programming to get over. That's on top of mother nature giving me the middle finger with the genetic lottery. Fml. Honestly, it's gotten to the point I would have put a shotgun up my mouth smiling in relief as I pulled the trigger, knowing I will no longer have to live with the thought I am eating up resources that could otherwise be used by people who are destined to be the next bill gates. Woah there, flabadabo. Let's not focus on the negatives. There are still reasons I've not bought a firearm, though. As a kid I freaked my kindergarden teacher out how well I could draw Stella Luna, the main character of some anthro bat show. Hahaha, I may not have been born to be Elon musk, but shit I have been born to draw furries lmao. I freaked that teacher out so badly I was referred to a psychiatrist. I imagine the way I acted so differently had something to do with it, too. But would my crazy parents who did not even have a concept of what is normal bother telling me that part? Nooope. He's just a kid, he'll grow out of it. Suuure. They still sucked it up and took me to the Looney bin for a check up. The psychiatrist said I was the most intelligent and observant kid he ever interviewed. Not too shabby. It would have been ideal if I didn't wait until I was 21 when I consulted Dr WebMD. (Here's the address of his office: https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/adhd-adults) and checked literally all the boxes except the part that talks about marriage issues, cuz being married is overrated. Mom and dad, what the actual fuck have you been smoking when you told that psychiatrist I saw at age 5 and continue to tell the psychiatrists I talk to today that "all young boys have a history of slacking on homework, they just need to grow up" ? Ok I'm done venting. On the other hand, I have always been a very outgoing person that can't help but understand when people have struggles. My current therapist has told me I could be a good therapist. A lot of people may hate me for being lazy, but the ones who can appreciate the positives (and the occasional social masking). And that, dear readers, is another story of why you should be considerate of people who have ADHD and why you should not hesitate to refer yourself or others to a psychiatrist if any of Dr webmd's symptoms are causing the person in question to not function in this world. And to clarify, no I don't have any intention of acting on any suicidal thoughts mentioned earlier. And... If anyone reading this just happens to not be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, trust me it's there. There's a crowd of people cheering your name there. They all can see how you benefit the world in your own unique way. Whether you are religious or not, you evolved/were made to be good at something. My father may be autistic, but he thought of ways to succeed that no one else could. There's some place somehow you belong, too. With 8 billion potential people to support you in finding your way, you statistically can't fail. Hu rah.

Tldr: had severe ADHD all my life, its depressing, but I'm focusing on the positives and am alive.