heyoo, it's been around 5 months since my first update and I feel like I should've wrote it down earlier but life got really intense, so let me explain.

Life update

Job

for majority of time not much changed since last journal until the end of March when I managed to get a junior IT position at a hospital - I was really happy things are going to change for the better and I was full of hope and motivation to do my best, I dealt with all the paperwork and started right away at April 1st. But to summarize it - it spiraled down really quickly and long story short turned out that I have a really bad social anxiety disorder that made me barely getting any sleep, constant headaches, breathing problem, high blood pressure and you can imagine the rest, basically spending my whole energy to pretend I'm fine in public just to suffer for the rest of the day worried about waking up tomorrow for more of that. With massive help of my close friends (I really love you guys, I'm really lucky to have you) I managed to quit it after a week and now I'm recovering from all of that, planning my next steps. I'm sharing all of that cause it entails next news I want to share with you all.

Arts

I mentioned that it's my only way to somehow survive on my own and that I'm burning out, losing motivation. All that IT job experience made me realize how lucky I am that I have people that actually enjoy my artwork and that I should put much more effort into it and hopefully turn it into an official full-time job instead of looking for one. I already started to realize this plan, trying to discipline myself, put much more time into art than I did before and so far it looks promising! Gonna try to make next steps into it and hopefully do what I actually enjoy and feel comfortable doing as my real job :)

Personal plans

For now I'm trying to take things easy, keep using help of my therapist, gonna find a psychiatrist to help with my fears which was advised to me and with all that fresh energy try to make a difference. I hope that it all will influence my arts too and I'll make more arts and comms to help visualize people's fun ideas and make them happy :3

Commissions info

With all that said, I'm announcing that I have plans to open for commissions soon again! It's been hecking 8 months since I did that and in the meantime I'm really grateful for people that had tons of patience with me and didn't mind waiting for their turn while getting something from me through DMs. My longest waiting time was ~2 months for some of you and I'm really really grateful it didn't scare you away, those commissions helped me a ton to survive in that time.

But yeah, if you were trying to commission me before - make sure that my form will be open soon, I'm hoping to grab as many comms as I can and with my refreshed efficiency and much more time spent on arts I hope they'll take much shorter to reach your turn and be done :)

Conclusion

Another set of venting done, I really appreciate if someone decided to read all of that, I felt like I owed to do that since last life update and that things will go better now.
To brighten up mood a bit, feel free to share your OCs or ideas in comments if you'd consider seeing those in my art style, I'm curious if there are people that'd still enjoy working with me soon or in the future ^^
Have a big noodly hug and enjoy your day or night :)