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I write wrongs.
And TF
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CadmiumTea
And TF
If you ever wish to donate to my continued authorship, the fiscal encouragment can be sent to the paypal
FakeManStories[at]gmail.com
Current icon by
CadmiumTea Stats
Comments Earned: 2341
Comments Made: 2225
Journals: 81
Comments Made: 2225
Journals: 81
Recent Journal
I am Now Dr. Fake! ALSO, IT WAS HELL. STORY INSIDE (G)
9 months ago
So, long story short, I stopped writing furry TF smut for awhile to focus on my dissertation. I passed my defense and now have a Doctorate of Philosophy in rhetoric!
This is good.
However, it was also the worst academic experience of my life so far. There's a LOT more anti-trans stuff going on than I assumed there would be, and I had a difficult time writing in a situation that I did not feel safe or respected.
Mind you, my previous experience was working in Saudi Arabia, so I have some experience working in hostile environments. But I must say, I feel misled by UNR because they said it was a safe, accepting place to be trans in, and I did not find this to be the case.
Some notable events that happened while I was working though my PhD process.
1. In my time at UNR, we went through 4 Title IX Directors. My university was one of 4 that chose not to publish its Title IX data and got called out for it in USA today. Sexual assault is a huge problem on campus, especially with professors and people in positions of authority.
2. Speaking of, an engineering professor kept repeatedly only hiring Chinese women with PhDs as "research assistants," and then forcing them to sleep with him on threat of deportation. One such student spoke up, and made a public accusation, then getting dragged through court, losing 10,000 in legal fees, and the university did nothing for YEARS.
https://nevadasagebrush.com/tag/feifei-fan-case/
3. A student was filmed shouting the N-word in the international dorms. After this a large group of black and other non-white students protested in front of the library that they had received similar treatment. The university condemned the individual student, but didn't do anything to actually combat the "acceptable level of white supremacy" on campus.
https://www.rgj.com/story/news/educ.....t/73300271007/
3.5. (I should probably mention that UNR is the university Peter Cytanovich, the face of the 2017 Unite the Right rally where he screamed "Jews will not replace us" into the camera. He then continued to drive the campus shuttle for weeks after that. Imagine calling the campus ride service because you don't feel safe walking in Reno and the most known white supremacist in the country shows up driving the UNR van -_-)
4. TPUSA has a large presence on our campus. They host events and guest speakers. Among these were
Charlie Kirk showing up along with some Proud Boys.
A guest speaker that said "Trans people are infiltrating the government so they can castrate your 3-year-olds," calling all trans people mentally ill, claiming that trans people should not exist, ( and this was all in a speech that was SUPPOSEDLY about opposing abortion . . .)
Another guest speaker showing up to say that guns are needed to respond to the tyranny of the government trying to take your kids away to trans them.
They sent out multiple anti-trans emails calling trans women "womenface" (like blackface,) saying trans men didn't exist, and inumerable other bits of anti-trans hate speech.
5. One Friday, an email came in with a "Use code Wolfpack25 to get 25% off at our sponsor Nutrient Survival." Nutrient Survival was a prepper food company that had "alpha warrior spokespeople" to promote their products. One of these was a gun review Youtuber called Garand Thumb, who had a Twitter page full of him calling for trans people to be killed (wood chippered, forced to dig their own graves, shot up the ass, etc . . .) The University continued to send out these emails for WEEKS after I brought their to their attention through at least 4 different departments and services.
6. Nevada System of Higher Education Regent (The guys who wrote my checks as a TA) Patrick Boylan called trans women "Men masquerading as women unless they've had their you-know-what's cut off," said all trans women athletes were just there trying to harm cis women, Claimed he had never heard the word "transgender" while he was easily able to rattle off anti-trans talking points and news incidents, Claimed it all actually a "woke" Democrat plot to discredit him by the dastardly women running against him, never admitted he said or did anything wrong.
My university said that there had been an "incident" at NSHE, but never mentioned what was said, never named Boylan, Never mentioned why any of it was problematic, made no plans of action to change anything, and ended up by saying "trans people have the right to feel welcome here." Like . . . what the fuck does that mean? What if trans people DON'T feel welcome or safe there? Like, how in God's name was I supposed to invoke my "right" to FEEL welcome? Anyways, he's still in his job.
https://thenevadaindependent.com/ar.....ed-wrong-words
https://www.rgj.com/story/news/educ.....s/72931592007/
https://www.reviewjournal.com/local.....ments-3012773/
7. UNR's Volleyball team refused to play Jan Jose State because they allegedly had a trans player on their team.
This is after University of Las Vegas beat San Jose 3-1.
The UNR team's "bravery" attracted Republican attention. They hosted a 400+ person anti trans rally (was supposed to be at the campus bar, but got so big they had to hold it at the convention center.) This got national coverage. MAGA loved it so much Trump's administration is now targeting San Jose state, threatening them and their funding.
8. Some of my peers in the department were awful.
An office mate said "It's good they can coexist" after the Proud Boys brought a gun to their protest of Drag Queen Story Hour at the Sparks Public Library.
A classmate said a passing trans-man I brought up wasn't rally a man because he "didn't fit the objective cultural standards of gender. He stopped talking to me completely after I disagreed.
My last seminar, I got instructed to just let anti-trans students do their thing and be polite to show them I was "one of the good ones."
The department was apathetic. Some people were holding casual class debates on "the trans issue" in writing 101 and 102. We supported "both sides"
9. I did some work at the uni. Won a poster contest with a poster about anti-trans rhetoric on campus (won $500. Gave it immediately to the psych department to get tested for ADHD. I do not have ADHD, but got a really weird spread of results. Might be autistic. Can't afford to know. It costs $3,500.) Worked with an assistant dean on a presentation on combating anti-trans rhetoric on campus. We did it, response was positive but nothing concrete happened. The dean stepped down, citing the stress and discrimination from being the "only brown, gay man" in upper leadership.
10. Nazi stickers, swastikas, NeoNazi, and white supremacist stickers kept showing up on campus. Even if you tore them down, there was always more.
11. I had a hard time with my committee. While they were super smart, and I respect that, the anti-trans rhetoric on campus could always be explained away as "just neoliberalism" or "just a conservative city" or " just an opinion."
12. The other queer folks I know who went through the program are shell shocked. There's a creative writing MFA who stopped reading and writing completely for about a year. They were not burnt out, but incinerated. A guy in my cohort quit after 3 years to become a banker who is now managing his depression now that he's free of UNR. Also, UNR doesn't treat Veterans very well either. Not saying that veterans are queer, well, I mean, SOME are, and I think that's rad as fuck, but yeah, all the vets I knew there also quit, even ones that had gone though some AWFUL SHIT in their lives felt less supported at UNR than in actual warfare.
13. Overall, it hurt me. I think being genderqueer is neat, but now I know that a lot of folks don't think I'm fully deserving of equal rights, representation, and/or respect. My dissertation was critical of the Trump regime, and how ironic distancing ("Don't worry, bro. It was just a joke") allowed them to inject bigotry into the mainstream. I'm not super comfortable with the way the country is going, and would in fact, say it's quite bad.
"Science Tells Us the U.S. Is Heading toward a Dictatorship
The red flags abound—political research tells us the U.S. is becoming an autocracy"
https://www.scientificamerican.com/.....-dictatorship/
Even the science nerds are getting worried. I tend to agree. The constitution is currently not being followed. Their is direct constitutional conflict between the executive and the Judicial, as well as the executive and legislative branches (Executive rising taxes and distributing tax dollars, Executive defying Supreme court order and constitutional interpretation,)
So that's scary.
I might try to find a job somewhere else again.
If I could live in Saudi for 3 years, I can do what I need to. Id rather be in a place I can openly be queer tho. I have to many fantastic skirts to not wear them.
Still tho, I'd like to be closer. My folks are getting old, and I want o be around for them.
Maybe Canada needs a rhetoric instructor, lol.
Good to see ya'll again.
-Fake
This is good.
However, it was also the worst academic experience of my life so far. There's a LOT more anti-trans stuff going on than I assumed there would be, and I had a difficult time writing in a situation that I did not feel safe or respected.
Mind you, my previous experience was working in Saudi Arabia, so I have some experience working in hostile environments. But I must say, I feel misled by UNR because they said it was a safe, accepting place to be trans in, and I did not find this to be the case.
Some notable events that happened while I was working though my PhD process.
1. In my time at UNR, we went through 4 Title IX Directors. My university was one of 4 that chose not to publish its Title IX data and got called out for it in USA today. Sexual assault is a huge problem on campus, especially with professors and people in positions of authority.
2. Speaking of, an engineering professor kept repeatedly only hiring Chinese women with PhDs as "research assistants," and then forcing them to sleep with him on threat of deportation. One such student spoke up, and made a public accusation, then getting dragged through court, losing 10,000 in legal fees, and the university did nothing for YEARS.
https://nevadasagebrush.com/tag/feifei-fan-case/
3. A student was filmed shouting the N-word in the international dorms. After this a large group of black and other non-white students protested in front of the library that they had received similar treatment. The university condemned the individual student, but didn't do anything to actually combat the "acceptable level of white supremacy" on campus.
https://www.rgj.com/story/news/educ.....t/73300271007/
3.5. (I should probably mention that UNR is the university Peter Cytanovich, the face of the 2017 Unite the Right rally where he screamed "Jews will not replace us" into the camera. He then continued to drive the campus shuttle for weeks after that. Imagine calling the campus ride service because you don't feel safe walking in Reno and the most known white supremacist in the country shows up driving the UNR van -_-)
4. TPUSA has a large presence on our campus. They host events and guest speakers. Among these were
Charlie Kirk showing up along with some Proud Boys.
A guest speaker that said "Trans people are infiltrating the government so they can castrate your 3-year-olds," calling all trans people mentally ill, claiming that trans people should not exist, ( and this was all in a speech that was SUPPOSEDLY about opposing abortion . . .)
Another guest speaker showing up to say that guns are needed to respond to the tyranny of the government trying to take your kids away to trans them.
They sent out multiple anti-trans emails calling trans women "womenface" (like blackface,) saying trans men didn't exist, and inumerable other bits of anti-trans hate speech.
5. One Friday, an email came in with a "Use code Wolfpack25 to get 25% off at our sponsor Nutrient Survival." Nutrient Survival was a prepper food company that had "alpha warrior spokespeople" to promote their products. One of these was a gun review Youtuber called Garand Thumb, who had a Twitter page full of him calling for trans people to be killed (wood chippered, forced to dig their own graves, shot up the ass, etc . . .) The University continued to send out these emails for WEEKS after I brought their to their attention through at least 4 different departments and services.
6. Nevada System of Higher Education Regent (The guys who wrote my checks as a TA) Patrick Boylan called trans women "Men masquerading as women unless they've had their you-know-what's cut off," said all trans women athletes were just there trying to harm cis women, Claimed he had never heard the word "transgender" while he was easily able to rattle off anti-trans talking points and news incidents, Claimed it all actually a "woke" Democrat plot to discredit him by the dastardly women running against him, never admitted he said or did anything wrong.
My university said that there had been an "incident" at NSHE, but never mentioned what was said, never named Boylan, Never mentioned why any of it was problematic, made no plans of action to change anything, and ended up by saying "trans people have the right to feel welcome here." Like . . . what the fuck does that mean? What if trans people DON'T feel welcome or safe there? Like, how in God's name was I supposed to invoke my "right" to FEEL welcome? Anyways, he's still in his job.
https://thenevadaindependent.com/ar.....ed-wrong-words
https://www.rgj.com/story/news/educ.....s/72931592007/
https://www.reviewjournal.com/local.....ments-3012773/
7. UNR's Volleyball team refused to play Jan Jose State because they allegedly had a trans player on their team.
This is after University of Las Vegas beat San Jose 3-1.
The UNR team's "bravery" attracted Republican attention. They hosted a 400+ person anti trans rally (was supposed to be at the campus bar, but got so big they had to hold it at the convention center.) This got national coverage. MAGA loved it so much Trump's administration is now targeting San Jose state, threatening them and their funding.
8. Some of my peers in the department were awful.
An office mate said "It's good they can coexist" after the Proud Boys brought a gun to their protest of Drag Queen Story Hour at the Sparks Public Library.
A classmate said a passing trans-man I brought up wasn't rally a man because he "didn't fit the objective cultural standards of gender. He stopped talking to me completely after I disagreed.
My last seminar, I got instructed to just let anti-trans students do their thing and be polite to show them I was "one of the good ones."
The department was apathetic. Some people were holding casual class debates on "the trans issue" in writing 101 and 102. We supported "both sides"
9. I did some work at the uni. Won a poster contest with a poster about anti-trans rhetoric on campus (won $500. Gave it immediately to the psych department to get tested for ADHD. I do not have ADHD, but got a really weird spread of results. Might be autistic. Can't afford to know. It costs $3,500.) Worked with an assistant dean on a presentation on combating anti-trans rhetoric on campus. We did it, response was positive but nothing concrete happened. The dean stepped down, citing the stress and discrimination from being the "only brown, gay man" in upper leadership.
10. Nazi stickers, swastikas, NeoNazi, and white supremacist stickers kept showing up on campus. Even if you tore them down, there was always more.
11. I had a hard time with my committee. While they were super smart, and I respect that, the anti-trans rhetoric on campus could always be explained away as "just neoliberalism" or "just a conservative city" or " just an opinion."
12. The other queer folks I know who went through the program are shell shocked. There's a creative writing MFA who stopped reading and writing completely for about a year. They were not burnt out, but incinerated. A guy in my cohort quit after 3 years to become a banker who is now managing his depression now that he's free of UNR. Also, UNR doesn't treat Veterans very well either. Not saying that veterans are queer, well, I mean, SOME are, and I think that's rad as fuck, but yeah, all the vets I knew there also quit, even ones that had gone though some AWFUL SHIT in their lives felt less supported at UNR than in actual warfare.
13. Overall, it hurt me. I think being genderqueer is neat, but now I know that a lot of folks don't think I'm fully deserving of equal rights, representation, and/or respect. My dissertation was critical of the Trump regime, and how ironic distancing ("Don't worry, bro. It was just a joke") allowed them to inject bigotry into the mainstream. I'm not super comfortable with the way the country is going, and would in fact, say it's quite bad.
"Science Tells Us the U.S. Is Heading toward a Dictatorship
The red flags abound—political research tells us the U.S. is becoming an autocracy"
https://www.scientificamerican.com/.....-dictatorship/
Even the science nerds are getting worried. I tend to agree. The constitution is currently not being followed. Their is direct constitutional conflict between the executive and the Judicial, as well as the executive and legislative branches (Executive rising taxes and distributing tax dollars, Executive defying Supreme court order and constitutional interpretation,)
So that's scary.
I might try to find a job somewhere else again.
If I could live in Saudi for 3 years, I can do what I need to. Id rather be in a place I can openly be queer tho. I have to many fantastic skirts to not wear them.
Still tho, I'd like to be closer. My folks are getting old, and I want o be around for them.
Maybe Canada needs a rhetoric instructor, lol.
Good to see ya'll again.
-Fake
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