Why hello there! I can only hope that you've stumbled here by intent and not mistake. Please do pull up a chair and relax either way, I'm sure that we have much to discuss. Rather than than bore you with extraneous details I'll give you a chance to read these fascinating facts about myself.

* Sometimes wishes he was wearing spectacles despite his flawless vision
* Has studied the forbidden secrets of alchemy, transmutation, scapulimancy, and eldritch horticulture
* Randomly and spontaneously transforms at unexpected and inopportune moments for reasons that he doesn't care to elaborate upon
* Often seems to enjoy having this happen despite adamant protests to the contrary
* Occasionally wonders why Finnish is so beautifully unintelligible but doesn't care to study it
* Would rather have sex in a library than a bedchamber, in part due to his unassailable fetish for the smell of aging parchment
* Has nothing to do with his namesake unless he is suffering from a baleful morphological influence
* Likes to rationalize anthropomorphic animals by pretending that they're in the middle of transforming
* Treats his enemies with a measure of politeness and respect that might belie honest friendship
* Believes that writing is the only effective hangover cure
* Tends to be a bit of a doofus despite his mannered upbringing and erudite demeanour
* Sometimes wishes that he could see the world in intaglio
* Has an irrational hatred of redundant punctuation
* Would rather carefully untie a bodice than rip it despite his love of spontaneity and drama
* Is certainly not your pet unless he is somehow under duress or has been fed something delicious