It's been a while I wrote something around here and I've been quite inactive due to personal problems...

Here the thing. My job is about to end this month as I reached my 2 years limit there. It went pretty well overall but I had to search for an another job during my contract and it had been quite difficult. Everyone were still satisfied about the work I achieved during theses 2 years. But...

This is a charitable association and they need positive outcomes. As such, they sent me on a training course to learn about a job that has nothing to do with the one I'm looking for and incompatible with my pathology... Not only they rushed the demand and without my opinion, I was quite relunctant but they forced me anyway... Since the end of November 2025, I started to take lessons there and... it ended pretty badly... to the point I had a breakdown and I was about to resign which I couldn't because I signed a contract... And if I tried to force, I was like threatened as it could destroy my reputation to look for a job later on...

So, I kept going for weeks... and weeks of suffering... Pressured to pass the test and get the title... to do stuffs I didn't like at all... That was the first step. I then had an internship for 6 weeks which started at Christmas' week. I was completely lost because I was on something totally new. I even had to work on December 24th, while we were authorized to leave early so we could see our families and so on... I was too depressed... too exhausted... I couldn't leave my home... I spent all that evening... alone... and not celebrating Christmas much...
My internship continued until end of January 2026. While it went alright and they were satisfied about my job... I wasn't feeling really happy... even though I did my best to force a smile to greet our clients. I did what I had to do but this job is not for me...
In February, I went back to finish my training course with more lessons. While some went alright, there were sessions... I just couldn't... I was unable to do a single thing, to say a single word... I was so desperate for it to end...

And soon, I reached my limit... I couldn't keep going... I did something I didn't expect to do but had no choice in the end... I asked a sick leave which started this month basically. Allowing me to stop coming with no consequence... no pressure... and no exam... That title would be useless to me anyway...

Needless to say, I'm rather devastated and mentally exhausted it's gonna take a while for me to recover... Likely 2 weeks or a whole month... which saddens me because I was hoping to celebrate Macro March... I can only hope my birthday will start to cheer me up on Aprils the 9th...

So yeah, that's about what happened to me theses last months... I didn't want to bother people with my problems but my sanity is so low... I kinda need a little bit of support in the end. Thanks for listening to me.