I don't use furaffinity much anymore, but I'd like to just vent about stuff that's happened and where life has lead me to this point
and this seems like a remote and personal enough place to do it.

A few months ago a made a journal as somewhat of a note to my recent ex boyfriend at the time, but also to just sort of
act as a written piece of closure to a chapter in my life. It's been deleted since as I didn't really want it to made into a big thing
and it was really only something that was supposed to be between the two of us.

People change and sometimes things just can't be worked out. But I must say, at this point it's far enough behind me that I can't even remember
the collection of issues with the relationship that clouded my mind at the time. It makes me wonder how important it really was. There were certainly good times
and I'm thankful to say that the good memories have pushed their way forward in my mind more so than the bad.

I no longer have those thoughts of frustration when I think back on it and I feel like even though it didn't work out, the experience itself has added to my growth as a
person. Young love is a strange, but essential process in coming of age and I feel it was important to go through that. Before I had never really had a relationship experience (outside of casually dating)
where the person was a reasonable distance away and never fully understood that there is a distinct difference in being around someone in person and talking to them on the internet and having never
met them.

Not to discredit long distance relationships, but you cannot fully understand what a person is like until you've spent genuine periods of time with them in close proximity.

Nonetheless, I realized the more time I spent with them, the more conversations online sort of blended together and made more sense based on their
personality and how they carried themselves. There's just a veil there that needs to be broken and once it has been, it makes all the difference.
Especially in knowing if the person you're interested in is someone you want to pursue more seriously and create a life with.

In closing, I learned how important experiences like I had are in shaping what your future dating preferences will look like and how
connecting with another person is truly a process that's to be respected and not to be cast aside just to feel like you have
someone. Continuing to leash along a relationship just because you don't want to feel alone again, while not truly connecting with a person
isn't beneficial to anyone and only causes more loneliness in the end. The process is gruling at times, yet essential.

Let yourself love, even if the chance of being hurt or that love fading is a factor you fear.

In the words of Kelly Clarkson, 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'.