Hey,
Debated on posting this. Normally Christmas for e I can feel the joy and happiness that happens this tie of year Last 3 years that little spark I try to keep gets dimmer and dimmer. It gets harder and harder to feel the magic.

Loosing good friends here hasn't helped plus loosing jack, then finding out Toni passed in Oct really hit. The finding out her Mom also passed really took a turn.

It's getting harder and harder to look forward to the season that was my Mom's favorite time of the year and used to be mine. Now, it just feels like any other day to me. Lately I just wanna sleep and try to hide from everything.

Sorry if I sound whiney. It's just getting really hard to keep that feeling going anymore.