Im sorry for my recent long absence, just a few things been going through my mind

just lately iv had a massive paranoia attack, to the point where i was thinking everyone hated me, and was just waiting for me to do one thing wrong so they can all laugh in my face and not even care about my feelings. I knew i was starting to get one at the beginning of the month, from the time i kinda moaned at one of my best mates for no reason at all. just because somewhere in my mind i thought everyone was trying to turn against me... iv even had many tantrums with matt recently too, to the point i have practically accusing him of cheating, when he hasnt, and that he does in fact has a job to go to. and the paranoia did get worse. for some reason, i thought everyone was plotting against me, and wanted me dead... even those who were close

My paranoia has calmed a lot now, and these things that my mind was making me think/feel, i know aint true

also, one of my Grandads recently passed on, and i havent yet been able to say goodbye. which i feel really bad about

this is the reason i havent been online much lately.

i do have a few pics to upload, though for somereason, my laptop likes having a hissy fit every time i try and upload something. so hopefully soon will get something sorted.

anyways, im sorry once again for my long absence

also, if im not on before christmas, i do hope many of you will have a very merry christmas and a happy new year

with much love

xxx