So…here I am again with these journals that only one or two people will read,with a weird ass furry talking about whatever.I’ve not gotten any better tbh.I’ve not been diagnosed by a doctor,haven’t had the chance with the local doctors being very finicky,and to be Frank,I…don’t really need someone in a fancy white coat to know my mental state’s in the gutter.I don’t think I’d be able to even say any of my current problems and somewhat traumas to,for eg,samaratins,considering I struggle to even say anything remotely like that,and FUCK NO I’m not wanting to show this acc to a random ass therapist just so that I can explain why I’m struggling to find reasons to move forward.
Closest I can get to saying what’s wrong is just problems with constantly being alone,which I’ve rambled about before,my lacking confidence and simply paranoia about how I act around people.
I mean,I normally act like a lil’ goober around quite a few people since my autism basically makes socialising a nightmare.Sometimes though,I do wonder what people see with me.I’ve never been told about how I act or if I’m annoying or such.I never mean to act shit to others,fuck it,I AVOID it since I don’t want to lose the little friends I have or ward others off,but thanks to my autism,i have no clue about it.i have no clue if my compliment came off as an insult or me chatting about…this is sounding like a desperate beg for attention.Because of that too,I end up being unable to talk at all…
Idk…