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ωнαт α вєαυтιғυℓ ғαcє ι нαvє ғσυиם ιи тнιs ρℓαcє
Ｙｏｕ | ｔｏｕｃｈ | ａ | ｓｏｕｒｃｅ | ｏｆ | ｅｎｄｌｅｓｓ | ｓｉｇｈｔ
Ｉ ｗａｔｃｈｅｄ ｈｏｗ ｔｈｅ ｗｏｒｌｄ ｆｅｌｌ ａｓｌｅｅｐ
Ｔｈｅ ｄｅａｔｈ ｉｎ ｙｏｕｒ ｈｅａｒｔ ｋｅｅｐｓ ｍｅ ａｗａｋｅ
Ｗｅ ｈａｖｅ ｔｏ ｆｉｎｄ ｔｈｅ ａｓｔｒａｙ ｌａｎｇｕａｇｅ
Ｌｏｓｔ ｉｓ ｔｈｅ ｍａｐ ｔｈａｔ ｂｉｎｄｓ ｔｗｏ ｄｉａｌｅｃｔｓ
αиם ι ωσи’т тєℓℓ иσ σиє чσυя иαмє
Maggie Royston - but, for the record, it's Brynala Shwattz.
ι нєαяם чσυ ғ•cк тняσυɢн тнє ωαℓℓ
Female
тιмє, тιмє, тιмє
Twenty-Eight
тнє םαч ι ℓєғт тнє ωσмв
April Fifth
sσ мαич sтσяιєs σғ ωнєяє ι’vє вєєи αиם нσω ι ɢσт тσ ωнєяє ι αм
I was born on April 5th a little over 28 years ago. I wish I could put in that sentence where everyone says it started out happy for me, with a happy family and a good neighborhood, but that would be lying. My family was broken long before I even entered the world. I don't remember much about my parents - I do my best to try to forget them, actually - but what little I do know needs to be said. My father was a convicted murderer, and I have no doubt that he did it. For whatever reason, my mother fell in love with him and decided to attach her affections to him, no matter how hard he hit her. I guess it was that bad boy thing. I really don't know. She covered up the bruises with make-up and she covered up the pain with alcohol. So when it came time for me to be born in Huang Guan Cheng Shi, my mother was completely drunk. It was her undoing, and mine. There were complication in the birth and the doctors opted for a C-Section. I made it. My mother, on the other hand, bled to death on the table.
Or, at least, that's what my father told me.
Chances are, it was more because of the shock and the added effects of the alcohol but I'll never know. My father jammed it into my head that my mother died because of me, adding insult to insecurity. He was never exactly the father figure I would've wished for, in retrospect, but he was the one I got. I was the youngest of four, though my father had another woman who had a kid. I guess he didn't believe in condoms or birth control or anything. In any case, I had two sisters, a brother, and a half-brother who I never really knew. The oldest child was my sister Gail, followed by Ballard, and then Harvina. I don't remember what my half-brother's name was. Our father, angry at us for our mother's death began abusing us, mentally at first and then physically. Ballard and I got it the worst because we stuck out. Gail ran away after she got pushed down the stairs. She got out of the hospital and never came back, which only made it harder for Ballard, Harvina, and I. He liked to throw things, I remember. Books, dishware, silverware if it was on hand... whatever he could grab that was heavy. He threw a lamp at Ballard once, I remember. Luckily he missed. In summary, my bones have been broken more than a few times, I've been hit with fists and furniture, and I've been knocked down the stairs. School was the only respite from the pain of being knocked around by our father.
One day, when I was ten, the teacher pulled me aside and told me there had been a "terrible" accident. She informed me that my house had burnt down with my family inside, all except for me. I never learned the truth, that the government was splitting us up to get us away from our father - I just believed them. It's likely Ballard and Harvina did the same. They changed my last name to Brynala Shwattz and sent me to a government school. Honestly, I liked my new name a lot better. It was a fresh start, and me leaving behind a part of me I never wanted back.
After about a year of going to the school, I decided I wanted to go into the military branch. I was actually good at it, surprisingly. I was particularly good at hand-to-hand combat and at sneaking. They wanted me to work for the intelligence agency, actually. You know, like a spy? They didn't want me for an agent though - I'm a damn lousy shot.
I had started having sleep problems about a year prior but thought nothing of it. But all of that went away one day during an activity. We were doing team building activities - you know, the bullshit they always make you do, and I was stuck with all guys. Well, they thought it would be funny to drop me - actually drop me - rather than catch me. The shock with the added rage that slurred out of my mouth actually caused me to collapse. I came around ten minutes later with ammonia under my nose and they brushed it off as I had landed wrong. Until it happened again when someone else pissed me off - I don't even remember what for. It was a hard time for me.
The medical team sent me back to class but scheduled testing for later in the week. When it kept happening, the appointment got moved up in the week. They found out that I had a condition called narcolepsy, something I had only heard of one TV specials that I had completely ignored because I never thought I'd ever need it. In an instant, my military career was over. I mean, what good is a spy who can't even stay awake? ... w-what? No, I'm not crying! Just... just shut up, okay? Sure, it sucked. And yeah, I hated myself. 'Cause I was weak. Useless. My life that I had built up was completely gone by the time I was seventeen. I mean, I still kind of hate it. But I was bad at mathematics and, though I was really good at grammar and language-type things but no good for teaching so I was stuck.
They compared me to this Baxter guy who had come here. I guess it was because of the whole "I don't know what I want to do" thing. So I looked him up. Not only had he gone to the school I was at, but he was now head of some part of the science lab. I was impressed, actually. He'd done well even though he'd come from nothing. I mean, sure, he wasn't narcoleptic or anything, but he made it, didn't he? I was interested, naturally. I looked into it and the school said that there was a position open - a security guard of sorts, nothing that would really require actual combat. I said I was interested, naturally, and the counselor set me up with someone to talk to about the position. He was careful not to tell me it was an interview, though he did tell me to try to be polite. I got there, was my usual self, kept it polite, asked my questions. It was a security job. I was going to be protecting Dr. Baxter from himself. See, he worked with zombies and sometimes he got a little too "cozy" with his subjects. So they wanted a guard just to help him, just to make sure he didn't play with the wrong crowd. So I signed up for the job. They let me have it. Only afterward did I find out that I had spoken with the chief of security. They had tricked me so I wouldn't be nervous, so I wouldn't pass out on the guy, and it worked. I got the job, got released from a school full of classes I wanted nothing to do with, and tomorrow, I start work at the science headquarters thing. And... I swear to God if you laugh... I'm really nervous. It's my first job and it isn't exactly the simplest one I could have gotten. I mean, I working in a science building and I'm not even good at math! I just... I'm worried they won't want me. Still, because of my sleep problems they said I was ideal for her schedule - apparently she doesn't like sleeping much and since I sleep sporadically it works out beautifully.
ι’m ωαч συт, ωαч συт
Most narcoleptic people tend to shut off emotions to avoid cataplectic episodes. They avoid those emotions as much as they possibly can because we literally shut down and fall asleep when we experience those - such as exhilaration, anger, fear, surprise, orgasm, awe, embarrassment, and laughter. So people avoid them so they can live "normal" lives. To me, shutting off normal emotions isn't normal, so I... I collapse a lot. Especially when you consider the fact that I have a short fuse. I mean, I try to stay level headed but I don't want to be a damn Vulcan. I won't forget who I am like that. I like being happy and stuff as much as the next guy. But even so, I like having the ability to get angry - or at least I liked it. Nobody really likes getting angry but not many like knowing the feeling of "you can't get angry." Of course with my temper, the most I can get out of my mouth is maybe a coherent sentence and a couple of curse words before I take a midday snooze. Not that I'm always angry. But I'm a girl. We have hormones, mood swings, that sort of thing. Crying does the same thing. Upset, scared, angry, I get knocked out for at least a few minutes. I do try to be discrete in what I let others see but I don't want to change the way I am. So if being myself means passing out, I'll probably do it. I really want to avoid collapsing at work though, so maybe I'll try being a little more "Vulcanized" just to avoid more collapses at work.
As far as work goes, I'm very direction oriented, which will make this job easier to handle than others for me. I'm there for two reasons:
1.) Make sure Dr. Baxter doesn't cuddle with a zombie.
2.) Try and help her research in any way possible. As long as I'm given things to do and have the means to do it, I'll work for any task. I'm just happy I have a semi-militaristic job period. I mean, I was all set to have a life of living on what the government would award me or a life of stuffing envelopes and now I have a job being a guard. Sure, it wasn't exactly what I wanted but it's close enough that, hell, I am not about to complain.
ι’ℓℓ тєℓℓ чσυ sσмєтнιи’
ｓｍｉｌｅ | ａｔ | ｔｈｅ | ｂｒｏｋｅｎ | ｗｏｒｌｄ
✔ ｃａｔｓ −
Look, before you start to judge, they're furry, they're cute, and most of the time friendly - if they've been treated right. Is it wrong of me to like fluffy things? I mean - hell, I might act pretty butch, I guess, for a girl who passes out at the drop of a hat, but I'm still a girl. Girls like cats. I think it's built into our genetic code or something.
✔ ｒａｉｎ −
I don't know what it is about rain. I just really like it. It has a relaxing sound when it hits the windows of my apartment and I love to go sit in the rain and just get soaked to the bone for no reason. Yeah, people look at me like I'm a crazy hobo or something. Well maybe I happen to like being a crazy hobo. What then?
✔ ｐｉｌｌｏｗｓ −
What's to say? They're colorful, warm, help you sleep, and are excellent for so many different uses. Seriously, I think my bed exists to serve the pillow.
✔ ｄｒａｗｉｎｇ −
Yeah, so... I'm actually pretty good at drawing. People mostly. But I'm not really a big art kid or anything - I mean, I wanted to go into the military for Pete's sake. Still, sometimes on a bad day or when I have spare time, I wind up doodling people around me.
✔ ｗａｔｅｒ −
Like rain, I really like water - I just have to be really careful around it. But I always used to love swimming and things before I developed narcolepsy and my love of water has yet to go away.
✔ ｗａｒｍｔｈ −
Give me a pillow and a warm blanket and a couple of kittens to cuddle up with and I am set. I like being warm. It has a sort of safety and comfort to it that appeals to me. Not that I want to be baking in the sun either, I just like a little warmth.
✔ ｒｅａｌ ｓｌｅｅｐ −
With narcolepsy, collapsing isn't the only sleep problem you have. Because of the unscheduled naps in the day time, my brain will read that I've slept enough and literally won't shut off at night. There are nights where I won't sleep at all, which makes me prone to collapsing every time I get angry or scared. But the nights I actually get sleep... well, those I treasure.
✔ ｃｏｌｏｒｓ −
I like 'em. I guess this goes along with my "I like drawing" spiel from before but colors are just neat. I particularly like the color blue, though I couldn't tell you why.
✔ ｒｅｍｅｍｂｅｒｉｎｇ ｄｒｅａｍｓ −
With how infrequently I get to actually sleep, I actually dream a lot. Cataplexy sends you straight into REM sleep, so I get to dream while I'm still conscious. Usually, my dreams aren't too disturbing, but like most people I usually forget them. So when I do manage to remember them, I try to write them down. Sometimes, though, the only ones I can remember are the nightmares.
✔ ｃｌｅｖｅｒ ｊｏｋｅｓ −
I like them. I'm not into the slapstick sort of comedy - I like wit. Cleverness and humor go well together in my opinion.
✔ ｓｐｉｄｅｒｓ −
Yes, I like them. They don't do any harm, really. They just sit around in your house and eat bugs that manage to get inside. Plus, I think they're kind of cute. I mean, I don't touch them or anything because they still have fangs, but I kind of like the little eight-legged guys.
ｄｏｎ’ｔ | ｌｅｔ | ｉｔ | ｓｅｅ | ｙｏｕ’ｒｅ | ａｆｒａｉｄ
✘ ｍｙ ｇｌａｓｓｅｓ −
Rrrgh. Well, to put it simply, I don't like them. I mean, c'mon, they're legit stereotypical Chinese glasses! And even fewer of them can actually pull them off, let alone the white girl! They're for reading, really, so I can avoid them for the most part, but I think the wide frames made me look geeky.
✘ ｇｉｒｌ ｃｌｏｔｈｅｓ −
Dresses, heels, and anything else you might want me to squeeze myself into - I don't wear stuff like that. Keep it locked up in the closet or give it to someone else.
✘ ｃａｔ ｎａｐｓ −
By which I mean Cataplexy naps. They throw off my sleep schedule and they can be dangerous to me. Naturally, I don't like them.
✘ ｓｔａｌｋｅｒｓ −
Stalkers... yes, Steve, I mean you..........psycho.
✘ ｃｒｕｎｃｈｉｎｇ ｎｕｍｂｅｒｓ −
I'm not the best at math. I can do the basics as far as algebra classes go but I'm no human calculator, sad to say.
✘ ｃｒｙｉｎｇ −
No one likes to cry. It's not pretty and I'm already not... very pretty so... look, anyways, I just don't like it. Not to mention, tears usually come with that damn upset and, wham, I go from 0 to ground in three seconds flat.
✘ ａｂｕｓｅ −
Look, I was abused once. And I hated it. So the idea of someone else living through that pisses me off. I don't care if it's a kitten or a child, you shouldn't be hurting them. This mentality has gotten me in trouble before.
✘ ｇｒａｍｍａｒ ｅｒｒｏｒｓ −
No. Just no. If you're going to talk to me, say it properly. If you're leaving me a note, write it in a sentence. Your 1st grade English teacher didn't spend that year teaching you to capitalize the first letter of a word and ending a sentence with a period for nothing. I know you aren't 5 years old.
✘ ｌｏｎｅｌｉｎｅｓｓ −
I don't like being by myself. It weirds me out. That's probably why I have a multitude of stray cats living at my house.
✘ ｅａｒｌｙ ｂｉｒｄ ｒｉｓｉｎｇ −
I really hate it, especially if I've actually been sleeping properly.
ａ | ｓｕｐｅｒ | ｐｏｗｅｒ | ａｌｌ | ｙｏｕｒ | ｏｗｎ
☼ ｏｐｅｎ−ｍｉｎｄｅｄｎｅｓｓ −
One of my qualities would have to be that I can keep an open mind about most things - music, sexual orientation, government policies, personal choices, etc. So if ever you need someone who won't be biased, while I might not entirely agree with you, I can at least listen with an open mind.
☼ ｌｏｇｉｃａｌ −
I try to remain fairly logical. I'm actually really good at unraveling mysteries, ironically, because of it. It also helps me if I remain logical because it means my emotions are kind of kept in check. Seriously, haven't you ever watched Star Trek? Vulcans are classic.
☼ ｃｏｍｐａｓｓｉｏｎ −
Yes, I know: compassion in a soldier? I know, probably not the best quality to have when you have to shoot at people. Still, I am very compassionate. I won't leave someone lying in the dust or starving in the streets. It's just part of who I am. I just like taking care of things, I guess.
☼ ｉｎｄｅｐｅｎｄｅｎｔ −
Despite my narcolepsy, I'm very much an independent person. I can fend for myself most of the time and I manage well on my own. Plus, it gives me comfort that I haven't succumbed to the narcolepsy.
ｗｉｔｈ | ｙｏｕｒ | ｏｗｎ | ｓｐｅｃｉａｌ | ｂｒａｎｄ | ｏｆ | ｋｒｙｐｔｏｎｉｔｅ
☁ ｎａｒｃｏｌｅｐｓｙ −
This is the easy one to pick out about me. The slightest hint of fear or anger or sadness and my mind shuts down completely. I guess the cataplexy part of it is the worst part but seriously, narcolepsy is the bane of my existence.
☁ ｉｎｓｅｃｕｒｉｔｙ −
Like with the glasses, I have shitty self-esteem. I find very little about myself attractive. My psych report probably says it's a result of the abuse but I think it was just the teasing in school, honestly, though the abuse probably didn't do me any favors either, particularly the mental abuse. Needless to say, I don't take insults well because I don't have enough of a wall built to keep further insults out. I just won't let you see that you've hurt me.
☁ ｔｅｍｐｅｒ −
Hah. This is the kicker. I have a very short fuse and very little patience. So add a temper to narcolepsy and you have someone who collapses every time something makes them angry - so when I get mad, I collapse. Every time I start getting angry, my brain interprets it as the REM brainwaves and decides to shut me down, kind of like a robot with emotions.
☁ ｉｎｄｅｐｅｎｄｅｎｔ −
Much as I like being independent, it isn't safe. More than once, I've collapsed out in public, which results in ambulances being called, people huddling, and police trying to wake me up, thinking I'm faking it. And let me tell you, police are assholes when they think you're faking it. Sure, I wear an arm band but most cops don't think to check for medical bracelets when a person is out on the ground. I've been poked in the eyes before by cops because they thought I was screwing with them. So then they ship me off to the hospital with the ambulance and try to label me as epileptic, give me treatments that don't help, and I can't even move. Strictly speaking, being independent is not good for me.
ι’м ɢσιиɢ иσωнєяє
Government, baby.
αиם ωнєи ι ℓσsє мчsєℓғ, ι тнιик σғ чσυ
I haven't met a damn one of them yet.
α sσиɢ sσмєσиє sιиɢs
Hurt
Manipulated
чσυ’яє тαкιиɢ σvєя мє
And... I kind of life it...Stats
Comments Earned: 57
Comments Made: 28
Journals: 4
Comments Made: 28
Journals: 4
Recent Journal
Art Trade? (G)
10 years agoSome things to know about me:
FA-Roleplayers 
female 
MastersofFA
slavesoffa 
FA-Roleplayers
female
MastersofFA
slavesoffa Okay now when I say art trade I mean, I post my amazon list here, and if you buy me something depending on it's worth I will draw for equal value. I wont work until my list updates and tells me the item has been shipped. I refuse to get dooped. I will however warn that there are some... adult things in this wishlist. I mean hey, a girl needs to have fun too. And for those of you whom have fantasies of this Sergal gal can fap to those thoughts of the naughty side of my wish list. So think of it like this. Fap materiel, Art work, and I get my item. It's a win, win, win. All around, win orgy. Lol but really guys I am being serious here. There are some adult items in this wishlist so look at your own risk. I apologized in advanced if some things are too.... harsh for your eyes.
https://amzn.com/w/385MXFQBGKK0H
For most sizes I like to go extra big. I like my clothing fitting loosely around me to not constrict. I have thin vain and my clothing has cut off circulation a few times. I also have broad shoulders, and a wide rib cage, boobs don't help either.
SERGAL FAMILY TREE!
Husbando
User Profile
Accepting Trades
Yes Accepting Commissions
Yes Character Species
Sergal
Contact Information
ScorpianX0
~scorpianx0
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