‘Cause Miley said so.


Just posting again ‘cause I figure it’s been a while. I’m gonna be goin’ on vacation next weekend, up to Ginnie Springs, FL, for my Dad’s 50th Birthday. I’m real excited for it!

Also work is going very well. Making good sales and bringing in new clientele with the ol’ Dustin Ray charm. :B

Anywho, hope y’all have a lovely day and stay hydrated! >:c

Hey folks! Hope you all are doing well, enjoying life, staying safe, and not panic buying gas.

So, I kinda hinted in a previous journal that I did manage to land myself a nice little job, but I’m not sure I really went into the details of what exactly my job is, so I figure I’d share a little about this shop I work at.

Essentially, the store I work at is a smoke shop, but instead of selling prepackaged, brand-name cigarettes, we sell loose tobacco that you then roll into filters using a small machine. Meaning you still get the flavor and nicotine that you’d get in your standard cigarette, but there’s no harsh chemicals like carpet glue and fiberglass. It’s essentially a marginally healthier option than just buying a pack of Newports.

Granted, I imagine a lot of you reading this may think, “Well, why not quit entirely?” Well...because people like cigarettes. People genuinely enjoy the flavor of what we’re selling, and that’s why our customer base is so loyal and supportive of the store. I myself am more of a disposable vape dude (which is probably worse lol), so I’m not exactly consuming what I sell. XD

That being said, we also sell glass pipes, dab rigs, rolling papers and hemp wraps, and we’ve been slowly incorporating Delta-8 products into our CBD stock. So, that’s pretty cool I guess.

Honestly what makes this job so great is that I actually know and trust my boss, who’s more like a friend rather than your standard boss, but she basically gave me the easiest shift imaginable. Working from 5-10pm means that a lot of folks who come in tend to buy small items, but as people grow aware of the store being open later, I imagine it’ll start to pick up. I mean, I’m 3 weeks in and I’ve already gathered a customer base of my own and befriended loyal and long-time regulars.

It’s been an amazing social experience so far and I can’t say I’ve ever been this happy to actually be working. It’s easy money, I actually enjoy the work that I do, and the customers are friendly and chill as hell. It’s really awesome.


Anyway, on that note, it is getting late here, so I have to get to bed. I hope to chat with y’all again soon and get back to makin’ content! :P

You guys truly are amazing. I can’t thank y’all enough for your overwhelming support.

I’ve been working a dayjob at a shop that my friend owns, and has been super generous in her help and support as well. Because of this, however, I’ve unfortunately got a lot more time that I have to dedicate to work, so if I’m a bit silent on DMs from here on out, don’t be offended, please.

With that said, I do hope to do more audio projects in the near future for you lovely folks, and with the latest release of  sangriasnake’s free inflation audio pack, I plan on making some BIG projects in the near future, pun totally intended! ;P

Anywho, I love you all, Happy belated 4/20, and I hope you all take care and stay safe n’ healthy!

Probably bellies... >.\\\.>


Anyways, Happy belated JC Res Day. As you probably could tell from the previous entry, things have been rather intense for me as of late. Having very little to do around the house means I’m essentially going stir crazy, especially with the family drama that runs rampant around the house. My mood hasn’t been the most stable as of late, but I’m fixin to change that.


On another note, ya boi’s gonna finally get back into the work force! Gonna be working the closing shift for a local smoke shop that we regularly visit, and the owner was kind enough to offer me the position without needing an interview and stuff. Proprietary ownership rocks! :D

So I’ll finally be getting some muns together, which means I’ll be able to get some stuff to create new and cool artsy stuff! I also want to get a YouTube channel together where I do music reviews and art studies, so I got a lot of goals in mind!


In the meantime, I’m just taking it one day at a time, and enjoying the bits of peace that I have in between all the chaos. I’m hoping you’re all doing well, staying safe, and staying healthy. Much love to y’all!

April 2017: Ugh, things are tough.

April 2018: This year sucks already, dude!

April 2019: Everything’s gone to shit.

April 2020: Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

April 2021: I want to die. c:

I want to say so much about the socioeconomic and political climate in my country right now, but chances are no one will care what I think.

All I can say is CAN HUMANITY GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS TIME LOOP

Hey, everybody! Dustin here to remind y'all that I'm not dead! I've also been fortunate enough to avoid the big scary virus going around, so I'm happy to say all is well over here!

That being said, with so little to do, and so few pals I know that like discussing this sort of thing, I figured I'd post a lil' thing here just for fun.

So, lately I've been really interested in superheroes and the comics they come from, and although my collection of comics are limited, I have watched a lot of content lately featuring my favorite superheroes, and ones I've never even heard of! So, it begs the question to my followers:


Which superheroes/superheroines are your favorite? It doesn't matter if they're from Marvel or DC!


One of my long-time favorites has always been Spiderman, mostly because his powers seem to look the most fun and useful. That, plus his alternate universe selves are pretty epic too! (Noir Spiderman being my fave of them all.)

Lately though, I find Batman and Superman both very interesting in recent years. Superman representing the just and righteous side of justice, while Batman represents the darker, more cynical views on justice.

The villains are always fun too! Usually having thematic elements specific to their character, whilst also having a relatability and unpreditability that makes them so interesting. The most notable example being everyone's favorite clown, the Joker.


Of course there is a damn near infinite number of Superheroes from multiple different IPs and universes, so feel free to sound off in the comments and tell me some of your faves! All opinions arewelcome, controversial or not!

Decided to close for coms rn. I'm not in the best place mentally to say I'm confideny enough to open for them. Plus I gotta kinda revise me prices n whatnot, heck, I might even get back into practicing me drawin's.

Anywho, just gonna take some self-healing time for now. I know I'm not exactly the most consistent dude around, but then again in times like these, shit's just weird. Dealing with familial issues at home has really drained me physically and mentally, especially when it comes to my weirdly-sociopathic, unintentionally(?) abrasive and manipulative Grandmother. My nightmares have been getting more vivid and much worse, I've been failing to take any sort of care of myself, and to be brutally honest my room pretty much represents how I feel about my life: cluttered and in total disrepair. My curtains are blankets thumb-tacked to the wall, the lighting and air circulation sucks, and there's a disturbing amount of negative artifacts left behind from the time it was my Grandfather's OFFICE.

Yeah...I don't think a couple of dreamcatchers are gonna do much good when I'm sleeping in your late, abusive Grandfather's office, who literally killed himself out of frustration with my Grandmother and his failing business.


Like many of us all over the world, this year broke us. Yet in light of the Holiday season, and at the lowest depths of my life, I actually felt human for the first time in a long time. It took lots and lots of tears and a talk with my Mom, but I finally realize how much I've been ignoring everyone's advice, and just how lazy I got in terms of self-care. Slowly, my soul pieces itself back together as I try to make sense of the pain I'm feeling, and I'm finally opening my eyes to how life could be if I did the right things.

I know that probably sounds campy as shit, but it's 10 o'clock at night here and I had a bad day, so....BWAAH. >:c

2020's alnost over, guys. We'll make it!

Frosty gettin' L I T out here!

Was gonna open coms, but eh, kinda not in a good place, mentally...

Happy Halloween


...feelin like a sexy balloony werewulf rn...



(Also that title is no joke. I'm so playful tonight I awoo'd at the moon xD)

Hey, guys, it's about 11 pm over on my end, and I'm typing this real quick just to prove I'm not dead. :P

Matter of fact I'm feeling a lot better now that I got the right combination of meds in my system. It's still touch-and-go from time to time, but that's usually when I forget a dosage or two once in a while. Either way, things are pretty busy here on my end, and I've not really felt much inspiration to write stuff.

That being said, I did happen to strike a lucky deal with my former Drama teacher from High School, and she was kind enough to help me publish an article on mental health stigmas, which you can read by clicking here. It's a bit personal, and I do feel as though I could've paced it a bit better, but that's just me. ^^;

With this, as well as new motivation from a friend I reunited with, I'm feeling confident enough to get back into my forté, as well as getting back into a job. Chances are I'll be pretty deeply focused on that in the near future, but I'm also going to make a concentrated effort to be more active online as well.

I'm not gonna lie, I've been a lazy butt for way too long now, and basically what my TL;DR for this is "I'm gonna be workin harder, which could mean me being online more often or less often, depending on how crazy shit gets."


Love you all, hope you're stayin safe and beautiful.

..oh, and wash yer fookin' hands and wear a mask! Keep your droplets to yerself! :v

Chadwick Boseman, a.k.a the Black Panther, passed away from cancer at 43.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/28/.....eman-dead.html


Wakanda forever, brother. ✊😭

Bring on the cake and balloons!

Yep, that time of year again. August 1st, I'll have leveled up past the young adult bracket and into full-on adulthood.


I would say I'm excited, but tbh this year's been dreary as shit for everyone, so I don't really expect it to be anything special. ^^;


I will however be working on some personal therapeutic projects to help with the emotional damage I've been feeling for a long time now. Then hopefully I'll finally make something worth sharing. :/



I'm sorry, I wish I was more active on here.

So, uh, wassup y'all?

2020 continues to suck, as usual, however in the midst of chaos I found a fun new thing for me to play around with!

So there's a form of woodworking known as Whittling, and it basically involves carving designs into wood, using a half-chisel half-shovel type tool to make all sorts of cool and fun designs! I tried my hand at it for the first time today, and I caught on so fast even my Mom was impressed! (She's where I get my artistic skills from, so that says a lot!)

In other words, I'll be posting new content soon, it'll just be much different from the usual! :3

Had a rather blushy, huffy moment today


Went to put on a shirt that fit last month, found my belly bulging out of the bottom...

...and my belly's got that little divot in the underbelly.


>///////>


...I need a burger, or thirty~

Alright, well, this has been a long time coming, and I'm not gonna lie, it's taken me a lot of courage to muster this up and say this, but I feel as though now it's more important than ever, not just to myself, but to you guys, too.


If it isn't already obvious, I really haven't been taking care of myself for quite a while now. Despite months of cognitive distortion therapy and group meetings, I've fallen into the same ditch as before, only deeper now. Booze, buds, and lazing around has been what takes up most of my spare time. (That is, when I'm not tackling Mount Dishmore.) I barely get any exercise, I don't take time out of my day to make art of any kind or do anything productive for that matter, and I've been blaming my living environment for the longest time for it. Yet now I realize what my biggest downfall is:


My lack of patience and understanding with my Grandmother.


Yes, she's a big ball of stress and drama. Yes, she's vindictive and manipulative. Yes, she says things that would break even the strongest of hearts and anger the most peaceful of folk. However, that being said, I know what her background is. She had the silver spoon treatment her whole life, everything handed to her on a silver platter. Hell, she was given a fucking YACHT for her high school graduation party! Needless to say, she never really got to experience the true nature of how life works, and seeing as she's been retired for decades, and since my Grandfather used to do everything for her, she developed these habits and bad social skills over a long period of time.


But the most important thing I need to keep in mind is...well, she's old. She's 71 going on 72 this year. What kind of horrible person am I to treat her like shit? If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't exist, my Mom would never have been married for 25+ years, and my Dad would definitely not be here. Whether I want to admit it or not, she is the foundation of our lives, and on top of which is the rightful owner of the house that we live in.


Honestly the more I talk about it the angrier I want to be with myself, but the fact that I could recognize this before it was too late means I can hopefully redeem myself. I want to finally start taking care of myself, get back to doing what I love. I need to find some sort of way to earn some cash to help go to the household, so I might just end up opening for commissions soon enough.


So, as the title says, I need to take care of myself a lot more, have more patience with my Grandma, and be understanding of those that I'm surrounded by every day.


Let us all stick together. Let us all dance in the rain while others weather the storm and make the most out of what we got now. Cause tomorrow is never certain.

The darkest days have only just begun for me.


I mean, this would be a normal Wednesday by our family's standards, but it got personal tonight, and I saw how much we have mentally deteriorated.



Well, bring it on, it's not like I already carry a ton of anger and anguish.



...


...maybe I'm just not strong enough to deal with this alone.


I'm sorry, everyone...


Forgive my extreme and excessive whining. I'm in a dark place, and I'm almost certain it's gonna get worse.

Yep


We're livin in it



What a time to be alive




...I feel unsafe in my own house at night now

I went to look for fun furry artwork on the old Twitter


Instead I was inundated with videos of the mass lootings and civilian gun violence taking place because of police brutality and racism


....


...humans never fucking learn. :/



_{Sorry, y'all, I'm a hippie, I can't handle this political shit.}

My Grandmother finally showed her true, disgusting colors tonight


She blamed my Father for my Granddad's suicide and my Uncle's untimely "car accident" death


My Father told me to "suck it up and be a mam" and "not to throw drama in his face" because I opened up about my nightnares and psychological damage


So yeah, excuse me if I'm a bit apathetic and cynical from this day onward

to the way things used to be.

I know, we all want that right now, and I'm certainly not the first to say that this is about the worst time to be on Planet Earth right now. I'm sure your roommates/family are driving you crazy, too. They've certainly driven me to madness, seeing as I can't go 2 hours without having a minor aneurysm. Of course a big portion of that is my own undoing - I usually let it get to me because of how badly I want to fix everything for everyone, which is about the worst mindset anyone could have, but I digress.

About two nights ago, I had one of the deepest bouts of pure anguish after another falling out with "thou-who-shall-not-be-named" for the millionth time, but something about this cry was particularly painful, and that's when it hit me: the last time I cried like this, my Nana had just passed away. It was one of those screaming cries that you just can't hold back anymore. I could feel 6 years of pain and agony pouring out of my eyes as it overtook me entirely. Minutes later, I felt numb; no pain, no happiness, just...complete indifference.

Now as bad as this sounds, it was very comforting to be indifferent, and I realize now more than ever that stressing to such a degree is terrible for my physical and mental health. I have to look into a doctor of some kind, someone I can speak to about my problems. If anything I want an evaluation to see what other things have developed.

Anyways...I'm just hoping you guys are ok, and I want you to know just how much I love you all.

Deleted that shit lol


I'm really overdramatic when i'm sad


Sorry if I scared yall


This whole scenario's getting to me. I'm gonna just go to sleep and I'll be ok in the morning.

Hey y'all, just dropping a journal to let y'all know I'm doing ok, and wishing that everyone is safe and well. Things have been crazy, but we WILL make it through this. I guarantee it. ^^

In the meantime, I've been getting rather plump thanks to plenty of nummy snacks that we've been indulging in lately, and I honestly feel really good about my body type and size. I feel like a big jiggly waterballoon and it's awesome. X///3

I may post a belly pic (and maybe even one of the morphs I did x3) sometime soon, if y'all are interested. ^///u///^