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Logbook Entry #189: Christmas Eve!
Posted 11 years agoI guess it's that time of year again, eh? X3
Honestly, Florida sucks. It's Christmas eve and I'm sweating my ass off. My poor tree looks sickly as all hell, and it just really doesn't look like Christmas around here, nor does it feel like Christmas. Then again, I have my Grandparents to blame for that, those cynical old farts.
Despite this, it's still the day before the birthday of Christ, so eh…yeah! Happy 2014'th birthday, Jesus! X3
Hope all of you are having a nice holiday so far, and hope tomorrow brings about good food and pleasant surprises! Happy Holidays to all of you!Logbook Entry #188: Still Confused About Genders
Posted 11 years agoLook…I know I've already kicked myself for doing this before, but god damn it, even after I'm given advice on how to comment on images I still think males are females and females are males. I want to kick myself; just slam my foot deep into my prostate for constantly showing that I don't have any bearing on gender identities.
Ok, now, now, I know: I shouldn't put myself down for making a simple mistake, one that it's okay to make time and time again, but there is one reason why I upset myself over this. One: I already know that if I can't tell what gender it is, just read the tag, or just say "This is cute." Two: God damn it, READ THE FUCKING TAGS, KEYWRODS, SO MANY INDICATIONS OF GENDER ARE RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF MY FACE!!!!
Three: By commenting on a picture and showing that you don't even know what gender the character is, you're not only showing that you haven't taken the time to thoroughly look at the character and the description before you comment, but you're also disrespecting the artists' skills.
The reason I'm bringing this up is because this happened on one of my beat friend's (
) images, and even though the character clearly had no boobs, and the keywords and description clearly indicated that the character was a male, I still referred to the character as a she without even knowing the mistake I made.
I know, I shouldn't think myself as being blind, nor should I punish myself for making a mistake like this. Hell, there are characters on F.A that are meant to be traps! However, if I am to comment on an image that is clearly giving details on what gender the character is and I then proceed to refer to the character as the opposite gender, then I'm either commenting too quickly and eagerly, or I'm just fucking blind.
All I can say is that I'm glad that Grav didn't take it to heart and that he forgave me for my mistake without even being md at me for it.
Guys, if I do this again, I'm going to cry…seriously. The dministration should tke my privelege to post comments away, because clearly I don't know proper comment ettiquette.
Logbook Entry #187: This Christmas…
Posted 11 years agoI can't stop saying it, but this Christmas, god has given me the best gift anybody could ever give. My fate has changed for the better, and my life is starting to take a turn for the better. I've had the worst time in my entire life, and finally, we're finding some solace, some sanctuary, and for the first time in my life, god is giving me a 100% satisfaction guarantee.
Today's gotten off to a rough start, and I almost - keyword being almost - went off on my Grandfather this morning. I injured my leg on the dishwasher, damn near broke my leg, and he has the nerve, the old, frail fart that he is, to tell me to be quet while he tries to work. This simple act of disrespect had me teetering on the edge of a cliff, a cliff that landed me a spot in the mental hospital last Christmas…on this exact day…
You know what, though? This Christmas is different. I promised my Mother that I would not let either one of them bother me today, and even on the edge of the cliff, I kept all of the confidence I had and pulled myself back up onto steady ground. Fuck what he has to say, fuck what she has to say, and fuck whatever either one of those two are doing. God taught me how to be patient, and at this stage in my life, I refuse to let HIM or my family down. (And no, I don't count either one of my Grandparents as family anymore.)
There is still much to learn from life, and many more lessons for the lord to teach me. For now, though, I am keeping a promise that I have never been able to keep before. That promise is that I will never, ever, in the rest of my days, lose my patience, and this new skill that I have obtained will be with me until the day he takes me to heaven.
Happy Holidays, everyone, and may Christ celebrate his birthday with the world in peace and joy.Signal Boost: WHERE IS SHE?!
Posted 11 years ago
She should be in your watching list!
Logbook Entry #185: Ventilation System
Posted 11 years agoSo, as you can probably guess from the title, this is going to be another one of those journals. Basically, it's just going to be me bitching and complaining about stupid shit. This is going to be a really negative journal, and I hate to post journals such as this one, but I feel like this is the only way I will be able to express my feelings. This doesn't need to be on the internet, perhaps, but whatever, people do it all the time on here, so yeah.
I know I say that all the time, but there is a really big reason why I say this all the time. I hate posting vent journals solely because I myself, as a user of the internet, hate listening to people complain. I know, some people need to vent, even myself, but I don't like posting these because whenever I read or listen to complaints, I myself begin to feel that negativity. It rubs off on me, transfers to myself, whatever way you want to put it, but I feel stressed out whenever I listen to someone else complaining about things that are happening. I do it anyways, though, and I do it to help you guys out and make you feel better, and that's why I say to the people who read this, more power to you. You may choose to skip over this journal, and you can opt out of reading it, so if you don't want my suffering to wear off on you guys, I don't blame you.
With that said, I have a lot on my plate, and I'm going to tear someone a new asshole, so prepare for a load of bitching.
Today was another really stressful day in the household. I had been off my medication for two good days, and having just recovered from a massive withdrawl, I think I was...mentally drunk. I couldn't walk properly, I fumbled around with everything I touched, and I just could not function properly. Even now, as I type this, I still struggle to use the keyboard without making fifteen typos in each sentence! That's besides the point, though. I slept through half the day, and when my parents got home, I looked forward to enjoying their company, which I always do, only to be disappointed and let down because they don't want to do anything. Reasonably so, as they work retail at Advance Auto Parts.
Lately, though, my parents have been...acting up. My Father's been really snappy, and I worry that my Mother's devolving into alcoholism, the same thing that fucked up my Grandparents, and when I talk about them, all that I have to say about them is bad things. So, knowing that my Mother might be an alcoholic scares me. Tonight, the stress was so bad that I almost flipped my lid, and I just couldn't take all the stress. My Mother was on the porch talking really loudly on her cell phone to a friend she hasn't seen in ages, but my Grandmother was upset because my Grandfather was sleeping. Because my Father knows that Granddad is like a sleeping bull that unleashes wrath upon the family for waking him, he tried to keep the peace within the house by giving her a lecture about talking on the phone.
Oblivious to all of this, I had decided I wanted to hang out on the patio and see what was going on. As I went to close the door, however, I stumbled over and struggled to close the door behind me. With my mom "screaming" on the phone (which she wasn't doing but fucking whatever), my Dad snapped at me and told me to shut the door. This pissed me off because he clearly saw me stumble and struggle to close the door, but he decides to be a cock about it anyway and just snaps at me because he's pissed off about what was happening, which I did not know about because I was very obviously wearing headphones.
You know, sometimes, I just want to pull a Maya Angelou and just stop talking for 17 years. I just want to shut up and stay in the garage and do nothing, because every time I open my mouth, all that follows is trouble. My Granny snapping at me or being all cynical, or one of my parents saying something dumb or telling me to shut up because Granddad's sleeping. So, just fuck all of my input, I should just shut up and go into the garage and beat off or something. I swear, I feel like the only person in this house who isn't trying to start a fight all the time. Everyone's just fucking jerking off because the holidays are here and they want to have fun so they ruin everyone else's day. Just- fuck everything.
Now, I get a lot of comments from people who say, "But they're your Grandparents," or "Enjoy them while they're here, because they won't be around much longer." To that I have to say, "Good for them." Those two old, wrinkly farts have mistreated me so badly and have given me such hell that I wouldn't give two shits if they just dropped dead right now. If either one of my Grandparents died, I wouldn't see it as a tragedy, but a spiritual healing, as the one thing that causes nothing but hell in my life has just been removed from me. Call me cold-hearted, if you will, but hear me out:
I have love and respect for every single person who has mistreated me in at least one way, shape, or form. That guy that I got into a fight with on my old account? I still have love and respect for him. That annoying classmate who forces a friendship upon me? I still respect him, he goes through a lot of shit at home, how can I blame him? I have never, nor will I ever again, have a person in my life that I care so little about that their passing would be like water over a duck's back. It is so rare for me to hate a person so badly, and I guarantee you that no human being could ever possibly do what my Grandparents have done to me in my life. You could abandon me on the side of a road in the middle of nowhere, and I'd still have some love and respect for you. You could curb stomp me, but I'd come out of the hospital with a bouquet of flowers for you as a form of apology and to show that I still cared for you. These two polish-American fucks have given me such hell that their death would simply be a blessing to me, and I can guarantee you that such feelings cannot be replicated.
I'm extremely sorry that you guys were able to read such a terrible thing, but these are my feelings, and I can promise you that nobody, and I mean nobody, could ever make me feel so apathetic and austere. I'm sorry, but this is just how I feel. I have to thank them for one thing, though, and that is that they taught me patience. They taught me patience for all the wrong reasons, and despite my deep, unwavering hatred for them, they still taught me the most important lesson in my entire life, and for that, I can thank them, even if they're a waste of my time and my bane. So, even with such apathy, I can still thank them.
Thank you for reading this, if you did. You guys have been so good to me, and I apologize if I seem evil for having such hatred for my own relatives. I feel bad for saying such terrible things on the internet, but this is just how I feel.Logbook Entry #184: Christmas Vacation!
Posted 11 years agoIn the words of Ozzy Osbourne himself, "It's about fucking time!"
Gosh…how I needed this damn vacation. Two weeks of good, quality time with my family and friends. No school, no annoying classmates to bother me, just me, my family, and my pets. The holidays are coming up, life is getting better, and 2015 is promising to be an even better year for my family and I.
Mid-Terms this year were a little scary, but I passed all of them, and because I have such a good grade in my Math class, I've automatically been exempted from my Math exam, even if I didn't turn in the exemption form. I mean, golly! I knew I was good with my academics, but being automatically exempted from my test because I'm doing so well in my Math class? I didn't know I was that good!
So, with that, I get to take an extra day off tomorrow, and so it begins! I do have plans on writing lots of stories and raps for you guys, and I'm thinking of doing some free character raffles for Christmas! I have a few characters that I hardly use anymore that I feel like others could do more with, and with the holidays coming up, maybe some other friends could happily use a good fat or inflatable character to do with as they please.
The characters going up for auction will be announced when the image is submitted. I might use the original reference sheets that I made for them a while ago for the auction image, but from there, I think you guys could draw more images of that character, maybe get commissions of them, heck, maybe even write stories about them and their expansive adventures! Oh, and did I mention that they would be free? ^^
However, I will make sure to establish some rules when I upload the image, and if there is somebody that enters the raffle that I din't trust with the character, I may have to pick somebody out of the list. Hey, it may not be too fair, but I want these characters to be used, and if the character is just set aside and nothing is done with them, then the raffle will be totally pointless.
So, withthat, I'd say it's time for a good night's rest. Tomorrow, Christmas Vacation is upon us! ^.=.^
Also, as a bit of a shout-out to all my Jewish friends, Happy Hannukah!Logbook Entry #183: Inflation Fetish Minecraft Mod?
Posted 11 years agohttp://youtu.be/ZDk8FX9_7Ek
Just check out that link above. There's a Penguin that inflates and explodes! X3
Just check out that link above. There's a Penguin that inflates and explodes! X3
Logbook Entry #182: Even More Awesome News!!
Posted 11 years agoAs if life couldn't possibly be shaping up any better, I was offered part-time mainstream at a technical college and high school to study in Web Design and Gaming/Animation/Simulation! I went to the orientation today, and I am loving the sound of these classes they're offering. Basically, all I have left to do is fill out an application, take a really easy test, and by next school year, I'll be in dual-enrollment and will be studying the stuff that I love pre-college!
If you guys don't already know, the last time I've ever been in a non-charter school was second grade…and I'm currently in my junior year.
So…holy dickbutt, Batman! This is awesome!!! ~<3Logbook Entey #181: It's Almost Over… (Amazing News!)
Posted 11 years agoIt's been 3 years since we moved out of our house and back into my Grandparents' place. 3 long, hard, agonizing, tear-jerking, blood-spilling years since I had my own room. 3 years since my parents could sleep together in privacy, in silence. It's been a long time coming, but the tables have finally turned around. With patience, with time, with baby steps, we have finally come close to finishing this hellish marathon. We're almost done dealing with the arguing and the bickering. We're almost done listening to lectures and heads-down sessions. Finally, after all these years I can finally sayhat we are officially moving out. We've settled on a singular date; the day we get our lives back together and start again new:
January 20th, 2015.
This will be the day that all this doom and gloom disappears. This will be the day that my security, my comfort, and my peace will come back into my life. This will be the day our family triangle will reunite, and all this suffering will be worthwhile. My Mom, my Father, and myself; no manipulative, bossy Granny or judgemental, condescending, hypocritical Grandfather to be there and ruin everything…just me, my Mom, and my Father. Indiana will finally have some time indoors away from the bugs and the heat, and Jojo will no longer be confined to the garage for shelter.
It's sad to know that Kutter couldn't live to see this day, and that he died during the worsttime in our entire lives, but at least he's at peace now, and with two of my beloved pets still at my side, we can finally bring back some responsibility, some dignity, and some solace into our lives. It may not be anything too grand, but an apartment flat will be perfectly okay with us. Anything away from these two old farts will be fine with us.
I'm excited, but all I have to do is wait this all out, and finally, I may have all my motivation back. I'll have the courage, the privacy, and the vivacity to get more art and writing done for you guys, and that's why I share this with you today. No more lazy lizard lounging, more creativity and more happiness from your favorite reptilian inflatable.
All I have to say - to each and every single one of you who has put up with my inactivity, my gloominess, and my lack of motivation - is thank you. Thank you for being there for me…for helping me carry on through this trench…and for simply being my friend. I love you all. ~<3Logbook Entry #180: Fellow Music Fanboys, Help Me Out!
Posted 11 years agoHey, everybody! I've been listening to a few songs lately that utilize the sound of dripping water as a form of rhythym, and it makes a really nice beat enhancer. I feel like it gives off a sense of smoothness and almost a refreshing feel. A couple tracks that use this, for example, are C418's "Door," and "Baby Got Back/Anaconda." (I put those two together because they both have pretty much the same beat/rhythym to them. How original of Nicki Minaj to use such a song… -sarcasm-)
Because of this, I wanted to know if you guys knew of any other songs that use such a sound. Be it as part of the drums, a backbeat, or even a recurring sound effect. I'd love to hear more music that do stuff like that, too! So if you furry musicians out there are looking for ideas for a beat, please use a water drip sound as a backbeat! It sounds really pleasant to this balloonie lizard here.Logbook Entry #179: Am I Disturbing…?
Posted 11 years agoHey, guys…I know I worry too often, but I've had a couple of moments lately where I've thought of the possibility that maybe I'm too honest. Perhaps I'm often too open to ideas, or I come off to strongly, or maybe I flirted a little more than I meant to. There are a couple of people on here that I think I scared because I came off too strongly or was too honest about my feelings with them. My honesty has even gotten me into trouble a few times with a couple of users, and I often worry that perhaps I should be a little more reserved and not too outgoing.
So…I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think I'm a disturbing person sometimes. Every now and then I think that I said something the wrong way and that's why nobody comments on certain journals that I post, or perhaps I'm too negative in my vent journals, so nobody wants to read them so that I don't say anything that puts disturbing thoughts into their head, almost as if I'm some ugly person that they saw in their birthday suit, and that's why some people would rather not comment on my journals or reply to certain comments I post.
Again, I am aware that I often worry myself too much, and I just got to the point where I was so proud of my outgoing, vibrant nature, and that my talents often impress and entertain people, but there are my moments where I feel like it can be harmful to me as well. When I have the hots for some character on here, I try to hide it and just say, "Oh, this is lovely!" Though, it's often really hard for me not to show it, I guess.
I don't know, what do you guys think? Am I just shitting myself, or do I have the right to think such a thing?Logbook Entry #178: Winter Show 2014
Posted 11 years agoOur school just had an amazing talent show today. Lots of hard work, time, and dedication came into the production, and half of it were people stepping in to help out, making a majority of it improvised, and despite that, we did the most amazing job we've ever done in a show. No feedback on the microphones, little to no slip-ups, and plenty of support from parents, staff, and even fellow classmates.
So, I was the MC for the show, but I also had several other parts to the show, including an understudy role for a Spoken Word poem (look it up on Google, it's one of the coolest things to have come out of the Harlem Renassaince), a drum performance, and a vocal performance. I played the drums to a jazz cover of Nirvana's "About a Girl" (by Japanese duo Cibo Matto), and "I Put a Spell On You" cover from Creedence Clearwater Revival. I was pretty confident in most of the show, except for the last song, the closing act, involving John Fogerty's high-pitched voice.
See, being a self-taught amateur vocalist, I can't hit those highs that the old man can hit, and so I did a more Jay Hawkins inspired vocal style, but even thatconcerned me because my voice cracked, I couldn't sing properly in the low tones, and I slipped up multiple times. The only thing keeping me from chickening out we a good friend of mine motivating me to do it again. So, I nailed it in the rehearsal, but come time for the show, I did okay, until my voice cracked at the end. Got a little blushy, but people enjoyed it nonetheless, and people said I was a major highlight of the show. I'm not an egotist or anthing, but I'd say so myself. It was rather quiet until I stepped in. -chuckles-
So, with that said, I may get back to writing more poetry and raps, which are my new favorite types of things to write. The more I write, the better I get, at least, that's what I think.
Other than that, some family issues have been coming up lately. My Uncle's gotten into trouble, and it's affecting my Mom, my Dad and I in really negative ways. I don't want to talk about it too much because I feel like that would ruin our privacy, so that's all I'll really say.
I'm excited about the Talent Show, and I'm happy that I'm actually going to have a future, but I'm upset right now because things are starting to get really bad in the family. My Mom and Dad are really getting snappy because of their age, and it's affecting me more than it should. My Grandparents are senile enough, but having them on top of it hurts me a lot. I love them, but their snappiness is killing me.Logbook Entry #177: Sugar = Nope
Posted 11 years agoWell, as it would seem from evidence over the past few days, my tolerance for sugar has completely gone down the drain, along with some stomach contents and whatnot. I stayed home today due to some anxiety problems caused by lack of medications in my system, so I just kinda did some stuff around the house. Cleaned up my "room" a bit, cleaned my school bag up a bit, and downloaded more songs for my caché of music.
So, 4 o'clock rolls around, and it's time for me to eat something and take my pills. So, half an hour after having some crumb cake, I havetwo slices of cheese pizza, some iced tea, and a few Little Bites brownies. I didn't do a whole lot after that, however the dozziness came back, along with my nausea. What happened? I took my pills, I relaxed, and I ate! Didn't take me too long before I came to a conclusion.
Whatever I've been different over the past month or so has lowered my tolerance for sugar. You see, sugar never really affected me in a severe way. If anything, sugar made me tired. However, on that note, it did give me a bit of problems with nausea, but never on this scale. Something tells me that this newer routine, more exercising, more water, less sugar, something I've done recently has lowered my tolerance for sugar, and now ingesting what I would normally ingest makes me sick. So, have I somehow inadvertently made progress in my goal of dropping weight?
Well, with my nauseated state, I decided not to risk vomiting again, so I didn't work out at all this evening. However, this newfound discovery excites me. I made progress? Fatty foods are affecting memore than ever! I can't eat Wendy's, Burger King, or anything sugary without getting sick. Sugar affects me negatively, and now I can barely live without taking at least a bottle or two of water a day. Celery and carrots are more appetizing than they've ever been in my life, and…all of a sudden, everything's coming together! Chubby, fatty Dustin's finally making a stand and making changes in his life!
I could not possibly be happier with myself. With some more exercising, less sugar, and more water, this dream of becoming the healthier, less weighty person, might no longer be a dream and may even be a reality! What if I could finally be the first in my recent family history to fight back against obesity? My energy's coming back, my mind is more open to things, and my idea of fun is becoming less oriented towards video games and more towards active exercise and maybe even sports!
I'm sorry if this is a bit random, you guys, but things are happening in my life right now that are massive changes and leaps towards personal goals. I've been procrastinating less and less, I've been eating with diet in mind, and I've been standing up for myself more often and being less self-depreciating. I'm actually…changing! I'm growing up! I'm doing more things! I'm less of a child and more of an adult! My life makes more sense the more days go by, and…my god, everything's coming into place!
On top of all of these personal goals, I might be able to spend my last year of High School in a mainstream school! A real school! Not some charter school meant for mentally and academically handicapped children, but a real school! Not even just a High School, but a College! Even if it's for half of the day, it's still a huge leap for me! I haven't been in a real school since 2nd grade, and here I am now, readier than ever to actually move on and go to a real high school, with real work, and with real-world people! I'm just so excited I could burst with jo- Oh…
-inflates and explodes-Logbook Entry #176: File Corrupted
Posted 11 years agocolor=lime]This file has been corrupted.[/color]Logbook Entry #175: Well, what to do now?
Posted 11 years agoSo, remember how I was so adamant about losing weight and gaining muscle? Well, I'm not sure I really kept that personal promise. In a sense, I gave up, but just for the moment. For Christmas, I'm planning on going to Dick's Sporting Goods and getting some Everlast Boxing items, including a punching bag and some gloves to help work out my upper arms, but that still doesn'thelp me with my waist.
There's too much temptation around the house for me to watch what I'm eating, and even at my school, they offer me cookies and candies and all sorts of other crap. I don't know what to do about it anymore.
At this point, I'm starting to blame my fat fetish for my current weight. I want to gain muscle and actually make progress to be the first in my family who isn't obese, but at this point, I feel like it's too much for me, and perhaps not worth all of it since I idolize fat anyways.
So…what do I do now? Should I keep my personal promise, or should I become a gainer in the fat sense?Logbook Entry #174: Christmas Wishlist Meme
Posted 11 years ago~Step 1:
Make a post in your journal containing your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple to really big. The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
If you wish for real-life things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where folks could get in touch with you.
~Step 2:
Surf around other lists to see who has posted their list. If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream for free--do it. You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call. There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special!
~Step 3:
Make a List!
1. Grand Theft Auto V for the Playstation 3
2. Fursuit of Dustin Bach
3. A Home for my Parents and I
4. iPhone (Or any smartphone I can get my claws on.)
5. Meet my Furry friends IRL
6. For 2015 to be a better year than 2014.
7. To Improve on my Writing and my Artwork
8. Get some Community Service Hours Done
9. To mainstream to Atlantic Technical School
10. Most importantly, to have as much fun as possible next year.Profile Information Update: Furry Speed Dial and Group List
Posted 11 years agoProfile information has been updated!
Now displaying will be a list of groups and a speed-dial of most of my friends.
I can't list everybody, but speed-dial has been optimized for mobile viewing.**At least, I think it looks like a number pad. :PSignal Booster: Make a Fur Happy this Christmas
Posted 11 years agoA really good friend of mine, Pat, really wants an icon commission from PalmarianFire, but cannot commission it for himself. If anybody could spare some cash this holiday season for a fellow fur, I'm sure he would be elated and would love you forever. >3<
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6322269/Logbook Entry #171: Another Inspirational Entry & Update
Posted 11 years agoSometimes, being the deep thinker that I am, I often look at myself and judge things based on a big scale. The bigger canvas, the infinite white board, the vast wall in which paintings form another painting, that then turns into another painting. At the end of another day that turned out as a same-shit-different-day kind of affair, I turned to my inception easel and began to think.
My life has always been in a strange spot in the spectrum of highs and lows. I'm not rich, I'm not middle class, and I'm not low class. Never really a half, a whole, a quarter, or a third, neither have I been an eigth, a sixteenth, or a one-hundreth. Somewhere between 5/14ths and 3/19ths. I often try to picture myself if I had spent myself stuck on one of the more identifiable parts of this ruler, such as the lowest of the low, or the highest of the high. What would my moralities have been if I lived the life of a rich person? What suffering would I go through if I was truly in poverty and had no food, no shelter, and no clothes on my back? What if I was somewhere in between rich and poor? What if I really was a 3/4 or a 5/8ths? Who would I be? Why would I do the things that I'd have done?
To this I can only think that my place in the spectrum is a rather special spot. I've had a taste of the middle class, being born with a brass spoon in my mouth, per se. I've seen death in the family at a young age, I've seen the effects of drugs and alcohol on a person, I've witnessed and experienced trauma, and right now is the lowest point of my life. All of my energy, my happiness, my motivation, and my "spunk" has been drained from me because of my current point on the spectrum. I've had more money before, and the amenities I have now at least do their job in entertaining me. Still I cry, I curse, I get frustrated, I get depressed, I get angry, I dig deeply into myself and try to understand things that no human being can understand.
The only thing I can truly understand for now is that where I'm at right now will eventually shape me to become a much better person. Had I been on the lowest end of the spectrum, I'd either be dead or starving or plain stupid. Had I been on the highest end of the spectrum, I'd be bossy, greedy, and spoiled. Even the brass spoon had me spoiled for a while until my Uncle was killed. So, I can thank this odd number out of the ruler for who I am as a person. I'm smart, yet unorganized. I'm talented, yet misunderstanding at times. I'm kind, but easily miffed. This odd balance system has kept me being the person that I am, and you know what?
I'm proud of that.
__________
So, I am going to start pushing myself more often to write and to draw. I've been wanting to put so much onto paper and so much into my computer that I've never had the chance to. I promise you guys that [b]I will be far less lazy than I have been.[/ I'll probably have to kick myself in the cock a few times before that happens, but I can promise yout it will happen.
Also, to those of you who have been wanting to RP with me on Skype, I am so sorry that I haven't been online for long enough!!!TV Archives: LazyTown - Icelandic Gold?
Posted 11 years agoAn Icelandic production that's geared towards children, Lazy Town is a live-action TV series that includes puppetry, some minor 3D effects, and a whole lot of energy. The series is designed to teach kids the importance of a good diet and exercise, and while it does lack in educational value (according to various web resources), it does a good job at being a good role model for children, and showing some really good, positive messages.
While we unfortunately cannot provide footage for the TV show, we can display a snippet taken of the English variation of the series.
Click Here.Logbook Entry #169: WiiU's Smash Disappointment
Posted 11 years agoOkay…this may cause a small flame war, but I am extremely dissapointed in the new Smash Bros, and not just because I don't have it. No, I'm over that, no. I watched several videos on the New Smash Bros game, and lemme say, almost everything in this game is re-hashed from Brawl.
The music, the characters, the stages, most of them are re-hashes from Brawl. New music? Not a whole lot, just recycle it from Brawl. New design for Final Destination? Nope. Rehash it from Brawl. New characters? Little Mac, Pac Man, Rosalina, and the Wii Fit Trainer.
Welp, shit. Other than the recent add-in of Mewtwo, there's almost nothing new about the WiiU's Smash Brothers.
I can finally put the jealousy beside and just forget about the new Smash Bros, because I am terribly disappointed in it.Dreamlog Entry #3: The Resistance
Posted 11 years agoThe dream I had last night was absolutely amazing. It involved me, two districts, and a Gattica-inspired prejudice system.
Me, my friends, and my family, we all lived in the lower-class system; a system ruled by British soldiers, a prime minister, and even a king. Our district was referred to as the outcasts*, and we were seen as wild, untamed beasts who did nothing but cause problems for everybody. The other district was more American; well-trimmed, clean, brimming with jobs, and protected by a mafia of sorts. Any outcast who breached the system and went into the other district? The "Guys Dressed in Black" came and took them out, the real Mafioso way.
We were tired of living in a castle, a fortification in which we were forced to wear brown robes and ridiculed day after day by the soldiers, the abusive, douchey soldiers. So, we plotted to escape into the other disctrict and to be free from our prison. Our plan was crazy, but simple, to walk out the front door. Of course, our movement would be impended by the Mafioso and the fact that we can't run in robes and sandals. So, we knocked the crew at the front door out and proceeded to steal their clothing and their shoes before the soldiers came. Then, we simply ran. The night shade hid us from any wandering eyes, and we stayed behind any bush we could find. Once we figured that everything had quieted down, we went into a supermarket to see if we could convince the locals to sell us some food. Of course, the people of this district could simply look at us and know that we were outcasts, and so the GDB were called in. So, I ran alone across the parking lot. I ran faster than I had ever ran in my entire life, and I escaped into the bushes, far into the forest, and outran them until morning came.
Assuming that all my friends had been caught and taken away, I figured I was on my own. I robbed somebody's house and took their clothes, their comb, trimmed up my hair and my beard, and went out to find some work. With no documents and no papers, I was sure that finding a job would be impossible. Besides, when I found a coffee shop to work in, the people suspected that I was an outcast, even after I had cleaned up and wore typical district clothing. Somehow, I got the job, and I was off working. I made drinks, I cleaned up the store, and I took out the trash. Typical job, I thought, and life actually seemed pretty good at this point.
Vandalism had been reported all across the district, and everybody was pointing fingers at anybody who looked like an outcast. I had tried to stay as calm, and seem the least suspicious as I possibly could. However, one day, when I went into the back of the store, I saw something I couldn't believe; a giant tentacle had broke through the ceiling, and there were alien beings who were plotting to invade our planet. After showing intense bravery and shooing off the aliens, the locals saw me as some sort of hero, but people also became suspicious. My nature, the wild display of power I had shown, people began to believe that although I was a hero, that I was also an outcast. The GDB came in and questioned me, asking me where I came from, how I had taken them on, and where my friends were. I answered calmly, and they finally had come to believe that I was an outcast that had escaped into the system. Though, seeing that I had shown enough bravery to take on otherworldly beings, they accepted me into the other district. This new knowledge that my friends were still out there, though, made me curious. Should I stay a local hero, an outcast within the rest of the world, or go back to life as an outlaw?Logbook Entry #167: Bank Account! Hippie, or Hipster? & More
Posted 11 years agoThat is the first time I have ever maxed out the title perfectly on the first attempt. :o
So, today I have officially acquired what I have needed for a long, long time. I got my first bank account! This is my first step to hopefully start taking and recieving commissions from friends. Although, I have a rather important set of questions: Can I transfer money to paypal users just by having a bank account, or do I need an account via paypal in order to make such transactions? If so, is it dangerous and untrustworthy?
Either way, I'm really happy. The lady who helped to get me started was totally cool about it, she helped guide me through it, and even helped to give me wonderful financial advice. There was even an option to personalize credit cards by allowing me to put personal photographs on the card! Of course, my computer was being a twat and resizing the images incorrectly, 'cause the website was rather anal about the "No less than 1050 x 672 pixels" rule. Other than that, it was alright, and I'm on the road to becoming a grown adult. ^^
With that said, I ran into a few interesting thoughts recently about my overall style in terms of culture. I never really placed myself within a culture based on music, race, or religion, but lately I've been noticing personality traits that could place me in one of two categories of culture:
• The Hipster Culture - I like the alternative scene, I like wearing different clothes (as long as they'recomfortable), I find glasses' frames fashionable, and I like a lot of alternative music. Plus, whenever I introduce people to the furry fandom and music that is rather obscure, I get a sense of pride and joy in such an action. Plus, I've been wanting to get a job at Starbucks to get me into the work force.
• The Hippie Culture - I'm mellow, I'm happy, I like the concept of peace on Earth, I'm very outgoing and try to spread cheer to everyone I meet, and I'm overall a very hippie type of guy.
So, what do you guys think about all of this? Leave a comment below and give this silly lizard some feedback, because silly things like this are important to me.
While you do that, do you like me posting journals in this color type? If so, I can use it to make my journals more unique, and to kind of give it a running theme. If not, then I can just go back to normally colored centered text.
Happy post-Thanksgiving! *rubs my fat belleh*Logbook Entry #166: My Favorite Inflation Videos
Posted 11 years agoLogbook Entry #165: Thankful for Life
Posted 11 years agoThis Thanksgiving, I want to share some things that I'm most thankful for in this world of ours. These are things that help me sleep at night, things that help to keep me going. Here are just a few of the many things I can thank the Universe for:• My Friends - Every single one of you; furry, and non-furry, whether via internet, Skype, or even IRL, I can thank god that for somebody who is loud and boisterous, has an odd mind set and some flaws that I'm not proud of, there are many, many people who can accept me for who I am, desire to spend time with me, and instantly want to gravitate to me for a good time, for laughs, for help, and for love. Thank you guys, all of you, for the simple little things you do.
• My Food - As cliché as it is to say this, I absolutely love food. I love to eat, and- well, it kind of shows. That's besides the point, though. We have sufficient funds to keep food in my stomach, and when I'm hungry, I can easily turn to my pantry, my refridgerator, and my freezer for a meal, a drink, and even a snack or dessert. Every single time I get to eat is a time I can quiet down and just enjoy any foodstuff I consume. Even if I do scarf it down, it's still sustenance for my body to function properly, and keep me fat and happy.
• Drinkable Water - Mmm…sweet, sweet water. ~<3
• Clothing - Another rather cliché one, but the fact that I have comfortable, tight bonds of fibers to cover my scales with is another thing I can appreciate in my life.
• Shelter - Really cliché'd one, but keeping the elements such as rain, bugs, and the scorching heat at bay is something to truly appreciate. (For a scaly, I am most definitely not a fan of Floridian outdoor activities. >.<)
• My Parents - Two of the most wonderful sources of moral support in my life, my life would not be nearly as good as it is today if it weren't for my parents. For the person I am today, for all my morals, for all my smarts, for all my education, I can thank my parents for being there all along. My Nana, unfortunately isn'there anymore, but when she was here, I canthank her, too, for providing some really fun times for me in my life. I love you, Mom, Dad, & Nana ~<3
• Life - Maybe cliché? Anyways, there are simple moments in my day where I'm doing something - for example, vaccuming - and I'll think about the fact that the human body is capable of pushing something that weighs about 40-50 pounds* back and forth, and it impresses me. Simple things like making thr vocal movements that I make, and how loud I can be simply by vibrating a few cords in my throat. This inspires me, and for some reason, it makes me really happy. Somwtimes, the greatest gift in life is simply to be alive and to do the things that I can do. Humans can't do everything, but they can do anything they desire, as long as they work hard on it, focus on it, and show dedication to it. Granted, some humans can more than me, but it's simple things, such as everyday body functions that make me happy to be alive.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm thankful for the simple things in my life. As often as I get jealous, as often as I may complain about my flaws, I often forget just what I enjoy in my life, and as my Mom always taught me, it's always the simple things that matter. So, this Thanksgiving, I'd like to celebrate all the simple things that make life pleasant for us all.
Haply Thankgiving, my fellow furry friends~ <3