I swear I am missing out on life.

I'm STILL trying to find any female in between 25 to 30
that is into furry who ISN'T spoken for because I
feel abandoned by the fandom while trying to get a
car, which is SO out of reach, and driving skills NOONE
seems to have time to teach.

Add to that an ovewhelming feeling that you are so
hopelessly out of luck trying to break out of the
miserable position just to meet those furs, but are to
poor to do so, finding out that your online friends in such
category are getting girlfriends in the BIG CITIES at
the cons THERE... and trying not to get so depressed from
the desperation due to the distance and failure because there
are no furs even remotely near you... and growing more and more
jealous day by day of thier accomplishments.

Plus trying to be totally honest with an old classmate (who is
a non-fur) while worrying about her POV about the furry fandom,
and everything involved with it.

And creative bankruptcy to top it all off.

Some folks on other forums whould call me "attention whore"
if I decided to speak my mind on the boards I go to...

But... what if it were THEM in my position?

I read SunderedMoon's piece on "what is an artist".

My assessment? Drivel.

I like drawing for pure fun. I started off tracing pics
as a kid, but I felt it was an empty effort. Then I
got into art in school, but long after I left school,
it stuck to me. And then I drew for pure fun.

That's something that person probably doesn't care about.

I tend to go in all directions as a cartoonist.

One moment a cute pic, the next, one of extreme
craziness on the paper... so long as I have fun.

Also, art is kinda of a release for some.

Hey. I rather not define art through someone's
generalization...

Ditto with music choices.

I draw for fun. I sometimes learn from other artists
some art techniques, but still I draw for fun.

Just turned 40 today...

Whoopty flippin do.

The pics were finally sold.

Looks like I'm looking at losing
my phone line. Anyway... I need
to sell the pics that I managed to
save from the house repair people.

I don't want to sell the pics that I
have done for here, but give the pics
to the ones I have drawn for.

For the ones that know who I am
talking to, drop me a PM to ship
your pics to you.

Mood: Pissed off

Music: (first choice) "Town without Pity" by Gene Pitney
(second choice) "Love Stinks" by the J. Giles Band
(third choice) "How you remind me" by Nickleback

I swear... I live in a town of people who are
so goddamn blind... but who DOESN'T??!!

I look in envy at the married couples that seem to
have it all... and some of these blind-assed fucknuts
have the nerve to tell me that I'M the lucky one
to NOT BE MARRIED??!!

What in the bloody fucking hell is wrong with this picture?!?!

I swear, these idiots are not getting it. Being single may
be okay, but it gets lonely. REALLY FUCKIN' LONELY.

And if the holidays DON'T remind you,
a co-worker/best friend/someone you know WILL as they
flaunt the pictures of their spouse and the kids.

And then they say ANY of these lines:

"When are you gonna get started on YOURS?

Got married yet?

Got you some kids yet?

And then... someone will say any of these really honest-to-God,
fucked-up beyond any repair lines that just makes me just BOILING mad:

Ohhh, you're lucky you are not married, man."

"Man, you are so lucky to be single."

Man, be glad you aren't married... you won't like it.

Is their marriages so goddamn bad that they say shit like THIS?!?!?!

Or are they saying, "You shouldn't get married because of (insert really shitty excuse here)".

Bad enough I'm pushing 40 and I want to look for someone to love
that doesn't either remind of how a family member
behaves, someone that doesn't reminds me of Dame
Van Winkle from Rip Van Winkle,
or some really psychotic bunny-boiler.

It's worse off when folks want to MAKE SURE you don't get any, PERIOD.

I heard of how dA and how they embroiled
Saburo X because his artwork made the front
page. Expansionism is nothing new. It has been
around when the comics and later in the motion
pictures long before Willy Wonka ( or Charlie)
and the Chocolate Factory. Movies like the Our
Gang series, Three Stooges, and Laurel & Hardy
were into stuff like that, but only in certain movies
and in certain plots. Then there was The Man with The Rubber Head: a silent short movie of a man whose
head was made of rubber, that after it was expanded
and then, thanks to some clown, later exploded! Sure this was
1901 and nothing more than superimposing the film, but
it was long BEFORE special effects ever became
the cutting edge effects we see today.


Then there's the comics and illustrations... Edward Lear
with his limericks had me ROTFLMAO long before the mere
mention of the PC was ever made. Edward Lear's illustrations
showed VORE, of all things! Not the hard vore, but the softer
albeit funnier form of vore and gluttony. If you *DARE* find a
book of his limericks and nonsense in a book store or on
ebay and it has the illustrations, you can see proof positive of
it all. Yes, it is in some form of literarure besides Lear's Limericks,
and Roald Dahl. Lovecraft did so, too.

And I don't see why some folks didn't see it often in the old
Warner Bros., Disney, Terrytoons, Fleisher studios and Metro-
Goldwyn-Meyer cartoons? The vintage cartoons were doing
water and air expansion long ago. Why? For the sight gags to
precipitate the gales of laughter from the viewing audience,
of course!

But sadly, those folks at dA only think of the horrible implication
that someone is busy getting their rocks off at those because they
couldn't see it as past history of a comedy sight gag, but as a
fetish. And so, being trained up in the ways of many internet trolls,
they make scathing and really disparaging flames about the fetish
part of it. Sad, isn't it? They never looked at the past history of
expansionism, and never see it from that P. O. V., but you don't
have to guess about that. I guess the need to suspend belief for even
a brief moment to even think or use thier imagination in that direction
means the end of the world for them.

Whether it's inflating, stuffing, pumping, filling, fattening, or pregnancy
in a media form that isn't hurting anyone, it's just ANOTHER FORM of
SURREALISM.

Did anyone get that word?

Start with the very word surreal, then the art stylings pertaining to surrealism or just
Wiki it to find out. You will see that it is just another form of art.

That's all it is.

Folks say lightning never strikes twice
in the same place...

Well, science says those people are
very much wrong.

I had a HD crash two weeks ago.
Of all the HDs that crashed, it was a
Seagate.

It was like "Same shit, different timeframe"!

Luckily I had a called a guy that sold me a
10 gig for $15.

I mean... can I ask YOU , the reader...

Have you ever had this happen to you?

And I would not consider laughing, if I were YOU.

Last week I was in the process of getting the belated pics of my friends Sslaxx and Shippa ready.

My niece returned home on Monday and begged to use my computer.

Before I knew it, my niece was on MySpace.com,
and then she was complaining about the computer acting up.

When I went into my room. I smelled the scent of fried circuits. I was blaming my niece for the comp problems, like mom did me back in December... EXCEPT I realized I had my comp on the night before, trying to get a download.

I tried to coax my cousins to take me to Beaumont for at least a semi-used HD from Goodwill Computer Depot, but no takers.
Finally, my uncle (who was due for a doctor's appointment) offered a lift there.

I managed to snag a Seagate 4.3 Gig for $10, and and a Win 98 1st edition for $15.

(I needed an OS and I was short on MAJOR
funds to afford anything else. The asking
price of WinXP is nearly $300, tops and that was straight from a Micro$oft rep. No shit.)

Anyway, I tried to get the shit running... took almost (emphasis on ALMOST ) all week and finally had that bad boy running.

Well, I gott scan those pics once more... I hope I get a BIGGER HD soon.

After what happened in that previous post,
I did take time to take that art
pile I had pitched into the dump,
and hide it in two big boxes, storing it in one
of many abandoned cars
that my cousins had.

Will I get them out? Maybe.

On Sunday Feb. 05, 2006...

My mom, my niece, and the local church group
that was repairing on the home we shared found
my art pile. I left before they did so, but I saw them
going through the room that had my stuff in it.

I left home for a while, and returned after evening.

My mom told me that the fellow members of the
congregation looked at what I drew, and said she
was pretty embarrassed of that. She also wanted
to watch me to make sure what art is and isn't fit
to be seen. My nieces wanted to watch this as well.

If I had kept it, my mom and I would be trusted by
the congregation, as well as have my art censored
by my family.

If I didn't, I could not sell my work to Furbid... just
to get a down-payment on an apartment.

Scylla, Charybdis, and I was in the middle.

So... with no other choice, I chucked my art into two
Hefty bags and threw it into the dump.

In light of what happened, if it happened to anyone
else, would you blame me?

I just want an opinion... but first, a scenario:

This fan (no names mentioned, but you know
who I'm talking about) likes his comics and likes
reading them. Then one day... he turns against
those folks he had admired at one time, black-
listing them in his own friends because of many
groundless opinions on it. He's emailed many
folks of the community, telling about the flaws
the comic suffers from and denouncing the author
of the comic strip, topping it off with a PS that
tells the receiver of the email to not bother in
replying to the emsil.

Now, should he left to see the error of his way,
or should I just go about my own business?

I have a question to ask...

I made some pics for this person on Tapestries
out of the kindness of my heart... and out sheer
fan-based enthusiasm.

The first few pics were about what she had written...
but the rest of the pics were of her Taps character.

But then she had a falling out with me, that left
me feeling like a loser for thinking she actually
liked me, and now I want to be rid of that person's
art commissions (that I had
made!) once and for all so I can
move on with my life.

Now, the question that arises is:

Should I sell the pics on Furbid, try to mail the pics to
her, or just burn them in a trash fire?

(Stolen from Northics, who had stolen this from Kandlin, who stole it from Kayiko, who stole it from Ross Perot.)


1. What is your character's name?
- Wallaroo Blacke.

2. What kind of character is it (furry, anime, etc) and any particular race?
- Anthro kangaroo.

3. What is the first thing your character would think of when he/she first wakes up?
- "Ugh..."

4. Your character's favorite outfit would be?
- T-shirt and blue jeans.

5. When your character looks into a mirror, what's the first thing they would notice?
- Another day where I can't shave worth a crap.

6. Does your character have the same tastes in food as you?
- Yes. Completely omnivorous.

7. How is your character similar to you?
- Good intentions despite a dirt-covered form.

8. How is he/she different?
- Fur. Tail. All male.

9. If your character could speak, would they have the same voice as you?
- Yeah, three octave lower.

10. If you were to suddenly become your character, what do you think would be the first thing you would do as them?
- Stay as fucking far away from any furry convention as I possibly could... and avoid humans like the plague. Some are gun-nuts.

11. Is there something about your character that you don't like how others think of them?
- Yes... but the list is TOO long. Trust me.

12. What advantages does your character have over you?
- A huge prehensile tail, strong legs that get me some distances.

13. What disadvantages?
- He's a CARTOON... and can't get the ladies, real or otherwise.

14. Do you have any secrets relating to your character that only you know?
- What part of "secret" do you NOT understand?

15. Do you have any secret drawings only you know about?
- That's classified material.

16. Do you have any plans for your character or are you working on something big relating to him/her?
- Well, not at the moment.

17. What misconception(s), if any, do people have about your character?
- That he's a rabbit... that roos of
either gender have pouches... and Afros are just wrong. XD

18. If you could have just ONE characteristic from your character, what would it be?
- Actually go from planet to planet.

19. Have you made any characters that go along with yours, based on real-life people, that have the same relationship with your character as you with the real-life person?
- I did make a character called Lovey based on a red-headed girl that I was attracted to, but she wasn't interested in me.
So I changed Lovey's hair anime-pink and let her serve as a reminder to me that:

1) Dream girls are NOT REAL;
2) Beauty can be a liar to those fooled by it;
3) Predjudice is what is ALWAYS present in small, jerkwater towns;
4)Predjudice is for Neo-Nazis, the KKK, and inbred cocksuckers;
5) It is better to find a woman OUTSIDE of the town/fetid genepool you live in;
and 6) THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

20. Have you written any stories about your character?
- Previously tried, but I erased it to avoid implications of creating a "Mary Sue".

21. How has your character changed since his/her first creation?
- Oh, this is fun to answer. Okay, originally, I was one of those people in the furry fandom with a human persona.
But after making an online comic strip, he became a morphic kangaroo... with an Afro.

22. Give us a one-liner from him/her.
- "Let's see... no wait... aw shit."