so HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
...Rope.
Who else reads these?

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
In case other people besides the otter read this.
Also!

Hey Rope!
I saw otters at the zoo the other day.
It was cool.
They were chasing monkeys around.

2 hoodies
1 pair of jeans
1 pair of pajama bottoms
1 bracelet
1 mini license plate wif my name on it

P.S. My mom likes buying me things that make me look gay...

Update:

I made a new story. Or actually, made a second version of the intro to a story I'd written the intro too earlier.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3167317/


Question:

After a lifetime of preaching to people that there's no point in settling for a love that doesn't absolutely consume all that they are. And after being consumed by such love on multiple occasions...is it wrong that I've traded the feeling of utter devotion...for the security of knowing I am wanted?

FA is back! -dances-
Hi friends~

So...I brought "Moonlight" into my Writing Class to be workshopped. When other stories were workshopped we talked about the story. The plot, the events, the wording, the character development. All that stuff. When they got to my story, "Moonlight" ... all they could talk about were the animal characters.

"Why is it a raccoon? What do you mean 'wolf boy'? Why are these animals talking? Animals don't talk. Where are all the humans? Did a science experiment make the animals like this? I don't like these animals. They seem stupid. Why don't you just use humans. This story would be way better if it were humans. Animals are unnecessary. Etc."

...
...
GAH!!!!!!!!!
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!
What the hell is wrong with my story? You don't like it solely because the characters are anthro? What about the story? Does anyone have any comments about the actual story? No? Just the animals? That's it. That's all you care about? What?...don't you...don't you dare say...

"A furry? Furries are a depraved sexual fetish. Haven't you seen CSI?"

...
...
...
We ended class then.

stolen from  Rope

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.

I's doing a research project for my writing class and my topic is furries. IF anyone is interested in being interviewed for my paper it would be very much appreciated.

We are who we are and will be what we will. We have our ideals and our reasons for action. We need not change for man, society, government, or anything else that bids we are not good enough as we are. We are not the weak and the needy. We are not the underdog nor the higher power. We are but what we are. We need not what we have not and want not what we cannot possess. We are fine as we are, we are perfect as we are. Those that question our validity shall suffer the proof of our claims.

It broke today. The final remnant of me and my best friend. Just snapped like it was fragile string...even though it was fragile string. I didn't know what else to do. So I broke down and cried. I still don't know what else to do, but I can't cry anymore.

I haven't heard from him in so long. And I'm sure he has better things now. He did the last time I spoke to him. He's better now than he was before. But me? I'm still the same old me. And without the restraint to hold me steady, I don't know what happens to me now. I've done so much because of him. Gotten to where I am because of him. Am capable of forward motion because of him. Without him...I don't know.

What do you do when the tracks that kept you going, are gone? How do you keep moving when you have no motive, or worse, no way to. I never wanted to be alone. He always kept me safe. Always stayed beside me. Now...now there's no one.

For the first time in years I open my eyes and all I see, like all I saw, is Darkness. I don't want to be alone. But no one else knows where to find me.


So ends the Reminisce. So comes the Truth.

Taken from  chippysbud2

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Yep

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Whenever

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Nearest the wall mostly

4. Do you masturbate?
Yes

5. How often? Lately?
-shrugs- This afternoon in the shower

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
-nods-

7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
showers

8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
shower

9. Do you watch/read pornography?
Yepz

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Either/or

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
I do

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
Personally, no

13. Would you choose love or money?
Love

14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
Bondage, roleplay, skirts (if i'm wearin em)

15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
No

16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
Candle lit room

17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Hotel stairwell

18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
Nopez

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No

20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
Nopez

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
Nope

22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
Nuh-uh

23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Yepz, to both

24. What's your sexuality?
bi, 90/10 split for boys

25. Had sex in a movie theater?
no

26. Had sex in a bathroom?
yes

27. Have you ever had sex at work?
no

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
yes

29. Bought something from an adult store?
yes

30. Do you own any sex toys?
not yet

31. If yes, how many and what are they?
N/A

32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Indeed

33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Nopez

34. Have you ever had phone sex?
yes

35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
quite a few times

36. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse?
Yeah

37. What's your favorite sexual position?
apron i guess

38. What's your favorite sex act?
the act of sex

39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
yep

40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
lots of people

the title is a song by Lola Ray.
It happens to be playing at the moment.
And also, it seemed to fit.

Ionno. time does not seem to be my friend. ever. I never have enough of it to last. Or I have too much and everything crumbles to pieces. I wish I could find something that came with the perfect set of time. That would be nice.

I'm not sure. All I really know for certain is...

I miss him terribly.

Stolen from  chippysbud2

Would You...

[] Push me into a wall and kiss me?
[] Come To My House To Do Nothing But Chill?
[] Slap Me?
[] Have Hard Core Sex With Me?
[] Slap Me If I Asked You To?
[] Lick/Suck My Neck?
[] Let Me Lick/Suck Your Neck?
[] Watch A Movie With Me?
[] Take Me Out To Dinner?
[] Take A Shower With Me?
[] Take Me Home For The Night?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed (With You)?
[] Take Me Anywhere With You?
[] Repost This For Me To Answer Your Questions?
[] Lock Me In Your room And Take Advantage Of Me?
[] Let me lock you in your room and Take Advantage of you?
[] Make me breakfast?
[] Tickle Me?
[] Let Me Tickle You?
[] Stick Up For Me If Someone Was Being Mean to Me?
[] Instant Message Me?
[] Greet Me In Public?
[] Hang Out With Me?
[] Hold my waist from behind while we are out?
[] Bring Me Around Your Friends?

Do You...

[] Miss Me?
[] Love Me?
[] Think I'm Hot?
[] Think I'm Cute?
[] Think I'm Ok?
[] Think I'm Ugly?
[] Want To Kiss Me?
[] Want To Cuddle With Me?
[] Want To Date Me?
[] Want To Love Me?

Am I...

[] Sweet?
[] Funny?
[] Cool?
[] lovable?
[] Adorable?
[] Great To Be With?
[] Attractive?
[] Mean?

Have You Ever...

[] Thought About Hooking Up With Me?
[] Found Yourself Wanting To Kiss Me?
[] Wished I Were There?
[] Had A Crush On Me?
[] Wanted My Number?
[] Had A Dream About Me?
[] Been Distracted By Me?
[] Thought About having Sex with Me?

Are You...

[] Happy You Know Me?
[] Thinking About Me?
[] My Friend
[] A Freak-A-Leak (its a rap song by Petey Palbo)?

Monday, Wednesday, Friday:
8:45-950 Our Animal Selves (writing class)
1015-1205 Intro to Programming (wif Alice)

Tuesday, Thrusday:
10-1150 Intro to Creative Writing
12-150 Choreography
2-350 Modern Dance II
710-9 Ballroom (only on Tuesdays)

Mmkz, that's my schedule.
By nows~

The ocean took my glasses.
Now I's blind.

So, Passy sent me the deck of Furoticon cards he got me at AC. THEY IS AWESOME!!! He got me the "Boys will be Boys" starter deck and, aside from the art, the cards are awesome sauce! Now I just...I just have to find someone to play against. Hmm...I go to college in a week so maybe someone there will have some.

"So take a step back
And a breath in
Let it out now
Put your chin up
You can do it tiger
You a man now
Your only dream, it's time to do the best you can now "
-2nd Period: Shoot Down the Stars by Gym Class Heroes

I heard this song today. I was pretty destroyed but I'd already promised Justin and Martin I'd go to the beach with them so I couldn't just bail. I'm not that kind of kid. While we were in the car this song came on a CD Justin made. I listened to it twice.

"We bring ourselves down
And build ourselves up with disappointment
How fragile we are
So fragile we are, we just don't show it
We'll shake up this town
And shoot down the stars we'll all enjoy this
So sexy we are
So sexy we are, we just don't know it "
-2nd Period: Shoot Down the Stars by Gym Class Heroes

So here we go. On to the point. No more lyrics. Though there might be a tune in the back of my head keeping time with my writing. But that's the norm, it's how I do things. My life is fundamentally song and dance. You'd know this if you went to places with me. I tend to just start dancing randomly. And ya know what? That's totally fine.

So what? I'm not the cutest or smartest or most talented kid out there. In fact, I'm pretty slow, just below average looking, and a bit on the ungifted side, but I do stuff well. And ya know what? Someone loves that fact. Someone out there thinks that the fact I'm so horribly flawed is probably the hottest thing they've ever seen in their entire lives. And I'm cool with that.

Things tend not to work out in my favor. And I admit that my biggest flaw is giving myself far too easily. The lightest thing will have be giving body and soul into something despite the fact the consequence of that is most likely me being shattered to pieces so fine it looks like dust on the wind. Well you know what? Blow wind blow. I'd rather be dust than be guarded.

I thought for a second. I was gonna say yea, let's give up on the love thing for a while. Let's try being alone and keep people at bay. Wade back out into the water when I think I'm ready for it. But ya know what? That's not how...I...

PAUSE!!! I've said "you know what?" far too many times already. That's just weird. Why am I asking you if you know what? Your reading this so that I can inform you "what." So scratch that. I'll try not to type that anymore. Sheesh. When you get into a tangent it just goes into redundancy doesn't it?

RESUME!!!

Alright. Back to the main issue. Here we go! Uh...wait what? Right! That's not the way I do things. I don't revel around in...ok maybe I do wallow in my own self pity But I won't. Nope, I refuse to just sit around and be mopey because of that stupid boy! Yes this all about a boy. let it go world. Love is love and it just works out or it doesn't. So what am I gonna do? Why am I asking you, I'll just tell you. I'm gonna go on like I always do. Just keep spazzing out and being me, cause I am oh so awesome, and whatever happens with life happens.

"So sexy we are, we just don't know it."

Well I'll be damned if I don't find out. Chin up kid, we got work to do. -smirks-

On a side note:

SCREAM! The 21st. Go! It's only $15 and it's my last SD event. I'm heading back to Wisconsin for college on the 22nd so if you haven't hung out with me yet since I've been home you might wanna jump on that schedule thing quick. And if you don't have time, SCREAM! I mean it. Go! It'll be fun. I'll give light shows. -smilez- And hugz! And I might have a glow paint henna tattoo. Hopefully...we're workin on it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNd8-9NfV0w

The song mentioned earlier

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-WXhw1KLwk

"Strength Through Music" by Amanda Palmer
Always good for getting me through things lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX21kRZdOy4

"Another Year" by Amanda Palmer
Also a good song for keeping me together

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zsodu_nNVfE

"This is Love" by Kelly Rowland
Not the music video (there isn't one) but a dance in a movie.
The video i used to tell him I loved him.
It was this epic moment where I wrote the message out on my arms and body
So I wouldn't stumble over the words.
And as the song played I showed it to him piece by piece.
At the end I showed him the words "I love you" written on my heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLtgYPRYYu4

"Brothers on a Hotel Bed" by Death Cab for Cutie
Another dance
I love this song. Always have.
Me and Takun were gonna do this song for airband junior year
But he chickened out.
Yes, my big brother is scared of public performances.
Ok not really. we were in show choir together too.
But yea, good song, good dance. Just sharing it


AND THOSE HAVE BEEN YOUR RANDOM VIDEO SHARES OF THE DAY!!!

I can't keep going on. Not when there's no point. I wish I could stop breathing and will this fractured heart of mine to stop beating. Its incessant pounding in my chest brings me more pain than the blood flowing in my veins is worth. I'd much rather cease to be altogether than continue as I am for another moment. What's the point?

We give ourselves, all of ourselves, unrestrained, to people who do nothing but tear us to pieces and leave us in their wake. But why? When its so much easier to never let anyone lay a hand on you, why choose to offer yourself to the slaughter? The argument is that you do so for the opportunity to find your savior in the sea of blades. The one person who will guard you from the worlds wrath and loves fangs. And with that person you go off into paradise.

But thats a lie isn't it? If it were true, wouldn't there be a way to find them? Wouldn't there be some way to contact them? Or is suffering supposed to bring them along magically. That's now how this world works. No one in this world gets to be happy. We just get used and abandoned by everyone and everything we care about. One by one, day by day, till nothing remains.

I can't keep going. Not like this. Not feeling this again. Again for the same disease. And again for the same wound. I'd rather not be, than be as I am now. "When all you can do is die." All I want to do is die. Or pass into some form where these organs and these bodies don't hinder me.

I know what I want. At this moment I know what I want more than anything else in this world.

I want to burn. I want fire to consume me and cleanse me of this sickness. I want my ashes to be taken by the wind and scattered wherever the breeze sees fit. I want there to be no remains, nothing to identify. I just want...to go away...forever.

Stolen from :Chippybud2:

Furry/Human survey meme:

HUMAN QUESTIONS
What's your real name?
Victor Mickey Roman Bascuera Gonzales Dailey

-Gender?
Boy

-Orientation?
bismexual ((but heavy lean towards boys))

-Race?
Nigapino. ((filipino and black))

-What's your favorite genre of music?
Various

-What's your favorite band/musical artist?
Ionno...but I'll vote BoA just cuz she rocks

-What's your worst peeve?
Stupid people!!!

-Are you doing well in school?
Its summer...

-Do you have a religion?
Ionno

-What turns you on?
Schtuff...-blushes-

-Do you consider yourself a whore?
No...sorta..no! Wait...maybe...just a little

-Do you have a favorite movie?
Streets of Fire

-Funniest thing you've ever said?
"HAHAHA!!!"
"What's so funny?"
"I hadn't thought of anything yet but I thought when I do it'll be funny...so I'll just laugh now and get that out of the way."
"..."

-What do you eat?
Noms

-Are you flexible?
No -sad-

-What's your favorite video game?
.hack//

-Do you have a crush on anyone?
Yesh

-What's the most embarrassing moment you can remember?
I don't know...-shrugs-

-Are you a (gulp) myspace whore?
Nopez

FURRY QUESTIONS
-What's your furry name?
Ulfric Azorath DeNalli

-Species?
Shadow Wolf

-If you could describe your furry in one word, what would it be?
Sketchy

-Does your fur have a side-story?
Yepz

-Is your fur a whore?
Nope

-Does your fur have any traits that resemble yourself?
A few

-What's your fur's favorite outfit?
...I don't know...

-Describe your furs overall personality in a few words.
Brooding

-How often do you RP using your fur?
A lot

-Does your fur have any weapons?
He does

-How does your fur wear his/her hair?
Doesn't. Just has regular head fur ((despite what pics depict!!!))

Tagged by  PassLIon


1)these are the rules
2)post 8 true things about yourself
3)at the end you must tag 8 people and post their icon
4)then you must go to their page & tell them you got tagged
5)NO tag backs!



1. I like boys~
2. I am naming my first kid R.A.W.R. There is no debate.
3. I adore photobooth photos
4. I hate taking pix of myself cuz I look stupid
5. I am easily bribed/persuaded by music
6. I'm very easy claimed as a pet
7. I want a Lotus (car)
8. I's not very cute at all -ears flatten-

I was standing on a pillar in the sea
Watching the currents pass by
When a cloud looked upon me and decided
in its infinite wisdom
That i was far too dry

It was gentle at first
Like sobbing
It grew into a thunderous applause
Of gusts and heavy raindrops
I clung to my knees in fear of falling
But a voice came to me on the wind

The breezes ceased
And all I felt was the warmth of the rain on my face
Somewhere in my skull
I knew I should be cursing the water for soaking me to the bone

But it felt like your hand
Cupping my cheek
It felt like
being on the shore.

Stolen from  Faint

1. Smoked
2. Drank alcohol
3. Cried when someone died
4. Been drunk
5. Had sex
6. Been to a concert
7. Gotten/given a hand job-
8. Gotten/given a blow job
9. Been verbally/sexually harassed
10.Verbally/sexually harassed somebody

11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school
17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
18. Went streaking
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room


21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house
23. Kissed a stranger
24. Hugged a stranger
25. Went scuba diving
26. Driven a car
27. Gotten an x-ray
28. Hit by a car
29. Had a party
30. Done serious drugs

31. Played strip poker/darts/basketball
32. Got paid to strip for someone
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi
36. Bought porn
37. Watched porn
38. Made porn
39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex
40. Been in love


41. French kissed
42. Laughed so hard you cried
43. Cried yourself to sleep
44. Laughed yourself to sleep
45. Stabbed yourself accident
46. Shot a gun
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.

51. Watched a person die
52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out
56. Kissed somebody of the same sex
57. Dressed punk
58. Dressed goth
59. Dressed preppy
60. Been to a motocross race.

61. Avoided somebody
62. Been stalked
63. Stalked someone
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse
67. Cut yourself not on purpose
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.


71. Got caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush.
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.

81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
83. Cried over a family member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for 3 months or more.
85. Sat on your butt all day
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore.

91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.

I was walking down the streets of abandonment when it came.
A soft breeze like comfort that brushed my cheek softly.
A voice on the wind reassured me of the coming storm.
I knew to hide, but my body was unwilling.
It wanted to suffer.

I watched as sorrow swirled the clouds above me.
Twisting like the cotton candy stick at carnivals.
The airy substance pulling down from the heavens.
Hesitating only momentarily before touching the earth.

My gentle breeze was whipped away from me.
And clinging to my lungs, my breath drawn from my lips.
I felt the pull of despair clawing at my flesh.
Needing to drag me across the wreckage of worlds.
To draw lines in the streets with my blood.

Then it stopped.
I watched as buildings and vehicles were ripped from their posts.
As the pavement was torn asunder and flew through the air.
I wondered momentarily why I wasn't dying too.

His arms were locked around my frame.
His wings shielded me from the debris.
His cheek was pressed against mine.
His heart beat against the back of my chest.
His voice lingered in my ears.

"Hey unloving,
I will love you."

The storm died down and the gentle whisper of serenity came.
Swirling around our bodies like the disaster around the twister.
I looked into his eyes.
A bat held me in its arms.
I didn't notice the world had fallen apart.

I'm writing this on my phone cause I'm on the couch. By choice. I'd rather be here than there. No poetry. Sorry people (Rope). You'd think knowing it's the last night you have with your mate, you'd do everything (or at least something) to show what your time together meant. I did. Busted my ass off to show it. But him? He could care less. And it just makes me feel like crap. I mean honestly, am I such a horrible mate that I can't get someone to pretend for one night that I matter? Really though. I'm almost ashamed to say it but at this moment, I completely understand (and might go so far as to say, justify) suicide. Don't worry, I'm not the type. Plus my best friend would kill me for breaking a promise. And I'll do a lot of things, but I'd never break a promise to him. All I'm saying is that as living beings there's only so much we can take before the extremes sound almost mediocre actions. Thinking about killing someone is bad enough, but when your trying to find something to inflict on them thats worse than death, thats an issue. Not that I'm contemplating murder. I mean lets face it, I love him. I know it's stupid and all it does is get me hurt but that doesn't make it any less of a fact.

My last relationship lasted a year, a month, and five days. It was long distance but we worked it out. I loved him. Did everything possible to let him know that. He was an avid christian so I guess you could say I should've seen it comin but we'd talk about it lots of times and we were past that. Then suddenly he pops up one day and says, I quote, "The devil can't have me and I won't allow you to drag me to hell with your sinning." Really? Cause he's the one that asked me out. WTF?!

Beforwe that,I was in a 3 day relationship. Yepz, three days. It was a 3way. A boy and a girl. They had been dating for 3 years and wanted to make it more. I liked him, more than her. He was angry and thought I was trying to steal her from him. Which made no sense since I spent all my time by his side. So the first day he was a complete ass to me. The 2nd day he tried to make up for it, and we ended up in bed together. The next day he dumped me. Cause apparently, "I'm good for sex but just not boyfriend material." Yea...thanks...

Summer before that. Took an hour long trolley ride everyday to walk him home from work. He would play piano for me. We did cool stuff like pointless bus rides and watching clouds. Told me I should start kissing him goodbye so I did. Later told me that he wasn't looking for a boyfriend but he liked my company, so I stuck around. About a week later, he cancels on movie plans because he's going with his new boyfriend. Fast forward. Few months later I get a call about how he didn't realize what he had and how he wishes we could be something more than friends. I say ok and go to see him a couple weeks later. Move in to kiss him and he stops me. Why? Quote: "I...was going through a hard break-up and needed to feel wanted. But...I'm not interested in you...at all." Well...way to mess with my emotions.

I could keep going. The high schooler who used me experiment on, the senior who just wanted someone he could string along, the one week relationship, etc. etc.

So since I sorta want to be a lwayer, I took a step back and looked at the facts. Only the evidence, no bias, no personal opinions. Just what was presented. And I came to this conclusion:

SOMETHING IS SEVERELY SCREWED UP ABOUT ME!

And everyone else sees it except me. Everyone else seems to be doing the smart thing and getting as far away from me as fast possible. And you know what? That doesn't sound like a bad idea.

I'm tired. Tired of being used, lied to, taken advantage of, abused, stung along. I.
'm just plain tired. So, much like Amanda Palmer, I think I might judt wait a year. And if I don't feel better by then, I'll just wait another year. I'm 19. I have lots of time to figure out how to fix my apparently viciously flawed self so someone will love me.

But then again...
there are those people that die alone.

I'll stop pretending
That this will end well
Your already leaving
And its putting me through hell
Who did you love?
It couldn't be me
You've never loved
like I love you

You are a disease
and I am infected
they want to cure me
I am unturned

You are a warm breeze
over my flesh
keeping the chill at bay
but only for the night at best

I'll stop pretending
if you'll tell the truth
Get over your wearisome
Heartache and proofs
I'll be more honest
When it comes to my heart
After I find it
I think I know where 2 of the pieces are

You are a storm
Out on the sea
I am a small boat
Have mercy on me
I will capsize
and the crew will be lost
The wreckage wash up
on a soulless beach

You are a current
Ripping the waves
I am the lost boy
Begging to be saved
Water in my lungs
Blood in my veins
My vision is foggy
I'm going to pass away

I'll stop pretending
I'll stop the act
I'll stop the fires
If you promise to come back
I'll be more honest
I'll let you tear me apart
I'll be your rag doll
Just help me find my heart

If all it took was a word
I would speak volumes in your name
If all it took was a breath
I would take yours away
If all it took was a plea
I would beg the powers that be

But its hard to feel
hard to know
That nothing saves the wreckage.
This torrid love affair is alight
And the flames lap at a midnight sky.
Crackling splendor overhead and liquid peace beneath.

The timers ticking
Almost empty
And when its over
You'll be gone.

I whisper painfully into the breeze.
My dying wish for love
And fake a smile as I watch you leave
Painfully holding tight a photo
printed from a stand in the middle of the night.
The only memory I have left
The only one worth keeping.

I love you~