Well that's just great, now ive finished work and i dont have any income...
Temp jobs doesnt last forever im afraid... and now i got nothing...

Maybe comissions can help me... that would be my only source of incom.
Just wanna also note that i am still open for 25$ commissions...

If anyone is interested.

Happy 17th May, every norwegian fur. Today is one of my favorite days, the day when Norway became free from Denmark. Today I have been in a parade, eaten norwegian ice cream but best of all, stood next to my norwegian brothers and sisters and sung our national anthem. It is one of the best feeling for me, to sing the national anthem with my norwegian brothers and sisters, and feel the pure norwegian spirit flow from my heart. I am proud to be a norwegian and to have Norway as my fatherland.

For kongen og fedrelandet!

I love my fatherland...

Here is the norwegian national anthem... sing along, my norwegian brothers and sisters!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?featur.....;v=VRS6cbLOrPQ

Im sorry for the last journal... i guess im just having my ADHD moments again. I'm not gonna commit suicide becuase i would just end up a statistic... just a shadow or a piece of trash in a garbage can.

Posting these journals does kinda make me feel like a attention seeking whore...
But in reality... it hurts, and i try everything to make these bade feelings go away.
Including telling everyone how i feel and such on journals... or art... just to know that i am not lonely...

The only good news i can say is that i am going to see a doctor.

have i turned mad? Have i gone insane?

Im taking commissions now, and just wanted to tell you guys that i am still open.
Commission prices are now 25$ for everything.
note me if you have anyting

Commissionslots

[1]:  TlaiLaxu
[2]: open
[3]: open
[4]: open
[5] open

Achtung, here be ranting!

ive had enough... ive had so fucking enough of this bullshit...
im not saying all girls are bad... but there are just a few i just fucking... they get on my fucking nerves...

3 weeks ago... some bitch called me and said she was in love with me and wanted to hang out... but sadly that was right before my embark to Japan, but she still said she wanted to be with me when i got back... and what happened afterwards? Oh nothing, she just found another one... i dont blame her, but i just find it so fucking annoying and idiotic since it just reminds me about another girl who did kinda the same thing to me... playing with my feelings, giving me false fucking hope and then just when my hopes and joy is at the top... she just fucking pulls the plug and destroy my hopes and joy....


Many times... ive decided that perhaps.. girls are not the stuff for me... its just a fucking tease... all girls that has shown interest in me... they just fuck around and tease me and give me false hopes...
Im not talking about my ex, okay? im talking about other girls... other fucking bitches that just.. it just fucking annoys me.

I am a desperate person, a desperate guy who seeks for love... and this is the shit i get from girls!?
It's like dangling food infront of a hungry starving person, saying he can have it if he does something, and when he does it, the person just fucking changes his mind and eats the food right infront of the starving person!

FUCK I WISH I SOMETIMES WAS GAY!

would have been fucking easier to find someone more faithful...

and then again, I AM NOT SAYING ALL GIRLS ARE LIKE THIS.
And the worst thing is... all girls who are not like this... they are fucking taken by either a douchebag or a good guy...

oh well, just needed to update my journal by saying that i am back from japan. and now i need to go back to work on art and such.

oh man... this is it... im going home... back to norway...

It was awesome here... so fucking awesome here in japan. Sorry i couldnt upload all the pictures... but you guys got to see my crazy cool adventure here in Tokyo... it was the best time of my life... best vacation ever.... so fucking good i love it here... so awesome here.... i am gonna miss Akihabara... and the otaku stuff and anime figures and all... oh my god i am so much gonna miss it.
I recommend Tokyo for vacation... i recommend it so much.

When i get home... i need to finish some art and scan them in ^^



thank you japan... thank you so much <3 <3



I love japan!!!! <3 <3

what's the worst thing that can ever happen to you?
Many have their own point of view what that could be.
Me? One of them... is regret, and guilt....
As you know, i am spending a long vacation here in Tokyo Japan, but sadly... i also did something i should never had... and said something... very bad... a few days ago...

Now i feel so ashamed and regret that its almost ruining my joy and happiness here in Japan... i should never have been on the internet...

but now i feel its like... its too late... that nobody cares about me, my friends... well, they are still there... i know they are... but i cant help but feeling guilty and bad... and like i need to beg for forgiveness...

I hope you guys understand....
If there is anyone... who wants to though....

the last night was probably one of the most turbulent and violent and angry moments of my life...
So basically, most you guys probably know what is going on.
I know what i said, i said i hated her... but that was wrong, immoral and just aweful of me, and i also said something so horrible and painful that basically surpasses all cursewords out there... its so horrible i dont even want to say it again... but you guys probably know. But, in my own defence, the only thing i can say, was that i was pissed off and angry as hell that night (remember, i am in Japan, for me it happened at night)
And during night times, my ADHD is basically on full effect and my temper can be waaay more shorter than regularly... so in my defence, i was mad, angry... angry that i basically didnt think about anything what i was saying...
And, i dont know if saying that i got ADHD is a good way to defend myself... but you guys should know, sometimes ADHD works that way too.

and i am sorry... i really am. I dont know if you guys believe me or still hate or want to forgive me. But then again, it would be awesome if we put it all behind us and just forgot about this nightmare, and move on with our lives.

One thing is also for sure, lets also know that it thankfully isnt happening in real life, and just here on the internet, if this had been happening face to face with eachother, there would have been blood, maybe.

But then again... even through the net, it can still also hurt.

If you guys and especially Ashley can forgive me, it would be cool.
I am sorry.... sorry for everything...

basically, i am kinda open for anything to happen, block me, hate me, forgive me, love me, be cool or something... up to you guys.

That's right, the greyleg is going to the land of the rising sun.

Where anime is born and ninja lurks among the streets and tentacles is a genre and not a fetish or a noun for the arms of an octopus.

Just kidding with the stuff above, but i am going to japan for real... and of course that means: You most likely aint gonna see new art from me in 3 weeks.
what do i need to do today? I need to make the art for EXos the winner of the prank auction who instead of Jenna, is going to have a night with Martha aswell ^^



oh well, wish me luck and hope that i dont run out of money, and i will take lots and lots and lots of pictures!
Tokyo, here i come!
Tomorrow that is XD

wait... i think i still am little afraid of flight... and ... the flight is about 17hours?
Holy crap! O.o

i mean... should i stream my drawings? So you guys could watch me draw?
i do kinda draw a little slow and i draw in a... wierd way. using silly techniques and such.. but eh...
do you guys really think i should stream?

a friend of mine needs help for a finicial crisis of her own and is avaible to draw alot of cool and stylish pictures.

find her at https://irenia.sofurry.com/

and at www.weasyl.com/profile/irenia

check her out, she is an good artist and needs your help ;)

well, as i am working on 2 pictures for myself, and an art trade with :gradiewoof:
i just had one little question that i need to ask all my watchers who watches and likes my art, but also those who might be new watchers and all.
The question is: What kind of art would you like me to draw?

i would like to know, as i want to draw stuff that pleases and that my watchers want to see ^^

if you have any ideas, i would be happy to know! :D

you know... i want you guys to stop... stop glaring or uuuh... you know, dont be too harsh on my ex  ashleyfoxy because after we broke up and this weekend.. there has been waaaay too much drama.
Me and her are tired of fighting, we are not getting back together as lovers or couple, we decided... how about we stay good good friends with benefits? ^^ that way, we dont have to.. you know, you know, we can still be good friends, but dont have to worry about the boyfriend girlfriend stuff, and still have our characters be drawn in good sexytime ^^

So why not? i mean... i just want this drama to end! Lets stop fighting, lets be friends, lets be it with benefits until one of us find our true love ^^

So.. what do you say, you guys? isnt that a good thing? :3

and just so you guys know, me and Ash just want our drama to end, and be good good friends with benefits, and so we all can go back to our non drama life, as friends with benefits ;)

so yaay for friendship! :D

i feel guilty..me and my.. ex have had a fight yesterday and today... after the break up.. 1 week ago... right after valentines day. I tried to play it cool that i was okay with the break up.. but i couldnt take it... it broke my heart again as it did 1 year ago aswell.
then... 1 week later... yesterday... she just came back. But i didnt want to go back to her... i didnt know what to say, i told her i needed time to think about it. But after so many breakups and going back together... i didnt want to go back. I didnt have the heart to just tell her no i didnt want to... because i dont like to reject... because i have been rejected so many times... so i had so many dillemas and emotions and feelings rushing through me... but then i just told her i didnt want to go back...

and of course.. well... it all ended bad.. very bad. And i feel so guilty now that i just wanna throw up... but nothing can be done now... i dont know what to say.. All i wanted to say was that i just didnt wanna go back... but i guess im no good at that... telling the one that i used to love that i dont wanna go back...

but... i guess im not good at it... not at all... i regret and feel so guilty now.... i wish this never happened... but who cares...

but this is just my point of view... i dont know about you.. and i hope you guys understand me...

so... my girlfriend Ashley broke up with me.. the day right after valentines day.. and ive been desperatly trying to play it cool and dont care about it.. but then suddenly it all hit me and now i feel depressed and sad as hell.

but the sad part also is... i dont know if many people care about me... my parents are gone for the week, so they wont be here to comfort me..

who cares anyway about me anyway... im a guy.. guys are supposed to be strong and nerves of steel... but i guess i am just too soft...

it just hurts so bad now.... just like all the pain and suffering i felt 1 year ago... worst days of my life... its all back... i hate my life so bad!

Im sorry... but.. im.. I feel a little neglected or unsung here on FA. I feel like nobody notices me or cares about my art... i mean. Sure, my mate cares and Gradie cares too, and i love them so much for that and they are some of the best people here on FA!

but... well... it looks like nobody else cares... i dont know why, and it feels so depressing and sad to know that when you have worked so hard on a piece... nobody cares or even comments.. i got like over 200 watchers and none of them as really bothers to either comment or do anything to my pieces! Sure, there are some who faves... but i want to know what they really think, i want them to comment too, tell me if they like it or what could be improved and all, or heck! just say anything about my art!... but no... i get nothing... and it feels so lonely and depressing...

it almost makes me wanna give up on art... theres no point in drawing if there are nobody who even cares about it?

im sorry if anybody looks down and bad on me now for whining.... but this is just how i feel... neglected and unsung...

am i a good artist..? or am i just nothing...

im open for commissions now, since i too need to make some money, you know.

so if you want a commission from me! just send me a note! ;)

... meh... who cares... its not like anyone is gonna commission me anymore...

prices for commissions are:

5$ for sketch

10$ for simple flat collors

15$ for full shades

20$ for full with background!



so... i hope some of you will... its been so long last time someone commissioned me...

Oh well, today is my birthday, im gonna probably (small chance) get drunk and hang out with friends and watch a movie and eat pizza.

Happy birthday to me.

I'm turning 21 in the 29th of august....

Yay.... and still .... uhg....

My life is actually pretty boring.....

well... its been a month since my last huge depression hit me.. and i feel better, for now at least. I'm now trying to stay better, and happy...
that is all... just feeling better and not so very depressed right now.

My depressions are getting worse >,<
I could hardly sleep last night because of the amount of chest pain I got.

Ever since my heart was broken... I've been not the same, i have this chest pain that feels like someone impaled me with a spear. I cant take it anymore.... i want to end it! Even if i have to kill myself to free me from this torment
and now its gettting worse. I fucking hate my life, i dont want it anymore... i dont know if i will survive.

I just want this fucking pain to go away!! >,<

Yeah, i want to take commission.

So if anyone wants a quick or simple commission like a sketch or heck even a full traditonal one with background and multiple characters you can send me a note if you want too, and then we can discuss prices and other important commission stuff through skype or MSN.

your choice.

Today is the Norwegian constitution day or the Norwegian national day!
Så til lykke med dagen til alle norske furs og ha en strålende 17 mai!
Hurra for 17 mai! :D
La oss alle gå i tog og spise is og kaker og andre ting ^^
Happy 17. May everybody... even if you arent Norwegian XD

Now im back from New York. Tired, sleepy and about to fall over asleep... Jetlag engage... or something like that, since there is a huge time zone difference... whats morning and whats evening now? Im so tired... Jenna being stripped should be my next work though ^^'