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Posted 2 months agoG'day
Sorry for all the silence. This year has been a bit shitty. I'm doing okay.
Healing is hard.
My friends are incredible. I love you all. I have no idea where I'd be without you all.
Here's the backlog of my work so far, coming right up. I hope you enjoy ♥
Posted using PostyBirb
Sorry for all the silence. This year has been a bit shitty. I'm doing okay.
Healing is hard.
My friends are incredible. I love you all. I have no idea where I'd be without you all.
Here's the backlog of my work so far, coming right up. I hope you enjoy ♥
Posted using PostyBirb
G'day, another update
Posted 6 months agoI have now moved home, back in with family.
Some things have changed, others have stayed the same. It's a little rough resettling, but I'll find my groove and move on.
I have an art dump to upload once this cyclone is passed.
I'll also be updating my commission forms sometime soon and opening up for quick comm work.
Be safe, be well, love each other.
Some things have changed, others have stayed the same. It's a little rough resettling, but I'll find my groove and move on.
I have an art dump to upload once this cyclone is passed.
I'll also be updating my commission forms sometime soon and opening up for quick comm work.
Be safe, be well, love each other.
Birthday Update
Posted 8 months agoG'day.
My birthday was on the 26th. So I'm a tiny bit late in my own timezone for this. Maybe even just late in general by the time this gets posted.
It's been insane. Heaps just... so much life has happened. Y'know? Feels like I'm rehashing the last journal if I even try to speak about things. So I won't. I'll do what I said I would instead. This is what I want to do.
Normally, when my birthday comes around, I'd use it as an opportunity to bring all of my friends together, throw a party, drink, be loud, play games and just hang out with as many people as I could. Never really felt right to me to be the centre of attention even if the day called for it. It may be my birthday but it means nothing to me if I spend it alone. And it may be my birthday but I'd rather use it as an opportunity to pull my friends out of their routine for a night off with their friends too.
This year I didn't do that. This year was different. Relaxed and quiet, but spent with friends no less. I had a great time.
So... this is what this journal is. I just want to highlight some of the people I've come to know, befriend and bond with as well as the people who have been dear and important to me. In no particular order.
Below this line is just what I have to say. If you aren't here for that, that's fine. It's a little emotional and was quite hard for me to get through. Truth being told, It's really hard for me to be concise and pinpoint important things. Words are just hard for me to use to express something so nebulous as my thoughts and feelings.
AzzyDerg: I'm still kind of shocked at how quickly we grew close. You are full of such sincere kindness and have been so welcoming to me I always feel comfortable and at home around you. Your streams are always a delight, you've cultivated such a fun, vibrant community of fans, followers and friends to be around. You are just wonderful to be around in every way. Will support you in any way I can, friend.
Humbug: Mate, you are so inspiring to watch. We've known each other so long, but so little, and I still feel like you're someone I went to school with. I admire you for the work you do and the enthusiasm you approach your work with. I love seein' what you have cookin', but more importantly I love how personable and compassionate you are.
Maven: You are so lovely to talk to, I just wish I had things I could talk about. I love getting to hang out and do things with you and we absolutely need to game more (my sleep schedule is awful I'm sorry). Streaming with you is great, watching you write is wizardry to me and your introspections on subjects is always something thought provoking and interesting to read. You're a good friend I love having you around.
Deocks: You're incredibly sweet. You're always going to be welcome around me. You've been nothing but kind and considerate towards me and everyone. I hope to see a lot more of you in my life.
Dynamo: You bring such a bright presence to any chat you're in. I always love hearing your voice because I know you're going to say something nice or uplifting. Being open with you feels so natural and it's because of that kind spirit you have.
Joey: My god you're adorable. And so very sweet. Your passion is always great to see and it's good fun to hear you talk about your joys. Thank you for opening up to me given me something else to smile about. Don't doubt yourself or your capabilities, you're stronger than you think if you apply yourself.
DJ: Mate. Mate. The energy you bring to any voice call you join could power a city. I suppose that's a reason why you live where you do. I love hangin' out with you. Whether we're shootin' lads in The Finals or shootin' the shit on our own, your company is motivating. I love you too, mate.
Taigon: You've been my friend for almost as long as I can remember. I want you to bring those dreams of yours to reality. You have so many cool ideas I really want to see come to life. Keep creating. Be the person you want to be.
Vic: You have never stopped being an artistic inspiration from me. From the get-go, you've been kind, understanding and welcoming of me and along with Humbug you helped shape how I interact with this community in more positive and productive manners, with an open mind at the core. Watching you work and seeing how passionate you are is amazing. I'm still astonished you work so quickly. But most importantly you're bright, fun loving and enjoyable to be around. You're an amazing friend. More Rowi and Sher please. PLEASE.
Scribble: This is hard. There's so many things to say.
Eleven years you said... You are an incredible person. When you have something you're passionate about, you go hard until it's done and you put everything into it. Every time. It's powerful to see, awe-inspiring. I remember some of the first conversations we had in brief, even have some of your first doodles you threw my way. That growth and change is beautiful. I'm glad I got to see you get to where you are now from the start and here's hoping you keep getting to grow and express yourself.
Some of the best years of my life were spent with you. Trying to describe what you mean to me brings me to tears just trying. Just know that you're far more inspiring and loved than you may realise and people can see all the heart you put into your work. You are my best friend, my closest friend and I love you so much. I'll be here for you, I am here for you.
Chazo: You're a wonderful fella. One of my best friends without question. Even if we butt heads and have our differences, I can always count on you to have my back and be around if I need help. Don't think for a moment I don't appreciate who you are because I go silent or fixate myself elsewhere. I always look forward to hearing from you and am looking forward to a lot of that through the rest of my life. Get your projects going, too! I want to see your passion.
Nin: I'm so, so glad I met you. Even if I was a dickhead when we did. Your laugh, your sense of humour, your honesty always lends to entertaining conversations. Every time you're around, the room is just that much more lively.
Katie: Reconnecting with you has been wonderful. Not all sunshine and rainbows, but... sincerely thought it'd never happen. But we did, and gosh you are fantastic. I'm not letting you go. Even in stretches of silence I think about you a lot. Every VC we're in you're the life of the party, the hearth of the home. A lot of the things you've had to say about our troubles has helped me a lot, as well as a lot of others from what I've seen. No matter what happens, no matter how you feel, you'll always be my friend.
Pickra: You're just lovely to talk to. I appreciate who you are and what you do. I know we've not been friends long but I want to be someone here for you. You've been so compassionate, I want to be the same for you.
Skip: You're one of the kindest, sweetest people I know. You are unfaltering in your efforts to make others smile, it's like you're a force of nature. I'm glad that after all this time, despite distance and time-zones and life we are still friends. We are long overdue for a hug, mate. Keep doing what you do with that fire inside you. The love you have to give is something to treasure.
Harley: I have never, ever had a friend put such horrors in my head and have them live rent free like that... and find that endearing and kinda fun. You are a font of curiosities and a surprising amount of common ground. I really enjoy hanging out with you and it's really easy to do around you. Keep streaming, keep doing your thing. Be the you you want to be and I'll be here to support that. Yes, even through those movies.
Nel: Adorable. Cute. Sweet. My goodness I have to stop myself from giggling all giddy at you sometimes, you're too cute. You were there for me without hesitation or restraint when I needed it and we'd barely said anything to each other before outside of an hour of Helldivers. As much of a blur that day was I remember that clearly, and I'll never forget that.
Kim: It's always something I tell myself, that I don't know how we gravitated together after all this time has passed. I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for having you in my life. Such a joy to talk to, very sweet and very kind. Always a joy to see you, so don't be shy around me.
Forest: You never showed me anything other than love, respect, compassion and kindness. You lead by example and made me a better person for it. You brought me into your friend circles, and now some of them are my friend circles. My first real experience of "Found Family", I love them all and I have you to thank for it. Everything you have done runs deep and it won't be something easily forgotten. I love you.
Everyone who has reached out to me: You have all brightened my life up considerably. Given the common threads that pulled us together and the tragedy that sparked it, the community and compassion was far beyond anything I expected. Even if it was just a message or two, you helped me. You're all outstanding people and I'm so grateful to have people like you in my life. With such love and compassion in your hearts. I love hearing from you, I love talking with you. Please, never feel as if I don't want you around. I may be preoccupied or unavailable, but I will reply to you if you leave me a message.
Please don't be upset if you were not mentioned by name. After writing this much I can think of so many more names who have done so much for me. You are all important and you all have meaning in my life. I find it hard to believe anyone would give a damn about me for the most part, so when some of you who barely spoke with me in the past have made yourself a regular in my DMs, you bring profound sense of belonging and worth to me.
The tragedy of being human in the current day is making so many connections that run so deep and never having the time or energy to thoroughly tend to all those connections.
Please keep doing what makes you happy and keep being creative and passionate about the things and people you love.
Thank you everyone.
Take care of yourselves.
Posted using PostyBirb
My birthday was on the 26th. So I'm a tiny bit late in my own timezone for this. Maybe even just late in general by the time this gets posted.
It's been insane. Heaps just... so much life has happened. Y'know? Feels like I'm rehashing the last journal if I even try to speak about things. So I won't. I'll do what I said I would instead. This is what I want to do.
Normally, when my birthday comes around, I'd use it as an opportunity to bring all of my friends together, throw a party, drink, be loud, play games and just hang out with as many people as I could. Never really felt right to me to be the centre of attention even if the day called for it. It may be my birthday but it means nothing to me if I spend it alone. And it may be my birthday but I'd rather use it as an opportunity to pull my friends out of their routine for a night off with their friends too.
This year I didn't do that. This year was different. Relaxed and quiet, but spent with friends no less. I had a great time.
So... this is what this journal is. I just want to highlight some of the people I've come to know, befriend and bond with as well as the people who have been dear and important to me. In no particular order.
Below this line is just what I have to say. If you aren't here for that, that's fine. It's a little emotional and was quite hard for me to get through. Truth being told, It's really hard for me to be concise and pinpoint important things. Words are just hard for me to use to express something so nebulous as my thoughts and feelings.
AzzyDerg: I'm still kind of shocked at how quickly we grew close. You are full of such sincere kindness and have been so welcoming to me I always feel comfortable and at home around you. Your streams are always a delight, you've cultivated such a fun, vibrant community of fans, followers and friends to be around. You are just wonderful to be around in every way. Will support you in any way I can, friend.
Humbug: Mate, you are so inspiring to watch. We've known each other so long, but so little, and I still feel like you're someone I went to school with. I admire you for the work you do and the enthusiasm you approach your work with. I love seein' what you have cookin', but more importantly I love how personable and compassionate you are.
Maven: You are so lovely to talk to, I just wish I had things I could talk about. I love getting to hang out and do things with you and we absolutely need to game more (my sleep schedule is awful I'm sorry). Streaming with you is great, watching you write is wizardry to me and your introspections on subjects is always something thought provoking and interesting to read. You're a good friend I love having you around.
Deocks: You're incredibly sweet. You're always going to be welcome around me. You've been nothing but kind and considerate towards me and everyone. I hope to see a lot more of you in my life.
Dynamo: You bring such a bright presence to any chat you're in. I always love hearing your voice because I know you're going to say something nice or uplifting. Being open with you feels so natural and it's because of that kind spirit you have.
Joey: My god you're adorable. And so very sweet. Your passion is always great to see and it's good fun to hear you talk about your joys. Thank you for opening up to me given me something else to smile about. Don't doubt yourself or your capabilities, you're stronger than you think if you apply yourself.
DJ: Mate. Mate. The energy you bring to any voice call you join could power a city. I suppose that's a reason why you live where you do. I love hangin' out with you. Whether we're shootin' lads in The Finals or shootin' the shit on our own, your company is motivating. I love you too, mate.
Taigon: You've been my friend for almost as long as I can remember. I want you to bring those dreams of yours to reality. You have so many cool ideas I really want to see come to life. Keep creating. Be the person you want to be.
Vic: You have never stopped being an artistic inspiration from me. From the get-go, you've been kind, understanding and welcoming of me and along with Humbug you helped shape how I interact with this community in more positive and productive manners, with an open mind at the core. Watching you work and seeing how passionate you are is amazing. I'm still astonished you work so quickly. But most importantly you're bright, fun loving and enjoyable to be around. You're an amazing friend. More Rowi and Sher please. PLEASE.
Scribble: This is hard. There's so many things to say.
Eleven years you said... You are an incredible person. When you have something you're passionate about, you go hard until it's done and you put everything into it. Every time. It's powerful to see, awe-inspiring. I remember some of the first conversations we had in brief, even have some of your first doodles you threw my way. That growth and change is beautiful. I'm glad I got to see you get to where you are now from the start and here's hoping you keep getting to grow and express yourself.
Some of the best years of my life were spent with you. Trying to describe what you mean to me brings me to tears just trying. Just know that you're far more inspiring and loved than you may realise and people can see all the heart you put into your work. You are my best friend, my closest friend and I love you so much. I'll be here for you, I am here for you.
Chazo: You're a wonderful fella. One of my best friends without question. Even if we butt heads and have our differences, I can always count on you to have my back and be around if I need help. Don't think for a moment I don't appreciate who you are because I go silent or fixate myself elsewhere. I always look forward to hearing from you and am looking forward to a lot of that through the rest of my life. Get your projects going, too! I want to see your passion.
Nin: I'm so, so glad I met you. Even if I was a dickhead when we did. Your laugh, your sense of humour, your honesty always lends to entertaining conversations. Every time you're around, the room is just that much more lively.
Katie: Reconnecting with you has been wonderful. Not all sunshine and rainbows, but... sincerely thought it'd never happen. But we did, and gosh you are fantastic. I'm not letting you go. Even in stretches of silence I think about you a lot. Every VC we're in you're the life of the party, the hearth of the home. A lot of the things you've had to say about our troubles has helped me a lot, as well as a lot of others from what I've seen. No matter what happens, no matter how you feel, you'll always be my friend.
Pickra: You're just lovely to talk to. I appreciate who you are and what you do. I know we've not been friends long but I want to be someone here for you. You've been so compassionate, I want to be the same for you.
Skip: You're one of the kindest, sweetest people I know. You are unfaltering in your efforts to make others smile, it's like you're a force of nature. I'm glad that after all this time, despite distance and time-zones and life we are still friends. We are long overdue for a hug, mate. Keep doing what you do with that fire inside you. The love you have to give is something to treasure.
Harley: I have never, ever had a friend put such horrors in my head and have them live rent free like that... and find that endearing and kinda fun. You are a font of curiosities and a surprising amount of common ground. I really enjoy hanging out with you and it's really easy to do around you. Keep streaming, keep doing your thing. Be the you you want to be and I'll be here to support that. Yes, even through those movies.
Nel: Adorable. Cute. Sweet. My goodness I have to stop myself from giggling all giddy at you sometimes, you're too cute. You were there for me without hesitation or restraint when I needed it and we'd barely said anything to each other before outside of an hour of Helldivers. As much of a blur that day was I remember that clearly, and I'll never forget that.
Kim: It's always something I tell myself, that I don't know how we gravitated together after all this time has passed. I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for having you in my life. Such a joy to talk to, very sweet and very kind. Always a joy to see you, so don't be shy around me.
Forest: You never showed me anything other than love, respect, compassion and kindness. You lead by example and made me a better person for it. You brought me into your friend circles, and now some of them are my friend circles. My first real experience of "Found Family", I love them all and I have you to thank for it. Everything you have done runs deep and it won't be something easily forgotten. I love you.
Everyone who has reached out to me: You have all brightened my life up considerably. Given the common threads that pulled us together and the tragedy that sparked it, the community and compassion was far beyond anything I expected. Even if it was just a message or two, you helped me. You're all outstanding people and I'm so grateful to have people like you in my life. With such love and compassion in your hearts. I love hearing from you, I love talking with you. Please, never feel as if I don't want you around. I may be preoccupied or unavailable, but I will reply to you if you leave me a message.
Please don't be upset if you were not mentioned by name. After writing this much I can think of so many more names who have done so much for me. You are all important and you all have meaning in my life. I find it hard to believe anyone would give a damn about me for the most part, so when some of you who barely spoke with me in the past have made yourself a regular in my DMs, you bring profound sense of belonging and worth to me.
The tragedy of being human in the current day is making so many connections that run so deep and never having the time or energy to thoroughly tend to all those connections.
Please keep doing what makes you happy and keep being creative and passionate about the things and people you love.
Thank you everyone.
Take care of yourselves.
Posted using PostyBirb
2025 Update and reflection
Posted 9 months agoG'day.
2025 is upon us. A new year, another chapter in the journey. I've been intending to write an update for a while now, but put it off for varying reasons. Better now than never, I think.
How am I?
I am a mixed bag of emotions both shallow and complex.
On one hand, I am the happiest I've been, surrounded by people I love who love me in turn, more so than I believe I deserve. New friends and old all close and compassionate at every turn. This Found-Family I have is truly the best thing in my life that I have and I'm often speechless I have it to begin with. I'm glad I realised what I have, though I doubt I truly understand how deep it goes or how much it actually means. I love them all. I love you all. If anything, the strength you see in me is what you've given me. Even were I capable of great feats, I'd never be able to express what you all mean.
On the other hand,I'm facing the potential of having to move back home with family I will most likely be moving back in with family. I'm facing the fear that my parents age may be hiding undiagnosed medical/mental issues that may suddenly take them from me, fears that feel very real due to the recent loss I, my friends and this fandom have experienced within past months. That being said, still dealing with grief. Coping is hard, moving forward is hard. I'm doing it, but every so often something hits the right way and walls come down again.
That is all to say, I'm okay. I suppose this is life. Ups and downs. What else can I do but ride the waves and see where it all leads.
What are your plans for the year?
My plans are to pursue art as hard as I can. Both drawings and 3D.
I have plans to make content on the regular and upload on a weekly basis. I'd love to learn more about colour, shading, painting and getting faster at what I do. I want to stop being so fixated on making anything beyond a sketch clean and crisp. I just want things to look nice.
I have plans to practice 3D modelling more and learn what I haven't already. I'd like to be able to bloody finish something for once to an acceptable, usable state. Getting tired of staring at almost complete models being stumped on what needs to be done.
I am always around on Discord and I check my messages and inboxes on the galleries daily. Though I may not respond immediately, I am there and paying attention.
I want to be around friends more. I want to get involved in games a bit more as well. Host more gaming events on the weekends and such. Turns out I like hanging out with a lot of friends/people and just, shoot-the-shit while shooting shit.
I want to get drunk playing Halo or Metal Gear Online 3 with friends. Or something like that.
Commission Status
I am behind on commissions, though I have kept up with requests.
I will need to rework prices.
I will maintain old prices on orders made during last year.
I will not accept new commissions until new prices have been posted and the current queue has been cleared.
I want to add more kinds of content to my available commissions as well, potentially 3D models.
I apologise profusely for the delays and periods of silence on my end. I have not forgotten, I'm just trying to stabilise and balance.
There's really not else to say right now for this. That's where I'm at. It's a little troublesome to think straight some days and this is one of them.
I will, in the coming days,steal borrow an idea from 
maventreecat and write a journal to address and thank the people around me.
For now...
Thank you to everyone watching still. Thank you for your patience and thank you for being here.
Know that you matter.
I hope you've all had a good start to this year.
I wish this year is easier on us all.
Be your best self.
Posted using PostyBirb
2025 is upon us. A new year, another chapter in the journey. I've been intending to write an update for a while now, but put it off for varying reasons. Better now than never, I think.
How am I?
I am a mixed bag of emotions both shallow and complex.
On one hand, I am the happiest I've been, surrounded by people I love who love me in turn, more so than I believe I deserve. New friends and old all close and compassionate at every turn. This Found-Family I have is truly the best thing in my life that I have and I'm often speechless I have it to begin with. I'm glad I realised what I have, though I doubt I truly understand how deep it goes or how much it actually means. I love them all. I love you all. If anything, the strength you see in me is what you've given me. Even were I capable of great feats, I'd never be able to express what you all mean.
On the other hand,
That is all to say, I'm okay. I suppose this is life. Ups and downs. What else can I do but ride the waves and see where it all leads.
What are your plans for the year?
My plans are to pursue art as hard as I can. Both drawings and 3D.
I have plans to make content on the regular and upload on a weekly basis. I'd love to learn more about colour, shading, painting and getting faster at what I do. I want to stop being so fixated on making anything beyond a sketch clean and crisp. I just want things to look nice.
I have plans to practice 3D modelling more and learn what I haven't already. I'd like to be able to bloody finish something for once to an acceptable, usable state. Getting tired of staring at almost complete models being stumped on what needs to be done.
I am always around on Discord and I check my messages and inboxes on the galleries daily. Though I may not respond immediately, I am there and paying attention.
I want to be around friends more. I want to get involved in games a bit more as well. Host more gaming events on the weekends and such. Turns out I like hanging out with a lot of friends/people and just, shoot-the-shit while shooting shit.
I want to get drunk playing Halo or Metal Gear Online 3 with friends. Or something like that.
Commission Status
I am behind on commissions, though I have kept up with requests.
I will need to rework prices.
I will maintain old prices on orders made during last year.
I will not accept new commissions until new prices have been posted and the current queue has been cleared.
I want to add more kinds of content to my available commissions as well, potentially 3D models.
I apologise profusely for the delays and periods of silence on my end. I have not forgotten, I'm just trying to stabilise and balance.
There's really not else to say right now for this. That's where I'm at. It's a little troublesome to think straight some days and this is one of them.
I will, in the coming days,
maventreecat and write a journal to address and thank the people around me.For now...
Thank you to everyone watching still. Thank you for your patience and thank you for being here.
Know that you matter.
I hope you've all had a good start to this year.
I wish this year is easier on us all.
Be your best self.
Posted using PostyBirb
Two Weeks of Reflection
Posted a year agoContent Warning, this journal largely deals with the events surrounding 
Forest-Wolf's death.
I would like this to be the last journal I make on this, but there's no promises. Grief of this magnitude is not so quickly healed.
G'day.
It's hard to believe it's only been two weeks. It's hard to believe it's already been two weeks. It's hard to really understand just where I'm at with it all.
The loss is immense. I believe I have stabilised and am recovering, but there are times where I slip, crack and break, but only for moments. Attending the wake last Saturday lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.
Thank you to everyone who attended. And thank you to all the speakers, my friends. And to those who set up the event, I commend you for undertaking such an effort and responsibility. A whole VRC world made in a week to honour his memory. Sincerely, thank you all.
My recovery is entirely due to the network of people Forest had left behind and my close friends. I have met and spoken to more people in the past two weeks than I have in the past five years, I'd guess. Though the important difference is that everyone I have met through this has been gold. So much love and support given unconditionally to those effected.
To all the new friends I've made, you are welcome to approach me at any time. To all those who have only made my acquaintance or seen me in passing in all this, you are just as welcome. If we share the Forest's Patreon discord server, do not hesitate to approach me. I cannot promise I will have the time but I will do my best to reply.
To all the friends I already have or have reconnected with, thank you so much for allowing me into your spaces and your presence. It has been rough, we have all hurt. You've been there for me and I have tried to be there for you all. You mean a lot to me and I'm glad that you're all still here.
I love you all, you all have made me proud in what you've accomplished, what you've all gone through and still be here.
This experience has been harrowing to say the least. But has brought with it so many good things. As was his way, I suppose. Enlightening.
I do not wish to spend the time I have on this earth hating people and things. I do not want to spend my time around people who fixate and focus on the negatives in life and bring others down.
I want to spend my time spreading love, hope, happiness and good vibes. This does not mean I will not recognise harmful or manipulative behaviours in others, I have my limits, I just do not want to fixate on the negative aspects of life and interactions.
I would, for the first time in my life, like to travel. There's so many people I know that I've never met in person. I want to get into shape, I want to stabilise my income and I want to go give my friends a hug.
I want to develop more skills. I want to expand my creativity. I want to be more and do more. Provide more. But before all that I need to get myself healthier, start with making my habits and myself healthier.
I will be uploading personal work for a while. I have some positive stuff to sketch, and a little bit of vent art to make, once I have the bravery to face down that misery and put my emotions to canvas. I apologise if that upsets anyone or reopens some wounds.
Once that's done, it's back to work as usual. Back to improving myself.
Commissions will resume on the 23rd.
October may see a price change as I feel I am slightly undercharging for what I'm offering. Anyone who has already expressed an interest in commissions, anyone on my "list", will be on the current prices. Any new commissions placed from October 1st and onwards will be subject to the new prices.
Be well.
Love each other.
There is not enough time in the world to spend it hating each other.
Forest-Wolf's death.I would like this to be the last journal I make on this, but there's no promises. Grief of this magnitude is not so quickly healed.
G'day.
It's hard to believe it's only been two weeks. It's hard to believe it's already been two weeks. It's hard to really understand just where I'm at with it all.
The loss is immense. I believe I have stabilised and am recovering, but there are times where I slip, crack and break, but only for moments. Attending the wake last Saturday lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.
Thank you to everyone who attended. And thank you to all the speakers, my friends. And to those who set up the event, I commend you for undertaking such an effort and responsibility. A whole VRC world made in a week to honour his memory. Sincerely, thank you all.
My recovery is entirely due to the network of people Forest had left behind and my close friends. I have met and spoken to more people in the past two weeks than I have in the past five years, I'd guess. Though the important difference is that everyone I have met through this has been gold. So much love and support given unconditionally to those effected.
To all the new friends I've made, you are welcome to approach me at any time. To all those who have only made my acquaintance or seen me in passing in all this, you are just as welcome. If we share the Forest's Patreon discord server, do not hesitate to approach me. I cannot promise I will have the time but I will do my best to reply.
To all the friends I already have or have reconnected with, thank you so much for allowing me into your spaces and your presence. It has been rough, we have all hurt. You've been there for me and I have tried to be there for you all. You mean a lot to me and I'm glad that you're all still here.
I love you all, you all have made me proud in what you've accomplished, what you've all gone through and still be here.
This experience has been harrowing to say the least. But has brought with it so many good things. As was his way, I suppose. Enlightening.
I do not wish to spend the time I have on this earth hating people and things. I do not want to spend my time around people who fixate and focus on the negatives in life and bring others down.
I want to spend my time spreading love, hope, happiness and good vibes. This does not mean I will not recognise harmful or manipulative behaviours in others, I have my limits, I just do not want to fixate on the negative aspects of life and interactions.
I would, for the first time in my life, like to travel. There's so many people I know that I've never met in person. I want to get into shape, I want to stabilise my income and I want to go give my friends a hug.
I want to develop more skills. I want to expand my creativity. I want to be more and do more. Provide more. But before all that I need to get myself healthier, start with making my habits and myself healthier.
I will be uploading personal work for a while. I have some positive stuff to sketch, and a little bit of vent art to make, once I have the bravery to face down that misery and put my emotions to canvas. I apologise if that upsets anyone or reopens some wounds.
Once that's done, it's back to work as usual. Back to improving myself.
Commissions will resume on the 23rd.
October may see a price change as I feel I am slightly undercharging for what I'm offering. Anyone who has already expressed an interest in commissions, anyone on my "list", will be on the current prices. Any new commissions placed from October 1st and onwards will be subject to the new prices.
Be well.
Love each other.
There is not enough time in the world to spend it hating each other.
A follow up in grief
Posted a year agoNothing much has changed. Still hurt, still broken. Many of us still are.
I do not have an outlet I feel comfortable in sharing my pain. I never did feel comfortable doing so in view of others, I don't want to start or be a part of a spiral. But here I am, finding a way to share something of how I feel.
This passing has sparked some things in me, in a lot of his friends, fans and followers.
I can be better. I can do better. I can let him live on through me as well. He brought so many into his life with love and warmth in his heart and it radiated off of him. I want to carry on that legacy, his legacy.
I intend to make something for him. I'd like something to remember him by. I don't have the will to try and draw something that raw, not yet. I'm far too tender.
I intend to be a part of the communities he built and the friends he made. Everyone has been phenomenal in their love and support during this hard time.
I intend to spread the love that I can and give to those who gave themselves to me. You all mean so much and I love every single one of you.
But for now, I intend to grieve alongside his friends. Alongside my friends.
Love each other and don't let go.
I do not have an outlet I feel comfortable in sharing my pain. I never did feel comfortable doing so in view of others, I don't want to start or be a part of a spiral. But here I am, finding a way to share something of how I feel.
This passing has sparked some things in me, in a lot of his friends, fans and followers.
I can be better. I can do better. I can let him live on through me as well. He brought so many into his life with love and warmth in his heart and it radiated off of him. I want to carry on that legacy, his legacy.
I intend to make something for him. I'd like something to remember him by. I don't have the will to try and draw something that raw, not yet. I'm far too tender.
I intend to be a part of the communities he built and the friends he made. Everyone has been phenomenal in their love and support during this hard time.
I intend to spread the love that I can and give to those who gave themselves to me. You all mean so much and I love every single one of you.
But for now, I intend to grieve alongside his friends. Alongside my friends.
Love each other and don't let go.
In Mourning
Posted a year agoI'm just going to be straight here, I'm pretty fucked up.
SpottedSqueak / Forest-Wolf has passed away.
I've known him for ages, almost as long as I remember being in this fandom. He was always a joy to be around. Despite the difficulties of his life, he was always giving his best for others, being the best he could be.
He's been there for me in some of the darkest points of my life and helped me through them. I'm glad I was able to help him through some of his rough patches.
I wouldn't be who I am today, as a person and as an artist, without him. I wouldn't know so many of the wonderful people he called his friends. I feel blessed to ever have someone as sweet as him be a part of my life.
I need some time, but I'll be alright.
He has closer friends and family in need of more support than I do. I'm fuckin' devastated I can't imagine what you all are going through. For you all specifically, I know I don't talk much, I have no idea what I can provide, but I'm here for you if you need me.
Go love your friends and family.
SpottedSqueak / Forest-Wolf has passed away.I've known him for ages, almost as long as I remember being in this fandom. He was always a joy to be around. Despite the difficulties of his life, he was always giving his best for others, being the best he could be.
He's been there for me in some of the darkest points of my life and helped me through them. I'm glad I was able to help him through some of his rough patches.
I wouldn't be who I am today, as a person and as an artist, without him. I wouldn't know so many of the wonderful people he called his friends. I feel blessed to ever have someone as sweet as him be a part of my life.
I need some time, but I'll be alright.
He has closer friends and family in need of more support than I do. I'm fuckin' devastated I can't imagine what you all are going through. For you all specifically, I know I don't talk much, I have no idea what I can provide, but I'm here for you if you need me.
Go love your friends and family.
Commissions Opening!
Posted a year agoG'day.
I'm opening for commissions.
This week I will be opening ten slots: 4 Sketch slots, 2 line art, 2 flat colour, 2 full colour.
If you wish to place a commission with me, please head on over to this google form I have set up. Solid's Illustration Commissions
On Friday this week, 10AM AEST I'll pick from what I've got and stream two hours from then. Just in time for 8/8.
Please note I may not be able to respond to all inquiries, though I will try my best.
Posted using PostyBirb
I'm opening for commissions.
This week I will be opening ten slots: 4 Sketch slots, 2 line art, 2 flat colour, 2 full colour.
If you wish to place a commission with me, please head on over to this google form I have set up. Solid's Illustration Commissions
On Friday this week, 10AM AEST I'll pick from what I've got and stream two hours from then. Just in time for 8/8.
Please note I may not be able to respond to all inquiries, though I will try my best.
Posted using PostyBirb
Update soon
Posted a year agoG'day,
A lot has happened, I should update you all soon. Once I can sort my thoughts.
I need a break.
A lot has happened, I should update you all soon. Once I can sort my thoughts.
I need a break.
Scribble Obtained
Posted 2 years ago
alator has been picked up and is now getting comfortable here at home.We are all tired.
Posted using PostyBirb
Status Update: Moved
Posted 2 years agoG'day again.
I have now moved homes. I was fully set up by last Monday. House cleaned again, some stuff left to move out of one of the rooms to make room for Scribble, but everything else is done.
Scribble will not be here until this weekend. After they have settled in, I will be looking to resume commissions as full time work.
Posted using PostyBirb
I have now moved homes. I was fully set up by last Monday. House cleaned again, some stuff left to move out of one of the rooms to make room for Scribble, but everything else is done.
Scribble will not be here until this weekend. After they have settled in, I will be looking to resume commissions as full time work.
Posted using PostyBirb
Moving + Plans for the year
Posted 2 years agoG'day, again.
So, next week I'll be mostly unavailable. I'll be packing up all my stuff and moving in with (fa:Alator) and (fa:Taigon). If all goes to plan I should be set up and comfy by the 25th.
Beyond some fiddling and working out what's needed after that, I will be available again from that date.
My intentions after that point are to set up a commission schedule that I find comfortable. Settle into a new routine of work, working out and being healthier.
I have noticed over the year that my commission prices do not reflect the work I put in and their end quality. Specifically with full colour pieces. I find myself putting in a lot of time and effort, burning out part way through and not feeling that all the effort was worth the cost.
As a general idea, my sketches will remain low cost, but my higher effort work will probably increase in price. But will see as I iron out more details and reflect more on what's ahead.
If you have any ideas, thoughts or suggestions on commissions in regards to what you want to see from me, what you want available, do leave a comment.
If you have any advice for planning my commission work (as I have been out of the commission game for a long while), do share your insights.
If you have my discord and need to talk with me, gimme a prod. Else send me a note or private message here and I'll respond where I can.
Cheers, be well.
Posted using PostyBirb
So, next week I'll be mostly unavailable. I'll be packing up all my stuff and moving in with (fa:Alator) and (fa:Taigon). If all goes to plan I should be set up and comfy by the 25th.
Beyond some fiddling and working out what's needed after that, I will be available again from that date.
My intentions after that point are to set up a commission schedule that I find comfortable. Settle into a new routine of work, working out and being healthier.
I have noticed over the year that my commission prices do not reflect the work I put in and their end quality. Specifically with full colour pieces. I find myself putting in a lot of time and effort, burning out part way through and not feeling that all the effort was worth the cost.
As a general idea, my sketches will remain low cost, but my higher effort work will probably increase in price. But will see as I iron out more details and reflect more on what's ahead.
If you have any ideas, thoughts or suggestions on commissions in regards to what you want to see from me, what you want available, do leave a comment.
If you have any advice for planning my commission work (as I have been out of the commission game for a long while), do share your insights.
If you have my discord and need to talk with me, gimme a prod. Else send me a note or private message here and I'll respond where I can.
Cheers, be well.
Posted using PostyBirb
An update on me and recent events
Posted 2 years agoG'day.
I hope you're well. I have been okay.
As tempted as I am to leave this journal as just that, short and sweet, I would rather lay out what's on my mind and alleviate any concerns given the length of time between any activity of mine here. I'll try and break things down and be somewhat coherent in the rest of this journal.
Me - What's going on, how have I been?
I've been okay. Ups and downs, navigating the world of mental health, life choices, lessons from the past and where my future can go. I don't think I can add much of note that no one here hasn't experienced this year.
It's mostly been a good time. Hanging with friends, finding new things to do, studying Business and 3D modelling some more which I will show off sometime soon.
But, big good news, there's a 99% chance I'll be moving into a place with both my partner and my best friend sometime in September. Unless something really stupid happens beyond all of our control, it'll be a new life to settle into that I'm really looking forward to. Excited and nervous. <3
Burying the Blue Bird
Twitter sucks arse and I hate it. I have always disliked Twitter and as the years went on, it became easier for me to see why I did. Everyone migrated there, turned their page into a "gallery", used it for engagement. But soon enough if you follow more than just that artist, you're having to filter out random retweets of jokes, memes, random BS, and the slew of political shit. Twitter's filter system is garbage, ads are rubbish and the layout is fuckin' awful for browsing.
On top of that, every couple days it was drama of some kind. If it wasn't politics, it was fandom stuff. Sporadic outbursts of "X being a Y" and "*content* is harmful because hrmrmmrhph" over, and over again. Twitter was a constant binary argument platform for me. I didn't engage, but I watched it happen every few days. Sometimes legit problems, sometimes a bunch of gas-lighting. Sometimes a bunch of no-name tools stirring shit for a moment in a spotlight.
Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of awful stuff in the world worth fighting against, I do want to support the people I know are deserving of it, friends or not, and I try my best to share information that's important, but I can't handle a constant stream of negativity every single day, even if occasionally interjected with a dumb gif.
It wasn't worth wading through that much shit just to get a glimpse of what friends were doing at a particular second. Genuine mental health issues just from using the website. The Big E only made these issues worse along with bringing a slew of problems with him.
So I deleted my Twitter and I will not be returning.
This new furry website called FA
Complacent.
FA has barely changed in the whole time I've been here. I recall when I first joined the search function was broken, or something, and it took some time until it was fixed. Personally, I don't mind how FA looks, the layout is okay, it works. My issue is the backend. The mechanical and feature side of things.
FA lacks a whole bunch of features that other art websites have had since inception or have added almost a decade ago. I think the only things I can say I've seen FA update from a feature perspective is more species on the species list and a same for the list of genders. I... genuinely can't think of anything else that's been added that has been noteworthy. Which is disappointing to say the least.
The priorities for the website doesn't seem to be on making the website a better, cleaner thing to use with features useful to both viewers and content creators on the platform. No, it seems the focus is to be socially acceptable. Now I know that sounds kinda like a bad take but let me explain.
---
The content within the furry fandom and this side of the internet is rife with things that are risqué. For a long time the means to handle a more touchy, sensitive subject is to avoid it. I understand that legally there are some things that should not be on a website, but for all things that legally are acceptable, the means most turned to would be blacklists. Block lists. Keywords specific to those things to be put onto a user-defined list that will exclude that content from appearing on that user's end of their interaction with the website.
FA has lacked a fully functional blacklist for a loooooong time. Not to mention the thumbnail system had been broken for a long time as well, which some considerate artists attempt to use to hide content that some may find unappealing, only to find that it just doesn't work that way. I don't know if the thumbnail issue has been fixed, I just stopped browsing and stopped trying when it was an issue.
Despite how long blacklist functionality has been lacking, despite how many people on the regular complained about it and begged for it to be implemented and fixed for the sake of the whole userbase, nothing has been done.
FA has, over recent years, been refining their rules and terms of service stuff. Not everything has gone over well. Everyone probably remembers the vague pokemon rule implementation that just went through recently. Big uproar. Lots of people mad. A lot of unclear information that lead to lots of people effected and lots of collateral damage.
---
With that information in mind, here's my issue. Almost two decades of people asking for functional features to better cater the content they see and experience to their liking, specifically the ability to filter out content they dislike or do not want to see, FA have instead decided to tell people to not post things that may fall into an area with blurry borders. Instead of doing the work that basically every other art-based website does by default, the work has been shifted on you to assume what is and isn't okay based upon an unclear direction.
FA, by intention or accident, has been the hub for all furries for ages. To maintain that, you need to compartmentalise how your website functions to ensure that people can still interact freely and the content uploaded can be kept in places for those who want to see them.
This is not the actions I expect of a company who cares about its user-base or cares about their position on the internet within a large but niche fandom. These are the actions of a company that sees valid, tangible improvements in the user experience, user interface and user control as not worth their time, money or effort to do or do right. It's easier and less financially costly to rewrite or reorganise a small portion of the Upload Policy every so often than it is to program a blacklist on a... god knows how old website code-base.
As with pretty much every company or body of individuals running a thing that I've had my eye on for a while has done over the past 5 years, my faith is finally shattered and I don't believe they have our interests at heart, because they're not putting in the effort to improve the website. Which has lead me to look to updating other galleries and finding new places to be.
I am not leaving FA, FA left us. I will continue to upload here, read notes, etc, but I will upload elsewhere just as much as I do here.
Pick up your game please, FA. Give us a blacklist and the things we asked for.
Where can I find you?
I'll be here. Kinda.
I'll throw up on my userpage and a journal all of my current active galleries. It's been cut down a bit due to how some websites handle themselves so I either don't upload there at all or limit the content that I do upload.
I am considering opening a discord server just for me to upload and share my stuff with, directly talk with people, etc. But I don't produce often enough to really feel that's worth it. I'll consider it for longer.
Itaku has taken my fancy with the way it's laid out and the gallery interface, AND really cool with the split SFW/NSFW profiles. Neat as. Might see more of my stuff up there than here, though I don't know if I'll upload all of my current gallery there.
Speaking of, SpottedSqueak has made a tool to download your gallery for uploading elsewhere. Beautiful person, wonderful artist, fantastic friend, boon to FA and provider of useful tools FA won't make. https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10584471/
If you want to export your gallery and upload it to another website, look no further.
If you read this far, thank you. I know it's not easy to read big things these days, takes time, effort, attention, etc. I appreciate you taking the time to trawl through my ramblings.
I hope you're all doing well. I hope you're all taking care of yourselves and your loved ones and having the best time you can.
I hope you're well. I have been okay.
As tempted as I am to leave this journal as just that, short and sweet, I would rather lay out what's on my mind and alleviate any concerns given the length of time between any activity of mine here. I'll try and break things down and be somewhat coherent in the rest of this journal.
Me - What's going on, how have I been?
I've been okay. Ups and downs, navigating the world of mental health, life choices, lessons from the past and where my future can go. I don't think I can add much of note that no one here hasn't experienced this year.
It's mostly been a good time. Hanging with friends, finding new things to do, studying Business and 3D modelling some more which I will show off sometime soon.
But, big good news, there's a 99% chance I'll be moving into a place with both my partner and my best friend sometime in September. Unless something really stupid happens beyond all of our control, it'll be a new life to settle into that I'm really looking forward to. Excited and nervous. <3
Burying the Blue Bird
Twitter sucks arse and I hate it. I have always disliked Twitter and as the years went on, it became easier for me to see why I did. Everyone migrated there, turned their page into a "gallery", used it for engagement. But soon enough if you follow more than just that artist, you're having to filter out random retweets of jokes, memes, random BS, and the slew of political shit. Twitter's filter system is garbage, ads are rubbish and the layout is fuckin' awful for browsing.
On top of that, every couple days it was drama of some kind. If it wasn't politics, it was fandom stuff. Sporadic outbursts of "X being a Y" and "*content* is harmful because hrmrmmrhph" over, and over again. Twitter was a constant binary argument platform for me. I didn't engage, but I watched it happen every few days. Sometimes legit problems, sometimes a bunch of gas-lighting. Sometimes a bunch of no-name tools stirring shit for a moment in a spotlight.
Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of awful stuff in the world worth fighting against, I do want to support the people I know are deserving of it, friends or not, and I try my best to share information that's important, but I can't handle a constant stream of negativity every single day, even if occasionally interjected with a dumb gif.
It wasn't worth wading through that much shit just to get a glimpse of what friends were doing at a particular second. Genuine mental health issues just from using the website. The Big E only made these issues worse along with bringing a slew of problems with him.
So I deleted my Twitter and I will not be returning.
This new furry website called FA
Complacent.
FA has barely changed in the whole time I've been here. I recall when I first joined the search function was broken, or something, and it took some time until it was fixed. Personally, I don't mind how FA looks, the layout is okay, it works. My issue is the backend. The mechanical and feature side of things.
FA lacks a whole bunch of features that other art websites have had since inception or have added almost a decade ago. I think the only things I can say I've seen FA update from a feature perspective is more species on the species list and a same for the list of genders. I... genuinely can't think of anything else that's been added that has been noteworthy. Which is disappointing to say the least.
The priorities for the website doesn't seem to be on making the website a better, cleaner thing to use with features useful to both viewers and content creators on the platform. No, it seems the focus is to be socially acceptable. Now I know that sounds kinda like a bad take but let me explain.
---
The content within the furry fandom and this side of the internet is rife with things that are risqué. For a long time the means to handle a more touchy, sensitive subject is to avoid it. I understand that legally there are some things that should not be on a website, but for all things that legally are acceptable, the means most turned to would be blacklists. Block lists. Keywords specific to those things to be put onto a user-defined list that will exclude that content from appearing on that user's end of their interaction with the website.
FA has lacked a fully functional blacklist for a loooooong time. Not to mention the thumbnail system had been broken for a long time as well, which some considerate artists attempt to use to hide content that some may find unappealing, only to find that it just doesn't work that way. I don't know if the thumbnail issue has been fixed, I just stopped browsing and stopped trying when it was an issue.
Despite how long blacklist functionality has been lacking, despite how many people on the regular complained about it and begged for it to be implemented and fixed for the sake of the whole userbase, nothing has been done.
FA has, over recent years, been refining their rules and terms of service stuff. Not everything has gone over well. Everyone probably remembers the vague pokemon rule implementation that just went through recently. Big uproar. Lots of people mad. A lot of unclear information that lead to lots of people effected and lots of collateral damage.
---
With that information in mind, here's my issue. Almost two decades of people asking for functional features to better cater the content they see and experience to their liking, specifically the ability to filter out content they dislike or do not want to see, FA have instead decided to tell people to not post things that may fall into an area with blurry borders. Instead of doing the work that basically every other art-based website does by default, the work has been shifted on you to assume what is and isn't okay based upon an unclear direction.
FA, by intention or accident, has been the hub for all furries for ages. To maintain that, you need to compartmentalise how your website functions to ensure that people can still interact freely and the content uploaded can be kept in places for those who want to see them.
This is not the actions I expect of a company who cares about its user-base or cares about their position on the internet within a large but niche fandom. These are the actions of a company that sees valid, tangible improvements in the user experience, user interface and user control as not worth their time, money or effort to do or do right. It's easier and less financially costly to rewrite or reorganise a small portion of the Upload Policy every so often than it is to program a blacklist on a... god knows how old website code-base.
As with pretty much every company or body of individuals running a thing that I've had my eye on for a while has done over the past 5 years, my faith is finally shattered and I don't believe they have our interests at heart, because they're not putting in the effort to improve the website. Which has lead me to look to updating other galleries and finding new places to be.
I am not leaving FA, FA left us. I will continue to upload here, read notes, etc, but I will upload elsewhere just as much as I do here.
Pick up your game please, FA. Give us a blacklist and the things we asked for.
Where can I find you?
I'll be here. Kinda.
I'll throw up on my userpage and a journal all of my current active galleries. It's been cut down a bit due to how some websites handle themselves so I either don't upload there at all or limit the content that I do upload.
I am considering opening a discord server just for me to upload and share my stuff with, directly talk with people, etc. But I don't produce often enough to really feel that's worth it. I'll consider it for longer.
Itaku has taken my fancy with the way it's laid out and the gallery interface, AND really cool with the split SFW/NSFW profiles. Neat as. Might see more of my stuff up there than here, though I don't know if I'll upload all of my current gallery there.
Speaking of,
SpottedSqueak has made a tool to download your gallery for uploading elsewhere. Beautiful person, wonderful artist, fantastic friend, boon to FA and provider of useful tools FA won't make. https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10584471/If you want to export your gallery and upload it to another website, look no further.
If you read this far, thank you. I know it's not easy to read big things these days, takes time, effort, attention, etc. I appreciate you taking the time to trawl through my ramblings.
I hope you're all doing well. I hope you're all taking care of yourselves and your loved ones and having the best time you can.
October - November Update
Posted 3 years agoG'day.
I am doing okay and having a good time. I currently have
Alator visiting me for roughly a month, until mid-late November.
I am taking commissions here and there, but my timing is spotty and I'm unable to properly commit to times and plans given the nature of sharing a room with someone I haven't seen in a year and love dearly. Please forgiven my erratic scheduling during this time.
I intend to stream at my normal hours alongside my partner, which happens to be Mon/Wed/Fri 12pm AEST.
We stream https://picarto.tv/TheScribbleCat and https://picarto.tv/Ludash
If you have any interest in commissioning either of us, shoot me a note or hit up the google form on Alator's page
I hope you're all well, the heat here sucks but we're making the most of it.
I am doing okay and having a good time. I currently have
Alator visiting me for roughly a month, until mid-late November.I am taking commissions here and there, but my timing is spotty and I'm unable to properly commit to times and plans given the nature of sharing a room with someone I haven't seen in a year and love dearly. Please forgiven my erratic scheduling during this time.
I intend to stream at my normal hours alongside my partner, which happens to be Mon/Wed/Fri 12pm AEST.
We stream https://picarto.tv/TheScribbleCat and https://picarto.tv/Ludash
If you have any interest in commissioning either of us, shoot me a note or hit up the google form on
Alator's pageI hope you're all well, the heat here sucks but we're making the most of it.
My Twitter
Posted 3 years agoJust putting this out there since I've been noticing an influx of people trying to follow me.
I do have one, I do have it listed on my profile here. It's not a secret that it exists.
However, I am limiting it to people I know being allowed to follow me.
If you add me at random or I don't recognise you, I won't be allowing follows.
I don't use it for posting artwork, I don't use it for much of anything really. You aren't missing much of anything by not being able to see what I do there. I am actually just really inactive and lazy about updating and posting.
I do have one, I do have it listed on my profile here. It's not a secret that it exists.
However, I am limiting it to people I know being allowed to follow me.
If you add me at random or I don't recognise you, I won't be allowing follows.
I don't use it for posting artwork, I don't use it for much of anything really. You aren't missing much of anything by not being able to see what I do there. I am actually just really inactive and lazy about updating and posting.
Hello, 2022. Here's how I am.
Posted 3 years agoG'day.
It's been a good while since I threw something out here. For good reason I'd say, but I intend to share all that so you can judge for yourself, if you want. 2021 was a pretty shit year. Not to dismiss all the good I and others experienced, but personally for me, it was quite overloaded with negativity and some pretty depressing events.
Given it's been the new year for nearly a month now, I figured I'd flip the struggle switch off and just get to doing the thing I had been thinking about since NYE; writing an update on myself and my situation. Given recent circumstances around my friend group and peers I feel it's appropriate to say something now rather than keep everyone in the dark.
Don't worry, nothing terrible has been lurking in my life. I am physically and medically okay.
So that's where I'll start. Be warned, I am being transparent about my life and talking about mental health and other such things. If that's not your jam, ignore the next section.
I have severe anxiety and depression
This isn't something I thought I'd have, nor is this a self-diagnosis, but I suppose I'm not alone in this boat. I won't go into the details of how deep this goes, I'll keep it recent and relevant.
I had been trying to just smile off my issues and my, admittedly, crippling anxiety. It's easy to look cheerful and happy when I only interact with people every couple of months, if that. Truth be told the rest of the time I had let myself drown in negative thoughts and feelings and what was once my escape from that mental state became something that dragged me deeper until I felt I didn't have any options.
Most of the past five years, if you hadn't seen me, I was probably trying to drown out my thoughts by doing something mindless until I couldn't stay awake. Though at the time I hadn't realised just how bad it had gotten and how far I slipped.
Around November last year, I had a breakdown alone and away from everyone over something small I blew out of proportion and by the time it was over, the sun was rising. Just snapped at that point and realised I needed help. Proper help.
I started therapy last December. It has been enlightening and has really put my experiences and feelings into perspective. I already feel I have so much more control over myself and my life than I did the past five years, it's a night-and-day difference in perspective and how my lifestyle has changed. I'm actively taking steps to ensure that I am in a healthy state of mind as well as taking steps to keep myself from slipping again.
Rest assured that I am okay and even when things go wrong, I'll be doing everything to get back to this state of mind. I am okay, I will be okay, all things will be well.
If you are struggling with something in your life and you get to those points where you feel it's not worth waking up, please seek professional help and form a support group to help pick you up.
Intentions for the year
Basically the same as last year.
-Learn 3D modelling and animation
-Make a useable model of my Sona and some other characters
-Make some reference sheets for my characters
-Draw and stream more often
-Take some commissions
-Free-Art events
Though the difference between this year and last year is being honest with myself. Last year I intended to take the year to just focus on myself and my personal health and well being, then I spent the year taking commissions here and there and ignoring everything else, including myself. This year will be different in that I will be monitoring myself and gauging what I should and can be doing at any given time, setting a schedule for each week as they come according to that and working with it.
So I'll break some of these down to give some more insight into my intentions and thought process.
3D Modelling
Where I currently stand, I'm not comfortable taking commissions for 3D model work. There's still a lot I have to learn and I need to refine my process. The goal is to take 3D commissions at some point, for VRChat avatars and what not, but for now I just want to make models I can use, preferably entirely hand made models for myself.
Eventually I'll get to the point where I'll open for commissions, but for now I'll just be learning both on and off of stream.
Reference Sheets
I love my characters. All of them. Though some obviously carry a lot more sentimental value to me than most, I still love them all whether they be made by me, bought or traded from others.
I'd like to create reference sheets for my characters with some good quality artwork and all the information needed to show who they are and what features they have. I'd love to stylise them as well, if the character theme permits it.
But I won't be taking commissions for reference sheets. Taking long enough getting my sona done and that's pretty bare-bones for my standards. Sorry if I got your hopes up for reference sheet commissions, but I'll be declining those.
Commissions and Streams
I plan on taking things week by week and seeing what I can do in that given time, so commission slots may not be a consistent thing to happen. Streams will probably happen more often, though, regardless if I take commissions or not. I enjoy doing things on stream and interacting with people who come and watch, whether it be games or artwork.
I'll consider getting some proper layouts for both art streams and game streams to be a little more lively to look at on your screens. I have always enjoyed streaming artwork and those who show up are pretty much always a joy to talk with and I'd like more of that.
I'd also like to stream games more on twitch. I'm not looking to be big or anything, just looking to stream some games with friends or maybe some fighting games here and there. Simple stuff I can get drunk as hell playing and having a good laugh about.
And now that I'm sleeping proper hours I'm actually up to watch the streams of some friends, and I'm totally wanting to get involved there too, so. Yeah.
I want to stream more. :D
Free Art Events
This is what probably caught some gazes so I split it out into a section on its own.
What do I mean by "free art events"?
Frankly I haven't bothered to even think of what anyone else would call them, but simply put, I want to give opportunity for people to do things together to get/win free artwork from me. No, I don't mean artwork competitions or anything artwork related on the participant side of things. There's plenty of better artists and websites dedicated to the "art-for-art/prize" side of things.
What I intend on doing is hosting a day/night where a handful of people come together, play some games against/with each other and the people on top get artwork featuring themselves and the other participants in a situation of their choosing.
Obviously with the intent of group vore pictures.
Also obviously with the stipulation that the winner shows respect and consideration for the preferences of all others involved.
The intent would be to give people a chance to play games with/against other people in the fandom with a prize afforded by me to those that play. I ran a game of Mario Party with some friends, half of which had not met each other before and all went well. Even some artwork coming due to that. Just need to find some cheap or low-entry requirement games to make it much more easily accessible and I'd consider doing them regularly.
Friends, fandom, community, video/board games, laughs, banter, etc. Just the kind of fun I would like to see and be in more often.
And potentially with vore porn at the end. That's pretty good too.
Just to wrap up, I'm starving.
I am okay. The last few years have been emotionally and mentally rough but I'll pull through. I may go quiet now and then but that's just because I don't have anything to say, not that I don't want to be here.
I have some new furniture to order and set up, hopefully before the end of the week. Won't be very busy until maybe Feb. I might stream shortly after this journal goes live but I'll post a journal/image when I do.
I'll probably stream art/games on my birthday which is the 26th this month, I'll probably stream the whole day if I have things to do. Might just be some vore art here and there and then Monster Hunter Rise while I get blind drunk.
To all of my friends who have stuck around me whether we were in constant contact or sparsely spoke throughout the year, and my partner Alator, you've all been a part of keeping me sane and somewhat stable. I don't know where I would be without all of your constant love, support and company. You all are the most important entities in my life.
There are too many of you in my life that mean so much to me. Words cannot express the things you make me feel or the depths of my gratitude I have for having ever met you all.
Sincerely, thank you for being who you are and being in my life.
Posted using PostyBirb
It's been a good while since I threw something out here. For good reason I'd say, but I intend to share all that so you can judge for yourself, if you want. 2021 was a pretty shit year. Not to dismiss all the good I and others experienced, but personally for me, it was quite overloaded with negativity and some pretty depressing events.
Given it's been the new year for nearly a month now, I figured I'd flip the struggle switch off and just get to doing the thing I had been thinking about since NYE; writing an update on myself and my situation. Given recent circumstances around my friend group and peers I feel it's appropriate to say something now rather than keep everyone in the dark.
Don't worry, nothing terrible has been lurking in my life. I am physically and medically okay.
So that's where I'll start. Be warned, I am being transparent about my life and talking about mental health and other such things. If that's not your jam, ignore the next section.
I have severe anxiety and depression
This isn't something I thought I'd have, nor is this a self-diagnosis, but I suppose I'm not alone in this boat. I won't go into the details of how deep this goes, I'll keep it recent and relevant.
I had been trying to just smile off my issues and my, admittedly, crippling anxiety. It's easy to look cheerful and happy when I only interact with people every couple of months, if that. Truth be told the rest of the time I had let myself drown in negative thoughts and feelings and what was once my escape from that mental state became something that dragged me deeper until I felt I didn't have any options.
Most of the past five years, if you hadn't seen me, I was probably trying to drown out my thoughts by doing something mindless until I couldn't stay awake. Though at the time I hadn't realised just how bad it had gotten and how far I slipped.
Around November last year, I had a breakdown alone and away from everyone over something small I blew out of proportion and by the time it was over, the sun was rising. Just snapped at that point and realised I needed help. Proper help.
I started therapy last December. It has been enlightening and has really put my experiences and feelings into perspective. I already feel I have so much more control over myself and my life than I did the past five years, it's a night-and-day difference in perspective and how my lifestyle has changed. I'm actively taking steps to ensure that I am in a healthy state of mind as well as taking steps to keep myself from slipping again.
Rest assured that I am okay and even when things go wrong, I'll be doing everything to get back to this state of mind. I am okay, I will be okay, all things will be well.
If you are struggling with something in your life and you get to those points where you feel it's not worth waking up, please seek professional help and form a support group to help pick you up.
Intentions for the year
Basically the same as last year.
-Learn 3D modelling and animation
-Make a useable model of my Sona and some other characters
-Make some reference sheets for my characters
-Draw and stream more often
-Take some commissions
-Free-Art events
Though the difference between this year and last year is being honest with myself. Last year I intended to take the year to just focus on myself and my personal health and well being, then I spent the year taking commissions here and there and ignoring everything else, including myself. This year will be different in that I will be monitoring myself and gauging what I should and can be doing at any given time, setting a schedule for each week as they come according to that and working with it.
So I'll break some of these down to give some more insight into my intentions and thought process.
3D Modelling
Where I currently stand, I'm not comfortable taking commissions for 3D model work. There's still a lot I have to learn and I need to refine my process. The goal is to take 3D commissions at some point, for VRChat avatars and what not, but for now I just want to make models I can use, preferably entirely hand made models for myself.
Eventually I'll get to the point where I'll open for commissions, but for now I'll just be learning both on and off of stream.
Reference Sheets
I love my characters. All of them. Though some obviously carry a lot more sentimental value to me than most, I still love them all whether they be made by me, bought or traded from others.
I'd like to create reference sheets for my characters with some good quality artwork and all the information needed to show who they are and what features they have. I'd love to stylise them as well, if the character theme permits it.
But I won't be taking commissions for reference sheets. Taking long enough getting my sona done and that's pretty bare-bones for my standards. Sorry if I got your hopes up for reference sheet commissions, but I'll be declining those.
Commissions and Streams
I plan on taking things week by week and seeing what I can do in that given time, so commission slots may not be a consistent thing to happen. Streams will probably happen more often, though, regardless if I take commissions or not. I enjoy doing things on stream and interacting with people who come and watch, whether it be games or artwork.
I'll consider getting some proper layouts for both art streams and game streams to be a little more lively to look at on your screens. I have always enjoyed streaming artwork and those who show up are pretty much always a joy to talk with and I'd like more of that.
I'd also like to stream games more on twitch. I'm not looking to be big or anything, just looking to stream some games with friends or maybe some fighting games here and there. Simple stuff I can get drunk as hell playing and having a good laugh about.
And now that I'm sleeping proper hours I'm actually up to watch the streams of some friends, and I'm totally wanting to get involved there too, so. Yeah.
I want to stream more. :D
Free Art Events
This is what probably caught some gazes so I split it out into a section on its own.
What do I mean by "free art events"?
Frankly I haven't bothered to even think of what anyone else would call them, but simply put, I want to give opportunity for people to do things together to get/win free artwork from me. No, I don't mean artwork competitions or anything artwork related on the participant side of things. There's plenty of better artists and websites dedicated to the "art-for-art/prize" side of things.
What I intend on doing is hosting a day/night where a handful of people come together, play some games against/with each other and the people on top get artwork featuring themselves and the other participants in a situation of their choosing.
Obviously with the intent of group vore pictures.
Also obviously with the stipulation that the winner shows respect and consideration for the preferences of all others involved.
The intent would be to give people a chance to play games with/against other people in the fandom with a prize afforded by me to those that play. I ran a game of Mario Party with some friends, half of which had not met each other before and all went well. Even some artwork coming due to that. Just need to find some cheap or low-entry requirement games to make it much more easily accessible and I'd consider doing them regularly.
Friends, fandom, community, video/board games, laughs, banter, etc. Just the kind of fun I would like to see and be in more often.
And potentially with vore porn at the end. That's pretty good too.
Just to wrap up, I'm starving.
I am okay. The last few years have been emotionally and mentally rough but I'll pull through. I may go quiet now and then but that's just because I don't have anything to say, not that I don't want to be here.
I have some new furniture to order and set up, hopefully before the end of the week. Won't be very busy until maybe Feb. I might stream shortly after this journal goes live but I'll post a journal/image when I do.
I'll probably stream art/games on my birthday which is the 26th this month, I'll probably stream the whole day if I have things to do. Might just be some vore art here and there and then Monster Hunter Rise while I get blind drunk.
To all of my friends who have stuck around me whether we were in constant contact or sparsely spoke throughout the year, and my partner
Alator, you've all been a part of keeping me sane and somewhat stable. I don't know where I would be without all of your constant love, support and company. You all are the most important entities in my life.There are too many of you in my life that mean so much to me. Words cannot express the things you make me feel or the depths of my gratitude I have for having ever met you all.
Sincerely, thank you for being who you are and being in my life.
Posted using PostyBirb
Streaming
Posted 4 years agoStreaming more 3D stuff, multistreaming with alator
Come watch!
https://picarto.tv/Ludash
Posted using PostyBirb
alatorCome watch!
https://picarto.tv/Ludash
Posted using PostyBirb
G'day. Update time.
Posted 4 years agoNot a big update this time.
Around 8/8 there was a few things that really kicked my mood for a spin and I kinda just dropped everything for a bit. I'll post the work I did during that time when I feel up for it.
Right now I'm actually pretty knackered after a long stint learning modelling much more seriously. Thankfully, I'll have something to show sometime soon, once it's entirely finalised. As in, yes, I actually have completed a 3D model.
I feel accomplished. But there's so much more I want to do.
Sorry for being so silent, I'll be back properly soon enough and back into drawing and streaming and such, too.
Around 8/8 there was a few things that really kicked my mood for a spin and I kinda just dropped everything for a bit. I'll post the work I did during that time when I feel up for it.
Right now I'm actually pretty knackered after a long stint learning modelling much more seriously. Thankfully, I'll have something to show sometime soon, once it's entirely finalised. As in, yes, I actually have completed a 3D model.
I feel accomplished. But there's so much more I want to do.
Sorry for being so silent, I'll be back properly soon enough and back into drawing and streaming and such, too.
So what's everyone doing for 8/8?
Posted 4 years agoGot any plans? Anything special you'd like to do or get?
Anything you'd like to see? Anywhere you'd like to go?
What's the mood with you all this year for 8/8?
Anything you'd like to see? Anywhere you'd like to go?
What's the mood with you all this year for 8/8?
2021 + Updates
Posted 4 years agoG'day.
2020.
Shit. Very few things went well for anyone that I knew. I don't want to linger on the events of last year, but sad to say some of those events have messed my perspectives and changed me.
That year is over, I'd like to move on and make this year better for myself and the people around me.
2021
I have some plans and goals ahead of me that I'd like to work towards. I'll admit, a lot of them were my plans from last year that I didn't get to complete or work towards. Primarily, I want to get better with 3D work and shift my focus onto modelling and animation and taking that much more seriously. Amongst some other things.
But, regardless, I've slated this year to personal work and spending time with those I love, being happy, at least happier than last year.
Commissions + Thoughts
What about commissions, mate?
Sad to say, but I am probably going to put that down for a while. 2020 was a bit mentally and emotionally rough on me and I all but lost the drive to draw much of anything. I did over-burden myself, again, but I just wasn't having fun doing much of it and often resulted in drawing the attention people who enjoy the things I dislike, and then having commissions focus entirely around those things. By all means, the people I have met and spoken with have been great and, bar a few, have been a joy to talk to. But some of the work I've gone through has just drained me of enthusiasm.
Like every other year I take up commissions and burn myself out, I need to learn to say no and set boundaries for myself.
At the very least, I'd like to clear my slate clean. I only have one paid commission left to finish, but once that's done, I want to drop everything else that I've had on the backlog.
I feel like people see me as just another dude who draws things for money. Vore things and dick stuff, but things in general. While I appreciate the attention and I am honestly flattered every time someone has approached me for commissions, I want to stop for the foreseeable future.
What do you want to do then, maaate?
3D stuff, as mentioned before, is my focus. I would like to make an animated loop for my picarto stream. Maybe a few if another idea pops up. But I may as well make a short list of the things I want to accomplish or create.
- Full 3d models of Gav, Ludash, Solid, Solina and Kipi.
- A stylised reference sheet for Ludash and Gav with a focus on flair and theme similar to Alator's https://www.furaffinity.net/view/39252883/ that helps detail the character
- Some few short comics that help flesh out my own characters to better show off who they are.
- A simple vore animation.
It's not a long list, but these are things I want to spend my time working on. Personal things that help me be me and paint my corner of the internet in my colours.
But, furthering that, I want to be involved more with the friends I've made. I want to be there more than I am, more than just moral support and a voice of reason to pick people up when they're down.
Anything else? Any more thoughts? Maaaaaaaaaate?
Over the past year I've been finding myself more and more distant to people in the fandom. Compiling issues with individuals and groups, personal events changing my views and stance on things, self-esteem issues, etc. A lot of factors have had me looking at this fandom from a different lense, and with the frequency of which I'm encountering people who not only are interested in the things I'm not, it's becoming more frequent that I'm pushed off and ignored because of my differences and thoughts.
I don't blame the people I hang around for this. I tend to hang around people who I'm fairly close with who have opposing interests to me, but we're friendly and respectful of each other due to a long history with each other, they're great people and I love spending time with them. The fan culture around these friends though can sometimes be problematic.
Despite wanting to be closer and more involved with certain people and their friends, I really don't like joining communities. Too often is a community run by a dictator who enables problematic behaviour (to be as inoffensive as possible: artwork being shared without giving credit, art theft, character theft), or someone who turns out to be a pretty horrible person. Otherwise, I often find having been invited to a server quite hard to tolerate as there's always someone there who can't be anything other than the centre of attention, chiming in on every topic and within one message turning into a subject about themselves. Or just a.. discord server that's completely unmoderated and flowing with "friends" who would rather spam the server with shit memes, having zero emphasis on community and essentially just being a vore/belly/dick/species oriented shitpost hole.
But none of that is my problem in being able to connect with the community or individuals. The big issue, the important issue, is that I'm not interesting or engaging.
Now before anyone comes rushing to aid a fractured ego with kisses and bandages and a slice of orange, I want to be clear; I'm not making that assertation about me. I mean in regards to my artwork, my presence.
I feel I have created some solid background information and world building for the characters I have that set up and explain them, how their world works and their how that effects their interaction with the world they live in. So I've been told at least to the people I've shared all that with. But I haven't shared it here. I don't draw it. It's not showed in the things I get or make. All everyone sees is vore, porn, sometimes both or the implication of either.
Unless you read my other journal about my thogughts on vore or have been told by me personally, I wouldn't blame anyone who looks at my work and thinks all of my characters absolutely love the idea of chowing down on the next person to get in arms reach because their tumby went "grrr".
That's not who my characters are and it's gotten fairly grating to have that constantly pushed on me, but it's my fault because I have done nothing but encourage that.
I just want to spend my time cultivating my own characters and my own work this year, as well as getting involved with other people and their work and their worlds where I can. At the very least, I can satisfy myself and then move on to being just another selfish pred dude/lady on the side that people would rather me be, join the ranks proper.
Maybe.
Sorry for it being a bit scatterbrained at the end. There's a lot of unpacking I need to do and there's a lot more to it I won't go into.
At any rate, look forward to me probably being productive again maybe and hopefully some moogle/dragon/??? guts and dicks can be on display soon enough.
Make this year something good for yourselves. It's not going to happen for you.
Or don't. I'm not your boss.
But for real I'd love to learn how to tease people without being boring and bland as fuck and just taking the lowest hanging fruit at every opportunity.
Posted using PostyBirb
2020.
Shit. Very few things went well for anyone that I knew. I don't want to linger on the events of last year, but sad to say some of those events have messed my perspectives and changed me.
That year is over, I'd like to move on and make this year better for myself and the people around me.
2021
I have some plans and goals ahead of me that I'd like to work towards. I'll admit, a lot of them were my plans from last year that I didn't get to complete or work towards. Primarily, I want to get better with 3D work and shift my focus onto modelling and animation and taking that much more seriously. Amongst some other things.
But, regardless, I've slated this year to personal work and spending time with those I love, being happy, at least happier than last year.
Commissions + Thoughts
What about commissions, mate?
Sad to say, but I am probably going to put that down for a while. 2020 was a bit mentally and emotionally rough on me and I all but lost the drive to draw much of anything. I did over-burden myself, again, but I just wasn't having fun doing much of it and often resulted in drawing the attention people who enjoy the things I dislike, and then having commissions focus entirely around those things. By all means, the people I have met and spoken with have been great and, bar a few, have been a joy to talk to. But some of the work I've gone through has just drained me of enthusiasm.
Like every other year I take up commissions and burn myself out, I need to learn to say no and set boundaries for myself.
At the very least, I'd like to clear my slate clean. I only have one paid commission left to finish, but once that's done, I want to drop everything else that I've had on the backlog.
I feel like people see me as just another dude who draws things for money. Vore things and dick stuff, but things in general. While I appreciate the attention and I am honestly flattered every time someone has approached me for commissions, I want to stop for the foreseeable future.
What do you want to do then, maaate?
3D stuff, as mentioned before, is my focus. I would like to make an animated loop for my picarto stream. Maybe a few if another idea pops up. But I may as well make a short list of the things I want to accomplish or create.
- Full 3d models of Gav, Ludash, Solid, Solina and Kipi.
- A stylised reference sheet for Ludash and Gav with a focus on flair and theme similar to
Alator's https://www.furaffinity.net/view/39252883/ that helps detail the character- Some few short comics that help flesh out my own characters to better show off who they are.
- A simple vore animation.
It's not a long list, but these are things I want to spend my time working on. Personal things that help me be me and paint my corner of the internet in my colours.
But, furthering that, I want to be involved more with the friends I've made. I want to be there more than I am, more than just moral support and a voice of reason to pick people up when they're down.
Anything else? Any more thoughts? Maaaaaaaaaate?
Over the past year I've been finding myself more and more distant to people in the fandom. Compiling issues with individuals and groups, personal events changing my views and stance on things, self-esteem issues, etc. A lot of factors have had me looking at this fandom from a different lense, and with the frequency of which I'm encountering people who not only are interested in the things I'm not, it's becoming more frequent that I'm pushed off and ignored because of my differences and thoughts.
I don't blame the people I hang around for this. I tend to hang around people who I'm fairly close with who have opposing interests to me, but we're friendly and respectful of each other due to a long history with each other, they're great people and I love spending time with them. The fan culture around these friends though can sometimes be problematic.
Despite wanting to be closer and more involved with certain people and their friends, I really don't like joining communities. Too often is a community run by a dictator who enables problematic behaviour (to be as inoffensive as possible: artwork being shared without giving credit, art theft, character theft), or someone who turns out to be a pretty horrible person. Otherwise, I often find having been invited to a server quite hard to tolerate as there's always someone there who can't be anything other than the centre of attention, chiming in on every topic and within one message turning into a subject about themselves. Or just a.. discord server that's completely unmoderated and flowing with "friends" who would rather spam the server with shit memes, having zero emphasis on community and essentially just being a vore/belly/dick/species oriented shitpost hole.
But none of that is my problem in being able to connect with the community or individuals. The big issue, the important issue, is that I'm not interesting or engaging.
Now before anyone comes rushing to aid a fractured ego with kisses and bandages and a slice of orange, I want to be clear; I'm not making that assertation about me. I mean in regards to my artwork, my presence.
I feel I have created some solid background information and world building for the characters I have that set up and explain them, how their world works and their how that effects their interaction with the world they live in. So I've been told at least to the people I've shared all that with. But I haven't shared it here. I don't draw it. It's not showed in the things I get or make. All everyone sees is vore, porn, sometimes both or the implication of either.
Unless you read my other journal about my thogughts on vore or have been told by me personally, I wouldn't blame anyone who looks at my work and thinks all of my characters absolutely love the idea of chowing down on the next person to get in arms reach because their tumby went "grrr".
That's not who my characters are and it's gotten fairly grating to have that constantly pushed on me, but it's my fault because I have done nothing but encourage that.
I just want to spend my time cultivating my own characters and my own work this year, as well as getting involved with other people and their work and their worlds where I can. At the very least, I can satisfy myself and then move on to being just another selfish pred dude/lady on the side that people would rather me be, join the ranks proper.
Maybe.
Sorry for it being a bit scatterbrained at the end. There's a lot of unpacking I need to do and there's a lot more to it I won't go into.
At any rate, look forward to me probably being productive again maybe and hopefully some moogle/dragon/??? guts and dicks can be on display soon enough.
Make this year something good for yourselves. It's not going to happen for you.
Or don't. I'm not your boss.
But for real I'd love to learn how to tease people without being boring and bland as fuck and just taking the lowest hanging fruit at every opportunity.
Posted using PostyBirb
Returning to Commission work
Posted 5 years agoG'day.
Now that the month is out, I will be returning to my commission work.
Currently, I will not be accepting commissions for the first week. I have a couple personal projects I'd like to finish off first, dotting some smaller commission pieces I had lined up previously in between. Once this week is out, I will resume full time focus on commissions.
Uploads will also resume this week.
I hope everyone enjoyed October.
Now that the month is out, I will be returning to my commission work.
Currently, I will not be accepting commissions for the first week. I have a couple personal projects I'd like to finish off first, dotting some smaller commission pieces I had lined up previously in between. Once this week is out, I will resume full time focus on commissions.
Uploads will also resume this week.
I hope everyone enjoyed October.
Commission Information
Posted 5 years agoPlease check the journal header as to whether or not I am currently available for commissions.
Before commissioning me, there are a few things I would appreciate being taken note of beforehand.
I greatly prefer sketching over lining and colouring. I also greatly prefer single pieces as opposed to comics and sequences. I can sketch heaps of things all day and borderline never tire, but a handful of longer pieces drain me dry. The longer I have to work on something, the longer it may take. Please keep this in mind.
I will not be accepting commissions of characters that are not owned by the commissioner unless the character owner personally expressed permission for character usage to me. This is so I don't end up drawing something unwanted for someone who has no desire to be involved with the commissioner or the commission concept presented to me. If you are intending on getting a gift for a friend, surprise or otherwise, I will require the third party to send me a note expressing permission to draw their character in the depicted scenario.
I will not be accepting commissions where the only available images of involved characters are shown through dropbox links or otherwise not hosted on a user gallery. It's quite easy to just download a picture of someone else's character, chuck it into dropbox, discord or an imgur gallery or some such and claim it as your own. I understand some may want to keep their characters out of the public eye, but it makes it very difficult to trust whether or not the characters presented are legitimately owned. If at all possible, please provide references to a gallery you own or provide references from other artists that had created the images for you that clearly show you tagged as the commissioner.
If something you want is not listed here, please ask me.
What I will do:
Personalised artwork featuring your character or a friends character
Artwork featuring characters I own interacting with characters you own or your friends own
Fetish content related to vore
Semi-Hyper fetish content
Sexual content in general
Concentual Content
What I will not do:
Disposal/Scat/Watersport
Sexualised/Fetish depictions of minors/cubs
Base Prices
Sketches: $10USD
Coloured Sketch: $20USD
Lines: $30USD
Lines and Flat Colour: $40USD
Full Colour w/ Shading: $50USD
Modifiers
Additional Characters : +50% of base price per character
Simple Background : +50% of base price (Basic colour patterns, a simple couch, etc.)
Detailed Background : +100% of base price (Specific, complex or numerous elements, etc. Basically anything that I need to properly plan out)
Complex Designs : Varying % increase of base price per complex element (eg, complex character markings, complex backgrounds, complex objects, etc)
Before commissioning me, there are a few things I would appreciate being taken note of beforehand.
I greatly prefer sketching over lining and colouring. I also greatly prefer single pieces as opposed to comics and sequences. I can sketch heaps of things all day and borderline never tire, but a handful of longer pieces drain me dry. The longer I have to work on something, the longer it may take. Please keep this in mind.
I will not be accepting commissions of characters that are not owned by the commissioner unless the character owner personally expressed permission for character usage to me. This is so I don't end up drawing something unwanted for someone who has no desire to be involved with the commissioner or the commission concept presented to me. If you are intending on getting a gift for a friend, surprise or otherwise, I will require the third party to send me a note expressing permission to draw their character in the depicted scenario.
I will not be accepting commissions where the only available images of involved characters are shown through dropbox links or otherwise not hosted on a user gallery. It's quite easy to just download a picture of someone else's character, chuck it into dropbox, discord or an imgur gallery or some such and claim it as your own. I understand some may want to keep their characters out of the public eye, but it makes it very difficult to trust whether or not the characters presented are legitimately owned. If at all possible, please provide references to a gallery you own or provide references from other artists that had created the images for you that clearly show you tagged as the commissioner.
If something you want is not listed here, please ask me.
What I will do:
Personalised artwork featuring your character or a friends character
Artwork featuring characters I own interacting with characters you own or your friends own
Fetish content related to vore
Semi-Hyper fetish content
Sexual content in general
Concentual Content
What I will not do:
Disposal/Scat/Watersport
Sexualised/Fetish depictions of minors/cubs
Base Prices
Sketches: $10USD
Coloured Sketch: $20USD
Lines: $30USD
Lines and Flat Colour: $40USD
Full Colour w/ Shading: $50USD
Modifiers
Additional Characters : +50% of base price per character
Simple Background : +50% of base price (Basic colour patterns, a simple couch, etc.)
Detailed Background : +100% of base price (Specific, complex or numerous elements, etc. Basically anything that I need to properly plan out)
Complex Designs : Varying % increase of base price per complex element (eg, complex character markings, complex backgrounds, complex objects, etc)
Commission Prices to Change shortly + Update
Posted 5 years agoG'day.
Things have been good for me lately. Really rocky over the past few months but things have been looking up.
By the end of this weekend, I will post another journal in regards to commission prices, or otherwise provide direction to where revised pricing is. I've been finding myself a little overwhelmed by certain aspects of commissions. Too much time invested into aspects that I haven't accounted for. My options are, more or less, to charge more or put less effort in. The idea of putting less effort in kills that motivation for me to work and I would rather put more effort in than try an balance time with cost or put in something half arsed (since I can't make that look good and it generally doesn't fit.)
Frankly, drawing has been a bit of a drain for me lately. 3D has been really captivating and I've been making big, clear steps up. It's exciting, I realy want to do it more, but the amount of commissions I've got and the rather large workload doesn't really inspire the most enjoyable emotions. I'd like to clear my queue and settle for a more managable workload. Seems every time I open up, I take on more than I can handle and bog myself down. I gotta learn to say no.
That being said, anyone who has organised a commission prior to this is still welcome to their slot and will be unaffected by any pricing changes unless no price quote had been given.
I'm aiming to have everything started cleared by the next week. I will begin posting completed commissions come Monday, potential streams throughout the week.
Other than that, I am planning to go through the characters I've obtained over the years and start posting them to my FA. There's a lot of pretties I got my hands on and I would love to have them up somewhere.
3D modelling is going well enough. I'm on and off with it, but I'm making very large, clear improvements in my work. Ludash is coming along well, Gav is roughly in the same spot, and I've got a sculpt of the Mothlady I recently posted done fairly cleanly. Renamon heads though, hooh. I just can't wrap my head around how I want them done.
At any rate, some fun stuff to come, hopefully.
Be safe and well. Do your best to enjoy yourselves.
Posted using PostyBirb
Things have been good for me lately. Really rocky over the past few months but things have been looking up.
By the end of this weekend, I will post another journal in regards to commission prices, or otherwise provide direction to where revised pricing is. I've been finding myself a little overwhelmed by certain aspects of commissions. Too much time invested into aspects that I haven't accounted for. My options are, more or less, to charge more or put less effort in. The idea of putting less effort in kills that motivation for me to work and I would rather put more effort in than try an balance time with cost or put in something half arsed (since I can't make that look good and it generally doesn't fit.)
Frankly, drawing has been a bit of a drain for me lately. 3D has been really captivating and I've been making big, clear steps up. It's exciting, I realy want to do it more, but the amount of commissions I've got and the rather large workload doesn't really inspire the most enjoyable emotions. I'd like to clear my queue and settle for a more managable workload. Seems every time I open up, I take on more than I can handle and bog myself down. I gotta learn to say no.
That being said, anyone who has organised a commission prior to this is still welcome to their slot and will be unaffected by any pricing changes unless no price quote had been given.
I'm aiming to have everything started cleared by the next week. I will begin posting completed commissions come Monday, potential streams throughout the week.
Other than that, I am planning to go through the characters I've obtained over the years and start posting them to my FA. There's a lot of pretties I got my hands on and I would love to have them up somewhere.
3D modelling is going well enough. I'm on and off with it, but I'm making very large, clear improvements in my work. Ludash is coming along well, Gav is roughly in the same spot, and I've got a sculpt of the Mothlady I recently posted done fairly cleanly. Renamon heads though, hooh. I just can't wrap my head around how I want them done.
At any rate, some fun stuff to come, hopefully.
Be safe and well. Do your best to enjoy yourselves.
Posted using PostyBirb
8/8 and or Voregust
Posted 5 years agoGimme something to do for it.
R.I.P. MiniMike
Posted 5 years agoThis is important to me.
Kentam has passed away. I don't know the full details, only that it has happened and it was sudden and unexpected.
He was a good friend to me. I met him back in my beginnings in this fandom and was always a bright, cheerful person. From the day I met him until the last I spoke with him, he was always trying to bring happiness to those around him. That kindness he showed me extended to many others and this news has made waves. Though time-zones and our personal lives made it hard to keep in touch, we remained close and every moment we spent together was in smiles and laughter.
He meant a lot to me. He was a fantastic friend. It's hard to accept that this has happened. I don't know what more there is I can say.
Rest in peace, my good friend. Maybe I'll get to ride through the stars with you some day.
Kentam has passed away. I don't know the full details, only that it has happened and it was sudden and unexpected.He was a good friend to me. I met him back in my beginnings in this fandom and was always a bright, cheerful person. From the day I met him until the last I spoke with him, he was always trying to bring happiness to those around him. That kindness he showed me extended to many others and this news has made waves. Though time-zones and our personal lives made it hard to keep in touch, we remained close and every moment we spent together was in smiles and laughter.
He meant a lot to me. He was a fantastic friend. It's hard to accept that this has happened. I don't know what more there is I can say.
Rest in peace, my good friend. Maybe I'll get to ride through the stars with you some day.
