Fragmenting Personality Weirdness
Posted 9 months agoHi gamers
I do not think I'm plural, because I feel too me to feel like I'm someone else.
But that being said, my fursonas are starting to feel a little.
unruly.
A little bit like they're something separate from me.
But I still identify with them so hard.
I've kind of been representing myself with the gray hyena when I want to do a Me-irl I think that's been helping me feel real too.
I don't even feel as much the feeling of "I want to be like them" or "I wish I was like them" when I'm thinking about Max, Seamus or Beth, the sonas my brain usually goes to for "god I wish that were me."
I do not dislike how I am irl. But I feel like there's some weirdness tumbling around in side of me that I cannot quite figure out.
And the older I get the more I realize it's less about "Figuring it out" than it is about just being comfortable with where you're at. It just feels like logically.
At least all my fursonas feel like they would be friends and get along, even if they have some pretty stark differences. So that's nice. I'm not at risk of having any sort of internal fist-fight over base values.
dunno what this was anyways have a good sunday.
I do not think I'm plural, because I feel too me to feel like I'm someone else.
But that being said, my fursonas are starting to feel a little.
unruly.
A little bit like they're something separate from me.
But I still identify with them so hard.
I've kind of been representing myself with the gray hyena when I want to do a Me-irl I think that's been helping me feel real too.
I don't even feel as much the feeling of "I want to be like them" or "I wish I was like them" when I'm thinking about Max, Seamus or Beth, the sonas my brain usually goes to for "god I wish that were me."
I do not dislike how I am irl. But I feel like there's some weirdness tumbling around in side of me that I cannot quite figure out.
And the older I get the more I realize it's less about "Figuring it out" than it is about just being comfortable with where you're at. It just feels like logically.
At least all my fursonas feel like they would be friends and get along, even if they have some pretty stark differences. So that's nice. I'm not at risk of having any sort of internal fist-fight over base values.
dunno what this was anyways have a good sunday.
Ignore This
Posted 9 months agoEverything is fine dont worry about it :)
the wifi adapter stopped WROKING ON MY SURFACEEEEEEE EREE...
Posted 9 months agoSparky Is A Fursona Now I Guess (Also Post MFF Update +VI...
Posted 9 months agoSparky is the first time I've had a 'sona since Beth that feels wildly different than the most fursonas I've had.
She's still just an aspect of myself fursmogified into her own character, but this one feels a little different.
Playing as her online feels borderline like age regression, taking me back to 2013 or whenever you could point to me being a hopelessly optimistic hyper energetic internet girl.
I haven't had a fursona that lets me put myself in their paws in a way that makes me feel like something completely different than I am capable of being irl, and that's kind of fun.
Even though I'm not a sapphic pixie goth or an intersex purple fox, Beth and Max still felt like more traditionally logical extensions of myself.
There is nothing logical about Sparky. But it feels so easy for me to pesonify her hahaha.
But she's doing her best. If enough people call her a good girl she might explode into confetti.
Also I think I'm finally mentally back from MFF!!
Had a lot of fun. Took some more random footage of the con I wanna compile and post.
I posted a bunch of pics on my bluesky already
I have a bunch more footage like this.
I enjoy the "liminal" vibes of walking through the hallways at a convention, especially MFF. It's all very... human.
Ironically the humanity of the furry fandom is the most interesting part of it to me.
And anyone who doesn't get to go to furcons can now enjoy the people watching experience with me. :3
Also I think I caught a cold T.T
Starting yesterday I started to get all cruddy, did a covid test, i do not have tha rona, gonna do another one today.
She's still just an aspect of myself fursmogified into her own character, but this one feels a little different.
Playing as her online feels borderline like age regression, taking me back to 2013 or whenever you could point to me being a hopelessly optimistic hyper energetic internet girl.
I haven't had a fursona that lets me put myself in their paws in a way that makes me feel like something completely different than I am capable of being irl, and that's kind of fun.
Even though I'm not a sapphic pixie goth or an intersex purple fox, Beth and Max still felt like more traditionally logical extensions of myself.
There is nothing logical about Sparky. But it feels so easy for me to pesonify her hahaha.
But she's doing her best. If enough people call her a good girl she might explode into confetti.
Also I think I'm finally mentally back from MFF!!
Had a lot of fun. Took some more random footage of the con I wanna compile and post.
I posted a bunch of pics on my bluesky already
I have a bunch more footage like this.
I enjoy the "liminal" vibes of walking through the hallways at a convention, especially MFF. It's all very... human.
Ironically the humanity of the furry fandom is the most interesting part of it to me.
And anyone who doesn't get to go to furcons can now enjoy the people watching experience with me. :3
Also I think I caught a cold T.T
Starting yesterday I started to get all cruddy, did a covid test, i do not have tha rona, gonna do another one today.
MFF 2024 OVERED QUICKLY, THOUGH!
Posted 9 months agoHad fun! Was a low key vibe as I tend to do with mff these days.
Relaxing vacation (my body hurts)
Linktr.ee/sketchygenet
I am uploading con stuff to a thread in my discord server (Tha Sketchzone https://discord.com/channels/455779.....59034933968957) and on Bluesky (Sketchoyed.bsky.social)
I got some more stuff for people who couldn't be there along the lines of this.
https://youtu.be/YjFs2CPGiEs?si=CFdEOfjL7PdGym8c
https://youtu.be/_uJATgQfTdk?si=UFkqtcF0DsnpHv1K
Truly the being at a convention experience.
Relaxing vacation (my body hurts)
Linktr.ee/sketchygenet
I am uploading con stuff to a thread in my discord server (Tha Sketchzone https://discord.com/channels/455779.....59034933968957) and on Bluesky (Sketchoyed.bsky.social)
I got some more stuff for people who couldn't be there along the lines of this.
https://youtu.be/YjFs2CPGiEs?si=CFdEOfjL7PdGym8c
https://youtu.be/_uJATgQfTdk?si=UFkqtcF0DsnpHv1K
Truly the being at a convention experience.
MFF Fatfur Panel SketchyGenet POV (VID)
Posted 9 months agoGoing to the MFF fatfur panel at 10:30
Posted 9 months agoHuman image
https://bsky.app/profile/sketchoyed...../3lcrcnpnir22v
Not fursuiting. Dressed like this.
Taking it easy tonight. Likely gonna suit again tomorrow.
https://bsky.app/profile/sketchoyed...../3lcrcnpnir22v
Not fursuiting. Dressed like this.
Taking it easy tonight. Likely gonna suit again tomorrow.
MFF roaming out of suit
Posted 9 months agoReply or message sketchygenet on telegram
zo ma gawd itz da MFF FurFest journel1111
Posted 9 months agoGonna be at MFF Thursday evening to Monday!
I don't really plan anything for these things, but if I'm bored enough I might set up shop somewhere with my tablet and doodle as I tend to.
Trying to meet up at cons is the worst ever.
I guess I'm equal parts as likely to tweet a "hey im here" as I am to just make a journal here.
https://bsky.app/profile/sketchoyed.bsky.social
Probably gonna look Cool As Fuck.
I don't really plan anything for these things, but if I'm bored enough I might set up shop somewhere with my tablet and doodle as I tend to.
Trying to meet up at cons is the worst ever.
I guess I'm equal parts as likely to tweet a "hey im here" as I am to just make a journal here.
https://bsky.app/profile/sketchoyed.bsky.social
Probably gonna look Cool As Fuck.
Hosting Public Atlyss Lobby
Posted 10 months agoThe lobby is called "Sketchygenet's Pub"
Atlyss is cool as fuck.
Posted 10 months agoWill absolutely have to doodle my characters. This game rules.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/2768430/ATLYSS/
if you like action rpgs and fat girls play this.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/2768430/ATLYSS/
if you like action rpgs and fat girls play this.
does anyone know how to use beamng's camera path editor
Posted 10 months agoI am going to explode into 10,000 pieces trying to edit replays the way I'm doing it.
Identity and Lore Oversharing Journal
Posted 10 months agoSup pervs.
I'm trying not to be the most publicly dramatic person ever right now because I have very big emotions that stimulate me very much and I don't want to actually achieve mania, that's not on my bucket list.
I've had a particularly bad coping week and I came up with the Limestream as a way to keep me from getting stoned on my Friday nights, because streaming is too complex for me when I'm operating at that level.
My plan is to do a Limestream tonight, because I want to hold myself to that standard. I'm reaching for positivity, and pretending to be a character while playing a funny Terraria clone is a genuinely pleasant experience for me, so I could use me some of that.
That being said If it ends up getting cancelled because of the upwardly statement, know I'll be very disappointed in myself.
My existence in the fandom has switched from intending to fill a niche in the kink space for my exact flavor of depravity consciously to attempting at any cost of face to find any sort of joy and fulfillment in the creative process.
This is not an "erm I'm done with kink art" journal, because kink is too genuinely ingrained into my personality for me to separate myself from it, for better or for worse.
Also one of my hobbies is incessant un-neccesary world building, so too many characters I feel way too attached to have kink ingrained directly into their personalities.
So if you're just reading this to see if I'm gonna Limestream tonight, yea I'm gonna Limestream tonight, 7:30pm EST as normal. I wanna have fun tonight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSfmR5mgAFQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSfmR5mgAFQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSfmR5mgAFQ
No chat because world scary me rn. Not a permanent decision, just for tonight. We're trapping limes with her own thoughts tonight.
Okay, so this is what the title of the journal is on about.
Sketchygenet is the furry with 8000 fursonas hyperbolically.
I have like anywhere between five and ten fursonas. But I also write, and make a lot of ocs, and even the characters that aren't directly intended to be representations of myself end up becoming things that in turn affect the way I present myself and over-all value.
This is to say that I have been over time affecting the way that I am with my art by creating manifestations of my own personality, mixed in with other shit I've absorbed from the internet over a lifetime of being chronically online, and then endear myself to them in a way that makes me take to dressing, acting, talking the way they do.
What that means is I'm sub consciously making characters that I want to be like on some level whether knowingly or not, and then actually following through with it.
I would say my irl style reflects a lot more how I would depict max in art, in terms of clothing and how I want to carry myself.
But I also have dressed like Seamus, and at a time in my life where I would have more firmly identified myself as trans-feminine, Beth was my ideal self. Beth was my true fursona for so long even though I am not a 400 pound sapphic lesbian with pink hair and a honda civic who lives a self-indulgent life of promiscuity and thrill seeking, I am a 280lb agender,bigender,genderfluid left beef with no hair and a toyota corolla who lives a self-indulgent life of promiscuity and thrill seeking.
So she sort of still lives in my head and affects the way I act in ways that I may have not even been realizing.
I do not think I have any kind of dissociative personality (disorder?), and I'm not a psychiatrist, but I do have one, and I certainly have a load of questions I'm gonna ask next time I'm in the office with her.
I have a lot of extreme caricatures of fantasies I have in my head that I do not want to actually become.
I don't share a lot of my character's lore because I think most of it is underdeveloped and the "just for fun" nature of it makes some of it really absurd. (if I would have had the ambition to do a real webcomic when I was younger that would have been the real shit)
So I'm just gonna explain to you the ones that are in my head driving me the most insane right now.
1) Beth - Beth is hot, Beth likes girls, Beth has a nice butt. we all can agree on this. However where it currently stands Beth is an impulsive, egotistical, and somewhat manipulative person who smokes weed and drives recklessly.
These are obviously not aspects of my personality. If they were, I probably wouldn't be alive considering I live in Milwaukee and you need to pretend you're playing an ironman roguelike on hard mode when you're driving here. Beth is an extreme caricature of a handful of my personality traits. I do not want to get myself killed doing something stupid like driving high or hurt anybody I know by projecting my own fetishes onto them. (I don't think Beth is a bad person, but it's much more interesting to solve these types of inner struggles when they're more exaggerated.)
2) Seamus - Seamus is The Big Fatass Of All Time. He is not a particularly deep or multi-dimensional character, and is generally the pure embodiment of a sexual desire to be as fat as possible.
I do not want that for myself in real life. I'm already pretty big, and I very much like how I look, even if it's a bit goofy sometimes. (Look at the gray hyena in this fetish art I drew, this is like the most realistic depiction of me I've ever done. https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54223697/ ) I have a lot of experience with people who have gained too much weight and then not been able to maintain it, and I know the way that I am I would not be able to manage anything like that in real life.
And further more I don't really want to be a massively huge person in real life, being soft and comfy is plenty.
But Seamus has still been my fursona for years, I've always identified very strongly with being just a little guy who wants to be in a position of hedonistic vulnerability with power ceded to someone who knows exactly what I want. It's a very fun fantasy.
The last few days have been very rage-inducing for me, and if you don't give a shit, then please, just fuck off, if your opinions about politics is you wish people would stop talking about politics, just, quit reading, this isn't for you.
I personally am very tired of feeling like society will never catch up to me. I'm not embarrassed to hold that position, I don't think I know better than hardly anyone, but at least I have the tiniest hint of self awareness.
Honestly if anything, this is just a sort of. "If I can help it, everything will continue as normal here."
Keep finding positivity in your lives.
-SketchyGenet
A journal that isn't asking you for anything.
Posted 10 months agoI just want you to have as calm of an evening as you can.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Updated my linktree to be more relevant!
Posted 10 months agoMy Linktree should be a great centralized location to figure out where I'm doing stuff again. (rip cohost)
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
(Send me email and/or send Sparky asks it fires my neurons)
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
https://linktr.ee/sketchygenet
(Send me email and/or send Sparky asks it fires my neurons)
(18+ Chill No Mic) Starpounds Limestream 7:30pm CST TONIG...
Posted 10 months agohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzmVhaFuEhU
I promise I'm an artist who uploads art.
But also Limestream tonight!!!
The poor (s)lime glaceon has found herself subject to a rather intense week of constant eating to not only maintain her weight from the previous stream, but actually manage to pack on some more. We found her wasting precious energy and calories prettying up the mineshaft so we sent Rehema to make sure she had a feeding tube strapped to her face for a decent portion of the rest of the week. Combine that with a lazy Halloween filled with endless candy and spooktube binging, Limes may have to put in a little more effort into heaving herself around today than she expects.
This week the plan is to swap between dismantling a prison and mining for hella ore.
I promise I'm an artist who uploads art.
But also Limestream tonight!!!
The poor (s)lime glaceon has found herself subject to a rather intense week of constant eating to not only maintain her weight from the previous stream, but actually manage to pack on some more. We found her wasting precious energy and calories prettying up the mineshaft so we sent Rehema to make sure she had a feeding tube strapped to her face for a decent portion of the rest of the week. Combine that with a lazy Halloween filled with endless candy and spooktube binging, Limes may have to put in a little more effort into heaving herself around today than she expects.
This week the plan is to swap between dismantling a prison and mining for hella ore.
Once again I am Webfishing
Posted 11 months agoif u ever wanted to fish with a lesbian dog before.
96Z4C
96Z4C
O yea webfishin time ICVG2
Posted 11 months agoif u win u get a 100x100 mspaint pic
>B3
>B3
Anyone wanna play webfishing in like an hour
Posted 11 months agoI just need to buy a splitter for my dedicated tiny idle game monitor and I'll set up a lobby and post the code in the comments if anyones interested.
whoever catches the biggest fish gets a mspaint doodle.
whoever catches the biggest fish gets a mspaint doodle.
furries who read journals
Posted 11 months agoyou truly are gods strongest warriors
Well that was fun. (LIMESTREAM 1 VOD LINK)
Posted 11 months agohttps://www.youtube.com/live/7PPhvJOKv2Y <---- Vod link
The Limestream was really comfy! I might make a habit out of it!
I cant decide if whistfully wandering around until I max out Limes' stats is more fun than pointedly trying to come up with objectives.
I guess the two options do not need to be mutually exclusive.
The Limestream was really comfy! I might make a habit out of it!
I cant decide if whistfully wandering around until I max out Limes' stats is more fun than pointedly trying to come up with objectives.
I guess the two options do not need to be mutually exclusive.
Limestream in 20 Min!!! (Link)
Posted 11 months agohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
Gaining/Gaiming/Gaining
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PPhvJOKv2Y
Gaining/Gaiming/Gaining
Da Limestreams in an HOUR
Posted 11 months agoA Starbound Planet Survey Youtube Video to Watch in Bed
Posted 11 months agoWent to fang
Posted 11 months agoRealest furmeet ever I'm very wrong about Madison.