So yeah! I kind of just vanished a few years ago from posting, commenting, journal posts, even drawing. It's a long story and half of it I can't really remember, probably for the best, but here goes a long awaited update for everyone who still remembers me let alone still follows me lol!

This is kinda rambly, i'm out of touch when it comes to making journal entries, apologies.

Over four years ago when I was a much more active creator and poster art for me was something I did partly out of fun but also partly out of jealousy of others I followed and knew, yes that jealousy did drive me to draw but it also drove me to stay up until the morning night after night driving myself into the ground trying to draw. I don't remember much of it but I do know that back then I was in a MUCH worse mental place than I am now; depression, anxiety, a myriad of other issues as well as interpersonal issues with my family contributed to dare I saw something of a self destructive lifestyle. The aforementioned staying up to like 5am in the morning meaning I barely got any sleep, I was cranky when I was awake and it just ruined me, and believe me trying to be creative while drowsy as sin makes for bad art and therefore the idea of a failed night of drawing. If that makes sense. This in addition to being in several discord groups dedicated to art that just amplified the problems, but also gave me a good group of people to help me and give me advice. A group that I am glad are still around but i'm ashamed that I too for granted.

So came a heatwave of I think 2018? maybe 19 I can't remember, way before Covid hit us, and I was forced to not draw digitally one night because it was so hot my tablet was basically covered in sweat. Gross I know but damn it felt like a weight of sorts had been lifted from me; I didn't draw! I was forced to not draw for several days by something out of my control and it felt great! It kind of broke that evil spell over me that made me keep going regardless of health or sanity, and it felt awesome. That was the catalyst that began my gradual improvement, but also my gradual slowing down of posting and then the current indefinite pause, sure I still did some here and there but nowhere near to what I did before art wise.

I think breaking this addiction (Not sure if I should use that word, it certainly felt like one to me but there are people with legit addictions out there I don't want to discount) was the start of my improvement. Since then i've had a steady job in town where i'm doing quite well, surprisingly so imo, my mental state has improve drastically due to many reasons; firstly improving relations with parents and being able to confide and ask them for help, secondly with counselling that has REALLY helped me with working out my own worries and giving me the confidence and understanding to deal with issues myself and thirdly and probably most importantly for me going forwards... I accepted and have come out that I am transgender to pretty much all my family as well as friends and work colleagues; currently seeing myself as non binary but still testing the waters to see how else I can be my true self.

My name now is still officially Jack, like on passports, but my preferred name is Jayme and my pronouns are them/they/their. And damn if this hasn't been liberating I don't know what will. I feel so much more confident and outgoing after I came out a bit over a year ago; new clothes, new ideas, it's like I prestiged and now entering a new part of life. it's great! I've felt way better about myself mentally and physically too, just improvement all around!

Also sadly my old laptop died before I was able to back up the majority of my digital stuff as well as my fantasy world building work... for the latter that was alright, it needed a clean slate since it was a jumbled mess of notes, ideas and codex entries but for the former yeah; I lost a ton of old wips and the like. It numbed me but I eventually came to terms and carried on, it might still be there but i'm dare I say over it. I reworked my world building into something semi coherent and the art I was able to recover was the stuff I was most worried about so that's the silver lining I guess. Got a new gaming laptop though which is pretty fun!

As for art and creating stuff though that's slowed down a lot, but it's more a thing I WANT to do instead of feeling like I NEED to do it. I do doodle and draw here and there and do try to paint miniatures more now, but I don't feel bad for not doing it. I spent years of my life tied down to this hobby seeing it as an obsession, it's about time I just enjoyed life and the things I like in it. I might start uploading stuff again, we'll see, got some digital wips done as well as more traditional stuff, might even upload more miniature photos too!

So yeah... Ryadrus, the annoying artist from years past is sort of back XD But really this was just an update since I felt like I should have done this years ago, I did just disappear for the most part. Hope you're all doing well, i'm sure a ton has changed for a load of people! It'd be nice to chat with people again if that's something folks want, and if anyone has any questions don't hesitate to ask!

<3 Jayme

PS: i'll be updating my account page details; name, age, etc, later on. I'm too tired now

Damn I really don't upload much do I :/ I do feel down knowing the big days are behind me, i'm still drawing but not uploading. It's pretty much for fun now and the big compulsion I once had isn't really a thing now. I don't feel more jealous of art than anyone else would be and i'm mostly ok with skipping days of drawing; while i've slowed down it's become a legit hobby now! I do miss the people though, the community here but i'm making an effort to be here more! Still I'm sure things are going well here! Whatever happens you're all awesome!

A boost for Quedles, she has a ton of adopts ready for new owners!
https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery...../316961/Adopts
https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery...../316961/Adopts
https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery...../316961/Adopts

I hope you have a look at them!

Now it's nearing that time of year isn't it, Christmas is upon us! I hope everyone has a nice and safe time this festive season, filled with family, happiness, lots of food and a general great feeling :D

How is everyone doing in this... hotter than hell time seriously the weather here in South England is very bad in my opinion at least. I really don't like the heat :P

Update wise there isn't really much; i've been drawing on and off for a while, nothing major really just for funs. Not much in the way of Mass Effect art though, aside from a couple sketches that's off the table for a while but fantasy art? yeah there's a lot! Might upload some here soon I don't know.

About a week ago it was my 23rd birthday! Had a little trip down to Brighton, it was a nice trip but damn was it warm. It also marks the time that four years ago I started drawing digital! But sadly not with my original tablet, my old Bamboo kinda pooped itself so I bought an Intuos recently, so far it's working well but due to the heat i've not done much. Hard to find motivation with this all encompassing heat. But I hope others are taking it better than me :)

So aside from that there's not been much happening, Summers are usually slow for me. But aside from that what's up everyone? I feel like I need to do a bit of catch up here since I fell off the grid.

It's been a while since I was last here, I do pop in off and on sometimes, I also visit my deviantart account. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone i've met since I joined here. From that time years ago I've turned sketching into a full hobby and have improved so much since then. Without the help of people here and over on DA I wouldn't be where I am today, I wouldn't have had such great friends either. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart thank you so much for having me here and for helping me through some bad and good times.

Don't think this is a goodbye or anything, just because i'm quiet doesn't mean i'm not active. Indeed i've been drawing a ton lately... far too much but ehh keeps me busy. But yeah, even though I don't comment much or talk much I hope yous know how high regard I see you with. You're all great, a great community too. <3 Stay awesome you lot!

 TurianofHyrule is offering a load of discounted commissions!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8706273/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8706273/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8706273/

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8673464/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8673464/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8673464/

 TurianOfHyrule has opened $5 chibi commissions! Go and have a looksee!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8673464/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8673464/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8673464/

It's difficult to get back into it but i'm finally doing art of my Turians again! I don't have any new ideas for them, i've been away from them and Mass Effect for quite some time but i've got a few wips that need attention :)

I've been pretty quite quiet lately here but i've not been slacking. I've been busy sketching on paper! I started a few weeks back and it's been fun and i've been improving. It's mostly been pose sketches and construction of a body but i've also done a few faces. It's not the best but I like them!

Digitally i've been slacking a bit, all that traditional stuff replaced what I do digitally for about two weeks and i'm just coming back into digital. I owe some people art and i'm going to make them my priority, since now I can draw pretty much when I want in traditional.

But aside from that not much has happened! Got a bit of a flu though -_- it's annoying but manageable. I hope everyone is doing well and the art is flowing :)

Allllsooooo i'm going to get myself a phone case with various comms Ive got from great artists :) Just thought i'd say because why not?

Hope people had a good valentines day. I don't know if people celebrate it but all I know is that the weather here on that day was pretty much stereo-typically English! Rain, wind, rain and more rain. It was nice!

I'll cut to the chase. I've been quiet here because Mass Effect as a genre to draw has kind of died off for me, if that makes sense. I still love the series and my characters (Iccia, Jakis and co) but i've not felt a drive to draw them. I've been busy and enjoying drawing other things, my fantasy and D&D characters, i've got a lot of wips of them in the pipeline, basically I enjoy drawing them more than Turians, asari and mass effect in general. It saddens me that that's a fact but it's the truth.

I do still have wips of Mass Effect characters and do intend to finish drawing them, but I feel like i'm letting people down a bit because i'm not doing them. My account here and mostly on Deviantart are primarily Mass Effect art accounts and not drawing that stuff's a bit pants :/ I do want to upload my other art here but none of that's finished :P

Still even though I don't upload much I still am grateful for everyone who followed me and enjoys my art, you made me want to continue to draw and still do. Knowing people like what I do is a boost, I may not be the best in the world but to be in someone's good books is great! I won't be leaving this place, oh don't you think I will! As long as I draw i'm still on Furaffinity and Deviantart, just the 'need' to work on stuff to upload is no longer driving me, it's now the act of drawing itself.

I have decided to also work in a certain amount of things each week, last week was couples and OTP art and next week I think i'll do some Mass Effect stuff, probably finish up some Iccia/Jakis art because that never fails to bring a smile to my face.

I hope everyone who reads through this drivel has had a good new year and a start to 2018. I certainly did! Last weekend I went to Nottingham to Warhammer World! You know you've had a good time at a place when you've taken about 370 photos! Obviously I can't upload them all here but if anyone's interested I can post a few :)

Though I don't feel that christmas-y myself I do hope everyone else has a lovely time tomorrow/today! Hope you have a lovely time with friends and family, have lovely good and get and give sweet gifts :) But most of all stay safe!

So December's been quite eventful on my end. Most notably is that i've gotten myself a christmas job! working in a supermarket nearby. Hours and pay aren't bad though only having 15 minutes of break for about seven hours of work doesn't seem right. Still it's been alright though has impacted my art a lot, having early starts as well as late finishings. To everyone i'm drawing for your pieces are at the top of my to do list but I don't have much time to do them in, i'm sorry for that but after christmas things should be better.

Art itself has been a bit slow, motivation's been less than i'd like but that's not all bad, i'm happy with my skill right now so I don't mind taking breaks. I've got so many wips and ideas I can afford to take some time off. Things on the art front are honestly pretty good, jealousy is pretty low too!

Also christmas is but a week away, feels strange honestly I can remember last christmas vividly. Can't believe it's been a year, so much has happened. some good some not so. Artists i follow and watch have gotten better, I've seen a lot of improvement in myself too!

Now i'm just rambling, basically if i owe you art sorry it's taking so long but between my new hours these couple of weeks drawing anything has been difficult. Still i'll get them done! Hope everyone's doing well too!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25543795/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25543795/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25543795/

 Fralea is offering a very sweet YCH for this year's Hanukkah (Hope i'm using the right words!) Go and have a look though, and place a bid if you too like it :D

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25543795/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25543795/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25543795/

Firstly i've been slowly getting back unto Turians and have found some old wips of my Quarian Mica'Lazia! I'm going to dust them off and finish them up (With some new improvements) and upload here. I've recently come out from a five day art break, felt so weird not drawing for that long but i'm back now ;)

Also I hope the Americans here had a nice Thanksgiving yesterday :)

As for the question; would people like to see my other art uploaded here? Since I don't draw mass effect much I feel like i've distanced myself from the group, so I want to show off a bit more and the only way I think I can do that is post art. Basically would people want to see fantasy and sci fi art? D&D and Destiny, that kinda thing?

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8497891/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8497891/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8497891/

I'd highly recommend you give this a look, I was part of it last year and it was quite a lot of fun! I hope a lot of people go in for it this year!

Basically I don't have any plans to draw more Turians, or mass effect for that matter after I complete the wips I have already. I want to know from people who watch me if they'd be ok if I stopped drawing them? or if they'd want me to continue drawing Turians, Asari, etc. I won't deny the magic's somewhat lost, I don't rp them anymore and I feel less inclined to post or even visit FA than I used to. Also, this might sound weird, but I don't feel like i'm growing distant from the ME art community here as well. It's good and bad; good since I don't feel pressure to draw Mass Effect, bad since I don't talk to people here nearly as much as I used to.

I guess I don't have the Mass Effect buzz anymore, must be bad that I gave up on a Trilogy run and uninstalled Andromeda :P But seriously after about two and a half years I think i'm going to put Mass Effect to bed for a while, at least until they make another Mass Effect game, and that's not even a certainty.

But yeah; what do you think, do you have any input to my dilemma? I'll still draw Turians and Mass Effect if you want me to but don't expect anything quickly. I might do small freebies or trades, a collab even. I value and work upon what others think as many of you know.

Whatever you think; hope you had a good week and thank goodness it's friday. :)

I've been drawing Turians for over two years, before I got a Wacom tablet even. I was quite good at it, but since i've diverted to drawing other characters, mostly humanoid ones, I feel like i've somewhat lost my 'mojo' in drawing them. Not the drive to draw them but the actual skill to do so, I tried drawing my Iccia earlier but it just didn't work out.

I believe i've been drawing humans so much that's sort of overwritten my Turian drawing skills. I'm going to push myself to practice them, at least do something for N7 day this year. I hope I can get back into them, I wager most of the people who follow me here are here for Turians.

Still, if anyone has advice for drawing Turians. Mostly the basics of making the pose itself not so much the detailing, i've still got that, anything though would be appreciated.

Hope everyone's ok, and that you all had a good Halloween and if you celebrate it have a nice Guy Fawkes night!

 KuroChi has a cool Mass Effect ych on offer! Go have a look!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25187217/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25187217/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25187217/

I feel less and less inclined to draw them, even though they mean so much to me. Instead i'm drawing other characters from other games and genres. It's not that I don't want to draw my Turians, more that Mass Effect has partly lost it's hold on me (I wont deny I think Andromeda was part of that)

I've got sketches for my Turians sure, lots in fact, just no gumption to do them.

Shall I give them a full break? like until Christmas or something?

I dunno, either way hope everyone's doing ok!

Go and visit the Wyrm's lair, it's... bare for now but in time I hope to pose all art whether it be Mass Effect, Destiny, fantasy and maybe a little nsfw stuff there. You can chat to me there too and even RP if you feel like it :)

https://ryadrus.tumblr.com/
https://ryadrus.tumblr.com/
https://ryadrus.tumblr.com/

Hello peoples, how have you all been?

So it's been a month since my last journal, probably the longest space between them ever in fact. First things first Destiny 2! I'm looking forward to that tomorrow, heard a lot of good from reviewers and friends alike. If anyone's on PS4 and wants to play or raid hit me up :)

Secondly art. Like the last update i'm still doing a ton right now, i'm trying to keep doing Mass Effect art but honestly I feel like that time has past, for the time being anyway. I'm not giving up on ME art but i'm doing more fantasy and practice arts, elves and sketches, things like that. It's going well so far, i've felt like i've been improving steadily but still it will be a long road until i'm on the level some artists are at, so it's a challenge to push myself there! I do still get jealous feelings but they're managed now, if I see art I envy I see why I envy it and work towards making that, say shading or the eyes of a piece, I aim to emulate it.

Would people want me to upload my fantasy and D&D art here? I did plan to only post it to Deviantart but if you wanna see elves and tieflings here I will do so :) as well i've branched out into more NSFW art, honestly it's good practice for drawing bodies and anatomy.

Also i've not been having any heart murmurs or palpitations since July! I changed my diet up, eating healthier and cutting down on fizzy drinks, they're more of an actual treat now instead of having a bottle once a day, more of once or twice a week now. Feels good man, plus there's a lot of veggie food i'm trying now and enjoying.

So yeah, things are going well imo! Just wish I could draw more than I do and actually finish stuff!

 Sinosaurus is new to Furaffinity! and has been kind enough to offer this! Free lewd sketches! Follow the link!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8358008/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8358008/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8358008/
v
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8358008/

Two years ago I got my Wacom Bamboo and started drawing turians. In the two years I have seen improvement in my skills, thanks to everyone who's supported me, advised me and helped me to were I am today. It's been a bumpy ride with drama and mood swings but imo I'm ahead of where I thought I'd be and art is coming to me quicker than ever! I got dozens of sketches and wips I'm stocked for the year I reckon.

Anyway its been a long journey, I hope the year ahead will be full of improvement and fun times :)

Thanks guys, you're great :) I had a good day today! rained a bit but it was nice!

It doesn't feel like it, feel younger :)

Been a while since my last journal and upload. Hope everyone's doing well this summer.

Well what's been happening. I've been drawing what I can when I can, and i've got wips coming out my ears. It's good though, I feel myself improving and am happy with the varied characters i've got in stock. Though my Mass Effect art has died down a bit (Been drawing for nearly two years so I guess it was eventually going to happen) art in general has been booming. A lot more fantasy art and characters from other games. But i've said that before so I won't say it again.

One thing to note is that i'm no longer going to take art requests, not until i've worked through some of my own work load and that'll take a while. SO yeah, sorry about that.

In life itself it's been mixed. I'm happy that it's nearly my 22nd birthday this weekend, strange to think i'm that old :P we're going out for the day and it should be great fun. But that's been tarnished with some troubles with my heart. Some of you will know i've had a couple operations on it to fix a faulty valve and my latest was nearly four years ago, and while it's still working strong i've been getting increasing palpitations and irregular beatings. They don't hurt but they're distressing, we did see a doctor up at Bromptom in London (Fantastic hospital btw) and she said she saw a small murmur she wasn't worried so it can't be all that bad. But we are going to book a blood test at least to see what's up. They seem to be at their worst when i'm at rest, when out and about I don't get any more than I usually did, palpitations I mean.

Whatever's happening if anyone gets them too and has any advice on the matter i'd be very grateful.

But in general i'm feeling alright. Art's coming along well, health could be better but i'm not feeling bad about it and yeah! nearing my 22nd year on this earth. This year's flown by I remember christmas well.