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Maggot Girl

Oh. Oh god. Oh no, I forgot the prank, I'm an idiot, oh god, don't read this, go away, just stop.

Just stop.

I always see stacks of the stuff at stores, so there's clearly some sort of demand. Why? Why would you not buy the chicken flavor? Is there something wrong with these people? Why? WHY?

I don't care about anything anymore. When they find my bloated corpse floating facedown in the river, they're gonna come here looking for answers, and when they ask you're gonna tell 'em. You're gonna tell 'em beef ramen.

Fuck Everything,
Lord Rifter J. Dask Esquire

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4395198/

Look at this man. Look at him and see that he is doing a raffle. Is it not as I have said?

Oh, my dear sweet God
Why is there so much vomit
Quickly, find a mop

~ Haiku

I'll need five of them.

I hope it's going well for you too!

Yeah, that's it. That's the journal.

Had a dream last night. Was just out for a walk minding my own business when this blurry dude across the street started screaming at me. "HEY YO, YOU HAIRY PIECE OF SHIT. YOU DONKEY KONG LOOKIN' MOTHERFUCKER."

Then I woke up. Will have to remember that one.

Turns out microwaved sausage biscuits taste a shitload better if you wrap them in a paper towel before popping them in. No more soggy biscuits for me, no sir. Man, I bet this would work on all sorts of things...

someone please come cook for me

I don't care how I die, I want my tombstone to read as such:

HERE RESTS RIFTER DASK

BEATEN UNTIL DEAD WITH A GARBAGE BAG FULL OF HAM

Drawing is hard. Like, really, really hard. I can create all these vivid, lively pictures in my mind, but once I put pencil to paper it's all a complete blank and I have to drag recognizable forms out of the ether kicking and screaming. It's always been this way. I'm determined to develop some passable artistic skill - I know I'll never be the next Zaush, but I'd like to at least be able to sketch something up when the mood strikes me.

I feel like there's something that I'm missing - Some vital bit of artistic theory. I guess I'll just keep plugging away at it; maybe I'll have an epiphany at some point. Hey, who knows, I might even have something of my own to post a year or two from now.

Jump out of a box or turn a corner really quick or SOMETHING, come on. Shake it up a little. You do me and I'll do you.

I'll do you.

Not like that or nothin'.

Maybe.

Maybe if like, you got a really nice ass on you, I'm talkin' like Staypuft grade, I might hit that.

Maybe not though.

I got, I got an image to keep up, see, so I gotta be careful.

I got some Werther's Originals too if you want 'em.

What if that, huh?

With numerous holidays sales approaching, I thought I might pass down a few timely vidja game recommendations.

The Secret World just dropped their subscription fee, enticing me to take a look. This is a game that has a lot in common with Guild Wars 2, though it's not quite as polished on the combat front. The puzzles and story are the stars of the show here: This is a game that expects you to do a little google detective work. One recent puzzle had me looking up the name of a classical composer on Wikipedia in order to determine the password on some needed medical records. It's... Different, and I think I really like it.

Far Cry 3 is the bastard child of an illicit three-way between Skyrim, Just Cause 2 and Red Dead Redemption. It isn't one of those year-defining offerings that typically pop up around this time, but I would still pick it up if you can find it at a discount. There's no feeling quite like picking a heavily armed pirate encampment apart from the shadows with nothing but a bow and a few arrows.

Planetside 2 is a bigger, better version of Battlefield minus the cast iron anchor that is DICE. It's surprisingly polished even in this early state and immediately playable without paying a single cent. You'll have to put a lot of time in if you want to unlock new weapons without real money, but the default weapons range from competitive to downright amazing, so don't sweat it too much.

Having written many words, I give myself over to the night. May whatever gods you worship look upon you favorably this holiday season. Or science. Merry Science. You know who you are.

Someone make a shirt that says "IM STRAIGHT FOR WOLF TITS" in bold font and mail it to my house, tia

Seriously though, lotta chicks in my favorites these days. Either I'm undergoing some changes or FA isn't turning out enough manporn. Is it possible to go jailhouse straight...?

I'm so fucking horny I could gore a tourist. Also, Planetside 2 is an amazing game that somehow runs on my aging desktop. Go download it.

http://youtubedoubler.com/?video1=h.....aNm7QZfXI%23%21&start2=&authorName=%3Atoot%3A

If you call fans of anthro animals furries, what do you call fans of anthro plants?

VEGETABILLIES!

HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

*Wheeze*

If you have a single social bone in your body, you're always going to meet new people, make a few new friends. One thing you can't do is replace old friends. With Winter just around the corner, I find myself reflecting on a year that's seen me more alone than any year previous. Every relationship in my life at the moment is still fresh, still developing - I'm not really close with anyone. I don't have that person who knows all my deep, dark secrets, who finishes my sentences for me, who confides in me and laughs at all those things nobody else would get. I've learned to be more self-sufficient and perhaps gained a little more personal confidence as a result, but at this point I think it'll do me some good to just up and admit that I'm lonely.

The people in your life right now, the ones who are important to you - Do everything you can to hold on to those relationships. Sometimes people just grow apart naturally, sometimes disagreements or feelings force them apart - But those people, those relationships you've nurtured over the years and the feelings they carry with them? They can't be replaced, so think carefully before you decide to burn any bridges. It can be difficult to see the full scope of what you stand to lose.

I'll be alright, of course. I've no way of knowing who or what the future holds for me, so there's no point in letting myself get too down. No knight in shining armor needed here. Still, if one were to happen by...

Welp, it took a year plus, but I've finally managed to land a job. I'll be working at UPS, sorting packages and generally stopping stuff that explodes or otherwise catches alight from making it onto planes. Finished hazmat training today, and I'll be starting actual on the job training this Monday. Seems like a pretty big job, I just hope I'm equal to it.

Pay's not great, but come on. Package Handler. Think of the pickup lines.

Tyria now owns my soul. I am sorry.

Seriously though, maybe you'll see me again sometime next year.

Anyone else gonna be playing this? I'll most likely be maining a Charr Guardian. A Charrdian, if you will. This choice was in no way motivated by ROCK HARD CAT MAN ABS.

FURRIES PUT YO SHOES ON

Had another run at Day Z today. Things were going pretty well, I had food and drink enough to last me quite a while, an automatic rifle and most of my survival essentials. I was intent on heading into the woods as soon as I could find something to make fire with, where I presumed I'd be able to last indefinitely - Not so. As I was scavenging in a tiny village along the treeline, I heard a loud crack, hit the dirt and died. It was the first time another player had ever killed me under legitimate circumstances. I didn't like it. The suddenness and finality of permanently losing that character and everything he had to the cold, calculated decision of another human being kind of jarred me.

I've been killed hundreds, thousands of times in online games, but I've never felt like I was actually -killed-, if that makes sense. I think we've all thought about what it might be like to have another person attack us - What we might do, what we might say, how we would go about coming out on top. This guy didn't give me the chance to respond, he simply cut me down from some unseen vantage and that was that. It all felt just a little too real, and it's made me realize that I'll have to start doing the same thing if I want to continue playing for any length of time. Now that I've been on the losing side, I'm not really sure that this is something I'm prepared to do.

For now, I think I'll refrain from playing Day Z by my lonesome. It might be just a little too heavy to enjoy without company.