Yep, the new school year is starting in just over a week. That means I'm going to be refocusing my goals. My performance since I started at UMass has been mediocre, mainly due to an endless cascade of health issues. If I want to get into grad school, I need to get straight A's in the rest of my classes. That will be my priority #1. It will come before all else, social life included. I may need to completely disappear for weeks at a time.

Next we come to my second priority: completing my book. As many of my friends know, I've been working on a book for what may seem like an eternity. It hasn't been completed because my writing style is shit for large projects. I don't generally use the Outline > Rough Draft > Revisions > Final Draft format. Instead, I make all of my edits as I go through the project. This works fine for school papers and short stories, but is absolute crap for longer projects, since every change I make to the plot requires me to go back to the beginning and hotfix everything I'd written up to that point. I've tried multiple times to get this to work with writing a book, but it doesn't. I'm changing to the more conventional writing style, meaning that I'll hopefully be able to get this book done within a year. This is my second priority because I need a fallback. A bachelor's degree in Biology isn't worth much. It's too broad and generalized for most jobs outside of zoos and national parks. If I don't get into grad school, my "plan B" is going to be my writing. I'll post more on that as developments occur.

That is all for my priorities. Social and love life will have to take a back seat this year. I can't be successful in my dealings with others if I'm a stressed out mess constantly worrying about my ability to support myself. If I can make time for social things, I will, but it's not going to be the most important thing on my mind.

As some of you may know, I'm currently working on a novel. Well, technically I'm working on two. My problem is that I can't figure out which one to actually complete first. Without giving too much away, one is a traditional fantasy novel with magic and mythical creatures. The other is set in a futuristic time period with no magic to speak of (not even the not-magic "bionics" crap from Mass Effect) and instead focuses on technology. Both are meant for late teens to young adults. At the present, I'm so out of my mind with everything going on that I can't come to a decision as to which book I'll complete first. I just want anybody with a preference towards one or the other to weigh in and help set my wheels on the track.


P.S.  ossuarypariah I know your preference, so you don't need to say it lol.

It had to have happened at some time in the past few decades. In the beginning of the 20th century, science and innovation were seen as the great salvation of mankind. The advent of vaccination, antibiotics, flight, global communication, and countless other things have improved life and doubled the life expectancy in developed countries. Diseases like smallpox and polio were practically irradicated.

Now, there seems to be a huge anti-science movement. Proven concepts like evolution, statistical facts like climate change, and tested treatments like vaccination are suddenly being attacked, with devastating consequences. The lack of belief in evolution is threatening biological education in the United States. Denial of climate change is delaying measures that can slow the process before we hit a catastrophic tipping point. Fear of vaccines propagated by a disgraced doctor is allowing diseases like measles and mumps to make a comeback. How have we gotten here? When did science become the bad guy in every conspiracy theory? As someone who has made science the center of their career and life, this trend is possibly the most horrifying thing possible. It needs to be stopped.

I call on all scientists and everybody with knowledge of the scientific method to get involved and advocate. I've noticed a degree of apathy and aloofness in the scientific community that's only making things worse. A perfect example was Bill Nye's debate with Ken Ham last year. Many scientists thought it shouldn't happen, that Ham's ideas were so far beneath them that they weren't worth answering. That sort of idea is dangerous. By not arguing with fallacious viewpoints, you give the impression that there is no argument for them. The goal shouldn't be to change the minds of the maniacs arguing with you. That's practically impossible. The goal is to reassert the dominance of science, reason, and facts in the eyes of the audience so that fewer of them go on to become the maniacs you'd need to argue against. Please don't let the world backslide into a second dark age in our lifetime.

There's porn of it. Why? Just once internet, JUST FUCKING ONCE, you need to grow a pair, stand up to the man, and break rule 34. Some things are just too fucking depraved.

Well, I'm going on 3 weeks of major gastrointestinal issues with no end in sight.

The good news:
-Eating an average of 300 calories a day means I'll definitely lose weight
-Having a white blood cell count 3-7x higher than the normal maximum means I definitely don't have AIDS

The bad news:
-My birthday was ruined by this bullshit, and I likely won't be able to spend Easter with my family
-Nobody knows what the fuck is wrong with me
-The insanely high white blood cell count may be leukemia



Overall, not in a happy place right now

As always, a combination of laziness and apathy will keep me here unless overwhelming circumstances force me to move.

What the hell is a master/pet relationship? I ask because I've had several people approach me recently and ask me to be their pet. There is an FYI section on my page that clearly states that I'm not interested in that, and that I almost never RP, so even if I said yes, it would be meaningless, but let's just forget that. Every time someone asks me, I say no. They ask why. I bring up my usual litany of objections, which they somehow always manage to have a workaround for. I say that I don't like taking orders or being subservient/submissive. They say I don't have to be to be their pet. I say I won't be calling anybody "master," again they say it's not necessary. I say that I won't fetch things, eat treats from their hands, or be sitting by the door with my tail wagging, they say I don't need to. I then ask them what would make me a pet. They say someone to be there for them to make them feel better. SO WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PET AND A FRIEND? Do furries just have some compulsive need to enter into unnecessarily complicated relationships that they make shit up as they go along, or were these people so desperate to have me be their "pet" that they twisted and warped the definition just to get me to say yes? Someone please explain.

I'm looking for a tutor. I'm willing to pay. Specifics can be worked out 1 on 1. Note me for more details

I've had several people ask me if I'll be going. The answer, sadly, is no. My classes this semester are WAY too intense for me to be able to take a whole weekend off. Hopefully I'll be able to go to Furpocalypse in the fall and will see some of my fellow New England furs there.

I'm having some major connection issues with my new computer. The only thing that I can come up with is that it's Windows 8.1 causing it. I will be getting 16-20mb/sec most of the time, but then the connection will randomly drop to 0.02mb/sec for 30-60 seconds before speeding back up again. It's not my wireless card, as it happened when I used a USB wireless card. It's not my router or ISP, because other devices on the same wifi at the same time have absolutely no issues. I've updated all the drivers too. I'm just completely at a loss. It's driving me nuts. For the first time in my life, I have a computer that can run games on good settings, but I still can't play the fucking things because of this bullshit. If anyone knows what might be causing my grief, please tell me.

After long, hard consideration, I've decided not to go to medical school. I don't have the disposition or patience to be a doctor. Instead, I'm going to attempt to get into a PhD program for Molecular and Cellular Biology or Microbiology and do biomedical research. After I finish, hopefully I'll be able to stay at UMass and do my research and possibly teach some classes. I think I'm better suited to being a professor and research scientist than I am to being a doctor. In the short term, my primary education will take about the same amount of time...4-5 years after I get my bachelors degree. Overall though, I won't need to spend the extra 5+ years doing a fellowship to get a specialization, so I'll actually be fully immersed in my career quite a bit sooner than I would be as a doctor. After I get a few years of research under my belt, I may try to go to medical school and get an MD so I can perform clinical trials on whatever new drugs or treatments I'm developing, but that will be secondary to doing research. I think that this will probably be what makes me happiest in the long run, and I'll keep everybody posted. My primary goal right now is to brownnose the fuck out of any professor who might give me an undergrad research position.

About 6 hours early for my timezone, but I'm working 7pm-7am. Hooray fun.

I have a full schedule. Some classes are fun, some are going to haunt me. Either way, I plan on being busier than ever before. My classes are Evolution: Diversity of Life Through Time and Herpetology, both taught by the same old wizard who teaches Marine Vertebrates this semester, Physics 1, which I can put off no longer, Writing in Biology, and Organic Chemistry again. Hopefully some horrible disease won't come along to smite me this time and I'll actually get through it.

In addition to all those classes and their requisite homework and projects, I'm also going to be starting research at the same time. That's yet more busy to add to the pile. For all those who like to talk to me, you might want to spend Feb-April pretending I don't exist, because for social purposes, I kind of won't.

I sense Zaush 2.0 on the horizon. I've read the posts and warnings quite thoroughly. My honest judgement of the situation is that I don't have a spare fuck to give. There is no information I have on FA worth stealing, there is no content I have here that I don't have backed up elsewhere, and I see no reason to abandon ship now. If shit happens, shit happens, and I'll move if the site goes under. If not, I'll stay and weather this next drama storm until everybody's ADD kicks in and they forget what they were mad about.

Not a common disease, but curing something isn't exactly common for an undergrad. As far as I can tell, everything checks out with the biochemistry, and my professors seem to think it'll work, so I guess I have a ready-made PhD thesis for when I go into grad school.

Just attended a panel on Ebola with  cty_lover Pretty much went over a lot of things I knew and some things I didn't. What's really freaky is all the conspiracy theories, misinformation, and hysteria that's out there.

Myth: Ebola was engineered by humans for use as a bioweapon
Fact: Ebola and similar viruses have been traced back thousands of years.

Myth: Ebola spreads like the flu
Fact: Ebola is only transmitted by direct fluid contact. You can't catch it from a cough. You can't catch it from a sneeze. You can catch it through direct contact with fresh sweat late in the infection cycle, but sitting where someone sat or touching what they touched won't give it to you. By the time it's present in significant amounts in sweat, the person would be too sick to walk.

Myth: Ebola will spread like wildfire, so we should ban travel to and from affected regions.
Fact: Ebola spreads so readily in Africa because the sick are tended by friends and relatives without personal protective equipment. Hospitals are rarely utilized there, and there are few labs capable of running blood tests to determine whether Ebola is the disease. In developed nations, we have the tools necessary to prevent widespread infection with a disease like Ebola quite readily.

Myth: Quarantining people coming back from these countries is good.
Fact: This strain of Ebola has an 11-12 day incubation period before symptoms show, and then rapidly gets worse for another week. 21 days is closer to the timeframe between infection and death than it is to determine whether a person is infected. You can detect the Ebola virus in the blood after only a few days. Imposing quarantine procedures will just deter people from providing humanitarian aid where it is desperately needed.

Myth: Ebola will completely depopulate countries/Africa/the earth.
Fact: We have several vaccines in the late stages of clinical testing that should be made available as early as next spring.

Hope this helped calm your tits. If anyone has any other questions or doubts about the topic, feel free to ask me. I'll probably know the answer, but if I don't, I have several extremely qualified infectious disease experts who I see several times a week that I can find out from.

Please keep all responses to this journal constructive or they will be hidden.

Yeah, just got a call from the doctor to hit me with this glorious news. Apparently my parathyroid hormone is extremely high, which is usually the result of a tumor on the parathyroid gland. Good news is that they're rarely malignant. Bad news is that the location of the parathyroid gland would have them dissecting half my neck to get at it. I'm half inclined to start believing in god so I have someone to hate for all the bullshit that keeps happening to me.

Things are slowly getting better. I'm still not cleared to return to work, but I'm sleeping again. Hopefully I'll be able to get back to work soon. I'm sleeping like 16 hours a day, which I'm not sure is good or bad. I'm going with good, because I wasn't sleeping at all a couple weeks ago. I have an appointment with my neurologist on Wednesday and school starts on Tuesday. I'm actually feeling a bit optimistic though. Hopefully this will all be behind me soon and I can get back to my life. Thanks to everyone who showed concern!

I'm just tired. Tired of almost constant health issues, tired of endless financial issues, and tired of nothing ever going right. So that's it. I give up. I'm going to drop out of school which I'm not currently capable of attending, quit my job that I'm not currently capable of performing, and just lay here. Eventually some disease or other will kill me. Or I'll starve to death. Don't particularly care which at the moment. Congratulations life, you've beaten me.

Yep, I'm doing it. I swore I never would, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

I was just seen in the ER on Wednesday with severe dizziness and loss of balance. They gave me meds and sent me home. Saw an Ear, Nose, Throat specialist on Thursday to see if I could get a diagnosis. All I got was that it was definitely not my ear. In fact, he had no clue what the problem was. He gave me stronger meds and ordered an MRI. Then today falls and I'm back in the ER, getting my MRI and trying again to find out the problem. We're still not sure, but they're thinking it's a severe infection in my skull bone and possible meningitis. Dizziness is so bad that I can barely walk with a cane and am on a cocktail of various meds. Needless to say, I can't work in this state. Since I'm per diem, I get no paid sick days, no short or long term disability, and no shits given. Any help anyone can give would be deeply appreciated. Paypal email is coreyb06[at]comcast.net

What is this new thing? Why are people asking this all of a sudden? In my experience, there are 3 phrases that, when they appear, are guaranteed to at best make things uncomfortable between people, and at worst kill friendships. They are:

"Just sayin'"
"Not to be rude, but..."
"I had just assumed..."

Assumptions are bad, which is why that delightful little saying about making an ass out of you and me exists. Don't ask people to tell you things that they assume about you. Anyone who answers the question will either be dancing on eggshells trying not to offend you or playing a game of Russian Roulette by being brutally honest. Either way, I see no way any good can come of it.

He passed away peacefully last Saturday after a 7+ year fight with a degenerative neurological disease.

Something I forgot to mention in the last journal was that I was on vacation. I just got home late last night. I did glance over the ideas and didn't see anything that I'd have a problem writing. I'll look things over in more detail today and pick one to start on.

Removed the last journal and reuploaded with the magic word in the title.

I kinda want to write a story or two again. It's been a while, and I have literally a handful of fans who are vaguely ambiguous about more stories. Problem is that I'm not feeling particularly creative. That leaves me two options...write fanfiction, or do some requests. I suppose I could also fulfill some requests for fanfiction as well. Since I'm feeling about as creative as plain white bread right now, I leave it to all my fans to post their requests. It's up to the three of you, but first, some rules.


First and most importantly, what I'll need from you: Character name(s), ref sheet or detailed description, or both...like if you have an adult request but only clean art, I'll need a description of naughty bits. I'll also need a basic outline of what you want. Simple vanilla sex, clean action, gory action, kinktastic fuck parties, etc. If there are to be multiple characters in this story, they all need to be owned by the requester or owned by some large third party (e.g. Pokemon, Digimon, Toothless). If there's another person's fursona to be depicted, I'll need their consent either as a comment or as a note.

Second, I know I'm mildly popular at best, but I still think I'll get a few more requests than I'll be able to handle. As such, I'll be looking them over, and trying to put together a story in my head for each. The ones that I feel I'll be able to do a good job at, I will write up. Those that either don't stimulate my artistic flare, or that I feel I'd do a poor job on, I won't write. I may come back to them later if inspiration hits though, so don't feel bad if your idea doesn't make it out immediately.

Third, you can make your requests here or in a note, but I will need you to note me your email address. I will send you the completed story prior to posting to make sure it has been done to your satisfaction. As these are free requests, I won't go back for a dozen edits, but I will make some touch-ups and changes if there is an issue with the first draft.

Fourth, a brief list of what I WILL NOT write...
-Scat
-Hard vore
-Baby/child age characters. (I'm okay with teens, but anything under FA's age limit will be posted on SoFurry and Inkbunny only)
-Death/snuff as a part of sex. (I like fucking, and I like killing, but not together)
-Extreme torture (mild is okay. If you're unsure, ask and I'll tell you where your idea falls)

Finally, I will make some suggestions. These will be topics that may make your request more or less likely to succeed.

Less Likely

~Lesbian porn. I am gay irl. Only have experience with dick. Therefore, exactly what lesbians do with each other bamboozles me, as it's not anything I ever had any interest in looking into.

~MLP. I'm not a brony, don't watch the show, and have no intention of doing so. You can show me refs and give me a plot, but I know nothing of the characters, so if I do choose to write your story, don't expect the characters to sync with the show.

~Anything raunchy. Farts, watersports, heavy musk/stink fetishes, cock cheese, etc. I'm far less inclined to write a story that makes me feel somewhat ill. Scat is the only absolute no-no, but all of the above reduce your chances.

~Abusive behavior. I can handle some master/pet dynamic, or mild n/c, but hardcore rape or treating someone else like dirt, or property is just beyond my scope. I would never treat someone that way, nor allow myself to be treated that way, so the mindset escapes me, making writing a story about it hard.

More Likely

~ Gay themes. I'm gay, and I'm good at it. Definitely makes me more likely to write well if I can say "hey, I've done that"

~ Action themes. I like writing good action scenes, so if you want a clean story with lots of fighting and beating up, I'm all for it.

~Dragons. 'Nuff said.

~Transformation. One of my favorite themes, I like it clean or dirty, take your pick.

I want to write, I really do...but I just can't seem to get my fat, lazy, uncooperative body to do as I tell it. I keep telling myself that I should write, but instead, I wind up doing nothing but browsing random websites, or logging into WoW and flying circles around Stormwind for 3 straight hours. I really need to get it in gear.