So after a few weeks of back and forth with the PC repair guy trying to nail down and fix the issues, the PC is back and in working order. Or at least enough to run the entirety of Resident Evil: Requiem without exploding (good game I should add).

So with that done, I feel like I need to address something that popped up here and there in my comments and notes. When I write stories, I'm not being paid for it. There's no Patreon link of mine, no ko-fi, none of that. I do this for free, usually when I'm happy, and frankly, there's not a lot to be happy about these days. I've tried in the past to promise deadlines and enforce them, and either I fail to honor the deadline, or in trying to maintain it, I wind up cutting too many corners plot wise and it comes out half baked (Green Witch being my most glaring one). So, with that all said, please don't come in here expecting a coherent upload schedule. You won't find one here.
DO NOT however take from this journal that I'm done writing, it's not what I mean. Stuff is being worked on, it's just slow going, and it's hard to get a drive most days. Things will get done, I just can't promise a when.

Thank you for hanging around this long.

So of course it’d be in the middle of a record breaking arctic storm that my PC decided it’s had enough and starts to break down.

Short version, it freezes dead after about five minutes, under load or without. Current theories are either the power supply is failing, or the CPU is. Gonna see if anyone local can fix it but I’m not holding my breath. Now, before anyone panics, all my important documents have been moved off to Google Docs so even if I do cave and get a new desktop I shouldn’t lose any progress.

So! How are y’all faring against your own personal real world Frostpunk?

Update: PC was sent off to the local repair shop today. They’re leaning on the cause being the CPU breaking down as well. There’s no ETA on when it’ll be up and running at this time.
Update 2: Turns out I was wrong on both guesses. It was the GPU going out. Replacement part should be in Tuesday.

So it seems that fall and winter for me, and quite frankly for everyone else, is when every disease decides its time to do some spreading. In November, I had what was assumed to be a cold that nearly had me stranded in Colorado due to the fear the pressure change on the flight might destroy my ears. And then come December, just in time for New Year's, came down with some that the doctor's couldn't make up their minds if it was Covid or the Flu. Anyway, that seems to be done, for now at least. I will admit during my fever induced deliriums I had debated throwing my hands up at these writing projects and leaving them abandoned much the way of the Lion King stuff so I wouldn't be constantly reminded of their unfinished state. But honestly, I feel like giving up wouldn't do much good either in the long run. Guess we'll find out by the end. Anyway, new Commando is up which puts me in a better mood having that one step closer to done. Anyway, just throwing all that out there. Will anyone read it? Dunno, but I figured people ought to know all the same what was happening behind the scenes. Even if it came out as a random string of thought.

So as of late I’ve been debating some things. A while back I started dipping into some Lion King themed stuff. It was fun, at first, just kind of slapping preg stuff on some characters with an artist that could mimic the style perfectly. But as time’s gone on, part of me felt I was maybe overdoing it, getting too cringey with it. And now between that feeling and every other person in the comments trying to insist its all incest, I’ve decided I have done and had enough.

So, effective immediately, all images pertaining to the subject will be moved to scraps and all future images and story snippets that were in the works will be suspended indefinitely.

Now before you slam on your keyboard going “but I didn’t say anything!” that’s just the problem, you didn’t. You didn’t police the people that were saying things, you didn’t counter the incest remarks. You just asked “will we see duh burf”. And now, this is the consequence. If you complain, they’ll be deleted completely. If you actually read any of this, good on ya. Want to comment to suggest my assumptions are wrong? Go for it. But it won’t change anything. I'm just not happy with the content anymore, and the feedback it got didn’t help.

So 24 hours has come and gone (yep, that was the time limit)

Turns out, quite a few of you do read! While I didn’t respond to all the comments, and honestly I was probably answering them waaay too late in the night, I did look through all of them. This discussion has definitely given me the insight I needed and the main takeaway was I need to temper my expectations. While people do indeed skim through my works, they’re not obligated to respond to it in turn. The story is the seasoning, but the art is always gonna be the main course. And no, I’m not going to stop writing. I’ll probably be slow as hell still, but I’m gonna keep chugging along.

Thank you all for your feedback, it is and always will be, appreciated.

So this journal has been a long time coming.

So there’s been something popping up lately. I wanted to attribute the first couple of times it happened as coincidence, but it’s become enough of a recurring thing that it’s bugging me and I feel the need to address it

Lately I’ve been getting questions. Not intrigue on the plot, or speculation where things were headed, but ones I thought had seemingly obvious answers to them in the story. Questions that I thought would have been answered by simply reading. So for the past couple of months I’ve pondered, why was this happening? Was I not detailing stories well enough? Was I speeding through too much of the smaller scenes to reach bigger plot points that important secondary things were being missed?

But the more I pondered the matter, a question kept coming up in turn that I couldn’t shake. One that got stuck in the back of my mind.

“Is anyone actually reading this stuff?”

I wanted to think that by adding a story snippet to the commissions I was ordering that I was somehow “enhancing” the content, something just the artist posting the piece by itself wouldn’t do. But looking at the engagement, or lack of, it brings, does it even matter? Does my writing add anything of note, or is it just fluff text for porn? Am I wasting my time trying to hash out snippets for these things if they’re just going to be ignored? Am I worrying too much about not getting a chapter finished when the only response I’ll get is “will we see the birth?” (Yes, I’m still mad about that one) Am I worrying for nothing and this is all in my head?

So, this is a test

I want you to tell, point blank, if those fears mentioned above are real or not. Will I be mad if you’re honest with me and say you’re just here for the images? No, I just want you to be honest with me. And before you get comfy, no, one person responding isn’t going to be enough to satiate this. There’s supposedly over a thousand of you getting notifications from me, it shouldn't be hard to get five or so replies, in theory anyway. You have an unspecified time limit on this, assume it’s less than you think. Let's see if you read or not.

Not answering is in itself an answer

So normally I reserve updates like this for watcher milestones, buuuut we did hit 1.1k a while back, so this sorta counts.

I figured an update was needed regarding the “testicular terror” mentioned in the last journal. So when we left off, the pain was still a thing, and a follow-up wasn’t in sight till October (this was in May). What I didn’t mention was I still had contact with the doctor via the university’s site. I mentioned my situation to them, and what was the response?

More antibiotics!

Infection still giving you trouble? Didn’t hit it with enough meds. I know I make it sound a bit condescending, but at the time I was a bit pessimistic and assumed it wasn’t going to work.

And then it worked.

Pain seems to have faded, and I haven't had it for a few months now. It comes back faintly when I’m notably stressed, but those are few and far between. At this point I’m just happy to be able to function normally with the fear of a pain attack sneaking up on me.

Now, pain update complete. Onto other topics. Commando finally got a new chapter out (only took me a year) and I’ll be trying to see if I can keep the momentum for Chapter 8. Meanwhile, Pride of Two Tribes is more or less “complete”, but I keep wondering if it needs some sort of epilogue to it. I know it more or less ends on the implication is going to form, but I keep wondering if it needs more. Let me know what you guys think. Oh and Happy New Year, that's going on right now too.

Not a number I ever thought I’d see. Seems like yesterday I was just tossing out stuff on FA just to see what’d stick, and now here we are. Before I go any further with this journal, thank you. I would not have gotten this far without your comments and support.

Now I've been debating for a while now on whether to explain my sporadic lack of activity over the past two years. Initially I thought maybe I should just put on a strong face and pretend it wasn’t that bad, but now I think I owe you all an explanation on what’s really been going on behind the scenes. Even now I wonder how much of this is gonna be in “too much information” territory, but hopefully this’ll be enough to paint the picture without making people reel from their screens.

So back in mid 2020, I had to have some surgery done in order to counteract some potentially worse issues from going down (in a word, torsion). It was supposed to just be a one and done procedure. Though as with all things pertaining to Murphy’s Law, nothing quite went according to plan.

All during recovery and after, I was wracked with constant pain. At first I thought it was just par for the course, but it didn’t seem to be letting up well after things had healed up. Naturally I started reaching for the Tylenol but unfortunately I’d come to find out that can lead to its own share of problems as by January of 2021 I now had pain “down low” and up top in the form of piercing rebound headaches. Naturally, such a physical state didn’t leave me in a very productive mood for writing, or much else for that matter. By September the state of things hadn’t improved and in fact was deteriorating to the point I finally went and sought help (a saga in of itself)

I was able to get the headaches and the funk in check, but unfortunately the mystery pain remained. After a constant back and forth with the local urologist basically going “we didn’t find anything wrong with you, see you in two months” all while suffering with a sensation that felt like someone was trying to pull one of my “two veg” through my pelvis, they finally just went “well we don’t know what's wrong with you, let's get you one painkillers.” Not quite what I was looking for, I wanted answers, not more drugs. So I went and sought out the best professionals in the state. Finally in May (yes, this May) I was able to net an appointment with them and get some tests done. Turns out it was caused by inflammation brought on by an infection (the other possible theory was “failed surgery” which I don’t dare ponder too hard) that had stuck around for almost two years. Turns out if it’s not directly connected to your urinary tract, it doesn’t pop up on those sorts of tests. So with the culprit narrowed down, I was handed some antibiotics and sent on my way.

So after all that you’d assume this is all finally done and sorted, right?

No.

While the antibiotics cut the pain down, it’s opened a whole new can of worms. Instead of a few days of absolute agony and a few days without, it’s now every day, just much lessened. And just to add salt to the wound, the professionals are booked to the point I won’t be able to see them again in person until October. There are some “scorched earth” options they put on the table but I’d rather not contemplate them right now. So yeah, a saga of pain that still hasn’t quite wrapped itself up. When will it end? I’m not sure, but I figured you at least deserved to know what’s been going on.

Addendum: Ok, after a brief ponder, I figured maybe I shouldn't end the journal on that bleak of a note, especially after just uploading the lion tribe thing. Fallout Commando is still being poked at, I just need to make up my mind exactly how I want some interactions to pan out. Also keep an eye out for some new commissions I ordered up in the near future

Nine hundred viewers, almost a thousand. It still boggles my mind that even a handful of people are drawn to my material. First and foremost, thank you all for sticking around despite my long strings of inactivity. Maybe one day I’ll go into detail about what all’s gone down; for now, just know all is well on this end.

Now regarding those retcons...
Now I know when people see that word, they immediately think everything about a character is about to go out the window. Don’t panic, it’s not that bad in this instance. Mostly, I’m wanting to change some specific details on two characters

First up’s the demon One-Horn. I’ll admit I’m not quite happy with the direction her story started in or was headed in. Given how it was basically a job to her, there wasn’t any chemistry between the two characters and she’d be reduced to a prisoner trapped on the mortal plane by her own pregnancy. Not exactly alot of lovey-dovey opportunities to be had there so I figured I’d revise her to be a bit more “enthusiastic” for her temp job with a bit more context added to it.

Second up is Val
For the longest time she’s been listed as one of Sheuth’s “Original Six” kids
Problem is, she’s supposed to have been the one to have helped build the city, something the Jackal Queen was residing by the time she was pregnant with those pups. Nevermind the fact that popping out a cerberus among 5 otherwise normal jackal babies would be a bit hectic. So, what I’m thinking is maybe Sheuth simply hired Val onboard and then she left once the project was complete. That way she’s still tied up in the story, but otherwise doing her own thing. Though if people still want the three headed wonder to still be Sheuth’s flesh and blood, I could have her be some early experiment of Sheuth’s.

With retcons out of the way, we move on to Fallout Commando. Grace’s escapades sit at the largest story I’ve written to date and I’m hellbent on finishing it, even if sometimes I don’t feel like I’ve got the prowess for it, or sometimes it feels like I’m rolling my head on the keyboard. More or less, the big action pieces are complete, the remaining major plot points are set, and it’s just down to deciding how to handle her character interactions. That said, there’s a few commissions I received from  beuwens-folder and one of them is a bit of a teaser of sorts for the next big project I want to undertake. Problem is, I feel like if I start working on it now, it’ll divert attention away from Commando, delaying it even more.

So I ask you, my 900, what is your opinion on all this? Are you ok with these retcons? Should I hunker down on Grace’s final-ish stretch, or should I show off what I have planned next? Let me know what you think, and have a very pleasant Thanksgiving.

700 watchers, how in the world did that happen? One minute it’s 300, next thing I know it’s doubled.

First and foremost, thank you again. It’s always reassuring to know there’s an audience of people that enjoy the same things you do.

Second, what have I been up to? Well, since June I’ve been recovering from an operation. Nothing critical or life threatening, it’s just taking its to heal up all the way. In that time I’ve been trying to tackle the backlog of commission I’ve had, with some partial success (Tashi, Dobertwins). Also should also Fallout Commando hasn’t been forgotten, it’s just taking some time to weave some events properly.

Though that leads into another, bigger question; are you guys more interested in the art or the stories I put out? Now I don’t mean the little context blurbs like Sarabi and Perdita, I mean proper paragraphed stories like Tashi’s ordeal. I don’t mind writing, to be clear, but it might be more expedient to just post the art if it’s a one-off. Either way, weigh in in the comments, I’d love to see people’s input on the matter.

And in a similar vein, do people want me to go back and replace those blurbs with proper stories?

First off, thank you, I never imagined the stuff I'd be ordering up and writing would draw in anything close to that number. Second, I feel I need to update you all on the goings-on in the real world. So after much procrastination, I managed to net myself a job for the long term. Nothing as strenuous or hectic as my last fortunately, though it does leave my hands tied save for Fridays. That all being said, story stuff is being slowly being put together and commissions will still be coming in. If you have any specific questions, do let me know. Thank you again, and stay tuned!

First and foremost, when the heck did this happen? One minute I crawl out of my almost decade long hiatus, start posting some stuff here and there, and suddenly here we are. Second, thank you. I never imagined my written material or commissions would garner this kind of attention. Hopefully I can keep the ball rolling in this coming year. While we're on the subject, is there anything specific you want to see prioritized this year? I know I've got a few stories and snippets sitting in hiatus, and if there's a call for one above the others to get some love, I can try and focus that one down. Thank you again, all of you. You keep this thing going.

After crawling out of my month long hibernation, I looked over my submission's page to find that Ch1 of AW seems to be stuck in some kind of side-scroll mess. I've tried to save the document into a different file type it doesn't seem to be working, an ideas?

Well, after finally getting a schedule that doesn't have me on the move at all hours I've finally been able to get chapter four done, now I just have to get my ideas straight for chapter 5 >.<

Anyway, read way and let me know what you think, if somethings wrong please let me know so I can fix it.

College life is not user friendly, I'm starting to learn that the hard way. I get hit with various assignments left and right, most essays and that sort of thing and it starts to take it's toll quick. Chapter 4 is getting formed up at a slow pace and I can't promise a release date at this point.

The Final Draft for Chapter 3 is almost done, sorry it's been slow, I'm getting used to college life and it's not giving me alot of free time and the little I have I spend doing papers for my classes. Anyway, I started this story and I'm not stopping till it's finished, even if it takes 10 years. Again, thank you for your patience

Once agian I return from a few months of inactivity. The pst couple of weeks have been a little to fast paced for me to slow down and get some typing done and even then I've dealing with what many have identifyed as "Writer's Block". Anthro War isn't going to die this early mind you, I just need some time to finish the rough draft for the next chapter and revise it and being the biggest chapter so far isn't helping. Just hang in there and hopefully I have something worth the wait. Thank you for your time and patience

Sorry for the lack of activity recently, a bad case of food poisoning put me out of comisson for two weeks and I'm just now getting over it. I just finished the rough draft for chapter 2 and I'm currently forming the final draft, bear with me and it should be on the net within a week and a half. Thank you for your patience.

Sorry for the constant removal and reposting of stuff on here, I'm just trying to get my ideas straight on my story ideas and then I'll repost them (assuming anyone's actully looking)