So...I've been debating this for a long time...and well...I'm wanting to update my fursona's lore. The original lore that I had, which was more Post-humanism, isn't...really what I like anymore.

That being said, I also don't want to abandon previous "forms" and try to reconciliate my previous appearances and my current appearance. While it's an evolution, I still would like to have all versions, past and alternate, be...well me.

In order for the reconciliation to happen, I thought about it, and I am intending on going deeper on the lore, but this answers all previous lore.

Salem, being a Pacific Northwest Wolpertingertaur, while sharing features of the Bavarian Wolpertingertaur (where the lore of wolpertingers originate), does have an innate ability to "shapeshift," or more accurately, has a natural filter that the specific Pacific Wolpertingertaur could make their outward appearance seem different, while also having onlookers give enough space on hir hindquarters to miss it.

It's still a work in progress, but this should help tie everything together.

So...early this morning, I was going to take some over-the-counter cough medication. I grabbed a bottle, thinking it was the OTC medication, but instead, it was the Codeine cough syrup kind (Guaifenesin 100mg/Codeine 10mg per 5ml), and I took 20ml, a double dose. As soon as I realized my mistake, I contacted 911, who also conferenced in Poison Control. I was given three options.

1.) Stay at home and have my roommate observe me for 4 hours
2.) Take an Uber/Lyft with my roommate (who does not have a vehicle that she can drive), and have her observe me to the ER, and have the ER observe me.
3.) Take an Ambulance and have the ER observe me.

I went for the least inconvenient and cheaper option, number 2. Poison Control contacted the hospital ahead of me, and I got checked into the ER. I was whisked to the back area for observation and they made sure I was ok. Two and a half hours later after I contacted 911, I was discharged.

How did I mix up the OTC bottle and the Prescription opioid bottle of cough syrup?
I was tired, the bottles look similar enough, even with the prescription label on one. Both had white labeling. The only difference was the OTC bottle (Which was Dextromethorphan Guaifenesin, often called the "DM" variant of OTC Cough medication) is a bit taller and bigger than the Opioid bottle. But when you're tired, you do not always notice this. The primary color of both labels is white, which if one was a different color, it may have helped with identifying which one is which.

What is my plan to avoid this in the future?
I have a 2-fold plan. First is relocating that prescription bottle to a different part of my medicine cabinet, to an area that I do not frequently go to, so I don't grab it again.

Second, I'm planning on having a box of Narcan (Naloxone) available in case of a household emergency like this again. My roommate is also about to have surgery, and she will be on opioid painkillers, and I'd feel better with the box of Narcan with me.

Don't buy. All the third party reviews share a similar complaint across all the GPUs. The Framegen is bad...and the performance is poor in raw power. And it's been mainly "Paper launches" with also either fires (again) or missing PROMISED performance (missing ROPs).

I'm back from NFC. I had a blast, with it being my first Non-US convention (all the other conventions were US-based).

I enjoyed trying some of the local restaurants and got some chocolate from there.

I hope to return next year!

I'm at NordicFuzzCon this year, with Chakat Firestorm, Vix, and Nemo!

Come poke me on Telegram!

Hey all. I've gotten new art recently and other art I haven't put up yet. I have some of my reasons, but other reasons, it's basically, I haven't felt like posting it up. SOme I don't want to post up, because it's private between me and the other person. But that's only one piece. The other pieces are because I'm lazy.

I will eventually post MOST of my art, both old and new, on here soon over the course of this year. I will credit the artist for every piece I post, because that's how you're SUPPOSED to do it. If I don't know the artist off the top of my head, I will not post the artwork, as some I've had for decades, and I don't remember. Some I will not post, because I've had a falling out with the artist.

Con badges, unless they're posted digitally online somewhere, will NOT be posted, as while I do have a scanner, not all of the artwork survived over the years. And these will be pieces I commissioned, not conbadge memberships from x convention.

Borrowing this from  Max_Lightfoot

Where are you staying?
Hyatt Place O'Hare Airport. Don't need to worry about Breakfast ^^

What day are you getting there?
Arriving Thursday afternoon/Evening

How long are you going?
Gonna be there until Monday

How are you traveling?
Flying

Who will you be rooming with?
I'll be rooming with my RL mates, Firestorm and Kassity.

How is the best way to find you?
Reach me via Telegram.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Yes, quite a few. And probably one or two unofficial ones.

Will you be suiting?
Maybe. Kas offered me to suit using one of her suits.

Can I talk to you?
Yes, go for it.

Can I visit your room?
This is very conditional...only people I know can.

Can I buy you drinks?
Non-alcoholic drinks, maybe. Depends on the context.

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hugs are always welcome.

Are you nice?
I try. But don't come on strong. And please, if you do want to see me, be as close to fragrance free as possible (i.e. no body spray, no perfume or cologne).

Will you be going to parties?
Maybe. Depends on how I feel

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Shout out "Salem!"

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Around with friends.

What/where will you be eating?
Whatever food I'm able to have

Can I take your picture?
Ask first!

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Just enjoy myself!

So, I know I haven't officially announced this, but I have a bluesky account. Have had one for a long time.

https://bsky.app/profile/salemadams.bsky.social

Hey all, it's my birthday today!

might stream, might not...dunno yet.

As I'm typing this before I start on my stream tonight, I came to a recent realization. VR Chat, in VR mode, is helping me with being less anxious. I'm actually feeling more...myself, my old, prepandemic self, hell, even my creative self. I'm starting to feel like recreating some stuff from my Koveli world, even updating it.

Right now, the only major change is Salem's appearance in Koveli, as this used to be a Second Life Military, shi was anthro. Starting with this new update, shi's a taur. I'm not sure if it'll be a reboot or a continuation from the SLMC group. If it's the latter, I'll come up with a story that'll explain why Salem's now a taur, instead of an anthro.

Going back to the VRC thing, yes, I'm on there, and I'm planning on going to the next Furality this June. I'm also finding that being in VR is helping me with my anxiety in groups, and is helping with my depression and lonliness, because it's so immersive, and the people who I hang out with have been very supportive.

I played a bit of Octopath Traveler 2, and I must say, I do love the changes, or rather, the additions they made to the game.

First of all, latent powers. If you play any Final Fantasy game, it's like limit breaks, but better, as they enhance your actions, instead of doing it in place of your actions. And there is a meter that you see next to the name of the traveler.

Second, when you power up your attack to max, it goes cinematic and shows the attack happening in a different perspective.

And there's more features than what I'm posting here, but I wanted to say, after completing Octopath Traveler on my streams, I will be streaming Octopath Traveler 2. Like the Final Fantasy series, this isn't a story sequel, but a mechanics and lore sequel. Non-story elements of the previous game are there (Jobs, combat system, currency (leaf)) but there are also enhancements, changes, and a brand new story. It also changes the tech level to be around the time of the industrial revolution, instead of being medieval.

However, for those that are wondering "why didn't I stream me playing it?" Here's why. I wanted to try it out myself, and the demo was available. But it was a three-hour demo, and while that's perfect for my streams, I didn't want a sudden interruption. I also wanted to make sure the music elements are there, and it does borrow some of the musical themes, while creating its own.

I will be streaming the full version.

Whelp, it's almost 10:30 p.m. my time, which means soon, I'll be 36. Around 9 a.m. my time (US Pacific), I will be streaming Octopath Traveler and streaming on Twitch, celebrating my birthday! Please join me there!

https://www.twitch.tv/salemadams

Here's my streaming plans for 2023, in no particular order.

Final Fantasy VII remake will wrap up soon. We just have Chapter 2 of INTERmission, and it's done. I'm not gonna keep streaming getting 100% on that.
Final Fantasy XIV will be streamed whenever there's new content. Inbetween patches, I will be streaming Octopath Traveler.
Star Citizen will be streamed guaranteed once 3.18 is out or if there's good content to stream. Open PTU will also be streamed, but not when it's in Wave 1 PTU. As far as generally on the weekdays, I can't guarantee that I will be streaming Star Citizen before going to Open PTU, and would instead stream Final Fantasy or Octopath Traveler until Open PTU.

Beyond that, Wednesdays may end up starting later than normal.

I will post plans for my streams as they become apparent.

Hey all

The reason why I'm playing the Final Fantasy VII Remake streams on the weekdays is the following:

1.) I want to finish up Final Fantasy VII sooner
2.) I want to play Octopath Traveler in Feb.
3.) I want to wait until 3.18 is in open PTU. Currently it's in Wave 1 PTU, and while I do have access to it, along with Ken, the other two don't.

Seriously, why?

I've been on and off attacked by other people, some I don't even know, because I slighted someone and they only have their one side, and they keep attacking me and attacking me to the point where I'm curled up in a ball.

This is literally harassment....

Last night's cancellation of stream

Hey all, in case you didn't see my twitter message or my discord post, I cancelled my stream last night, due to not feeling well. I'll take this opportunity to clarify.

Last night, I started having gut pains and having to go to the bathroom often. Rather than deal with it sitting up, I went to lay down. On top of which, I didn't have any cohosts wanting to join me on Star Citizen last night, and Star Citizen is a game I'd rather play in a group, rather than solo, as I find it more fun in a group.

Even if I was feeling well, I would have to change the stream from Star Citizen to another game (such as a Final Fantasy game or something else). With that in mind, I also wanted to add what's in the pipe and what I'm waiting on.

---

Upcoming changes to stream

When Final Fantasy XIV moves to the Buried Memory patch (Patch 6.2), I will resume streaming FFXIV until I'm through the new content. Then I will switch back to Final Fantasy VII Remake Intergrade for a time until 6.25, when more content will come out. I thought I'd let you all know what my plans are for Final Fantasy Sundays for now. Once I'm through Final Fantasy VII Remake Intergrade's Main Story, I'll move over to INTERmission and play through that. Once I'm done with both the 6.25 FFXIV story AND FFVII Remake Intergrade's story content, I'll move over to another Final Fantasy game's pixel remaster (I-VI) and then play other Final Fantasy games I have on my computer. I do have all the Final Fantasy main line games up to X-2, I also have XII, XIII and all the sequels for XIII, and XV. Any other Final Fantasy game, I do not have (which for the main line, is XI, and most of the non-mainline Final Fantasy games, such as Tactics (only have the PS1 version on disc) and any of the Crystal games). I also do not have a capture card, so that makes streaming these games harder.

The BRB scene has been changed to have a solid background. As far as audio, I'm working on that, but I don't have an ETA when I'll add audio to it, beyond any changes I have. I may put in a video background eventually, but I don't have one...yet. I'll go through my recent streams and clips to see if I have one. I'll also be adding music to the beginning and end, but figuring out what music to use is something that I'm gonna think about. I'm aiming to get royalty-free songs that are ok for streaming/commercial use.

Getting a new talking AV for talking head/generic game use is on deck, along with subscription rewards (emotes) for those that subscribe to me on Twitch and on Ko-fi. I've been working with my artist, and I'm sorry that it's taking so long. The plan is to get the emotes done, then when he opens up for commissions again, work on the new talking AV for generic use, along with a scene for just talking.

I am also waiting on a banner from a different artist, for the channel. I do not have an ETA, but it'll be done when it's done.

I wish I didn't have to say this, but let me handle the communications with the artists, as it's my responsibility to follow-up, NOT YOURS. Noone has done anything -yet,- but I want to handle the communication between me and the artists when it comes to my channel. It's a business transaction, and should be handled by me, not by the mob of public opinion.

---

Personal issues

I've been depressed, partially because I've been feeling lonely and it doesn't help that I have had a toxic friend leave me and another friend who "doesn't feel safe" because all I wanted was just to talk to them, they're afraid that I would get suicidal, and the only way they want to talk with me is if I talk to them publicly. It really makes me feel devalued in that way because of the whole thing, not to mention it's being pushed AWAY and being ignored that is causing the depression, so hello vicious cycle.

I've also been finding out who my true friends are, and I'm probably gonna stick with those true friends and the new friends I'm making.

For those that don't know my definition of true friends, it's those who both give and take, who care about you and talk with you, who don't ignore you for days on end, let alone weeks on end, without saying a word. Those who are willing to share what's going on with their life and are willing to listen to you when you need to rant, yet also allow me to listen in to their rants. Those who don't feel like they have to walk on eggshells, afraid to even say anything for fear of hurting me. I will admit, sometimes, I can't take some things, but if you don't bring it up, it only gets worse...to the point where things are irreparable.

I will admit, the depression has had me think suicidal thoughts on occasion, but not severely. The problem is...when you have 10-20 people either ignoring you or not wanting to (or in some cases, can't) talk with you due to various reasons...and being told "no" often or just going the path of that one "friend" that didn't feel safe...yeah. You tell me how you'd feel when that happens.

Hey all, here's my streaming schedule for the week of 7/25/2022 to 7/31/2022 (all times are GMT-7, and is also posted at https://www.twitch.tv/salemadams/schedule ):

7/25/2022 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.: Star Citizen PTU
7/27/2022 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.: Star Citizen 3.17.2 (PTU or Live)
7/31/2022 9 a.m. to 12 p.m.: Final Fantasy VII Remake Intergrade Chapter 8 (Side quests! Shiva reattempt!)

Well, with the release of the latest version of Final Fantasy XIV, the Data Center Visit System (DCVS) is online.

With this iteration, as long as you're in the SAME PHYSICAL data center, you can visit eachother.

With that in mind, I am in the NA physical data center, Aether logical data center, Sargatanas server!

...but you will not be able to find me without asking me for my name, as my name isn't Salem Adams on FFXIV. :3

Talk with me privately, and I'll get that to you!

As I said, I'm not going to any conventions that are in-person for 2022. This is more of a safety precaution for myself, and 2023, I will examine if I will go to any conventions of the sort.

That being said, VIRTUAL conventions are not off the table. I'm willing to go them, if I know about them far enough in advance and am willing to attend if able to.

---

Now, Mental health update...

I've been feeling better, out of my depression as of late. It still comes and goes, but I'm in a better headspace now.

However, I'm still working on getting my twitch followers and subscribers emotes and having a channel banner. I have reached out to the artists for a status update, and one has gotten back to me about it. I understand things can be busy, so I'm not in a huge rush, but I will still be streaming with what I currently have.

Speaking of streaming...

I'm pausing streaming FFXIV until Patch 6.2, unless 6.18 has new content that I'd like to stream. Doesn't mean I'm not playing FFXIV, I'm just not streaming it.
In FFXIV's place, I'm streaming FFVII Remake Intergarde, starting with the main story. I've been playing that on the PS4 off and on (mostly off) but haven't had the motivation to complete it. Well, this'll force me to complete it, and I will be playing it until either the next patch (6.2) is released or I'm done playing it.
If I'm not done playing it and Patch 6.2 is released, I'll pause playing FFVII and play FFXIV until there's no new content to play, then switch back to FFVII.

Mondays and Wednesdays, I will still stream Star Citizen, and Thursdays, I'm not streaming, but am gonna be on Goldheart's stream for Sea of Thieves.

So....yeah.

All Times are GMT-7

Monday 6 p.m.: Monday Night Star Citizen (Planning on doing the Javelin tour, among other shenanigans)
Tuesday 6 p.m.: Invictus Launch Week part 3 (Fleet week days 5-6, short stream)
Wednesday 6 p.m.: Wednesday Night Star Citizen
Thursday 6 p.m.: Invictus Launch Week part 4 (Fleet week days 7-8)
Saturday 9 a.m.: Drake Defensecon (Fleet week days 9-10)
Sunday 9 a.m.: Sunday Morning Final Fantasy XIV (Finishing up Even Further Hildibrand Adventures)

Hey all,

Whelp, my depression returns, just when COVID decides to spike again. I'm going to be doing WFH and deliveries from here on, and not be interacting with anyone in-person until it dies down. I am up to date on my vaccinations, but haven't taken Evusheld (medicine that helps supplement immunity for immuno-compromised and immuno-suppresed people), so I want to be careful still.

I'm hesitant on taking Evusheld, because of the potential for cardiac issues. Hesitant, but is making me think...

Also, been feeling lonely, but not...if that makes sense? I guess some of the feeling could also be unrequited love...and noone here to help...

Still am going to be streaming all this week, though.

--Salem

Lately, I've been feeling abandoned by some of my friends who I've tried reaching out to over the past couple of years. Some do respond, but only minimally, and when I try to make plans with them, I don't get the time of day, or they don't try to make time with me.

I feel like I'm on a pedestal with some of these friends. A toy they show a little fondness for but don't try bring out.

This doesn't apply to all my friends, just a small subset. If I have tried reaching out to you multiple times and I try to make plans but don't give me a definite answer or think about spending time with me, then this is aimed towards you.

If I did this to you, I'm sorry. It's a shitty feeling, and please message me privately about this, to try to fix it.

Hey all,

About a week or so ago, someone talked with another person, who mentioned my relationship with my ex. That third person decided to ask me about my relationship with said ex, and without realizing it, caused me to relive the worst parts of that relationship, causing me to regress negatively. Now said third person apologized for even asking me about it, once they realized how bad it was with me, but the person who told them, hasn't apologized, and in fact, has even dug in and vehemently believes they have the right to talk to ANYONE about my ex, irregardless of how I feel.

...I...honestly don't know how to respond to this....

As far as my emotional work on trying to move on with my ex...all that work is gone...I've been having trouble sleeping...been having trouble trying to rebuild what was torn down...been dealing with even worse loneliness issues...It's really screwed me over, and despite me having a bad year...at least on the ex front, I was good...

I...don't know what to do...

I need help...

I'm not going to any in-person conventions in 2022. As far as digital ones, I may go to a few, including one or two Second Life science fiction conventions.

I'm just not sure what digital ones to go to, and if I do, I don't want to go alone.

Because I'm immunocompromised, in-person ones are not happening this year for me. It may be a few years before I even think about attending an in-person convention.

Hey all, if you want to try out FFXIV, now is a good time!

I'm on Aether/Sargatanas, but there are data centers in the US, Europe, Japan, and (just opened) Australia.

https://twitter.com/FF_XIV_EN/statu.....QUb3Y9gV_Btiwg