I'm offering my services as an icon/avatar commission artist at $5 a pop for a full color non-animated 2x2 inch avatar.

I hate memes and anyone who replies to this sucks. That having been said, describe me in one word.







You bastards.

My favorites from your gallery

For the first ten people who comment in this journal, I'll list my three favorite pics in their gallery, and say why.

If I do my thing in your gallery, you have to pay it forward. You have to post these rules in your journal.

Have at it.

My brother recently opened up a news blog.

It's pretty funny. Give it a look.

Being that I'll be a resident of a sane province in relatively short order (still no solid dates), this is one of my last real opportunities to extoll the virtues of the insanity of the governing bodies of the province in which I live. Granted, this story relates more to the city of Montreal than the province itself, but the way the province is run promotes this kind of thing. Firstly, I need people to understand that in Quebec, there's a law that states, clearly, that if poorly maintained roads damage your vehicle, they are not at fault and cannot be sued. It's odd to me that a law could be passed that absolves the clearly responsible party for damage to a personally owned vehicle, "Not my fault because I said so." I'm gonna try that when I punch someone in the face. I'll call it the, "No, I didn't!" defense.

It's odd, also, that more people haven't raised a ruckus over this, but there's an attitude that pervades this entire province that goes something like this, "It's how it's always been." This is the mantra of native English speakers here when their human rights are trodden upon by the government's agenda of, "French above all other languages," and, "French heritage and culture must be preserved, at the expense of whatever your heritage and culture is." Knowing that people tend to just overlook things like violations of basic human rights, the governments, even municipal and sub-municipal (they call self governing neighborhoods boroughs, here), do things that no one should be expected to deal with.

This is the second such case where people have been handed huge, private bills for basic road maintenance that is the responsibility for the government. I can't find the relevant article from a few months back, but it happened again then. Not only don't any government bodies say that's unfair, but when asked about it, members of the government of the city and province, who are supposed to have their constituents' best interests in mind say that they think it's fair. Meanwhile, where the fuck is the tax money going that gets paid to them on a regular basis? Why do the streets always look like shit with giant potholes, when Quebec has the highest income tax and sales tax of any province? How the fuck is it fair that people be expected to foot the bill for things that fall under the purvey of their city government? How do all the politicians (80% or more of them French) in this province afford to send their children to expensive private schools to learn how to function in an English speaking world, when they force even the English speaking students to study French for a minimum of 90 minutes a week from kindergarten up?

I've had it with the fucking corruption and the fucking Franco-centric bullshit of this province. I honestly hope that the place burns down as soon as we move out of it.

Any t-shirts I have ever promised to offer up here in my art pages are now available on MY ZAZZLE PAGE as well as several items of my art as postcards and such. If you'd like to purchase a piece of my art (R-rated or under, please. Zazzle doesn't allow any adult material beyond a standard american R.) that you don't see there, I can easily make it available in whatever form you wish, be it t-shirt, postcard, print, mug or whatever other merchandise Zazzle has on offer.

In the next few months, things is gonna be changing pretty hugely in the Pyromancy household. Due to an unforeseen shift in the nature of the primary income of the family, we're going to be moving to another city in the next few months. This leads to another issue, the extra cash that is required for a move of this magnitude for a family. I'm not asking for donations or commissions, though if you want commissions, I'm still open. What I am asking is that you could help spread the word about my STUFF ON ZAZZLE so that people can see and buy things. If you don't want to purchase, that's cool, just spread the word so people can find my little corner of the web. I have, on offer, mugs and t-shirts and postcards and prints and I'll be adding stuff steadily for quite some time. There are things you won't be able to see there (that contain nudity or strong language) without an account.

Please help. The more people see it, the more people may buy. The more people buy, the less strain will be put on the Pyromancy family, financially during this period of transition. I hate doing this, because I hate asking for any kind of help, but we're gonna need it soon.

Thanks!

I started an account at Zazzle.com (please, check it out!) and I think I'm happy with it. Zazzle allows people like me to sell my designs on their stuff. I have six mugs up there and a print, right at the moment, but I plan on selling some greeting cards, postcards and maybe a calendar through them at some point. They have age specific limitations, so you'll need to sign up to see anything that has nudity or even implied swearing. They have a PG-13 setting and that's what I set the STFU mug to. They won't let you view anything that's over the "G" rating without an account.

Anyway, if you're looking to grab some cool stuff with my designs, et cetera, on them, check it out and remember, artists need to eat too.

Check this out!

More to come, shortly.

...That Emilie Autumn has been in the world for nigh unto thirty years and I only just found about her, by accident, today. You've let me down, people. I'm so disappointed.

http://www.emilieautumn.com/img/Asy.....08PosterLg.jpg

Very, very disappointed.

I have a question for anyone who knows Lithium Picnic and/or his wife, the lovely Apnea. I am currently working on a piece to give them as a gift and a question of taste has arisen in the creation of the piece.

For those of you not completely in the know, Lithium Picnic (Philip Warner) and his wife used to work for/with Suicide Girls, he as a photographer, she as a model. Apnea left amid some controversy and her husband continued to work with them as a freelance photographer. They decided that she got off too easily or something and have determined to draw out a lengthy legal battle over some unfounded claims against him for breach of contract. The lawsuit is superfluous and is really being protracted to prevent him from being able to make a living as a photographer. They can't win because they aren't right, but they can make the case run so long that his legal fees amount to more than the amount of money he can make, thereby bankrupting him while still having no chance to win the case in court. Either way he's planning on fighting them.

That was the quick summary. The gift art I'm trying to make for them is going to feature Apnea being tempted by a devil. The question is this: Apnea is primarily known as a nude or fetish model. Should I depict her clothed or unclothed in the image? Either way, they're going to be fighting back against the devil in the pic.

1 - Post these rules
2 - Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves
3 - Tags should write a journal of these facts
4 - At the end of the post 8 more peeps tagged and named
5 - Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they’ve been ‘tagged’

1: I normally grow my hair long. If I hate it for five days straight, I shave my head.
2: I have a pet guinea pig named Archimedes, Archie for short.
3: I skateboarded for years and never learned to execute a successful Ollie.
4: My first video game system was Intellivision and I still miss the pilot from "B-17 Bomber" screaming at me, "That is NOT the target!" when I bombed the English countryside.
5: I've never beaten the original Super Mario Brothers. I always get to level 8-4 and quit.
6: I used to play guitar and actually could play all four parts to Metallica's "One" (not at the same time and yes, even the solo) but have since forgotten how to play all but the most basic parts of it.
7: I'm a bit of a pack rat and a tech junkie. I have almost all the components I've ever scavenged from a defunct computer system around my house.
8: I used to do drugs a lot when I was about thirteen or so, the whole year is a bit of a blank. I quit all of it by the time I was fourteen and have been clean since. I didn't have my first alcoholic beverage until I was 22 or so and do it so rarely that I have almost no tolerance.

I think everyone and anyone I know from hereabouts has already been tagged, so if you feel like doing this, just say I tagged you.

Here's my review journal. For your reading enjoyment, I'm going to review three movies, a game and a holiday.

First on my list of things to review is The Golden Compass. For openers, I'm going to say I saw a great heaving mountain of potential in this. The downside: Hollywood has this thing they do with potential greatness where they stomp on it and then homogenize, pasteurize, victimize, simonize, vulcanize and neuter the vitality right out of a high concept. They run ideas past focus groups (usually people wandering around in malls with a lot of free time on their hands, which as we all know represents a great cross section of the world's population.) and find out how stupid people think they really can get and make the movie for that audience. Occasionally, the original concept they were working with is so lowbrow as to not be wrecked by this process. In this case, sadly, well, I'll just say that as I watched the movie I felt like I was on the other side of a wall of slightly translucent plastic which hid, undoubtedly, behind it something really intelligent and well written, which, if you squinted just right at times you could see a raw hint of it, but it never payed off. The visuals were brilliant. The characterization just didn't ever get a chance to flower and because it's based on the first book of a trilogy, so automatically the director thought that we'd put up with the same shit that we did from Peter Jackson and J.R.R. fucking Tolkien. Not so, sir. You want to end a movie based on the best known trilogy of books ever written in English, you're allowed some latitude on where you cut your first movie of a trilogy. You can leave things dangling because people understand that closure will come in future installments. You take a book that is not terribly well known and change the name from, "The Northern Lights," to, "The Golden Compass," you end up with a huge chunk of confusion and disinterest and shitty box office take. All in all, I thought the movie was better than the panning it's taking from most reviewers, but despite it's lofty aspirations, it falls short. The performances were good. The writing was okay but seemed to be so edited for time that it didn't tell a cohesive story. The effects were really strong but failing a decent story telling, they were kind of like a juggling monkey. "Pretty cool, but so what?" It did leave me with something of a good note. I thought the concept was good enough to want to read the books. I will not, however, go to see any future installations.

On to "I AM LEGEND." Anyone who has looked it up on wikipedia knows what the original novel was about and the synopsis of the story. The movie unfolds what appears to be a fascinating retelling of this old, oft misinterpreted, book. It almost seems like they finally got it right up until the end where once again the focus groups drop the ball. If you are going to go to the trouble of basing a movie off of a story, why write a new story and try to make it seem similar to the original? Anyway, if you don't know about, or aren't really attached the original story, this isn't at all a bad movie. Will Smith delivers the performance of his career. I've never really thought of him as an actor until now, but this movie made me sit up and recognize him. The effects are okay, nothing terribly special, the story isn't bad on it's own (if you can disregard the fact that the original is largely disregarded.) and generally speaking, the tone is amazing in its bleakness. Not the best movie I've ever seen, but if you're going to go see a movie, I'd put it in the "maybe" pile and with all the "definitely not ever"s out at this point that's a vote for it.

Third movie: Alvin and the Chipmunks. Keep in mind, I live with a seven year old who demanded to be entertained during her time off from school. My wife, daughter and I all stepped out to see it and I, for one, was pleasantly surprised. It's not anything special, story-wise. Pretty after school special, really. The effects (the CG chipmunks) were really particularly well done. The highlight of the movie was the humor. I almost pissed myself on a couple of occasions during this one. If you have kids or fond memories of the chipmunks from your childhood, go see it.

The winter holidays wererelatively good to uncle Pyro, this year. Got a lot of things and saw a lot of people. One of the gifts of note: Guitar Hero 3 for the PC. Some technical issues notwithstanding, I am absolutely floored by the game. This thing is WAY more fun than almost any game I've ever played. I've had it for less than a full day, at this point, so my opinion of it may change, but for now, try it.

Christmas... What can I really say about it..? How about this? Christmas is a manufactured holiday. The true meaning of christmas is to eclipse the pagan winter solstice celebrations. It's too commercial, it's too pivotal to the western world and it's too much like a day when I can't go to the store to buy something I need because the christian viewpoint seems to be the only one that matters in North America. Whatever happened to a little thing I like to call "diversity"?

Too much snow was dumped on my ass this weekend. I walked home carrying groceries yesterday (Sunday), a distinace of about half a mile, and by the time I actually got home, I had ice in my eyebrows, eyelashes, beard and hair. Big fucking chunks of ice. We're still pretty snowed under, here. The kid's school is closed today so we're hangin' today, e.g. no work on anything with even an adult tangent today.

I was glancing through DeviantArt today, and I saw something that led me to the gallery of a 17 year old with some seriously odd ideas on life. He called himself a "juggalo" and I'm cool with the fact that I am not cool anymore so not having a clue what that was didn't bother me. I looked it up on wikipedia and came to this conclusion: WTF!?

I remember a time when dressing all in black got you labeled a satanist, listening to punk rock got you declared a violent criminal and carrying a beeper made everyone absolutely positive that you were a drug dealer. Now fucked up kids listen to fucked up music, wear deranged clown make-up and act like they're gang-bangers and consider themselves an extended crime family? Where the fuck are parents? Does anyone remember walking out of the house on any day besides Halloween with any kind of greasepaint on your face and not being hit with at least a "Where do you think you're going lookin' like that?"

Also, "juggalo" is the stupidest fuckin' word I've ever encountered. it's like someone said, "We need a word that doesn't already mean something and sounds fucking retarded so that everyone who uses it, or hears it will become instantly enraged. Then we blame all subsequent violent crime on punk kids dumb enough to try to emulate the fictional accounts of rappers committing violent crimes while wearing clown make-up."

I've heard and like some shit by ICP. It's funny. Most of it is over the top and has the general intention of pissing off maladjusted teenagers (moody, anti-social teens? that must be a difficult demographic to find. teens are traditionally happy and sunny all the time.) but the guys performing the shit don't take themselves too seriously and so are tolerable in small doses. (I like a joyful little ditty with the whimsical title, "Fuck the World.") Being a societal reject doesn't make you part of a family, unless family is now engendered by a common hatred for anything that makes sense. If you need to follow ridiculous examples, wear a stupid uniform and be violent, please, join the fucking military. They even let you wear camouflage make-up on your face from time to time. if you want to be a clown, join the fuckin' circus. If you want to be a criminal, have some sack and be a criminal with your face out there. Don't hide behind some bozo make-up and for the love of all that's holy, if you feel the need to be an angry rapper, do something new, because being an asshole who raps has been done to death.

...and I have the right to be an ass if I want, apparently.

I don't know who any of you watch here or on DeviantArt, but recently a user, who shall remain nameless, started trying to get people to sign a petition to prevent Andrew Lloyd Weber (is he even still alive?) from making a sequel on Broadway to the horrible thing he did to the Phantom of the Opera. She was a fan of the first but because the sees that the sequel will be out of canon with her vision of how it should be, she creates a petition to censor another creative person. Odd way to go, for someone who draws a lot of furry porn, which, as we all know is universally loved, accepted and has redefined the way the media mainstream looks at fringe elements of society. I'm not trying to make ad hominem attacks on her or anything, I just find it a little odd that the people who always cry out against censorship are the first to try to enact it upon others the moment their views don't mesh.

That notwithstanding, I agree. Andrew Loyd Weber (I don't give half a shit if I spell it right) should not be allowed to make this. He should not have been allowed to make anything. He is a relatively low talent hack with a remarkable talent for creating "musical theater" pieces that are easily chewable by the stupid masses who don't want to be challenged or uplifted or be forced to do anything but fall in love with thinly veiled archetypal recastings of characters from classic literature (except for the thing about alley cats. That was some weird shit, even for him.). For those of you who are more of a math vein: Andy Floyd Weiner < (Jim Carrey+Adam Sandler)/Uwe Bol.

For anyone who's reading this who likes ALW's Phantom of the Opera, Erik isn't your lover. He's actually a fictional character to which there have been many remakes since the original book, including -gasp- a horror movie! If you think he is, even in fantasy, in love with you, you are creating your own fanfic that most other people who think that Erik is in love with them would probably start a petition to stop you, if they knew. Secondly, being a fan, even a "seriously devoted" one, does not prevent people from massacring the things you love (See: Star Wars, Star Trek, Spider-Man, X-men, Bat-Man, Star Wars, the Bionic Woman, Firefly (so young... so young. -sob-), Resident (fucking) Evil, Star Wars (Jake Loyd? Are you fucking serious?!), Stargate, Alien, Predator, Doctor Who, Ghost Rider (was a comic before it sucked really bad on screen), The Fantastic Four (see previous), and any number of other good ideas that were milked and rehashed to their own eventual ruination. (Did I mention Star Wars?))

Where were these petition people back when these ideas were being boned? They suffered for our sins and nothing until it's a property you enjoy because, "That's just wrong, what they did to my man!"

On behalf of people with the sense to realize that fiction is fiction and exists in whatever form you perceive of it, shut the fuck up with that noise. Go make your sucking noises on some other internet. You have a right to say whatever you want, so I believe I'll say, "Censorship fucking blows, wherever it comes from." If people have the right to say whatever they want, then people don't have the right to tell other people what they can and can't say (or how it can be expressed) by expressing themselves to that end. if you have the right to say you don't want to see it, you give them the right to make it. Stop being fucking hypocrites.

PS: If you signed the petition in question, that doesn't mean necessarily that my level of respect has fallen for you. I would do a lot to ensure that Andi Load Webring never made another project, and retroactively never made a first one. Seriously. Ten pounds of suck in a five pound sack.

For any of you who have been interested in my kids' book dealy, you can get a copy for yourself or any little kids you know, now.

This is through a self publish sort of thing, and I am trying to sell it to a bigger publisher. there's no telling how much it will cost once the pubs get hold of it, so get it while it's still collectible.

Furafinity is back and I need help. Send me money. No? Okay. Having tried and failed at that, I am lacking in inspiration and I need something to force me to start drawing again. As everyone knows, once I finish a big project, I'm tapped on inspiration and a will to create.

Any suggestions on how to get my groove thang back in its groove would be a trip.

...For best review of Assasin's Creed that I have yet seen goes to: Phillip Jackson (a.k.a Jolly Jack)

Thank you. Good night.

I currently have the ability to print small amounts of shirts at a time. The designs that I can make are BEEF, Insomnia Blue, Motherhood,Aw, kitty!, paranoia (I can't get the orange shirts so you'd have to choose between brown and red on this one.), morning perky (You have no idea how impossible it is to find purple t-shirts. this comes as white lines printed on blue.)

I currently have 10 order slots available.

1. Shipped.(open)
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Here's hopin'.

Look here.

I don't usually like this artist too much, but this is damned funny.

I really want to start selling some shirts but I have problems with production that limit the amount of shirts I can do at the moment.

How does this sound? I'll open up slots like people do with commissions. This allows me to throttle the workflow, rather than going live with a site and being unable to deliver. Unless otherwise stated, the colors you see are the colors you can expect. Note me for sizing and such and ordering. If this works out, I'll be able to open up a few more designs for sale. The next two designs in line to become sellable designs are "Coffee makes me mellow," and "Insomnia makes me pleasant." (a.k.a. Insomnia red)

I currently have the ability to print small amounts of shirts at a time. The designs that I can make are BEEF, Insomnia Blue, Motherhood,Aw, kitty!, paranoia (I can't get the orange shirts so you'd have to choose between brown and red on this one.), morning perky (You have no idea how impossible it is to find purple t-shirts. this comes as white lines printed on blue.)

I currently have 10 order slots available.

1. Filling order.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Here's hopin'.

In this image, does it look like the hand is flipping something off?

I'm considering a redo and I need some input.

--EDIT!!! The wife insisted that he was flipping off the curtain so I edited it. Thanks for your input.

I've been thinking a lot lately about books that I could recommend to you, my friends, from the immense library of books I've put away over the years. There are a few authors of whom I'm a fan and I have yet to share their goodness with the folks who listen.

Here goes: Book one, on my list of books to recommend here, in a furry community (This should be required reading for the furs out there.) is The Moreau Omnibus, by S. Andrew Swann. There's another book that really should have been part of this collection but was published after the omnibus, Fearful Symmetries by the same author. The first story in the Omnibus focuses on a private investigator named Nohar Rajasthan who gets caught up in things quite a bit above his head. He solves a mystery with immense implications. Did I mention that he also happens to be a genetically engineered tiger who stands around eight feet and wears clothes? Though the other two books contained in the omnibus feature a cameo by the inimitable Nohar, his story doesn't get picked up again until Fearful Symmetries. Some of my favorite one-liners, imagery and characters come out of these two books.

The second recommendation I have is American Gods by Neil Gaiman. If you have ever read a mythological tale and been intrigued, this is a good book for you. Gaiman is a master wordsmith. His characters could easily be people you could bump into on the street and be completely unaware and yet irrevocably changed.

These are both recommendations in the fiction vein. If you'd like to see my recommendations on any other subjects, just ask, or stay tuned. I'll probably do this once every couple weeks or so.

I have been on the dark side of things for a very long time. I've spent most of my life living in a wonderfully dark emotional space. I find joy in clever methods of torture found in history books and I find the exquisite emotional sting of a rough break-up to be almost ecstatic to hear about. I would've been goth if I hadn't been brought up during KISS's first career where anybody who wore halloween style makeup during the rest of the year was referred to as a member of the KISS army. I have on a black article of clothing almost every day, habitually wear a black leather cuff on my right wrist whenever I leave the house and I wear pointy silver jewelry whenever the situation permits.

One of my first stories I ever wrote as a kid involved a ghost of a little girl who thought that nobody loved her. I was about six or seven. If you look at my art, you'll notice a trend for dark things or things represented darkly. When people ask things like, "Why can't you draw something that's just... pretty?" I am at a complete loss. Conceptually, everything I draw is pretty to me, even and especially the really dark stuff. I like to tell friends and family members that ask stuff like that, "There's darkness in my soul."

Having said this, I need to point something out. Every time I show someone something of which I am particularly proud that has a dark but not gross or frightening feel to it, I get a certain amount of response that amounts to, "Wow. That's very Tim Burton." I appreciate the sentiment, but people who do work like me (Dark and moody but also cute and/or non-threatening) really get tired of the Tim Burton comparisons. He didn't invent dark and cute as a style. He's not a particularly talented artist and if you go back and really watch most of his movies, they aren't very good and have a bunch of cliched imagery and plot "twists." I'm not trying to be a dick here, but if one more person tells me that my stuff is very Tim Burton, there's gonna be an "accident" involving something cute and dark and likely pointy, and their rectum.

You gotta see this.

I'm looking at you, Cheska.