I've been having this rather serious problem with drawing lately, in that I've simply not been drawing any of my favorite characters or the more ambitious gifts I wanted to draw for friends out of this misguided fear of failure. Mind you, this is hardly a recent occurrence, but my best drawings are what happens when I essentially forget about it just let it all flow naturally.

This has been pretty hard to do lately, and things like colouring that requires a lot of thought usually leads to second-guessing.
I wonder if there are is any counseling specifically for artists with this sort of issue around. Hypnosis, even. It seems I'm fairly open to suggestion in that regard.

Of course, this is all my theory on it. It's not like it shuts me down completely, but I feel like it's being a serious glass ceiling for me.

For a simple character sketch for a screencap presented as a response.
I know I didn't actually finish the last one, but that's in the past. Gotta' look to the future!

I was entertaining an idea last night about a character portfolio. Essentially a set of 10-12 images loosely ranging from 'average-everyday" actions to totally risque of this character.

Likely arranged as a PDF, and selling for a "pay what you want" with a minimum of $1.

Think there'd be any interest in that?

This isn't it.

This is pretty much it. Attending Sheridan college in September for t3h learnings and I need a place to stay. I've been checking out a lot of places for rent around the area, some of which look promising, but it'd be super duper freakin' awesome if I could room with some people that were only half-strangers, y'know?

Anybody know anything?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib7-vSrp6y8

This bill, in an effort to protect against online movie streaming would inadvertently make it illegal
to stream or upload ANY copyrighted performance over electronic means. that means no lets' plays, walkthroughs, speedruns, commentaries, tournament footage, etc.


Please act! This short form takes 20 seconds to fill out and will voice your opinion!
http://act.demandprogress.org/lette.....6.5hVZPC&r...

Most of you in canada have probably already heard about the efforts to stop the privatization of ISP's and usage based billing. I'm just thinking this would be the exact sort of thing Steam would fight for. When it comes to digital retail, they're pretty much #1 for deals. In fact, I'm pretty sure one of the largest factors keeping people frown downloading even MORE games, especially the new Free MMO games or other super-cheap collections sales, is because of having to budget their bandwidth usage as to not get stabbed in the ass with an added fee from their ISP.

If we could somehow get Steam to help fight for an affordable and fair internet then that would be an enormously helpful ally. Now, just how would this be done?

I need 2 things right now; an income and actually making art. I've been doing neither of these things since doing all of these courses over the summer to get into Sheridan. With the newest course I have a bit of a lull, so I'm taking advantage of it.

So, here's the skinny:
3 preferably TF based commissions, prices are listed on my main page. Please, please, please, avoid asking me to draw one anthro animal TFing into a different anthro animal. That takes out all the fun of TF.

Golly-gee, that was fast. Don't you people sleep at 2:30 morning?

-  kittenkeiko

- 0-Kado-0

- NodgeFalec (done)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rblu.....feature=fvwrel

There's a little bird on all of us.

Here's something that's really been getting on my tits the past few days. Lately Ive been seeing an increasing number of people 'selling' their characters, or in case of adoptables, pallet-swapped versions of them. Now maybe this just means a whole lot less to a person who actually has the ability to create and draw his own characters (me) but I just can't come up with any logical reason someone would want to pay someone else for a pre-made character!
Seriously, some of these adoptions are fetching $30 for a pallet-swap, and auctions running sometimes at up to $75! And the 'winner' gets the rights to use this character? WHY!? If you didn't have the imagination to come up with a character to begin with and had to pay money for someone else's, you're only gonna' have to pay even MORE money to have someone else draw that character again! It's disgusting!

Now I'm not saying that there aren't a lot of people (furries in particular, I've noticed) with a lot of disposable income, but come on! I can't even do this myself in good conscience! it's a bloody scam is all I can see it as, and there are far too many suckers going for it.

Here's a free tip. On the house. You don't even have to bid for it.
JUST COMMISSION SOMEONE!
If you're so imaginatively bankrupt that you need someone else's characters, find the aspects that you like about this character. Figure out just what kind of character you do like, and then commission someone to draw it. Because otherwise, you're literally paying up to, if not more than twice the amount for a regular commission. All you're doing is paying for this imaginary right to imagine doing stuff you want it to do.

Now I'm not saying that there should be no intellectual property rights, I'm saying that paying this much, in this way, for literally less than you'd get for cheaper is just plain stupidity.

So I was just walking the dog back from the lake, and just thinking about the West's issues with government control, and all the corruption that's being allowed to happen, and then passing by a couple people as I went made me think just how disconnected we are from one another. Now, individuality is pushed by everyone, and it's a thing we all want out of life, but it comes at a cost of separating ourselves from each other. As well, people in general are usually a little mistrusting of each other. Think of the last time you struck up a conversation with random person on the bus.
I put some blame on mainstream news media for much of this.

Anyway, coming back to my main point, a people divided is a people easy controlled without fear of them joining together in a common interest. So by just inspiring fear and mistrust in each other and glamorizing the individual, you'll never have to worry about an effective uprising.

Yeah, so those are just some thoughts I was entertaining.

I barely use my current one, so why not redesign him into something much more noticeable? Give him a bit more design flare~ Start drawing him and just never fucking stop!
Details details details!
Or I could just make him a Secretarybird Quetzalcoatl! Tat'd be awesome, rite?

For those who give a damn, I'm making up 4 U level courses over the summer so i can get into Sheridan for Animation in September. it's gonna' be writing forever, but ill TRY to submit SOMETHING now and then.

Round and round and round round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and...

seriously, yesterday I got 12 watchers in 2 hours and today I got another 7 more! Did someone post a journal advertising me or something? I've been very inactive lately.

ZOMG!!

Why does so many people's lives suck right now? Makes me feel bad I can't help them in a time when I'm feeling pretty alright. I guess my life can suck too.

Copied from  patto 's journal, because it's EXTREMELY relevant! You have to sign this right now! and pass it on in your own journals.

http://openmedia.ca/meter

"http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/.....t-garneau.html

"Large ISPs like Bell and Rogers said usage-based caps are necessary to prevent heavy internet users from hogging too much bandwidth and causing congestion.

The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission agreed that usage-based billing addresses the problem. It ruled last week that Bell could charge its wholesale customers, mostly smaller internet service providers, based on the same usage-based billing schemes as it uses for its retail customers, provided the wholesale customers get a 15 per discount relative to Bell's retail customers."

And I already thought that internet and phone bills here in Canada already sucked enough to the point where it couldn't get worse... "

Looks like any digital drawings I've got coming will have to wait. My computer's videocard fan's been under ghetto repair for the last 8 months, and my card's starting to give the same glitches my previous one did before it burnt out. (Dying videocards make some interesting visual glitches, if you've never seen them.)

So anyway, looks like Im going to have to punch myself in the wallet for a new one. Maybe some RAM too...

I almost have 1000 watches! :U

So there's a Con' over near Toronto called Furnal Equinox happening in mid March. Good friend of mine's  runa216 been trying to get his girlfriend up just across the boarder for a while, and would love to have her at the Con' as well. He's getting some of his friends (and himself) together to do a little Raffle for those who donate 2 bucks, winners getting sketches from myself and or others, top donator gets a spiffy something from  anyare , and Runa's doing short stories as well.

I'd love to see them both at the convention, myself. You can see his journal for this here http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1996360/

It's that time again, folks. The time where I'm almost at 20,000 hits. Wee!
Same deal as last time, really! First person in the comments to post a screen-cap of 20,000 gets a character sketch! Doesn't that sound like fun? Clap-clap-weee! :D

Getting right to the point, it's been too long since I've done anything. I've been spending the last 3 months procrastinating at literally everything, especially art. Even doodling. Picking up that stylus...
What's worse, my head's been doing bad things to me, seeing internet-friends and other people improve while I haven't done anything. It doesn't help the motivation, and only makes me slip further behind.

There are way too many 'failed artists" I know who have succumbed to, essentially, mental breakdown, and it's feeling far too likely that I'll fall into the same trap that they did.

The solution is simple, though; just to pick up the pen and work. Draw with heart. Draw a lot. Don't compare with other people. Be awesome, especially in your own eyes. These are all personal mantra I've been terribly neglecting over easy, empty achievements like Minecraft and League of Legends.

I'd say I needed help; maybe for someone to say just the right thing to get my head back into the game. There isn't such a thing that can be said, or someone to say it. It's all me, and it's all there ever will be. I'm the only one who can get started and get better, However, that fact puts a little bit of intimidating pressure on myself, furthering the recluse to games for easy, fruitless successes.

It's a problem.

*EDIT*
These comments are starting to group into one collective "Oh gawd why do we all suck" self-help meeting!

So it was my sister's birthday yesterday, visiting from out of town on her trip back from Newfoundland, when we'd decided to go see a movie. "Skyline" to be more specific.
After a sleuth of unfamiliar production companies and writers/directors introductions, I was thinking "Swell! Maybe this could be some new unexplored talent that finds a way to creatively break the formula and tedium that a lot of movies seem to suffer from!"

Weeell... I was HALF right. TL;DR version at the bottom.

The movie starts off immediately with these blue light-balls coming down from the sky, and a bunch of people in a penthouse suite are woken up, one of them staring out the window at this all consuming blue light, being drawn to it... and then we cut to 15 hours earlier. Where it just shows the characters going to their friends penthouse suite, having a party, getting drunk, having a little but of drama, and then going to bed. THEN we get to see that scene again with the lights. Yay. This is a really inefficient way to TRY to have character development, as these characters are all REALLY one-dimensional.

So "Oh noes!" this one character nobody knew is spirited away out the window after being drawn into the blue light. 'Main character is aaaallmost drawn in too, but gets tackled to the flood. Oh yeah, and whenever people look into these lights their pupils go all white and they get these 'corruption' veins all over their skin. Interesting at first before you realize that this movie subscribes to the Cloverfield's method of "explain absolutely nothing."

So these characters realize some dumb shit is going down and rush up to the roof of the building where they see these giant mothership thingies all descend ominously from the sky right over the giant blue 'beacons' they'd dropped, and start sucking up people by the thousands. Really cool, admittedly, right up until the point when they're attacked by one of those 'squiddies' from the Matrix when they rush back inside again.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the characters/yourself being halfway involved in the story, because it's time to literally count the days and watch the characters loaf around and hide from the blue lights shone in the windows by flying squiddies now and then, as well as looking out the window with their telescope at much more interesting events taking place, such as these great big Cloverfield monsters running around on the ground below, or little rag-tag military assaults. Even the characters decide this is getting boring and decide to try to make a run for it because it was decided that these alien ships can't hover over water. Oh, also the main character's rich friend has a yacht. Did we mention he has a yacht? He has a yacht, you know.

So they all sneak down to the parking garage and load up into two cars with the intent of making a dash for the water. Literally, no sooner did one car touch the asphalt when it gets stepped on by one of the giant walking monsters. Yeah, very nice peripheral vision there, rich black guy and your mistress. So lots of screaming takes place and they all run back into the building again when they get attacked by another squiddy, this time snatching up a random characters husband, stuffing him inside it's giant vagina, getting rammed by a car, getting husband OUT, and then the alien squiddy not REALLY being dead, snatching the husband again with the tentacles, and atomizes his head leaving his lovely blue glowing brain. Stuffing the new brain in it's brain-hole to replace the car-damaged one, it attacks them again just as they get away back to the penthouse. Yay, these things are powered by brains somehow for some reason.

At this point after the failed scene-change things were getting even more dull. More hopeless talk about the situation, a bit of raised tension, and... oh right, main character is super strong now because he just lifted up the jerk by the neck with one hand. Apparently being exposed to the blue lights but not being abducted twice gives you super strength. Right, and also main characters wife/girlfriend is pregnant, not that that amounts to anything.

Skipping ahead some pointless military assaults (and one nuked alien ship which just regenerates anyway, making that completely pointless) the main character and his wife rush to the roof to try to get evacuated with the military chopper that landed to drop off snipers. Main character beats the shit out of a squiddy with his super strength and a cinderblock, he gets wounded in the leg a little, a pointless bit of 'I wont leave you" drama, and they both get sucked up by a mothership. Please make note that this is an hour and 30 minutes into the movie!

So after a few shots of famous (and completely deserted) places around the world to show that we dun fucked up and lost. Yippy.
But no! The movie doesn't stop there! instead, we get this really cool scene of inside the alien ship; bodies are piled everywhere, covered in a sickening black icher! These 'harvesting' tentacle things from the matrix pick up the unconscious people one by one, atomizing their heads and harvesting their brains, putting them into the bodies of these big alien-ape looking monsters and just tossing the rest of the body into this luminescent blue pit! The main characters girlfriend wakes up to these terrifying scene to find the main character being picked up by the tentacle, having his brain harvested just like the rest! Only... HIS glowing brain is Orange, not blue...
She's about to get harvested too, but one of the tentacles notices a heartbeat in her stomach (how long into a fetus' development before it gets a heartbeat? Because she was no more than a week or two...)
and sends her away to this other identical looking place where these tentacles are about to examine her or something. Meanwhile, main character orange brain is put into one of the giant alien ape bodies, but because of his... corruption by the failed abductions... or something... he gains control of the body! Smashing through a wall towards his girlfriend/wife and tearing the tentacle monster hovering over her apart! There's a brief moment of 'Is that really you?" from her.

Remember how it's about 1:40 into it by now? Yeah, so did they. ROLL CREDITS!!!
OH AND JUST THROW IN SOME STILL SHOTS OF HIM FIGHTING OTHER ALIEN MONSTERS

They actually decided to have all of this boring stuff all the way up to this point, and then when some resolution might actually be happening, stop it dead.

TL;DR version. Aliens invaded, stole everyone's brains. Plot points were set up, and then intentionally dismissed and never resolved. The movie just stops. Possible the most blue-balling ending since the 'ending' of F.E.A.R. 2